“I miss you” are the first words that Baekhyun uttered when the laptop screen shows a special curly-haired guy.

Snuggled into a blanket in a dark-lit room with only the screen as the only source of light, he smiles widely when the other person responds.

“Why didn’t you turn the lights on? You’ll damage your eyes,” concern laced through every word. Baekhyun can only mumble a soft ‘it’s okay’ and gives out a nod for assurance.

“Are you sure?”

I can’t turn on the lights. He’ll see what a mess I am.

“Positive, plus I’m trying to save electricity. You don’t want to come home to a dark apartment, am I correct?” Baekhyun winks, resulting a laughter at the other side.

How he missed to hear that.

The atmosphere suddenly turns silent. All Baekhyun could hear is the sound of their breath, calming him at his state of distraught.

They stared at each other, eyes communicating on its own. As if everything that he felt for the past few weeks are being conveyed through only eye-contact and the magical thing is that the other man seems to be understanding every single signal.

“I’m sorry.”

You shouldn’t be apologizing.

Baekhyun turns away, fearing that he will burst into tears in front of his lover. He needs to show that he’s strong enough, and breaking down will not help the situation at all.

Mouth quivering, stomach tying into knots and a sharp pain at his heart. He can’t stand it anymore.

It was a bad idea, the video call. If anything, it makes Baekhyun misses him much more than he already is.

He hates the fact that he can’t hug him, nor kiss him. He miss his touches and it’s driving him crazy.

Is it possible to jump into the laptop screen and grab hold of the man on the other side? Reality washes Baekhyun down that he’s thousands of miles apart from the only person he wishes to be by his side right now.

Cruel reality breaks Baekhyun’s heart into smitherins everytime.

“When are you coming back?” he shots the only question he wants the answer for.

Silence.

“You know how much I want to get back home, Baekhyun-ah.”

There is it again. Stop it.

“Oh.”

The silence enveloping them is driving Baekhyun insane. SAY SOMETHING, YOU IDIOT!

“I love you.”

Baekhyun’s whole body freezes.

That is the last straw.

He breaks out into a sob and quickly closes his laptop shut, ignoring the obvious surprised and concerned look from the other line.

Shoving his laptop away from his sight, he curls into a fetus and lets his tears fall. He couldn’t suppress his feelings any longer and with him suddenly dropping the L-word, he just falls apart.

How dare you, Park Chanyeol.

You’re not allowed to make me suffer this much.

Stop, please.

-

As the days pass, Baekhyun cannot help but regret his decision of letting Chanyeol to study overseas. He didn’t expect for it to hurt this much.

It seems selfish of him to be thinking that way, but Chanyeol is also selfish for doing this to him.

It’s only fair.

The worst thing is that Baekhyun is not student and is currently unemployed. He has all the time to himself and unfortunately to think about Chanyeol.

Every time he tries to watch the TV, he will think of the endless moments that they spent on the couch. Not necessarily watching the blaring TV, they always get distracted by each other’s presence. Baekhyun smiles at the thought of their feet tangling, hands locked and his head nestled into the Chanyeol’s nest. The most comfortable position he has ever been in.

When the apartment is suffocating him, he puts on his shoes and takes a walk at the park just in front of their apartment building. He loves breathing deep in the fresh air as they live far from the city. The people from neighbourhood are also very friendly.

He and Chanyeol used to knock on the door of each of the apartment/house around when they just moved in.  His policy to a happy life is to be good to the neighbours. Nothing feels warmer than being welcomed.

“Oh, Baekhyun. How are you doing?” an ahjumma stops Baekhyun in his tracks, the warmth of her smile sending tingles to his body.

“Ahjumma! I’ve missed you!” Baekhyun runs towards her, hugging her petite body but carefully not crushing the elderly.

“I’m doing fine. What about you?” he continues as he pulls out from the hug.

“Well, I’m feeling as good as an elderly can feel. Oh, are you alone? Where’s that boy that you live with? What’s his name again.. Changmin..Chan..”

“Chanyeol, it’s Chanyeol,” Baekhyun cuts her train of thought.

“Ah, yeah. Where is he?”

Hesitant, he looks down at ground. He takes a deep breath and musters up a bright smile.

“He’s actually out of the country studying since two months ago. He’s very sorry that he didn’t get to say goodbye to the neighbours,” he said calmly, eyes not leaving the ahjumma for even a second.

“Oh my, two months ago? You’ve been living alone all this while? Must be lonely in that big apartment of yours,” she shows genuine concern and gives Baekhyun a tight hug, patting his back.

Baekhyun returns the hug gladly, eyes red from fighting with the tears.

“More than you can ever imagine,” he chokes out, letting a few betraying tears fall.

-

He needs to get a job and distract himself until Chanyeol gets back. The sleepless nights needs to stop right away.

After a day of going around town to look out for any job vacancy, he finally managed to get a place at a supermarket. The pay was definitely not in the question, as he only needs the job to distract himself. In fact, his family has enough to buy the supermarket if he persuades them to.

The night before the first day, he spends the whole night in his room, listening to music. He hates silence, it makes him feel so hollow and lonely.

When ‘Dancing Queen’ comes on, he can’t help but laugh at his memories of this song. It was their jam and they could play that song whole day if they wanted to.

Chanyeol was always the one to break into dance. His long legs awkwardly pacing from side to side, hands swinging in the air. Baekhyun joins only when forced by him, taking over the dance floor immediately.

He misses Chanyeol complimenting on his dancing skills. Compared to him, Baekhyun’s a dancing star.

“You should really audition to be an idol. I would stan you to death,” he would say.

“Plus, your voice is lovely. The whole world needs to hear you belting out those notes.”

Baekhyun laughs at his admiration for him and pinches his cheeks, making the taller guy blush. Baekhyun circles his arms on his waist and leans closer to his chest, the hum of his heart clear.

“Wait, I take that back. Your lovely voice is only for me to hear,” he cracks a grin and kisses Baekhyun’s head softly before ruffling it with his hands.

Baekhyun’s face suddenly turns sullen from the memory.

The upbeat and catchy melody still playing in his ears, he takes off his earphones and pulls on the covers.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

-

“My name is Baekhyun. Nice to meet you!” Baekhyun introduces himself to the other employees.

“Hello there, Baekhyun. My name is Kris and I’m the manager here. Here are you co-workers, Luhan, Kyungsoo, Jongin and Minseok. You guys take care of this new kid here, okay?” he points to the 4 people standing behind him and glares at them.

“Sure thing, boss!” Luhan answers and smiles innocently. How old is this guy? 12?

Kris dismissed us and  reminded us that work starts in 5 minutes. With that deep voice and a stare cut glass, Baekhyun concludes that Kris is a very, very fierce boss. Not someone to mess with.

“Whoah, it’s either he’s very strict or he hates his job,” Baekhyun says when he’s sure that he’s out of earshot.

“Nah, don’t be fooled by his glares and posture. He’s actually quite a nice boss.. when he wants to be,” Minseok butts in, while the other nod in agreement.

“You’re gonna like it here. We get free lunch,” Kyungsoo puts his arms around Baekhyun and shows his blinding pearly whites.

He’s liking it already.

-

During lunch time, they gather together at a table.

“I’m wiped, man. I’m handling the counters today and it took forever for me to finish this lady. She should just buy the whole supermarket, for God’s sake!” Jongin complains, wiping his tears with his sleeves.

“Lucky that you don’t have to mop someone else’s vomit... THRICE! The kid was shooting out bile like it was some RPG shooting game and I had to clean up the mess. The parents shouldn’t have brought a sick kid shopping. They’re just bringing trouble to the management,” Luhan whines, eyebrows furrowing from anger.

“Relax, guys. Enjoy this free lunch and forget about this morning. We still have 3 hours before the supermarket closes,” Kyungsoo shoves kimchi into his mouth, looking completely uninterested in the others’ complaints.

“What about you, Baekhyun? I heard you got the stacking job?” Minseok asks.

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking.”

“Ohh, so that’s what the girls’ are fussing about all morning. I’ve had 3 group of girls coming at the counter, screaming for the guy who was stacking up the noodles. You’re quite a popular kid, aren’t you?” Jongin stares at him, making Baekhyun uncomfortable.

Kyungsoo then whacks Jongin with a clean spoon, “ Stop it, Jongin. You’re making him uncomfortable.”

“What? I was just asking. I bet he’s already taken. A handsome guy like you can never be single. OUCH!” Kyungsoo steps on his foot next.

“Whatever. Baekhyun, don’t listen to him. He’s always erted like this. Anyway, have you guys heard on Kris’ boyfriend? I heard that Tao is out for a business trip overseas and is cheating behind Kris’ back!” Luhan brings about a hot gossip, attracting the attention of the others.

“OOOHHH SNAP! I foresee drama in the future.”

“Not to mention, heart break. As much as I love seeing those two, but if Kris finds out about this, they’re O-V-E-R, over!” Minseok shakes his head in disappointment.

Baekhyun just blinks as the conversation turns into a discussion.

“That is why I never trust my lover to go overseas. It’s a whole new world out there, and you may never know what will happen,” Luhan speaks out quite loudly, stating his opinion.

That puts Baekhyun into a still.

No. He will never. No.

Right?

“But you have to trust your partner for a successful relationship, right?” Baekhyun’s sudden participating in the conversation puts everyone to silence.

“Well, yeah but you can never be too sure. Sure he/she loves you with the force of a thousand red suns, but feelings can change. Heck, it can change even when you’re with them, much less when you’re out of sight. It’s only nor-”

Before Luhan could finish his sentence, Baekhyun stands up and head towards the toilet.

He suddenly feels sick.

He locks himself into one of the cubicles and sits limply on the toilet. He hates himself right now.

He hates himself for even thinking what he’s thinking at the moment.

Chanyeol would never cheat on him, right?

Curse you, Park Chanyeol, for being good looking. Now he’s having insecurities and he has never felt this inferior before.

Baekhyun spent the whole lunch hour sobbing in the toilet.

-

6 months has passed since Chanyeol’s departure and Baekhyun is feeling better than ever.

At least that’s what he’s trying to delude himself into thinking.

For the past months, he overexerts himself at work. Always working overtime and by the time he’s finishes, he’d be too tired to even do anything.

That’s what he wanted. A distraction.

He didn’t even have the time to think about his lover, but when he catches himself doing so, he’ll slap himself mentally and concentrates on his job.

The once healthy Baekhyun turns into a walking skeleton. The fact that he exhaust himself and skip meals is affecting him very negatively.

His co-workers notices the drastic change of behaviour and tries hard to pry Baekhyun into telling them what’s wrong. Only to be answered by a weak smile and an okay sign. Very assuring.

Nothing and nobody can stop him.

Upon seeing Baekhyun’s weak and slowly shrinking body,  Kris orders him to take a break or he’ll sack him of this job. Leaving with no choice, he obeys obediently.

It is a Sunday morning and Baekhyun is already regretting his leave. Laying on his bed, he tosses and turn for a comfortable position.

After what seems like forever, he sits up and rubs the sleep away from his eyes.  Jumping off the bed, his foot suddenly lands on something hard, making him groan in pain.

He squats down to see what did he just stepped on and bolts back up in surprise.

It’s a picture frame with Chanyeol’s picture on it.

He gathers the broken pieces and thank God the glass didn’t break.

How did it get there?

Revelation hits him hard in the head as he sits down at the edge of his bed, picture frame close to his heart.

He’s been neglecting himself and his surrounding too much for this past month that he didn’t realise that all this while, a picture frame of his beloved has been broken to pieces.

God knows how long has it been there, neglected. Baekhyun feels like he has betrayed Chanyeol and a familiar pain creeps into his heart.

Don’t misunderstand, Chanyeol. I still love you, please forgive me.

He cries to himself for the first time in 4 months. All the bottled up feelings, the feelings that he’s afraid to express echoes with every sob.

He hates this. He tried so hard to contain himself from being this way, only to put his effort to waste by his stupid fragile feelings.

He hates Chanyeol for not being here to comfort him.

Being a sobbing mess, he retreats to his bed yet again, frame still held tightly.

Baekhyun-ah

Stop messing with my head, Chanyeol. Isn’t it enough that you already ruined me physically. Now you’re trying to take away my sanity?

Baekhyun-ah, please

Stop it. Make it stop.

 Baekhyun shuts his eyes tightly to fight the voices in his head.

Why are you like this, Baekhyun-ah?

He sits up, and before he could scream his lungs out, he feels an arm wrapping around his chest and pulling him into a chest he’s all too familiar with.

Thinking it is all in his mind, he refuses to open his eyes and breaks out into another painful sob.

“Why do you have to feel so real?” he says to himself out loud.

“It’s because I am,” and that resonating deep voice answering back shocks Baekhyun to the deepest core.

Quickly opening his lids, he spins around and kisses the man behind him without any thought.  The kiss returned with much ease, which turns the kiss into a passionate make-out.

Baekhyun’s hands exploring every inch of the body that he misses so much. Everything seems so surreal that he’s afraid it might be a dream and he would wake up soon.

 Chanyeol is the first to break the kiss and holds Baekhyun firmly on the shoulders. Eyes not leaving his lover’s at all.

“What happened to you? Why didn’t you tell me?” Chanyeol’s voice cracking at the sight of his now skinny beloved.

Fidgeting, face lowering, Baekhyun stays in complete silence. Refusing to answer the question.

Chanyeol pulls Baekhyun into a hug. The hug that he’s been craving and yearning for.

“I missed you.”

Baekhyun then burst into a loud cry in Chanyeol’s embrace. Letting his feelings out for the first time in front of him, breaking his strong facade that he’s trying to potray to him.

Chanyeol pats his back gently, cradling the sobbing Baekhyun. He kicks himself for doing this to his boyfriend, and he’s glad that he made the right decision of leaving overseas to come back home.

“It’s okay now, Baekhyun-ah. I’m not going to leave you alone anymore,” he whispers in Baekhyun’s ears.

“What about your studies? I really don’t want to get in the way of you and your dream, Chanyeol-ah,” Baekhyun chokes out in between sobs. He really doesn’t.

“I’ve settled everything already, don’t worry. It was an agonising 6 months without you, and I don’t want to through that all over again, ever.”

Baekhyun sobs louder, but this time out of joy. He just can’t contain his excitement and squeezed Chanyeol harder.

Everything is falling into pieces and is just, perfect.

“Chanyeol-ah.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”



-

A/N: I like one-shots okay.