1 Cardiotocography (CTG) machine is an electronic form of foetal heart rate monitoring. A trace of the foetal heart rate and maternal contractions is obtained.

2Centre hospitalier universitaire (CHU) de Toulouse: Toulouse University Hospital.

3service d'oncologie: Oncology Ward (Cancer Ward).

    Amber has always liked silence. No matter what circumstances it is, she prefers keeping closed and rested unless she needs to speak. And even though she exceptionally likes to listen to some people’s voice (some people refers to Paris, to be precise), she favours quiet.   But she’d like to think otherwise at this particular moment. The moment where Myung Soo is gritting his teeth, his hands gripping hard on the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road ahead, his brows furrowed in concentration. The radio is off and the windows are closed. The only sound that fills the space every now and then is the distanced sound of their engine on the road and their breathing.   Tension crackles in the air. Despite the air conditioner, Amber finds herself sweating. She is not even in pain or physically disturbed. In fact, she feels nothing. Actually, she is on the verge of crying. The silence around her and inside her womb, the guilt, the confusion, and the fear weigh down on her shoulders. She doesn’t even realise she is hunching down until she feels the breathlessness and her aching back.   But it’s safe. It’s supposed to end up like this. It’s not the , it’s something else…   She had gotten dressed and put a pad on before waking up Myung Soo who was in a deep slumber, having calmly told him that she was bleeding and the baby wasn’t moving. Myung Soo’s eyes snapped open, sleepiness out the window when the words registered in his mind. She had expected him to panic and bother her with questions and censure, but what she ended up with was Myung Soo, face undreadable, telling her to get her antenatal card or whatever it is that she needs for pre-natal checkups before changing into casual clothes. She almost jumped when he slammed the house door close.   She isn’t used to this Myung Soo. It’s like his emotions have been locked away somewhere inside him, hidden away from other people. But Amber is not other people. Despite how much she loves tranquility and serenity, she misses the Myung Soo who bothers her with questions about her day, who disrupts her peaceful days with his random actions and conversations, but most of all, she misses his laugh, his gleaming eyes as he smiles at her, and just his voices that filled her days in Paris. But now, she is reminded of the Myung Soo who almost killed the man who assaulted her at the warehouse.   She follows him blindly to the Emergency Department where they are immediately sent to the Delivery Suite and welcomed by a young midwife who introduces herself as Eun Ji. That’s what Amber grasps before she tunes out again as they are directed to an empty room, which she doesn’t recall. When she finally breaks down, she finally realises that she is already on the bed with a strap around her abdomen connected to a machine which she already knows without looking as the CTG1.   Despite the hiccups and the embarrassment she feels, she is indisputably glad when it seems to snap something inside Myung Soo and he is sitting on the bed in front of her in a heartbeat, his hand caressing her wet cheeks and his eyes attempts to search for hers. He helplessly begs her to stop crying and whispers apologies again and again. She could feel the rising panic in his voice and trembling hands, but that doesn’t make her stop.   Her heart clenches and her head throbs. Myung Soo takes her into his embrace and she buries her head at the crook of his neck. He does the only thing he could think of; the expanse of her strained neck and rubs her back soothingly. He exhales a sigh of relief when she melts into his touch and the trembles on her shoulder slowing down.   “You’re not going to touch me again, are you? It’s my fault, isn’t it?”   Myung Soo gapes at the woman clinging to him before pulling away and making her look at him in the eyes. Where on earth did you get that idea from? “What? No! Why would you think that? I—”   “Because you look angry from the moment we left your house until we got here. You wouldn’t even look at me.”   Amber looks like she might just start crying again from the way her lips tremble. He cradles her head in his hands and gives her a soft, passionate kiss. It’s slow and chaste because he wants Amber to realise that he thinks no such thing and that it’s completely the opposite. He pulls back when he needs air and rests his forehead against hers. Her eyes are still half-lidded when he looks at her again.   “I’m angry at myself, Amber.” His entire face heats up when they get back to the main point of the matter. “I shouldn’t have done it- It’s my fault! And I’m so sorry! I can’t forgive myself for putting you in this state.”

 

He swallowed the pill and washed the glass before going back to his room. He rolled his eyes when he sees Uncle Lee walking into the kitchen. He planned on ignoring the man, but what he said aggravated him.   “I’ve told you before that whatever happened to her, it’s on you. It still applies, Myung Soo.”   “Uncle! Why don’t you give it up already?! Hyun Ah doesn’t even want to marry me anymore!”   “Yes, she doesn’t! But that’s because she is sick!” he growled. “If it wasn’t because of her, Hyun Ah would have been happier! Knowing this, don’t think that I’m going to let that woman go like that!”   Myung Soo’s fists clenched by his side as he glared at him. “Stay away from her!”   Uncle Lee smirked, “I’m not going to promise that with her living under the same roof!”   “I’m not going to stand back like ten years ago!” Myung Soo exclaimed. “Don’t you dare!”   With that, he turned around and went back to his room, waiting for Amber to come out from the shower.

 

“But I wanted you to take me hard!”   His eyes widen and his face feels even warmer at her straightforward manner. She fists his shirt and gazes down at her lap, but he catches a glance of the adorable blush that colours her cheeks.   “We haven’t done it for a while. I just want you to love me. I want to feel you loving me.”   Her grip on his shirt tightens and she brings her head even lower to hide her red face. It takes Myung Soo a moment to get back his senses following the surprise of Amber’s confession. Not once has she ever said, in the past, such an open and honest thought about their life. Breathing a little bit harder, he grabs her face again and leans down to press his lips to Amber’s in a hard, hot, and bruising kiss.   Everything she does just makes his love for her grow and at this moment, he wishes for her to know how much he loves her, although a kiss is not enough. He is expecting just the same short, chaste kiss like before, but before he knows it, Amber is already straddling his lap, while grabbing desperately at his shirt.   She seems to have forgotten where they are with her hormones taking over, but he is still aware of where they are and what situation they are in. When her hands travel down to his belt buckle, he has to use all his might and the rationality he has got left to withdraw from the kiss and remove the hands that are about to send him straight to hell, and probably won’t come back until the next morning.   “Amber, we should stop-” His words turn into a moan when Amber starts attacking his neck.   “Why?” she pants in between her nibbles, causing him to shiver when latches on his skin.   “B-because w-we are at the hospital.”   Amber detaches off his neck and pulls back. Her cheeks are a dark shade of pink and her lips are pulled into a disappointed pout. He holds the side of her waist—or lack thereof with the size of her current abdomen—to appease her and tries to hold her in place on his lap; at the same time, realising she has gained quite a little bit of weight.   “Remember what got us here in the first place?” he sighs. The pout remains on her lips and her forehead comes into a glower. “Amber, if anything happens to you and our baby, I cannot forgive myself, so—”   “So you want me to keep my libido in check?” she snaps, glaring at him.   He frowns at her lack of rationality, “Amber!”   “The baby’s fine, Myung Soo! H-”   She doesn’t get to finish when a loud noise comes from the machine; a whooshing sound mixed with series of thuds.   “See!” she exclaims, secretly relieved that the baby is agreeing with her. “He just moved!”   Myung Soo stares at the probe that is now moving on her stomach due to the movements underneath. He rests both of his hands on Amber’s belly, pressing gently on her stomach to feel for the baby through the spaces untouched by the straps and probes, which is quite hard to do.   “He is doing somersaults at the moment. You won’t be able to find his head now,” Amber explains, moving off his lap onto the bed again while keeping his hands on her stomach.   “Does it feel weird? When he moves?”   Amber shakes her head. “I sort of missed the way Paris used to move inside me. But at the time, you weren’t around, so I think I like the experience this time around more.” She smiles softly as she plays around with his hand.   Hearing the sounds that don’t seem to end after minutes passed, he wonders, “Does he always move a lot?”   “This is actually the longest he has moved for a round,” she says matter-of-factly. “It’s probably because of this,” she brings his hand onto her chest and for a second, he misreads it as her bringing it to her if it isn’t for the pulse he hears underneath his palm and her next words, “because you’re here.”   He chuckles, “Since when are you so cheesy?”   She grins, glad to see the smile back on his face for the first time that morning. She shrugs and glances at the machine in dismay. “It’s actually hard to get a good trace at this stage. I’m just 28 weeks and the baby still moves around a lot. That line is going to drop because the probes lose contact with his heart.”   “Shouldn’t they be checking the baby with an ultrasound?”   “I think they’re waiting for the doctor to come and do that, Myung.”   All he sees on the paper attached to the machine is an up and down scribbles like those machines that detect someon