“Jjongie.” Jinki said softly, gently shaking his eldest son. Jonghyun blinked tiredly, looking up the appa with sleep-heavy eyes.

“De?” He mumbled. Jinki smiled softly.

“Do you still want to meet my date?” He asked.

Jonghyun nodded, not completely sure what he was agreeing to. He scooted closer to Jinki, resting his head on the elder’s thigh and closed his eyes again. Jinki hadn’t been sure Jonghyun would want to do anything, and he was relieved when the boy agreed so easily. After his nap with Taemin the day before he had slept a bit restlessly through the night, and as a result Taemin, Key, and Jonghyun had all been a bit cranky through the morning.

Jinki had eventually demanded that they go take a nap, but not before letting Jonghyun know that there had been no way to reschedule the exam without him failing. Jonghyun had promptly climbed into Minho’s bed without another word, and three hours had passed since then. Jinki’s fingers went to Jonghyun’s hair, fluffing it up softly, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“You need a haircut, buddy.” He said, his voice soft.

“You need a haircut.” Jonghyun mumbled back, and Jinki laughed.

“Come on, Jjong. Time to get up.” He said. The boy in question shook his head.

“Five more minutes.” He whined. Jinki rubbed his back gently.

“Jjongie, come on.” Jinki said softly. Jonghyun huffed, wrapping his arms around Jinki’s waist  to keep him where he was. A warm pillow was the best kind, and Jinki radiated heat. The appa laughed, shaking him gently. “It’s time to get up.”

“Aniiiii~” He whined.

A moment later, his bedroom door opened. Key and Taemin stood in the doorway, taking in the scene they had stumbled upon with amused expressions. They remained silent as they shared a look, then made a beeline for the appa, tackling him onto the bed. Jonghyun jumped out of the way before he got squished, then grinned and jumped up to join in on the pig pile while Jinki tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

“Guys, guys! I can’t breath!” Jinki choked out, shoving gently at whoever was on his chest. It took him a moment to recognize the colorful form as Key, and he quickly changed his approach, spidering his fingers across the boys side. He all but leapt off of the appa, landing on the soft bed, and the other two were too busy laughing at Key to prevent the appa from lifting them both and tossing them on the bed. He pointed down at them, laughing even as he tried to put on a stern face. “Get dressed.”

Taemin was half on top of Jonghyun, one arm draping over Key as they continued to giggle. Jonghyun suddenly reached up, wrapping his arms around Taemin and hugging him tight. It was something he had taken to doing since the morning when he found out he would have to return to the school the next day. He would just pick a person and cuddle them, or hug them tightly, and tell them he loved them. It actually bothered them a lot, not because of the affection, but because it seemed like Jonghyun thought he had to act this way. He had even sent Minho a picture of himself, blowing a kiss and telling him how much he loved him.

Taemin’s arms came back around Jonghyun, and Key wormed his way in, too. He hugged them both, and Jinki swallowed as he watched the exchange. He had a lingering feeling of doom, mostly residing in his stomach, that he just couldn’t shake. Key and Taemin slowly pulled away from their hyung, letting him sit up and stretch. He slid off the bed, going to his dresser and pulling out some clothes. Key got up a moment later and tugged the shirt he had picked away from him before picking a different one. The elder didn’t complain once, instead just changing into the clothes the diva had picked for him.

Once they were ready and in the car, Jonghyun began spacing out. He stayed in his own world as they drove to the mall to meet up with the woman they had all wondered about. Key reached forward and ruffled his hair, and he smiled absently. He loved his family - the man he had come to know as his father, the two boys in the back seat he had come to call his brothers, and his boyfriend.

He remembered the panic that had set in, thinking that Minho would break up with him, and he shook his head slightly. He didn’t know what he had been thinking. They were in love, and he was certain nothing would change that. Even when he wondered if he was gay, and Minho had sat with him as he tried to come to terms with the possibility, he knew it really didn’t matter. He didn’t want a guy. He wanted Minho, and that was all that mattered.

He seemed surprised when the car stopped, and he looked up at Jinki as he turned the key back and pulled it out. They all released their seatbelts and stepped out of the car into the bright sunlight, and Jonghyun had a smile on his face. For today, at least, he wanted to push out his anxiety, his fears, and just make a good impression. If this woman made his appa happy, then he would try his hardest to like her as well.

When Jinki raised his hand, though, and waved to someone in the distance, Jonghyun instinctively stepped closer to him. Jinki didn’t even glance down as he wrapped his arm around Jonghyun’s shoulders. Within moments they were standing in front of a very pretty girl, and Jonghyun felt shy. Apparently, Key and Taemin were feeling the same, because they barely got out ‘hellos’ as Jinki introduced them to Luna. Key had his arms around Taemin as Jinki’s arm slid off of Jonghyun’s shoulders to greet her with a small kiss. Jonghyun moved closer to Key and Taemin, not comfortable with being so close to her yet.

They went into the mall after a minute or so, and it didn’t take long for Key to come out of his shell. He was pelting the poor woman with questions, while maintaining his place between her and the other two boys. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but Jinki’s ex wife had had no issue putting her hands on Key, and he wasn’t about to let some random girl go after Jonghyun and Taemin.

“Do you have kids?” Key asked. Luna shook her head.

“I never found the right person.” She admitted. Key studied her for a quiet moment.

“Does that mean you’re looking for someone to have kids with?” He asked. Jinki’s arm came around Key’s neck, his hand pressing over the boys mouth.

“Kibum.” He said, his tone warning. Key huffed, pulling away as he went to Taemin’s side. Jinki looked back at Luna with an apologetic expression. “I wish I could say he’s not usually like this, but...I’ve told you stories. He’s exactly like this.”

“What’s wrong with me?” Key asked, looking slightly offended. Jinki sighed.

“There is nothing wrong with you. You’re just a little more...open than most people, and you know it.” Jinki said. Key grinned, shrugging.

It was a minute later that Taemin stopped walking, looking around with a confused expression. Jonghyun, who had been walking along beside him up to that point, had vanished. Key was pulled to a stop as well, being connected to Taemin’s hand, and after a few more steps Jinki and Luna stopped, too. Jinki realized what had upset his youngest right away, and his hand released Luna’s as he turned and headed back down the wing, his steps quick and his heart pounding.

Key and Taemin took off after him, and Luna followed behind them. Jinki was the first to spot the unique head of hair that belonged to his eldest, and the boy seemed frozen as he stood in front of the pet store window. Jinki jogged over to him, his arms going around Jonghyun automatically. Jonghyun jumped slightly in surprised, peeling his eyes away from the Roo look-a-like in the window to look up at his appa, who looked so relieved Jonghyun actually felt guilty.

“Don’t do that.” Jinki reprimanded him softly, and Jonghyun turned in his grasp, hugging him softly.

“M-mian appa.” He said. “I got distracted.”

“I know.” Jinki said, sighing. “It’s fine, but please don’t scare me like that again. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you. Any of you. Arasso?”

“Arasso.” Jonghyun said, nodding. “I love you, appa.”

“I love you, too, Jjongie. Now let’s go, ok?” Jinki said. Jonghyun nodded again, and Jinki released him. Key grabbed his hand right away, his expression stern.

“Don’t do that again.” He said. Jonghyun nodded, lowering his head. He hadn’t meant to scare them. He just saw a dog that looked so much like Roo, and it floored him. He couldn’t pull his eyes off of her, and as a result he had stopped moving.

“How about we go get dinner now?” Jinki suggested.

The boys nodded, and Luna took his hand as he led them out to the car. Jonghyun, who was used to sitting in the front, seemed a little surprised to see Luna going toward the front seat. He redirected his footing before she noticed his original intent, though, and went around the car before sliding into the back behind Jinki. Key sat behind Luna, and Taemin settled himself comfortably in between the two elders.

The restaurant was crowded when they arrived, and Jinki looked over at his boys with a concerned expression. They seemed fine, though, and they followed a waitress to an empty table. Light conversation filled the air, even as Jonghyun sat as far into the booth as he could get. Jinki seemed relieved that they were all opening up to Luna, and Luna seemed to enjoy their company almost as much as he himself did. He was certain no one else would ever be able to feel the same joy he felt with his sons, but he was willing to let Luna try.

They made it through dinner without any mishaps, and Jonghyun had even laughed a few times. Key and Taemin were animatedly babbling away at Luna, and she seemed to understand there was no real need to divide her attention between the two of them. They were so close together that the attention washed over both of them, and on the rare occasion Jonghyun spoke up he got the full attention of everyone at the table. By the time Jinki suggested that he and Luna go up to the dessert counter to give the boys a chance to relax, he was feeling confident that the night was going well. Key and Taemin had a different plan for their short time alone with Jonghyun, though.

“What’s been going on with you?” Key asked, and Jonghyun’s eyes found the table quickly as he shrugged. Taemin rubbed his arm gently.

“Come on, Jonghyun.” Taemin said softly. “We just want to know so we can help. You’ve been fine all day, but what are we supposed to expect when you get back tomorrow?”

“I’ll be fine.” Jonghyun said, trying to stop the conversation. He didn’t want to think about Sangho, or the exam. He didn’t know what the next day would bring, but it wouldn’t be anything good, that he was sure of.

“Jonghyun, you come back worse and worse each time.” Key said, not letting it go. “Are we going to have to fight you tomorrow?”

“No. Can we drop it?” Jonghyun asked, his tone pleading. Key shook his head.

“Not until you talk to us.” Key pushed, and Taemin started shaking his head at Key. He was going to push it too far.

“Leave me alone.” Jonghyun said, his tone changing, becoming darker.

“Jonghyun-” Key started, and the eldest blew up. He wanted to have fun. He didn’t want to be stressed out or upset, but Key just couldn’t drop it.

“LEAVE. ME. ALONE.” Jonghyun shouted, and silence fell quickly on the restaurant. Jonghyun’s eyes widened suddenly, and he looked at Taemin with a guilty expression. “I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s fine.” Taemin said softly, then looked pointedly at his boyfriend. “Let’s just stop talking about it now, ok?”

“De..” Key agreed, looking shaken.

Jinki, who had been about to order, jumped when he heard the sound of Jonghyun’s raised voice. He glanced at Luna apologetically, then ordered quickly before taking off toward the table his kids were at. Luna was following behind him, though not moving as quickly, and she watched with no small amount of admiration as Jinki shooed Taemin and Key out of the way. He pulled Jonghyun up off the seat, and upon seeing how upset the boy looked, he turned to Key.

“We talked about this.” He said, his tone gently reprimanding. “Come on, Kibum.”

“M-mian...appa...” Key said, holding onto Taemin. Jinki shook his head.

“We’ll be back in a few minutes.” Jinki said, gently leading Jonghyun outside. The boy seemed nervous and upset, and when they stopped outside of the restaurant, he was shaking slightly. “Alright. What happened?”

“Key just...he kept asking me what was going on at school, and I didn’t want to talk about it.” Jonghyun said. “I wanted today to be a good day. I’ve been trying really hard, and I don’t want Luna to think we’re crazy or something. I know you like her a lot, and I don’t want us to scare her away. If she doesn’t like us, then she won’t stay with you, and I want you to be happy.”

Jonghyun had tears in his eyes as he spoke, and Jinki pulled him against him, hugging him tightly. If Taemin and Key were his trouble makers, then Jonghyun and Minho were his peace-keepers. It was easily said that those two tried too hard to make sure everyone else was happy, and it broke his heart to see the pressure they would put on themselves to make sure things were perfect. Jonghyun squeezed him tightly.

“I know we’re all a little messed up, but if we try hard enough then maybe she won’t leave.” Jonghyun said, his voice trembling. “You deserve to be happy, appa.”

“I am happy.” Jinki said softly. “I’ve got you guys. I don’t need anything else to be happy.”

“That’s not true.” Jonghyun said, his tone low. Jinki’s grip on his son loosened, and his eyes met Jonghyun’s as the boy leaned away from his appa. “If it was, you wouldn’t be dating. You need someone you don’t always have to watch and worry about in your life. So you can relax, sometimes.”

Jinki was absolutely stunned by the words coming out of Jonghyun’s mouth. He couldn’t completely deny Jonghyun’s claims, and that added a layer of guilt onto his conscience that he really hadn’t anticipated. He Jonghyun’s hair softly, not sure what to say in response. He knew he had to say something, though, because Jonghyun’s eyes were dangerously close to b over.

“I like her a lot.” Jinki said, nodding slowly. “But if I had to chose between her and you, you would win. Every time. And I would never regret it, ok?”

“Ok.” Jonghyun said, nodding. His eyes remained puddley, though, and Jinki knew they weren’t out of the woods yet.

“What’s really bothering you?” Jinki asked, and Jonghyun reached up to wipe at his eyes.

“I don’t want to go to school anymore.” Jonghyun admitted softly. Jinki’s eyebrows went up. “I know I don’t have to anymore after tomorrow, but that doesn’t make going tomorrow any easier, and Minho’s not here to make it better. I know you guys try, but it’s not the same. I just want to stay home all the time, and thinking about going tomorrow...it’s just really hard. I didn’t want to think about it anymore, and I wanted to have fun today, but Key-”

“Is a brat.” Jinki said, nodding. Jonghyun snorted a little at that comment, then nodded.

“Yeah.” He said, the smile not leaving his face. “He is.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Six page chapter. Get ready for Sangho, because he’s back and worse than ever in the next chapter.

Also, I’m going to be moving to another state on Saturday (I know I posted something just like this a few months ago on Finding Home. My mom doesn’t like to stay in one place for long.) so my updates may fall short.

The upside is that my live-in ex-boyfriend is moving out :D

I’ll try to either write the next several chapters to get through the angst/horror that will be coming and post them all before I lose my internet, or not update again until I’ll have the time to get everything on a schedule. It’s about to get rough, guys.