Annyeong ^^

OMG, I'm so sorry for not updating for more than a week, I was really busy T_T and I'm sorry to say that I won't update until next monday because I am on my finals and friday is my prom and saturday is my ''after prom'' and sunday is my cousin's birthday and.... OMG!!!! Any way, I'll try my best to write another story soon!
And I'm sorry if this story isn't good... I kind of wrote it quickly so if it's ty, I'm sorry T_T please don't murder me! and please give me some feed back! Even if you don't like it, constructive feed backs are always good ^^

One last thing, I know I have a tendency to ... ''kill'' Mir XD if you want an happy ending next time, let me know XD because yeah... poor Mir XD

p.s. thanks to those who commented, and to those who read it ^^ I love you all ^^

Enjoy ^^

Oh and the song is ''Run'' from Snow Patrol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ll sing it one last time for you

Then we’ll really have to go

You’ve been the only thing that’s right

In all I’ve done

I was sitting in the doctor’s office for only 5 minutes but it felt like hours. My whole body was shaking and all I could do was praying. Praying that it wouldn’t be something terrible. There was a huge mirror on my left so I looked at myself for a few seconds. I didn’t look that sick, so why have I suddenly fainted during our rehearsal? I was still trying to find something wrong with me when the doctor came in. I turned around to look at him but he avoided my sight, which I took as a bad sign.

‘’Mr. Bang?’

‘’Y-yeah?’’

‘’Please take a seat…’’

I sat in front of him and waited until he took out my tests results.

‘’The tests are clear. You have leukemia at its final stage. You only have about a month to live.’’

He continued to explain what were the treatments available to make the rest of my short life better but I wasn’t paying attention. The word leukemia was resonating in my head. I was going to die in a month and there was nothing I could do about it.

____________________________________________________________

I returned to the dorms after my meeting with the doctor. As soon as I opened the door, three familiar faces run toward me.

‘’Mireu! Are you alright?’’

‘’So, why did you fainted, what happened?’’

‘’Ok guys, let him enter first…’’

I sighed, relieved that SeungHo was here to control GO and Cheondung. I took a look around but couldn’t find Joon anywhere.

‘’W-where’s my boyfriend?’’ I asked our leader calmly.

‘’He was worried sick so he went to practice.’’

It was a good thing that he wasn’t there. I wasn’t planning on telling him. I didn’t want to make him suffer and to see me like I would look like in not long. I breathed deeply and told them:

‘’Guys. I have leukemia. I’m going to die in a month. There is no hope…’’

Everybody was shocked. GO fell on his knees and silently repeated that it was impossible. Cheondung started to cry and yelled at me to stop lying to them and SeungHo stood there, devastation in his eyes.

‘’P-please don’t tell anything to Joon.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because I don’t want to be a burden for him. I’ll just break up with him and go to the hospital until…’’

SeungHo hugged me and promised that they wouldn’t say anything, since it was my last wish…

And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do

I know we’ll make it anywhere

Away from here

Not long after everybody had calm down, we heard the door opening, letting a sweaty Joon enter. I had been packing some things to go to the hospital, where the doctors could control my sickness. He saw me and pulled me in a hug.

‘’Mireu! Thank god, you’re here! So, what do you have? Are you going to be ok?’’

I didn’t hug him back. Instead I slightly pushed him away and stared at the floor.

‘’M-mir? Why have you packed your things?’’

I bit my lower lips to try not to cry and I said the words I never thought I would have to say.

‘’Joon…I’m breaking up with you. And I’m going away. You’ll never see me again. Goodbye…’’

I quickly left the dorms while he was still in shock. I ran and ran until I finally arrived at the hospital where I would be pass the rest of my life. I followed a nurse to my new room and I unpacked my things. The last thing I installed was a picture of me and him, at the park for our first date. I knew that what I did was the best for both of us. He wouldn’t suffer because of me and I wouldn’t feel like a burden for him. We would be both happier that way. But why was I crying so much?

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I’ll be right beside you dear

Time had passed since I learned I had cancer. There was not much time left. Maybe a day or two, I don’t remember exactly. Every morning, when I’m not too tired, I go to the bathroom and take a look at myself in the mirror. I don’t even know how I made it to the bathroom this morning, since I was really weak, but I did. I wished I hadn’t. I looked so ugly, as if someone had all my blood out of my body. My once cheerful eyes were only two dark lines in the middle of my face and I didn’t even had one hair on my head.

‘’At least, Joonie hyung can’t see me like that…’’

And just when I was thinking that, my room’s door opened violently and an angry Joon started to yell at me.

‘’Yah! Where are you hiding Bang Mir?! YAH!’’

I quickly locked myself in the bathroom and fell on the floor. He probably heard me closing the door because 2 seconds later, he was banging at it.

‘’Yah! Did you think they wouldn’t tell me? And why didn’t YOU tell me in the first place, huh? Do you hate me that much? You wanted me to always wonder what had happened to you. Are you THAT cruel Mireu? Answer me, damn it!’’

‘’I… I don’t hate you Joonie…I still love you…’’ I whispered as tears were rolling down my cheeks.

‘’If you love me, why didn’t you tell me? WHY?’’

‘’Because I…’’

‘’Yah! Open the damn door!’’

Without really knowing why or how, I opened it.

Louder, louder

And we’ll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can’t raise your voice to say

Joon didn’t even reacted when he saw how ugly I was, so I explained everything.

‘’I’m sorry Joonie… I thought… I thought you would forget me and that it would be easier for you if I just disappeared… But mostly, I didn’t want you to remember me as something as ugly as this… I’ve been selfish…Please forgive me…’’

I was waiting for him to continue to shout at me, to tell me I was disgusting. Instead, he hugged and kissed me softly before whispering in my ear.

‘’You’re still the beautiful Mireu I’ve fall in love with.’’

And my tears started to flow even more intensely as I hugged him back.

To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbye

I nearly do

‘’Sorry, hyung! Sorry for lying to you!’’

‘’Shh, it’s ok baby. Everything’s going to be ok!’’

‘’No, nothing is going to be ok! I’m going to die in maximum two days! How in the hell is that suppose to be ok!’’

I suddenly felt weak and if I hadn’t been in Joon’s arms, I would probably have fell on the floor again. But he grabbed me and took me to the bed where he installed me. He sat next to me and caressed my cheek.

‘’I’ll always love you Mireu. No matter what, I’ll always love you.’’

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I’ll be right beside you dear

‘’I…I don’t want to go away like that hyung. Not now!’’

‘’There really isn’t any hope that you recover, huh?’’

I shook my head and looked straight in his eyes.

‘’Hyung… I’ll always be beside you. Please keep me in your heart and I promise I’ll always look after you.’’

‘’Don’t worry, baby. I’ll never forget you.’’

Louder, louder

And we’ll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can’t raison your voice to say

I knew it was selfish to ask to keep me forever in his heart. He deserved the best. But I just couldn’t tell him to forget me, to love somebody else. Any way, he was young and one day, he would surely found someone who will take my place in his heart. And when that day comes, I would be up there, watching over them both, even if it would hurt like hell. But for now, I wanted to change my mind, to be happy.

‘’You know Joonie… I have maximum 48 hours left. And that is if I’m lucky…’’

‘’Well then, let’s make this day be the best day of your life!’’

Slower, slower

We don’t have time for that

All I want’s to find an easier way

To get out of our little heads

He pressed his lips against mine and he promised to come back quickly before leaving me alone. He did came back only an hour later, but I was so afraid that he wouldn’t that I had cry for the entire time.

‘’Don’t leave me again, hyung!’’

‘’I’m sorry, baby… But look at what I brought!’’

He had brought a transportable DVD player with my favorite movies and also some games. I smiled and decided to start with the games, as I could still sit. I fought my tiredness the longest I could and when I couldn’t stand it anymore, we watched a movie. It was really simple things that we made but it was one of the best days of my entire life. I realized it wasn’t because of what we had done, but simply because I was with Joon that I was that happy. I wondered if he felt the same way as me and it made my heart ache to know I wouldn’t live another day like that. However, I didn’t want to worry Joon so I concentrated on the movie, still fighting to not close my eyes.

Have heart my dear

We’re born to be afraid

Even if it’s just for few days

Making up for all this mess

When the sun set down, I felt more sleepy than ever, but I didn’t want to sleep. I was afraid to never wake up again. Joon saw that I was tired and he lay down beside me, passing his left arm under me so I could lay on his chest comfortably.

‘’Sleep, my angel. It was a good day with you today.’’

‘’But what if I don’t wake up tomorrow?’’

I have to admit I was also afraid that if I did wake up he wouldn’t be there and I would be alone again.

‘’If you don’t wake up, you’ll see from the sky that I’ll be beside you, hugging you as much as I can until the nurse come and force me to go away from you.’’

Just with those little words, I was reassured. He kissed the top of my head and I smiled before falling asleep. And as I thought, I never woke up in the morning.

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I’ll be right beside you dear

When Joon woke up the next morning, he waited a bit for his love to wake up too. He didn’t take a long time to realize that the boy in his arms wasn’t breathing anymore. The man took a last look of his love as a tear rolled on his face.

‘’Goodbye, my love. Please wait for me from where you are now…’’

He kissed one last time the little boy and exited the room. That was the last time Joon ever saw Mir. But the young man knew that his angel would always be near him, even though he couldn't see him.