Jonghyun was a mess. He was sitting beside Key on the couch, looking as though he had barely slept. His hair was a mess, sticking up in about a million different directions, he had dark bags under his eyes, and even his clothes were wrinkled and slightly slobbish looking. Key was looking him over with a concerned expression, as were Taemin, who sat in the armchair, and Jinki, who was standing in the empty doorway leading to the stairs.

“You’re not going.” Jinki finally said. Jonghyun looked up at him with huge eyes.

“But-” He started, and Jinki shook his head.

“No.” He said firmly. “Look at you. You need to go back to sleep, not go take a test. You’re just going to have to wait until your anxiety improves, ok? You’re in no shape to take that test.”

“Appa-” Jonghyun started, and Jinki held up a hand.

“No.” He said, and Jonghyun felt himself growing frustrated.

“But, appa-” He tried again, and Jinki looked at him with a very serious expression.

“I said no, Jonghyun.” Jinki said firmly. “You just need to wait until-”

“It’s not going to get better!” Jonghyun practically screamed. Jinki’s eyes widened in surprise. “It’s never going to be fixed! I just have to deal with it! I need to go take that test to prove that I can...”

Silence fell after that, and Jonghyun found himself counting in his head, trying to calm down. Key and Taemin shared a quick glance, then turned their attention to the appa silently. Jinki himself was in a small state of shock. Jonghyun had gotten upset enough to yell a few times in the past, but never at someone in their family. It was always the therapist, the doctor, the obnoxious neighbor girl who tried to flirt with him - never family.

“Jonghyun...you don’t need to prove anything to us or anyone else.” Jinki said softly. Jonghyun shook his head, his expression still angry.

“I have to prove it to myself.” Jonghyun said. Jinki sighed in defeat.

“Fine. But let Key help you with your wardrobe, ok?” Jinki requested. Jonghyun nodded, and Key grabbed his hand, tugging him up the stairs and into the bathroom.

The transformation took maybe ten minutes, and when Jonghyun came back down with Key his hair was brushed out and styled into a faux-hawk, he had on black skinny jeans with a red top, and the bulge of his cellphone, which he had still yet to turn on, was visible in his pocket. Jinki spun his keys on his finger silently for a moment, and sighed before going into the kitchen to look for something, anything, he could feed Jonghyun. He finally settled on a pastry, and brought it out silently.

“Kamsahamnida.” Jonghyun said softly, taking it. It was obvious he felt bad about yelling, but he didn’t mention it, and neither did anyone else.

The car ride to the school was uncomfortably silent, and Jinki was beginning to wonder if he had done the right thing by relenting. When he stopped the car in front of the school Jinki pulled out a few single bills and handed them to Jonghyun, then took his phone and put it in the center console. Jonghyun got out of the car slowly, hesitating before finally closing the door and heading toward the building. When he heard Jinki’s car pulling away, however, he stopped to watch him go until he took a corner and vanished from sight.

He took a minute to look around, almost expecting Sangho to jump out at him at any second, but he only saw other kids around his age coming to take the test. He headed into the building with some slight relief, and headed over to the vending machine right away. There was a short line, but it moved quickly enough and he had his juice and nuts after only a few minutes, then headed down the hall to the exam room. Once he was actually in his seat, and the test was open and in front of him, he relaxed, filling in the answers easily and quickly.

When he finally reached the end of the exam he was glad to see he still had twenty minutes left, and took his time going through and triple checking his answers. He only ended up changing one, but he was satisfied when the teacher called time and began collecting the books. He sipped at the last of his strawberry juice while he waited to be released, and when the teacher finally opened the door, he found himself hesitating at the back of the crowd.

No one had been mean or rude to him, but no one had spoken to him either, and so he didn’t want to get caught up in the swarm. Once he decided it was safe to go out, he made his way out to the hallway. He stopped at a water fountain to fill his now empty juice container, and he just about jumped out of his skin when he felt someone touch his arm. He turned quickly, wishing he could have been at least slightly surprised when he was met with Sangho’s smile. He wanted nothing to do with this man...why wouldn’t he just go away?

“Did you read the letter?” He asked pleasantly. Jonghyun swallowed hard, nodding in discomfort. “And was the address on it?”

“D-de. On the back.” Jonghyun said, looking around for someone, anyone to help him out of this impossible situation. He didn’t want to have nightmares again tonight. It was getting to be too much.

“Ah, that’s good.” He said, nodding. Jonghyun looked out towards the front door, hoping to see Jinki’s car. He was disappointed to find the space empty. “What? Are you in so much of a rush to get away from me? I just want to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” Jonghyun said, shaking his head. Sangho sighed.

“Your appa’s got you brainwashed.” He said, his smile gone. “Have you written back to your mother at least?”

“Ani. I don’t want to.” Jonghyun said.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. She loves you very much. Don’t you love your mother?” Sangho asked. Jonghyun shook his head.

“I don’t know her.” He said firmly. Sangho’s face darkened.

“Your appa will never have to know. You can just give it to me on Wednesday, and I’ll send it to her.” Sangho said seriously. Jonghyun glanced back at the door, still seeing no sign of Jinki. Where was he? “Hey. Look at me, we’re talking.”

“I don’t want to talk to her.” Jonghyun said, feeling very small suddenly. Sangho grabbed the front of his shirt and leaned in close.

“Listen to me you ungrateful little .” Sangho growled out. “You’d better write your mother a goddamn letter and show some respect for your elders, or you’re going to seriously regret it.”

He released Jonghyun roughly, not seeming to care when Jonghyun hit his head on the wall behind him. Sangho’s expression was one of disgust as he watched Jonghyun look around desperately for someone who might save him. What kind of young man couldn’t defend himself? It was ing pathetic.

“Stop being such a baby. Seriously, any other kid would want to rebel, and you’re just cowering away in your daddy’s shadow.” He said, his tone mocking.

“Leave me alone.” Jonghyun said, but it sounded more like a plea than a demand. Sangho’s fist hit the wall behind Jonghyun’s head a moment later.

“Come on, kid, grow a pair!” He all but shouted in Jonghyun’s face. Jonghyun was shaking all over now, and he was beginning to wonder if he had a chance at running. “Pathetic.”

Sangho shook his head and began walking away, and Jonghyun felt like he was going to collapse. He swallowed hard, his shaking hands unable to grip the bottle of water anymore. He jumped about a foot in the air when it hit the floor, but he continued to watch Sangho until he was gone. He bent and picked up the water bottle, then hurried outside just as Jinki was getting out of the car to go look for him. He ran right to him, his arms going around Jinki’s waist as he squeezed tightly.

“Appa...” He mumbled, even as Jinki pet his hair with a concerned expression.

“Are you ok?” Jinki asked softly. Jonghyun started to nod, but shook his head instead. “What happened?”

Jonghyun didn’t answer. He couldn’t - if he did everything would come spilling out, and he didn’t want them to know. He clamped his mouth shut, pressing his face into the appa’s shoulder silently. He knew there were still people lingering around outside, but he didn’t care. In all of his life he couldn’t remember a single time someone had yelled at him like that, never mind being physically handled in such a way. He didn’t know much of anything at that point except that he wanted Jinki to stay with him and keep him safe, at least for the day. He was terrified of what Wednesday would bring.

“Jonghyun, what happened?” Jinki asked again, and Jonghyun shook his head, tears coming to his eyes and down his face in a matter of seconds. Jinki squeezed him gently. “Alright, alright. Do you need me to stay home?”

To say the appa was surprised when Jonghyun nodded would be an understatement. He nodded slowly, then brought Jonghyun to the car, watching him get in and buckle himself with shaking hands. He went around to the drivers side and put on his own seatbelt before pulling out his cell phone. Jonghyun slowly reached for his phone in the center console as Jinki explained to his boss that something had come up and he wouldn’t be able to return to work that day.

Jinki hadn’t been surprised to find his boss sounding relieved when he called out. Jinki had been working for a long time and never took sick days or vacation days, never mind emergency days. The company was getting ready to issue a demand that he take some time off, so if Jinki called in once in a while for any reason at all, they really didn’t didn’t mind. He closed his phone and put the car in drive, heading toward town to pick up some lunch for everyone as Jonghyun turned his phone on and read through all the texts Minho had been sending him.

‘Are you feeling better?’

‘I hope you sleep well. I love you.’

‘Good morning Jjongie~!’

‘Are you ok?’

‘I tried calling. Is everything ok?’

‘I talked to Appa...he said you’re having a hard time. You know I love you, right?’

‘Jjongie, please answer me. I miss you.’

‘I love you.’

‘You’re my world, don’t forget, ok?’

‘Good luck on your test today. I know you’ll do well!’

Jonghyun wiped at his eyes miserably. He wanted to call him back, but once again he recognized his inability to keep things to himself. He opened a reply text with shaking fingers, even as Jinki pulled through the drive-through at a chicken restaurant. Jinki glanced over, about to ask Jonghyun what he wanted when he saw he was actually using his phone to reach out, and decided to keep his mouth shut and just order.

‘Minho...I miss you so much. I can’t wait for you to come home on Friday. Until then, study hard, arasso? Saranghaeyo. <3’