As I enter into our new house, the last box secured in my arms, I watch as my children run in, pushing me, not the least concerned about me or their mother. I try to stop them, but my words only cannot control these little monsters of mine and since my arms are occupied with something else, my three monsters take that opportunity to explore their new house.

I let out a sigh, which don’t go unnoticed by my wife, judging by the way she smiles at me before stealing a kiss from me, and I can’t help but smile back. And it makes me wonder what my life would be without her.

The only problem is, I know exactly what my life would be without her. What my life could have been. What it should have been.

Still smiling, I tell her I’ll go upstairs to unpack some things and, unaware of what I’m really going to do, she nods at me before chasing after our kids, probably to try to calm them.

I quietly climb the stairs to our new bedroom, silently sit on the large bed that’s in it and open that last box I had in my arms, surely the most important box for me. I pick the first thing on top of the pile of old things contained in it. A picture of us smiling, playing into the tall grass of the hill we used to go when I used to go there.

‘’Mireu-ah...’’

The name escapes my lips in a short breath, making it sound plain, dull even, and I remember when I used to say it with so much love, it almost sounded like an ‘’I love you’’ when in fact, it was just a name. His name.

A name I will never forget.