I never know that I can fall in love again when someone hurt me so badly. That time, someone left me without saying goodbye and I found out that person already with someone else.. Yeah.. that time.. I feel like, I can't trust love anymore and when someone said, she or he love me, I will think that was lie..

Until u came to my life and fixed me.. Yeah.. You are my angel that never be replaced.. I really want you in my life and I will love you will my all heart till my last breath.. 

"Why you smiling like crazy, Sica? Remember something?"

My prince speak near my ears, feel like wind from heaven.

I smiled again when our eyes meet. "Nothing, Youngie. I just remember again when first time we meet," I said.

"Yeah.. That time you really cold to me. Even you ignore my presence," Sooyoung said.

I giggled to heard her reaction. Yeah.. that time I completely ignored her even she tried and tried to talk to me everyday.

"You know.. that time.. I still have broken heart.. I can't believe anyone.." I said lowering my head to hide the sad feeling that sometimes I can feel it.

Sooyoung raised my chin slowly and kiss my lips.

"Don't think about it anymore, princess. Its over now, right? And you have me now.."

I smiled again when I can see her bright smile. I really love her smile cause it can makes me can smile again.

I hugged her really tight and secretly I prayed to God that I want to keep this love forever and wish God will bless me for that.

*

Today Sooyoung didnt come to my house cause she have work to do today. It makes me feel uncomplete. I really want to see her and feel her presence next to me. I think, she will hug me tightly too like how I hug her all this time when finally we meet.

Its kinda funny to realized that at first, I really completely ignore her but now I really completely need her in my life. She is like a drugs for me. Like I lose my strenght when she didnt help me to stand up. And I cant breath cause she's my air. Yeah.. I completely addicted to her presence now..

I'm staring at my clock now, at this time Sooyoung still busy with her work and I don't want to disturb her at all. I think, I should be more patient to wait her home..

Usually when I read book, I never know how much time that I already spent. But everytime I flipped the page of my book, I will watch the clock and sighed heavily cause I know its still long till she go home..

Should I go to meet her? But will I disturb her?

I staring at the clock again.

I can bring her lunch, it almost lunch time, right?

But how about her office give her free lunch. So its no need to bring her lunch and maybe I only disturb her work time.

I arguing with myself about that lunch thing until I didn't know time passed and I did that almost for 30 minutes.

But I can't cook...

Suddenly my common sense wake me up. Yeah.. I can't cook. Sooyoung will have stomachache if she eat my dinner. It what my childhood friend, Tiffany, said to me when she accompany me to learn how to cook and taste my food.

Hmm... maybe I just call Tiffany to push away my boredom..

"Hello.. Fany, Fany, Tiffany here~!"

As usual her cheerful voice great me after I can hear 'tut' only twice.

"Why you always cheerful?"

"Why you always cold?" She replied me.

"I'm just asking."

"Me too."

"If you don't want to talk with me, you can hang up."

"Its not like that Jessica. Its just rare you call me, somehow I want to tease you hehe," She giggled like crazy in other side.

I sighed heavily. Usually I already hang up, but remember that I only have her as a friend and I don't want to ruined our friendship and the most important thing is I need her to push away my boredome, I didnt hang up.

"So... why you call?"

"I'm bored."

"So you only need me when you feel bored?"

"Maybe?"

She suddenly laughed again. And this time, I really don't understand why she do that and I'm blurt out asking it. "Why you laughed? Something funny?"

"Nothing, Sica. Its just usual you," She said between her laughed. "Your cold side somehow didn't change hehe."

"You want me to be like you?" I asked. "Hello~ Sica, Sica, Jessica here~!" I momocking her.

"Hmm... I think you are right.." She said kinda mumbling. "Its not suit you hehe."

Once again she has find a way to tease me and I kinda hate it.

"How about you with TaeTae, everything is right?" I asked her and as I wish she told me a lot of cheesy stories about her love life with Taeyeon.

I just put my phone next to me and let Tiffany talk a lot in there. I kinda listening her but somehow my mind goes wild to my moments with Sooyoung. All my memories that we made till now, any of it can makes me smile again. And slowly I fell asleep when Tiffany still talking on the phone..

*

I slowly wake up when I heard some voices not far away from me. One of them I recognize as Sooyoung and the other is Crystal. Actually I want to wake up and jump to hug Sooyoung tightly but their conversation stopped me..

"How is she..?" It was Sooyoung asked to Crystal.

"She's okay. She just fall asleep in the couch. I just covering her with blanket afraid she might catch cold," Crystal said. "I think that time she called TIffany unnie cause when I pick her phone, Tiffany unnie still talking with her didn't realize Unnie already sleep.."

"Ohh.. maybe I'll move her to bed then.."

"Unnie.." I think before Sooyoung come to me, Crystal stop her. "Thank you for helping her that time.."

"No need, Crystal.."

"But you makes her smile again and throught her sad moments. She can smile again when you around her. Really thank you, unnie."

I open my eyes a little and I can see Sooyoung only nodding her head.

"What happen, unnie? Are you tired?"

Sooyoung shake her head. "Its not like that. You don't have to thank me. She is a beautiful girl. Its worthless if this world can't see her smile anymore."

"Unnie.. may I asked you something..?" Crystal asked.

"What is it?" Sooyoung asked back.

"Are you happy with Jessica unnie? Do you still love her?" Crystal asked.

Stab! I suddenly feel the pain in my heart when I can hear that question.

"Why you asked me that..?" Sooyoung asked back again.

"Sometimes I see you sighed secretly when Jessica unnie not looking at you.. Am I forcing you too much to stay with her? Cause I want someone help her to standing in her own feet again?" Crystal asked again.

What?? Crystal asking Sooyoung to stay with me?!

"I heard from Amber actually Sooyoung unnie want to break up cause unnie don't love her as much as before.."

Stab! Stab!

"You afraid she will get hurt again, right?" Crystal asked. "You afraid she will try to kill herself again like before, right?"

Sooyoung still keep silent.

"Don't have to sacrisfied your feeling anymore for her, unnie," Crystal said. "Let my sister face the reality.. She should learn to received pain and heal it by herself, right?"

"Are you sure?" Thats what Sooyoung asked. "I will feel more guilty cause I raised her hope about forever and now I leave her?"

Stab! Stab! Stab!

"Someday.. she will understand.. love doesn't mean you both should be together.. Some people, even they love each other, they doesn't meant to be together.. She will learn, unnie.. Me and Tiffany unnie will help her.." Crystal said. "And I think, she will hurt more if she knew, you only pretend love her.."

"I love her, Crystal.."

Smile paint in my face to hear it.

"As a friend or lover..?" Crystal asked.

Sooyoung keep silent. Stab!

"Just say it clearly and directly what you feel now, Unnie.. What she need is someone who can say goodbye to her directly, not like her previous who leave her without say anything.. I think, she will more easy to accept that.." Crystal continue.

Sooyoung sighed heavily. "Can I wait till her birthday passed? I want to see her brightess smile in her birthday.. please.."

Crystal nodding her head. "Sorry for forcing you, Unnie. But I don't want you hurt her more with you fake love."

Crystal suddenly become Ice Princess II and makes Sooyoung freeze in her place.

"Can I move her to her bed?" Sooyoung asked permission.

Crystal only nod.

I still pretending I'm sleeping when Sooyoung lift my body and move me to my bed. She softly kissed my forehead and I can feel tears down to my face when she said, "Goodnight, Princess... I love you but I'm sorry its not that much anymore..."

She covering my body with blanket and slowly leave my room. When I already make sure she left me alone. I cried hugging my pillow.

*

Today is my birthday. But if you want to know what I feel now.. I feel miserable. Last night, I talked with myself. I made a decision. I don't know if I regret it later, but I think, this is the only the way to prove how much I love Sooyoung.

"Anyone want sing in my unnie birthday?" Crystal asked while showing microphone.

Sooyoung actually stand up that time, but I decided to took it. "I can enjoy my own party, right?" I said to Crystal cause she baffled.

Crystal smile at me and I give her the best smile I ever had.

"Youngie, listen this carefully, this is the one for you..." I smiled again at Sooyoung. That time Sooyoung seems shocked but she smiled at me. Yeah.. its enough, I think, I'll just smile when sing it.

I sit in the piano chair, I decided to used piano to be my background. I don't care if I look too melancholy after this. I just want to sing it and done.

Somebody told me you were leavin 
I didnt know 
Somebody told me youre unhappy 
But it doesnt show 
Somebody told me that you dont want me no more 
So youre walkin out the door 
Nobody told me youve been cryin 
Every night 
Nobody told me youd been dyin 
But didnt want to fight 
Nobody told me that you fell out of love from me 
So Im settin you free 
[Ref:]
Let me be the one to break it up 
So you wont have to make excuses 
We dont need to find a set up where 
Someone wins and someone loses 
We just have to say our love was true 
But has now become a lie 
So Im tellin you I love you one last time 
And goodbye 
Somebody told me you still loved me 
Dont know why 
Nobody told me that you only 
Needed time to fly 
Somebody told me that you want to come back when 
Our love is real again 
[ref then bridge]
[Bridge:]
Just turn around and walk away 
You dont have to live like this 
But if you love me still then stay 
Dont keep me waiting for that final kiss 
We can work together through this test 
Or we can work through it apart 
I just need to get this off my chest 
That you will always have my heart 
[ref]

I look deeply into Sooyoung's eyes when singing that song. I really tried hard to smile when sang it, but I think, I cried too in the same time.

I took the microphone and stand up in the stage. I still staring at Sooyoung that time.

"Youngie.. Really thank you for all the love that you give for me.. I really happy that we ever been together.. I will keep all the memories that we have.. And I'm really sorry cause I can't makes you always falling in love with me everyday like you did to me.." I said.

Of course tears overflowing in my face but I tried to keep my smile.

"I don't want to burden you anymore.. And you don't have to worry about me too cause I'll be fine.. Someday..." I said. "Thank you and sorry for everything.. I love you the most.. But I set you free now... Lets break up."

"Sica..."

She called me but I shut her by place my finger on her lips.

"I love you." I kiss her lips for the last time and I walk away leave the living room to my own room. I think, I need to sleep a lot tonight. I want to be princess sleepyhead again. Yeah.. Lets sleep. Goodnight, everyone.

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