Jin Ae’s point of view:

Growing weaker and weaker each and every day, this is how I live my life.  I was recently diagnosed with Acute Leukemia.  It turns out that 92% of the cancer has already spread through my bone marrow, and it’s only a matter of time until I’ll say my goodbyes to this world.  I’m not one to be so dramatic and I am most definitely not one to practice self-pity but I would be lying if I told you that I wasn’t at all depressed with my present condition.  Why did this disease choose me?  What did I do so wrong in my past life for me to suffer this?  Fate, why must you be so cruel to me and to the ones I love?  Feeling weaker than yesterday, I decided to pretend that I was asleep even when there were visitors.  Not that I didn’t want them to come, I’ve always appreciated the company of those who cared for me… But for some reason today, I felt the need to just be quiet.  There was a soft knock on the door and I heard my parents come in.  I kept my eyes shut and pretended to be asleep like I planned.  Without a word, I heard my mom come towards my bed and fixed my blankets making sure that every inch of my body was shielded from the coldness the air conditioner was providing.  Then I felt her soft hand caressing my forehead like she always did for me as a child.  The only difference is that when she did that, she would usually be smiling.  It felt really different today because I knew she was on the verge of tears.  I heard everything the doctor said to my parents and Chan Yeol last night.  Call it eavesdropping but I was quite upset that I wasn’t involved in their little chat last night.  It was about my health, my condition and I deserved to know it.  The doctor said I only had about 3 months left.  My mom cried and said that she didn’t believe it, my dad was speechless but I knew he was comforting my mom who was probably sobbing on the floor and Chan Yeol… Chan Yeol tried to stifle his cries and asked the doctor to check again because there might have been a mistake; but we all know that there weren’t any mistakes made.  We all knew that my condition was becoming worse as each day comes.  There were no mistakes at all.  Everything the doctor told them was unfortunately correct.  I knew why the doctor didn’t include me in the conversation, I was a patient.  I was already suffering enough and if the doctor allowed me to see my loved ones taking in that kind of news would’ve been very heartless of him to do so.  It was heartbreaking news and I knew it wouldn’t be any better for my condition, but being the stubborn person that I am; I decided to eavesdrop.  It was unbearable for me to see my parents this way.  To see my mom cry because of me and my dad who isn’t usual his smiling self, it hurt me a lot more.  I wanted to hold her hand; I wanted to tell them that everything will be alright, that I would be alright… But such lies will not make things any better.  They should not go through any more suffering because of me, so I will not try to give them false hope.  I’ll try with all my might and pray with all my heart that I would survive this disease and live, but I won’t say anything to give them false hope.  I’m just going to fight this disease silently and show my parents the brightest smiles I could give them every day.  As I couldn’t take my mother’s silent sobs anymore, my eyes fluttered open.  I smiled at my mom and wiped her tears.

“Umma… Uljimarayo…” I said in weak tone “Appa, umma… Good morning…” I greeted them with a smile.

“Jin Ae-ya, how are you feeling?” my father asked with a sad smile.

“Better now that you guys are here.” I smiled weakly

“We brought you some fruits and some kimchi jjigae, dear. Are you hungry?” my mom asked smiling weakly back at me.

“Fruit sounds good right now, umma… Thank you.” I said as I kissed her cheek.

After watching me eat, my parents had to leave for work.  I hugged and kissed both of them and wished them a great day at work and to be safe.  I was left alone for the rest of the morning.  I took the privilege to take a stroll out in the hospital garden.  I hated hospitals; they make people feel so gloomy.  The garden was beautiful though.  The flowers were so pretty that looking at them taught me how to appreciate the littlest things in life.  The trees that provide shade under the benches was my favorite spot to read or write in my diary.  I made my way towards the bench near the fountain and began to scribble away.

“You know a patient should be resting right?” A deep voice suddenly said from behind me.

I looked at the person instantly recognizing his voice and there he was.  He looked tired and though he was smiling, I could see sadness in his eyes as he sat beside me.

“Chan Yeol-ah…… What are you doing here?  Why aren’t you at school?”

“School ended early today, so I decided to come see you and keep you company.”

“Ah I see…. How’s everyone doing?  I miss going to school.”

“They are all doing fine, but they really miss you…” he said quietly

“I really miss them too…..”

“Then hurry up and get better so you can come back to school… okay?” he said as he slowly entwined his fingers with mine.

I looked at our entwined fingers and nodded, not being able to speak and he pulled me into a hug.  We stayed like that for as long as I can remember before going inside the hospital because I had to eat.

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Hmmmm... So how was the first chapter?