I awoke to rays of sunlight streaming through the half-open blinds. Slowly I squinted my eyes and tried to shade my face with my hands. However, I found that I couldn’t….because my hand was wrapped in another hand. I was able to get myself completely awake and realize that Junho had wrapped his arms around me and had a good grasp on my hand. I didn’t even remember how we got like this, but he ended up sleeping in the bedroom with me. I smiled to myself. Even though I was turned around and couldn’t see Junho’s face I just knew he probably looked adorable in his sleep. It occurred to me that I probably needed to get out of there before the guys woke up and got the wrong idea. Junho was holding me pretty tightly, but he was also snoring. Maybe he was a deep sleeper? I slowly began to maneuver myself from Junho’s embrace, but the minute I let go of his hand and started to shimmy away he pulled me back to his body with one arm.

“Jamie,” He mumbled groggily, “Where are you going?”

“Junho, I can’t stay in here. The guys are gonna get the wrong idea.” I whispered with a smile.

                Junho let go of me so he could lie on his back and stretch. I turned over to see that he was beginning to work his eyes open.

“What are you talking about?” Junho asked, still not fully awake.

“You weren’t supposed to sleep in here last night.” I nudged him playfully, not realizing that I was speaking English with him.

“Jamieeee, I don’t understand your English.” Junho was an explosion of ageyo this morning. I wasn’t even trying to hide my grin.

“Try.” I stated once again in English.

“Sorry, I don’t speak English.” Junho grabbed me and pinned me to the bed.

“Junho! Stop it!” I squealed as he held down my arms while laying quick pecks on my cheek and neck.

“I mean it,” I lied, “Stop!”

“Nope. I don’t speak English, ma’am.” Junho said before continuing to lay kisses on me.  I continued to squeal and complain as if I didn’t enjoy it.

“Kiss.” Junho said the one word in English and playfully puckered his lips.

“No!” I said. “Not with that morning breath.”

“Give me kiss, please?” Junho showed off his eye smile as well as his minimal English skills. Ugh, why’d he have to be so freakin adorable?

“One kiss.” I gave in trying to hide my smile. But Junho pounced. His lips attacked mine. I’ll admit, despite the combination of both our morning breath I was pretty by his aggressiveness. What was supposed to be “one kiss” turned into an all-out tongue wrestling match. I got concerned, however, when I felt Junho’s hands leaving my arms and roaming down elsewhere. I was able to break away from this kiss.

“Junho,” I said breathlessly, “no.”

“No?”

“No.”

                Junho sighed as he rolled off of me, revealing the tent that was forming in his basketball shorts.

“Sorry, Junho.” I said sweetly. I really did feel bad. If morning wood wasn’t enough I knew I had made things much worse.

“No, no. Don’t be sorry…..um….do you think you could?” Junho hinted. I wasn’t new to this kind of thing, he obviously wanted me to leave so he could take care of himself.

“No problem. Can I use your bathroom?” I asked on my way to the door.

“Yea, yea, go ahead.” Junho rushed me out.

                I left Junho’s bedroom to see that nobody was around. I could hear Chansung’s snoring from the living room and Wooyoung’s room down the hall was still closed. I entered the bathroom which was right across from Junho’s room, thankfully. I flipped on the light and instantly remembered that I was in an all-boys apartment. I ignored the mess and went straight for the cabinet mirror in search of some mouthwash. That was the thing I hated about last minute “sleepovers”. You lack everything. A toothbrush, a change of clothes, makeup, hair stuff, I just hated this.

“Bingo.” I mumbled as I spotted a bottle of mouthwash. I took a couple of swigs until I felt that was suitable for public standards. I began to wash my face, not caring much about the spare water getting on the front my shirt. What’s a wet shirt compared to eye crusties? There wasn’t much to do about my braids, though I did detect a bit of frizz from sleeping on a bare pillow without a scarf on to protect my hair. Otherwise, I looked pretty decent for someone who slept over unprepared. My heart jumped when I heard a sudden knock on the door. Before I could react I saw Junho peak his head inside.

“Hey.” He smiled brightly. I guess he was in a better mood now that he rubbed one out.

“Hey,” I responded, “I guess I should be on my way.” I stated, feeling the sadness come out in my voice. I needed to go home but I just didn’t want to.

“Already?” Junho pouted as he leaned against the wall. I nodded in response. I needed to shower and change my clothes.

“But…maybe I can come back later on?” I said hopefully. Junho smiled.

“Yeah, to make up for not working yesterday.” Junho said. We both knew why we really wanted to be around each other.

                We both smiled at each other as Junho opened the door for me. We both came out of the bathroom, still smiling shyly when a voice broke us out of our trance.

“Jamie! What are you still doing here?”

                Junho and I looked up to see Chansung, still in his pajamas, staring at us with a confused expression. In fact, all the guys were in the living room together; most of them poked their heads around the corner of the living room and kitchen to look. I wasn’t quite ready for the ambush so I didn’t answer. Instead, I turned to Junho.

“Why didn’t you tell me the guys were up?” I whispered through gritted teeth.

“Um….the guys are up?” Junho nervously responded.

“Yeah,” A pajama-wearing Taecyeon came around the corner, “Shouldn’t you be at the elementary school?”

                I hesitated before trying to answer.

“Oh my gosh, Jamie! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you late!” Junho frantically apologized.

“No, no. You didn’t make me late, Junho.” I tried to assure him.

“Why would he make you late?” Wooyoung inquired.

“And if you’re not late then what’s up with the school?” Nichkhun jumped in.

“Is everything alright down there?” Junsu grew concerned

“Or maybe today’s a holiday.” Chansung guessed.

                I couldn’t think straight, there were too many questions coming at me. Tears welled in my eyes as thoughts of my last day started to build up. I snapped.

“I quit, okay?! I just quit!” I felt my voice crack from the yelling. I looked at the guys with my tear stained face to see how shocked they were at my reaction. I felt so awkward….so helpless. I was about to turn to lock myself in Junho’s room but he got a hold of my wrists.

“No, no,no.” Junho’s voice was barely a whisper he spoke so soft. I kept hanging my head down trying to avoid eye contact with him. I was so embarrassed by my outburst. Junho removed his hand from one of my wrists to take my chin and gently raise it to him.

“We can talk.” Junho spoke in English for me. I closed my eyes and nodded, still holding back more tears.

                Junho led me to the living room couch for me to sit down. The other guys were at attention, but trying not to stare too intently at me.

“Okay….I’ll talk.” I finally gathered myself together enough to speak.

“Jamie, you don’t have to-“ Nichkhun started.

“No,” I assured him, “It’s fine. I want to.”

                The guys sort of gathered near me and Junho clutched my hand. I took a deep breath and started.

“Yesterday was pretty standard. I gave the kids a pop quiz….everything was going as it would usually. After I dismissed the kids I began doing my planning period and planning what I was going to prepare for Junho later on. During my planning period, another teacher came in. Mr. Choi. He was a nice older man…or  at least he seemed like it. I didn’t understand it at all…..he was so nice. He had a wife and three daughters. He had daughters….

                I found myself getting off track due to my own emotions but kept trying to press through the story.

“So anyway, he was asking me to help him with some paper work in his private office. He has one because he’s also the school counselor. The files were in English and he needed me to tell them how to organize them….So we umm….we went to his office. He closed the door behind him and began to dim the light inside. I turned around he didn’t look the same. He looked….he looked so demonic. His smile was no longer warm and inviting. It just….disturbed me. I-I-I had asked him where the files were. But he didn’t answer me. He just started walking towards me. He was talking weird and his stare was horrible. I figured out what was happening and tried to leave but he grabbed me…..He grabbed me and slammed me against the wall….he tried to….”

                I couldn’t even finish.  The guys had already figured out what the story entailed though. Taecyeon was busy pulling my face into his chest for me to cry in, but Junho was too angry to function.

“How dare he,” Junho started at a mumble, “How dare he!” He stood to his feet and shouted. Junho turned to me and brought me up to look at him.

“Jamie-ah,” The fire in his eyes was still aflame, “Who is he? Where does he live? Tell me.”

“Junho, calm down.” Chansung was able to make Junho sit back down, but he couldn’t control his anger.

“How can I calm down?! Jamie could have gotten hurt!” Junho exclaimed.

“Hold on, hold on,” Taecyeon intruded, “Jamie did you tell anyone?”

“Hmph.” A dark chuckle came out of me. “I told the principal of the school.”

“And?!” Junsu asked in confusion.

“It didn’t help much….I remember exactly what he said to me: Well, Jamie, you have to realize that it’s in your nature to seduce men.” My voice came out angry and bitter.

“He said that?” Nichkhun asked in disbelief.

“I don’t get it….what does he mean it was in her nature?” Wooyoung inquired.

                Everyone looked at me waiting for me to answer. I sighed heavily.

“Guys, the thing about Black people….for a long time people have put us in this stereotype of being hyper ualized. That we’re naturally ardent when it comes to and stuff like that. They make it seem like we don’t have self-control and stuff, especially the women. And all because we look different and our bodies are built different. That’s why back in the early stages of the United States back during slavery times....the slave masters would take the Black women and them. And then they'd blame the woman.”

                The guys all sighed, partly in shock and partially because they learned something they never knew before.

“So when we called you y before…..did it hurt your feelings?” Junsu asked hesitanty.

“Well….a little. It’s not necessarily because you called me y. It’s just that I never know if people genuinely think that or if they say that because they like the idea of me.” I confessed.

“But you’re really pretty, Jamie.” Junho had calmed down enough to speak softer. “You’re so pretty and I mean that.”

                Though I had a tear stained face, Junho’s words really moved me and made me give him a small smile. He showed off his eye smile in return. We stayed like this for a moment until we heard Chansung clear his throat which made us snap out of our trance.

“Well is anything going to happen to the other guy?” Wooyoung asked.

“I doubt it.” I sighed as I laid back on the couch.

“Well, you won’t have to deal with him anymore right?” Junho asked hopefully.

“Not exactly…..he lives in my neighborhood.”

“WHAT?!” They all exclaimed.

“Jamie, you can’t stay there!” Junho had gotten worked up again.

“Well, there’s really not much I can do about that.” I said. There really wasn’t anywhere for me to go.

                Junho looked to his hyungs helplessly. I almost regretted telling them about what happened. He seemed so eager to help me. Taecyeon spoke up.

“Jamie, I’ll take you back to your apartment. But we’re going to call JYP and see what we can do about you moving to our apartment building.”

                My eyes widened.

“Y’all, that’s too much! You don’t have to do all of that, really.” I protested. I always hated the idea of imposing on others.

“No, Jamie.” Junho stated simply. “You don’t need to be anywhere near him.”

“I know but-“

“No buts,” Taecyeon agreed with Junho, “You can’t stay over there. I’ll get the company van and drive you back to the apartment, but I’ll be contacting JYP immediately.”

                Taecyeon left the apartment, I was guessing to go to his own and change into some clothes to wear outside. There was barely a moment of silence before someone spoke up again.

“Junho didn’t sleep in the living room last night!” Chansung tattled.

                My eyes widened and Junho shot Chansung a death stare, signaling for him to stop talking.

“What are you talking about?” Nichkhun was filled with curiosity. I just sat there awkwardly as Chansung told on us.

“You heard me! He didn’t sleep in here last night…he was in his room with Jamie.” Chansung said in a teasing tone.  The guys all looked at me and Junho and released their choir of Ooo’s.

“Wait a minute, you didn’t want Jamie in my room because you wanted her all to yourself. You little .” Junsu joked.

“It was NOT like that.” I was quick to set the record straight.

“If it wasn’t like that then why were you in the room together?” Wooyoung asked with the same teasing tone Chansung had earlier.

“We were just talking and we fell asleep.” Junho clarified, though he couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice.

“Sure you did.” Junsu  just wasn’t convinced.

“I’m serious! Nothing happened!” I felt my face growing hot.

“Except when you kissed Junho during your wrestling match.” Wooyoung blurted out.

                I gasped. I didn’t think anybody saw that. I looked at Junho, who was grinning from ear to ear.

“That was just strategy, okay?” I went with the same lie as before.

“Strategy?” Nichkhun chuckled.

“Yea….it was easier to win that way.” I crossed my arms as I made a defensive statement.

                It was a good thing Taecyeon came back when he did because  I had no idea what else I  could possibly say to defend myself. When he came back to the room I immediately said goodbye to everyone and headed for the door. However, Junho grabbed me by the wrist.

“You’re coming back this afternoon right?” Junho asked. I smiled.

“I’ll be right back.”

 

 

 

It was pretty quiet as Taecyeon and I walked over to the elevator. However, that stopped when we actually entered; kind of like how we first met.

“Junho really likes you, you know?” Taecyeon said it more of a statement than a question. This was quite a weird conversation starter, I thought to myself. I didn’t even know how to respond. He continued.

“What? You can’t admit you like him too?” Taecyeon smiled. I stared down at my feet, unable to hide my smile.

“Okay. So I do.” I said. Taecyeon laughed.

“I guess you know…he hasn’t really been happy in a while.”

“Yea…he told me.” I said. It went without saying that we both knew what was being discussed at this moment. A thought came to mind and I decided to ask.

“Don’t you guys have rules about dating?” I asked. My hands were clutching each other in nervousness.

“Yea. We’re not allowed.” Taecyeon said with almost no emotion in his voice. I think I felt my heart slowly tremble inside of my chest.

“I thought so…” I tried to hide the disappointment.

“Yea,” Taecyeon turned to me, “It’s a good thing you’re going on dates and that you just like each other, huh?” He said with a wink. I smiled as Taecyeon wrapped an arm around me.

“Thank you.” I stated quietly.

“No problem.” He said. I couldn’t help but start laughing, much to Taecyeon’s confusion.

“What’s so funny?” He asked with a slight chuckle.

“Nothing, it’s just……he was actually pretty mad with me. He thought I liked you.” I continued to laugh.

“Well you don’t have to say it like that.” Taecyeon pretended to be offended and hurt.

“Ah hush!” I said playfully.

                It was nice to see that we were both on the same page with everything. I was able to leave the apartment building with Taecyeon with a smile on my face. Perhaps I could start working full time for these guys?