Part One

Only For Today

Part One

I don't know why it had to end like this. But I know one thing for sure. That if I hadn't fallen in love with you, I wouldn't feel a need to leave you. But it didn't work out that way. Good bye, Jung Daehyun. I'll miss you, even though I know you won't miss me.

The rays of the low sun hit my eyes as I leaned on the rugged walls of my best friend's apartment. 6pm, and here I am, in dark blue jeans and a plain black shirt, listening to Himchan-hyung who was busy criticizing my 'brash' decision about leaving the country.

"All I'm asking for is today. Only for today. Then I can leave with no regrets," I said tiredly, wary of the argument that Himchan-hyung kept bringing up. Why couldn't he accept and support me in my decision of leaving like Yongguk-hyung, Jongup, and Zelo have? I smiled a little, thinking how funny he looks whenever he goes into umma-mode. I guess it's because he cares.

"Well, you wouldn't have a need for 'only today' if you just stayed. Youngjae, please stay. Please? You're leaving everything you've known behind only to go to some random place you barely know about! You're being irrational and rash and you know it!"

"Himchannie-hyung, I've thought about this enough, and I know I'm going. It's time for me to get on with my life. I've been offered a scholarship to a good school in the U.S. so why not take it?"

'I know for a fact that your scholarship offer isn't the only reason you're leaving, Youngjae. Don't deny it, I know it's Daehyun. You've been offered lots of scholarships here in Korea, but you decide to choose the one in America? That's a load of BS you're giving me. Why don't you confess? If he's really your friend he'll still accept you!"

I sighed heavily, knowing I wouldn't get him off my case so easily. "Hyung, you know I'm not going to do that. I don't want to risk ruining our friendship after seven years of being best friends, okay? I'm fine with holding onto my feelings, they're stupid anyway."

I pushed myself lazily off the wall and made my way to Daehyun's door. Three loud knocks and I waited for him to open up. The line grew silent and I wondered if he was still there on the other end. Or if he had grown tired of trying to convice me? I wouldn't blame him.

"Your feelings aren't stupid. Youngjae, I still don't get it. Why would you willingly leave him? Don't you love him?"

"That's exactly the reason. Hyung, I love him but he doesn't love me. The guy's straight from what I know and he certainly wouldn't have feelings for his gay best friend. I've accepted the fact long ago that best friends is all we've ever been. All we ever will be. It , I won't deny that, but that's reality. I would rather see him one last time, happy, than burden him with feelings I know he won't return. I'd rather that when I left, things would be forgotten as it is right now, with everyone happy."

"You're not," he retaliated. Muffled footsteps shuffled to the door and I took that as my cue to end the call.

"Hyung, I have to go. I'll see you later," without even waiting for an answer, I dropped the call and turned to see the smiling face of the sandy-haired person at the door. The first thing I'll miss, his smile that never failed to brighten my day.

"Wanna come in?" I gave a brief nod and walked in, his barely present scent lingering in my nose. "Jeez, I haven't even given you permission and you waltz in here? Where are your manners, Yoo Youngjae?" he punched my arm playfully and I shoved him away. He laughed while closing the door and I plopped myself onto his couch. Second, his laugh that always manages give me butterflies in my stomach. Cheesy, I know, but that's how it is.

"Whatever, Jung Daehyun. You know you love me," I gave a smirk but in my mind, I hoped pathetically that he would say he did, even though I knew the obvious answer.

"Nope, not at all. In your dreams," my smile faltered a bit as his words tore at my heart and I know he noticed when his eyebrows crinkled as he stared at me. "Hey, what's up? I've noticed a lot that lately you haven't been your usual sarcastic, over-the-top happy self. What's bothering you?"

You. And the fact that I love you but I can't have you. Was what I wanted to say, but instead, "Nothing, I'm tired, that's all. Entrance exams, you know?" came out of my mouth. I gave him a slight smile and he shrugged before turning away. I forced myself to brighten up, today's supposed to be happy, so I'll forget the trivial thing called unrequited love. There's no need to ruin our friendship with something that stupid. I gave an attempt to switch to my usual self, but I was only half succeeding.

"Okay, but I'll always be here when there's a problem." No, you won't, I disagreed in my mind. "Give me five minutes, I'll be ready soon."

"So slow."

"Shut up," he barked before disappearing into his room. I took the chance to scan his haimish apartment for the last time. He's a person of simple taste, you could easily tell that the moment you walked into his apartment. His place was modern in style, metallic hues clashing on the walls, a plain black couch in front of the flat screen T.V. and a small but neat kitchen. Simple. Just like him. I barely even noticed him getting out of his room until he spoke, snapping me out of my thoughts. Remember Youngjae, that he spots changes in expression easily. Be careful about your feelings. I told myself.

"Okay, let's go."

"Took you long enough."

Daehyun scoofed while heading to the door to put on his shoes. I followed in sut and we both walked out of his apartment, with him turning quickly to lock it, and headed straight for the parking lot downstairs.

"So, where we going?"

"Well, I was thinking the amusement park.." his face instantly paled at the mention and I burst out laughing at his expression. He glared at me weakly but I only continued. "Don't worry, we won't go on any scary rides," he sighed in relief, the color going back to his face. Third, the cute but hilarious expression he shows whenever I mention amusement park. "Coward," I muttered and he glared at me once again from behind his sandy-brown bangs.

"."

"Well, my is very nice, no? So I'll take that as a compliment."

"There's just no end to your smart-aleck comments, is there?"

"Of course not. Haven't you learned that by know?" we made it to the parking lot downstairs and Daehyun opened his car door.

"Whatever you jerk. Get your in my car before I decide to leave without you, Youngjae."

I chuckled, knowing that I'll be able to leave him in a happy state, even though I wasn't so sure if I would be the same. But that's alright. As long as he's happy, I'll be fine. Just...Fine. I'm starting to get tired of that word.

"Fine fine, so bossy."

"Only with you because you're so..so..Youngjae-ish."

"Mhm, great comeback, Daehyun," he scowled before stepping on the gas and muttering incoherent things that I couldn't piece together. A silence filled the car, and I drifted into my own thoughts while staring at my hands.

Why did it have to be like this? Why did I have to love him? Everything would be so much simpler if I didn't. We could continue being best friends until we were wrinkly prunes with white hair, but no. I decided to like him, which turned at some point into love. I'm such and idiot for even letting it go this far. I should've dropped this feeling before it grew, but I was a hopeless idiot and didn't. I looked up from my palms and studied the person next to me. His sharp jaw line, the way his hair fell messily over his chocolate eyes, his plump pink lips that I could only dream of kissing. He was so perfect. Way too perfect for a person like me, who could only wish to be with him as something more than a friend.

"What're you staring at, you creeper?" his smooth deep voice snapped me back into reality and I mentally slapped myself for losing control of my feelings like that. Another reason I'm leaving. I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending that I don't have feelings for him. I won't take anymore chances.

"Nothing. Just admiring how ugly you are," I joked.

"You know, if I weren't driving, I would have shot you already."

"Nice to know. Now shut up and continue driving quietly."

"No."

"Stop being difficult and be quiet."

"I'll push you into a fountain later, so be prepared, Yoo Youngjae," he warned, his dark brown eyes not leaving the road in front of him for even a second.

"Not if I get away from you first."

"Just try, you'll regret it."

"Oooh, I'm scared. I'm so scared I'm shaking."

"Damn you, Youngjae." Our drive continued on like this the entire way through, even until we reached the entrance. Fourth thing, the way we always argue like an old married couple. I can only wish we were one. And for that split second, I almost decided against leaving. Almost. I continued my happy facade for both his sake and mine and pointed at a random ride.

"How about we try that weird boat thing over there, Daehyun? You see? Yep, that one right there, the one with the boat moving back and forth with people screaming in both delight and absolute terror."

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"No dear, of course not..."

"You evil person."

"Mhm, so would you like to ride the carousel?"

"..."

"Silence means yes," before he could complain, I grabbed his smooth hands and ran over to the carousel, the moment we got there, I reluctantly let go of his hand, immediately missing the comforting warmth. He complained for a bit, saying he wasn't a child anymore and that he was already 18, but I shut him up in the end. Next, we went to the arcade, playing random games until the sun disappeared from the sky.

"Let's go to the ferris wheel, okay? I love that ride," he requested. And I complied to his simple wish.

"Sure."

---

Wow, This was really long...The story's not finished yet! I'm sorry, I originally planned this as a one-shot but I guess it will be a two-shot now..Please comment and tell me what you think! It's not that good, I know, I'm not really pleased with myself...On another note..Thank you to my subscribers! I'm really happy you subscribed!!! Sorry if I disappointed you, though. I hope you look forward to the next chapter, even though this may have been quite boring..Thank you for reading~

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ToneHarmonic
I decided to make a sequel! I hope you all don't mind..^=^

Comments

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Re-green #1
Chapter 2: It's like... some things left open. I want to know really what Daehyun thought...
Still this was good :)
blackjong14 #2
Chapter 2: Sequel please ?
smiles1471 #3
Chapter 2: What kinda endding was that? My poor heart author - that was just cruel!
Jpd0824
#4
Chapter 2: I dont know why but this made me ball up and I started to cry... it's one of those kind of endings that tug at your heart... and long for more
Jpd0824
#5
Chapter 1: awww too cute =] Youngjae and Daehyun... but the sad longing idea that Youngjae's leaving and moving to the US...
SweetPenguin08
#6
Chapter 2: i think it should not end here..daehyun..he called out for him in the park..he should have listen..omo..i won't take this as the end..
FlameFlowerful
#7
Chapter 2: Ah.
Wow.
Your angst is so amazing i can't ;A; OMG.
kitty_k4t
#8
Ok I'm sitting here crying... that's all...*sobs
YoungjaesBrain
#9
WHY YOU KEEP MESSING MA FEELS :'(
Himchan's born to be a mother ><

Okay..... Tissues... quick quick... FASTER! I need to rush to the sequel with a dry face!!!! /.\