The next morning, Henry opened his eyes to the sight of Kyuhyun sitting on bed, legs folded and arms wrapped around them while his head was buried in his knees. Who knew how long he was sitting in that position. He came closer to Kyuhyun and hugged him. The latter was startled, he was engrossed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Henry approaching him.

”Ah Henry, you’re awake” He gave him a small smile but Henry knew better, he knew it was a fake one

”hmm, are you feeling okay?”

Kyuhyun didn’t bother to answer that because hell no, he was not okay. He hesitated for a second and asked 

“Henry can you do something for me?”

“Sure hyung, anything”

“Can you gather the other members? I wanna talk to all of you”

Henry’s eyes widened, he was getting worried yet curious at what his friend was up to

”Hyung, what is it about?”

“Just do it Henry, please?”

“Okay. We don’t have a schedule until afternoon, so all of them should be downstairs. I’ll tell them”

Even though Henry wasn’t feeling good about the whole gathering, but he would do anything to get Kyuhyun out of his current situation.

...

At the living room

Eunhyuk, Ryeowook, Sungmin, Zhoumi and Henry were gathered in the living room waiting for Kyuhyun to start talking. They were all curious about what he wanted to tell them. They could feel that something was going on since Kyuhyun was a mess. He had black bags under his eyes that indicated that he hadn’t had any sleep the night before and his usual fair skin was pale.

Kyuhyun didn’t know where to start from, but he knew he had to. He had been thinking about his decision the whole night and he wasn’t gonna back out on it.

It was Eunhyuk who broke the silence “Kyuhyun-ah, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

Kyuhyun took a deep breath before the next words came out of his mouth

“I’m taking a break from the group”

Kyuhyun was looking at the ground, avoiding the questioning and shocking looks of his hyungs, and before they started showering him with questions he added

“I know it’s sudden, but I already talked to Teukkie hyung and asked him to talk to the management. They were against it at first but I convinced Teukkie hyung who convinced them. I need time for myself to think some things through”

...

The Night before
Even though Henry thought that Kyuhyun fell asleep, he apparently didn’t. Kyuhyun was just tired from all the crying, that his eyelids felt heavy. They couldn’t stay open anymore.

So when Henry laid him on bed, he couldn't drift to sleep. His mind rewound everything that had happen after the accident. He felt sick to his stomach when he thought about the way Siwon treated him like nothing happened, when in fact he almost died because of him. He remembered how Siwon suffered after the surgery, how his family cried for several nights at the sight of their only son lying lifeless on a hospital bed. He couldn’t help but to feel he was responsable.

And the members, as much as he wanted to see the good side about lying to him, it just didn’t make any sense to Kyuhyun. He thought he deserved to feel guilty. He deserved it because even if Siwon got into in accident himself, he would still be the blame for it because Siwon wouldn’t be in Seoul in the first place if he hadn't called him and whined about how much he missed him.

These thoughts made his tears flow down his face once again. His eyes started to sting.  He felt his heart breaking and his throat getting sore from all the sobs he held back as to not wake Henry.

He came down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He was relieved that no one was there because he wasn’t ready yet to explain what he was feeling at that moment. His feelings were all mixed up. He sat on the kitchen counter, poured himself a glass of water and stayed there for about an hour just absorbed in his thoughts. Then he made his decision …

...

He didn’t care that it was three in the morning, he just wanted to get it over with. He picked up his phone and dialled Leeteuk’s number.

Leeteuk: ”Kyuhyun-ah, is everything okay?”

Kyuhyun: “Hyung sorry I’m calling this late but I need to talk to you about something. Can you put me on camera please?”

Leeteuk was tired as he stayed up late rehearsing for some dance moves with Yesung and Heechul, but the maknae calling him at that hour and asking to talk, was something unusual

Leeteuk: “Of course … Here you go. WoW what happened to you?”

Kyuhyun: “It’s just the lack of sleep”

Leeteuk: “Yah maknae, I live with you. I know how you look like when you don’t sleep and I also know how you look like when you’ve been crying!”

Leeteuk sure was the omma of the group, he knew every single detail about his Dongseangs.

Kyuhyun: “H-Hyung you should’ve told me…”

Leeteuk: “Told you what?”

Kyuhyun: “About the accident”

Leeteuk was taking aback, he knew that one day Kyuhyun would remember but he wasn’t expecting to be then. At three in the morning and they were only talking on the phone. He hoped when Kyuhyun gets back his memory, he would be there with him. They would've talked face to face, that way he would explain better. He would make sure to tell him that it wasn’t his fault.

Leeteuk was looking at anything except his phone screen

Kyuhyun: “Hyung! Why did you lie to me?”

That question made Leeteuk look back at his phone straight into Kyuhyun’s eyes. He didn’t lie to him, well he did but it was for his sake. It wasn’t counted as a lie, but a white lie.

Leeteuk: “Kyuhyun-ah, I-I didn’t lie to you … well you can’t call it a lie because it was for your own good”

Kyuhyun snapped back: “How was it for my own good hyung? ha? It was because of ME, that Siwon got into an accident. Because of ME, he was in a coma for a week. Because of ME, he almost died! And I didn’t even know anything about it! So tell me how was it for my own good? ha? ”

Leeteuk: “Because you would’ve acted this way. This is exactly why I didn’t want you to know! You would’ve felt that it was your fault …”

Kyuhyun cut him off: "But it WAS my fault”

Leeteuk: “Kyuhyun-ah, listen to me. It was NOT your fault, do you hear me? NOT your fault! You didn’t even know Siwon was there. It was those damn brakes fault”

Kyuhyun fell silent for a second, no matter what Leeteuk said he still believed it was his fault.

Leeteuk: “Did you talk to Siwon?”

Kyuhyun: “NO, and I don’t want to. How can I face him? No hyung, I can’t”

Leeteuk: “Kyuhyun-ah, please listen to me…”

Kyuhyun: “Hyung, anyway I'm not mad anymore. In fact, that’s not the reason I called. Hyung, I gave it a lot of thought and it would be for the best, for all the members”

Leeteuk: “What are you talking about? What would be the best for the members?”

Kyuhyun avoided looking at his phone screen and instead was focused on his hands that were getting sweaty from all his nervousness. 

“I decided to take a break from the group”

Kyuhyun said it in one breath, if only he could've seen the look on his hyung’s face. It was inexplicable. His eyes widened and tears were already starting to form in his eyes. It's true that Leeteuk didn’t approve of Kyuhyun joining the group at first, but after he got to know him better, Kyuhyun became his favourite dongseang. That was why, the idea of him leaving the group brought pain to his chest.

Leeteuk: “Kyuhyun-ah, what are you talking about? Are you out of your mind?”

Kyuhyun: ”Hyung, I already thought it through. Nothing and no one can change my mind”

Leeteuk: “Is this about the accident? Kyuhyun-ah I told you it wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry we lied to you, we thought it was for the best. Please Kyuhyun-ah, don’t do this”

Kyuhyun: “It hurts hyung, it really hurts. My heart keeps aching and my mind keeps rewinding the accident. I want to believe that it wasn’t my fault, I do. But I can’t help it hyung. Because of me all of you suffered, twice. First was my accident and now this. I can’t take it anymore. My heart is torn out hyung, do you have any idea how much I love Siwon? Do you have any idea how much I cried when he was at the hospital when no one was around? Hyung I’m tired, I really am. You guys are my second family that’s why I’m doing this. I don’t want you to suffer because of me anymore and I’m tired of feeling guilty all the time, I really am” Kyuhyun poured his heart out to his hyung, the feelings that he didn’t even know he was feeling came trashing out of his mouth. His tears were so innocent that they left Leeteuk also in tears.

The older felt bad. How could he let his maknae suffer like this? How did he not know about these hidden feelings? He’s supposed to be their leader!

Leeteuk: “Kyuhyun-ah, stop crying please. I can’t see you like this. You’ve already been through so much pain. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to stop that. It’s just ... you have to understand me, I love you and I don’t want you leave us. But if you think it’s what's best for you, then I’ll stand by you no matter what. But you have to know that this is not a wise choice ... How long will your break take?”

Kyuhyun: “I-I don’t know hyung”

Leeteuk: “This doesn’t mean you’re leaving for good, do you hear me? You’ll be back soon for the 6jib. There’s no album without you, arasso?”

Kyuhyun: “Hyung, can I leave it for you to talk to the management?”

Leeteuk: “Hyung will take care of it don’t worry, I’ll try to convince them”

Kyuhyun: “And hyung, can you please not tell Siwon yet? I wanna be the one to tell him”

Leeteuk: “Sure, but you have to do it soon. Bad news travel fast, and I know he will be upset if he heard it from someone else”

Kyuhyun: “Thank you hyung. Thank you so much. I knew you would understand me”

Leeteuk: “Even though I don’t like your decision, but I love you and I can see you’re suffering. I’m just sorry that I’m not there for you”

Kyuhyun: “You are Hyung, you are” Kyuhyun assured him with a smile and Leeteuk could see it was genuine.

...

After their tears dried out, they said goodbye and hang up. But neither of them could go back to sleep.

Kyuhyun went back to his room, he sat on his bed and started thinking of a way to break the news to the other members and most importantly to Siwon. He knew he was going to get scolded but it had to be done.

The morning came and Kyuhyun was still lost in thoughts until he got a call. It was from Leeteuk. He was nervous because he knew it was about the management but the news that Leeteuk got him, made him a bit relieved.

The first thing Leeteuk did once the sun rose, was meeting with Sajanim Lee Soo-man to talk about Kyuhyun’s situation. And after a lot of explaining and pleads. Leeteuk finally managed to convince him but on one condition, that he would get back to his activities in six months. That’s all he could get. Just in time for their next album.

Would he forgive himself? Would his guilt disappear? What about Siwon? What would happen between them? Those were the questions that were flowing in Kyuhyun’s mind at that moment.

...

"There's no way Teukkie hyung agreed to this!" Eunhyuk was clearly irritated. He didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. Eunhyuk once said that his happiest moment was when the maknae joined Super Junior, and he meant it. Kyuhyun litteraly saved the group.

Even though Eunhyuk always got teased by Kyuhyun, he loved him. He and Donghae were very close to Kyuhyun, and Siwon of course. The four of them are always hanging out together. Eunhyuk couldn’t imagine Super Junior without his little maknae. That's why he wasn't going to accept it.

Kyuhyun didn’t feel like repeating what he said to Leeteuk that morning, he was tired of crying. And just remembering his feelings made him sad. He stood up from the couch he was sitting in. He clenched his fists to stop the tears that were threatening to come out and said 

“Hyung, this is final. I’m sorry” he then stormed out of the living room, leaving the members shocked and even more confused.

Siwon … How am I going to tell you this? Better yet, how am I even going look at you? Kyuhyun thought on his way to his room.

Sorry guys for the late update, i've been busy with my studies.
This chapter is so sad, but L&G is coming to an end soon and so the happy ending is around the corner :P Only a few chapters left ^^
Thank you so much for all the comments, they are really my motivation.