The Butterfly and the Falcon
The Butterfly and the Falcon
They send him to a hospital about twenty minutes away, since the one on base isn’t specialized enough to treat his injuries and they don’t want to take any chances, not since it’s Suho.
Kris is the one that pulls all the strings to allow Kyungsoo to take time off work to visit him. The higher ups don’t know about their relationship, but Kyungsoo and Kris both agree that it’s dangerous to deal with patients when his mind is so distracted. He’s thankful to Kris, as someone he barely knows, for being so helpful.
Suho spends an awful lot of time sleeping, thanks to the drugs. He has a nasty bruise around his right eyebrow from the impact and the majority of his right shoulder and back are covered in partial thickness second degree burns; it’s only thanks to his clothing that it wasn’t any worse.
They say that the thing that’s causing him the most pain is the burn, especially when it’s exposed to the air. That’s why, three days later, he’s still on intense pain killing medications that either have him sleeping for hours on end or giggling uncontrollably at the simplest of things.
Of course he prefers the giggly or sleeping Suho over the one who muffles sobs into his pillow because the effects of the drugs are wearing off and the pain is just too much for him, but he’s constantly in a state of shock and upset that this even happened in the first place, that Suho’s going through so much and he hasn’t even been released into active duty yet. It’s so scary, Kyungsoo thinks, that this is his future. This is only the beginning of a lifetime of fear and hurt.
It’s the first time he realizes that love can be as painful as it is happy.
The fifth day after the accident, Kyungsoo is a little late, showing up a good two hours after the public visiting hours started. At first he was angry that Baekhyun never woke him up when his alarm failed, but he figures he needed the rest. He’s fallen asleep next to Suho way more times than he’d like to admit, and he’s missed way too many of those awake moments where Suho’s at a somewhat normal enough state to actually communicate with people.
When he walks into the room, Suho is sitting straight, propped up against three or four pillows, holding a magazine up to his face so he doesn’t have to bend his neck to look at it. Kyungsoo chuckles quietly to himself when he realizes that the magazine is a hospital-created one made specifically for pregnant women, and he makes a mental note to stop at a store and get him some better reading materials on his way home.
Suho lowers the magazine and offers him a smile. Kyungsoo’s slightly taken aback—he looks so much better than he did the day before, his eyes alert and shining, his cheeks flushed, a one up from the deathly pale shade his skin has been ever since the accident.
Kyungsoo releases a shaky breath and pads over tentatively. He takes hold of Suho’s hand when it’s offered, presses his lips against each knuckle.
“I was hoping you’d show up soon,” Suho’s voice is still a little shaky but at least he can form words now. Kyungsoo nods his head apologetically and drops Suho’s hand so he can take a seat on the edge of the bed.
“How are you feeling?” He asks. Suho places the magazine on the bedside table and shuffles a little closer. Kyungsoo can’t help but notice the quiet gasp he releases as he moves—so it still hurts, he thinks sadly.
“Good. Now. All I wanted was to see your face and now you’re here.”
“Junmyeon…”
Suho shakes his head and takes hold of Kyungsoo’s hand again, this time making it clear that he doesn’t want to let go. “I’m so glad I met you,” he says like he’s stating a simple fact of life. “I love you. And I hope you don’t want to leave me even if this burn scars…”
“Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo laughs, even though he can feel tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. “Is this the drugs talking? Of course I’ll never leave you. Even with an ugly scar you’d still be the most beautiful person I know.”
Suho closes his eyes and hums happily. “I have these thoughts even when I’m not on drugs,” he explains. “So it shouldn’t matter. But yes. Drugs. Talking.”
“Okay,” Kyungsoo says. Suho wriggles slightly on the spot, and then giggles at the oddly shaped fold his movement created in the bed-sheets. “I’ll stay with you forever. As long as you promise not to die in active duty.”
“I told you I’m too good to die,” Suho chastises him. “Listen better, okay?”
“You said that, but then this happened,” Kyungsoo points out.
“But Kyungsoo,” Suho sighs. “You don’t understand. I did that on purpose, you know? Because Kai is like my brother. I love him. I didn’t want him to die too.”
Kyungsoo swallows thickly and looks away. He’s purposely been evading all thoughts of Kai, because he didn’t want to get angry or upset in the time that he spends with Suho. But now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen Kai once, neither at the hotel nor on the base. He’s half glad that he’s staying away, but also half angry—after everything, he doesn’t have the decency to at least apologize?
“I know what you’re thinking, Kyungsoo…” Suho whispers, his grip tightening around Kyungsoo’s hand. “But please don’t hate him. He didn’t want to hurt me.”
-
He finds Kai a few days later, sitting in a lawn chair in the now empty section of the hanger that used to hold Suho’s plane. He doesn’t even notice that Kyungsoo has entered, which is kind of odd, because all he’s doing is staring at the opposite wall.
Kyungsoo drags a stool over and takes a seat next to him. He’s been preparing for this moment for the past 48 hours, but he’s still not exactly sure what to say.
Kai clears his throat and tilts his head to the side. It looks like he’s gained at least ten years of age in the past week, and Kyungsoo finds it very upsetting that someone so young has had to go through so much already.
“You’re sad too, aren’t you?” Kyungsoo whispers. Kai closes his eyes and presses his lips together tightly, swallowing thick to stop himself from crying. He wishes Kai would cry, though, because he’s not entirely sure he’s forgiven him entirely yet, and maybe that’s all it would take. “Why did you do it, Kai?”
“Why?” Kai asks harshly. “Why did I do it? This isn’t what I wanted, Kyungsoo. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“I don’t mean that,” Kyungsoo says carefully. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt him.”
“Then what…” He exhales, letting his voice trail off as he leans back in his chair and stares at the ceiling. “No. No one gets it. Suho doesn’t get it. It’s not just about him. I wish he wouldn’t act so confident that my feelings for you are purely because of the… rivalry. Between us. It’s not.”
Kyungsoo sits silently, scared to reply, because he knows he won’t say the right thing no matter what. Kai’s breathing is shaky, and his knuckles are white as he grips the handles on the chair. Kyungsoo looks away; feeling like this is something private he’s not supposed to intrude on. Kai at his most vulnerable.
“Can you not talk to me anymore, Kyungsoo? Or, can you do something horrible that will make me fall out of love with you? Because even now, after everything that has happened, I still don’t want to give up on you. It’s… it’s not fair. It’s not healthy. Please make me hate you.”
“I don’t want you to hate me,” Kyungsoo breathes. “It’s selfish. I’m sorry. But please… you were so good to me. I want to be your friend.”
“I don’t know…” Kyungsoo allows himself to look at Kai just in time to see the tears dripping slowly from his eyes into his hair. It feels like his heart is shattering into a million pieces, then, and it’s almost like the accident has happened all over again. “I don’t know if I could handle it.”
-
seofjeiowrj okay
two more chapters after this.
I wanted to yell at you all lol (in a good way) like SUHOOOOOOOS FIEN HE'S FINE THIS ISNT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT BUT MEH
I guess not all of you follow me on twitter so you wouldn't know
but I'll tell you now!
currently I have three (maybe four) sequels planned for this, and the next one I'm working on is the taoris sequel.
Not all of them are related to air combat, but yes, they're all related to this war and all of the characters will become inter connected somehow.
yar
okay.
I'll give more info with each chapter I post now okay? :3
I love you allllllll <3 thank you so much for all the support.
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