“Whoa, what’s wrong with you?” Tao asked as I stormed through them after school.
 

They quickly followed behind and I heard Lay say, “Do you really even have to ask?”

After I crossed the street, I slowed down my pace and allowed the others to catch up. “What happened? I thought Baekhyun didn’t come to school today,” Kris said. I was a little upset that they automatically assumed that my emotional tirades always had Baekhyun to blame (Even though they usually did). It wasn’t like my whole life revolved around him. Okay, so maybe for the past few days it did…

“He showed up in Chemistry because he didn’t want to let me work on it alone,” I grumbled.

“Uh, what’s wrong with that?” Chen asked.

“He told me not to fall in love with him and then he goes and shuns me for the rest of the day,” I complained. Okay fine. You can indirectly tell me that you don’t like me, but don’t go ignoring me like I’m some annoying pest. I am a person with actual feelings.

“Wait, why did he tell you not to fall in love with him?” Kris inquired.

“I don’t know. Is it obvious that I’m in love with him?” I said without proper thinking.

“You’re in love with him?!” Xiumin asked.

“I- No, that- Uh- That came out wrong,” I stuttered out. I instantly brought my hands to my face and began rubbing my temples. There was no way I was going to get out of this one.

“Hey, you’ve finally accepted your feelings towards him,” Luhan said with an encouraging shoulder touch.

I shoved his hand off of my shoulder. “I don’t love him,” I sneered. “I meant to ask if I came off as, uh, loving him?”

“I believe the terminology you used was ‘in love’,” Lay brought up. “There’s a huge difference between loving and being in love.”

I rolled my eyes. “It doesn’t even matter. He obviously doesn’t want anything more than friendship, so I’m just going to close off all these stupid feelings and forget about it.” I quickly walked ahead of them and headed straight home, feeling their worried stares pierce into my back.

I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep as soon as I hit the soft surface. I had set an alarm at 7 knowing that I could easily sleep through the evening and end up having a sleepless night.

The sound of SHINee’s latest hit blasted through my phone’s speakers as I struggled opening my eyes and almost blindly turned off the alarm on my phone. The brightness of my phone had caused me to start seeing spots. I watched as my phone went black and waited for my eyes to adjust and for the grogginess to go away.

As the drowsiness slowly faded away, I looked through my phone, stalling the process of getting out of bed. I accidentally opened up my pictures folder instead of Twitter and I was faced with the picture I had taken earlier in the day. As I was about to delete the photo, Baekhyun’s address glowered at me and I couldn’t believe I was actually contemplating going to his house. I tried to shake the thought away, but the thought of Baekhyun quickly flooded my mind and I quickly became irritated. Why did he lead me on if he didn’t want a relationship?

I felt aggravated and I wanted to tell him off. I wanted to slap him in the face and question his stupid actions. I hated to admit it, but I just wanted to see him. And the only way I could do that was if I went to the city.

I found directions to his house on my phone and tossed it onto my bed as I rummaged through my closet. I wanted to make sure that I at least looked decent when I told him off.

I settled on a simple, casual black dress and threw on a jean jacket since the sun was setting. I threw on a pair of flats and grabbed my purse and phone and headed out of my room.

“Where are you going?” . I’d acted so rashly that I didn’t even realize that I’d have to get past my grandmother.

“I’m just going over to Chen’s. Kris is having girl problems and it would probably be best if they got help from a girl.” I easily lied. I felt guilty lying to my grandma, but my feelings toward Baekhyun at the moment were so much stronger than the guilt.

“Oh, alright,” was all she said. The guilt continued to eat away at me. Sometimes I believed that my grandmother trusted me too much.

I walked out the door and looked to back and forth to both houses checking if the guys were outside. When I noticed the coast was clear, I quickly jogged to the bus stop.

When I got on the bus, there were a few people on it that I didn’t recognize. They were probably from the town a few miles before ours. As we got closer to the city, a few people got on the bus at each stop and I immediately regretted my outfit decision. I crossed my legs tighter and kept my gaze low as I felt the stare of erted older men on me. Luckily they didn’t try to hit on me and I was able to make it to the city intact.

My eyes lit up in awe as I stepped out of the bus. It was around 8 o’clock and the sun had already set. The buildings in the city glimmered in the night sky. I had been to the city before, but never at night time. The beauty was a lot to take in. Someone shoved past me, taking me out of my gaze and I quickly remembered what I was there for.

Baekhyun’s house was in a fancy neighborhood adjacent to the city. It was merely a block away from the edge of the city. But to get to his neighborhood, I had to pass through a narrow alley-like street that was hardly lit by any street lights.

Taking a deep breath, I quickened my pace and hoped nothing bad would happen. I was halfway through and I could see the high end residence just ahead of me. I could already see three story homes lined next to each other and my mouth fell open in awe. The houses were nothing like the simple one story ones back home.

I heard footsteps close behind me and I realized too late that I should have paid more attention to where I was. I was slammed onto wall and I felt strong hands propped on my shoulders. I shut my eyes tight, fearing the worst. This is it, I thought. I’m going to get killed right here.

“What are you doing here?” the person slurred out. The person reeked of alcohol and it only worried me more. People could be so much more hostile when they were drunk. I peered out of my right eye to look at the person and both of my eyes immediately shot open. Although it was dark, the dim street lamp above was enough for me to detect who it was.

“B-Baekhyun?” I stammered. I was rendered clueless to everything that was happening. Why was Baekhyun drunk in the middle of some sketchy alley?  

“What are you doing here?” he repeated with a harsher tone. “You shouldn’t wear such a short dress in the city at night time. That’s dangerous,” he said peering down at my attire. “Why would you be dressed like that over here?” he pondered, before a knowing look came upon his face. “You came here for me didn’t you?” He took a hand off of my shoulder and slammed it against the wall next to my head when I didn’t answer. “I thought I told you not to fall for me…” he quietly muttered.
 

It was then, when I realized what I was there for in the first place. “Why?” was all I was able to squeak out of my mouth. I wanted to say so much to him, but I was so afraid of him at the same time.

“I’m dangerous,” he said, bringing his face closer to mine. “I can hurt you,” he barely whispered. I shivered as I felt his hot breath on my lips. “I don’t want to hurt you.” I felt a shudder run down my spine as he carefully traced his hands down my body. He placed them at the small of my back and pulled me close to him. Our bodies were pressed against each other. I placed my hands on his chest, wanting to push him away, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

He placed his forehead on mine. “You don’t want to get hurt, do you?” he quietly asked. I lightly shook my head, maintaining eye contact with him. “That’s what I thought,” he said. I felt his hands about to remove themselves from me. I didn’t want him to let go.  I didn’t want to let him go.

Acting only on reckless impulse, I pulled his head down by his neck and roughly kissed his lips. I smirked as his hands remained on my back and pulled me in tighter. I felt myself melt into his arms as he kissed back. This was it. This was what I wanted. I never wanted it to end. He pulled away, making a loud smacking noise from our lips. “Don’t do this,” he said before I kissed him again. “Please.” I didn’t want him talk. “You’re making this so hard for me.” I shut him up once again with my lips. If he protested it so much, why did he kiss back? He pulled away again and spoke softly. “I’m going to hurt you.” His gaze was no longer bloodshot. It was sincere and meaningful. And it only made me want him more.

“I don’t care.”