Choi Siwon stood watching the performance going on onstage, all the while mentally going over the lyrics and dance steps for the first song of his group’s performance. He wasn’t nervous. He never was. But he did pride himself on giving 110% every time he was on stage and messing up a dance step or lyric was definitely not his style.

With his makeup done and dressed for their first performance of the SMtown event he looked every bit the dark and dangerous phantom of the opera inspired character he and his fellow group members were supposed to be channelling. Except perhaps for the fact that the mask he wore didn’t hide any shameful deformity as the original phantom’s mask did instead it veiled a face that he owed much of his fame and success to.

 “We’re on in 3 minutes!”  Donghae announced, sidling up beside Siwon to watch the performance.

Siwon glanced briefly at his friend before turning his attention back to the screen, with Donghae beside him he felt inexplicably awkward watching the nine girl’s onstage perform.  He folded his arms and focused on keeping his features neutral but his attention perked as the dance solo began. Gliding into place at the centre of the stage, her golden hair whipping from side to side in time to her perfectly timed movements the girl on stage wowed the audience, the stadium filling with shouts and screams of awe and appreciation.

“Hyoyeon! Hyoyeon! Hyoyeon!” her name seemed to reverberate throughout the stadium.

“Wow,” Donghae murmured.

My sentiments exactly, Siwon thought with a proud smile.

It was hard to believe seven years had gone by since they’d travelled to China for a three month long language course. Seven years since that fateful night when things between them had changed for the worse, seven years since she had become more careful around him, polite and sweet but so very guarded. He had ignored the sudden change in their dynamic for most of the past few years. It was for the best anyway. They needed to focus on their careers, he had told himself. And the prideful part of him had convinced him that he could always win back her adoration and that they could go back to the way they had been for those glorious three months in Beijing.

But something had changed in the past few months. She was different, happier and more confident. Maybe it was the sudden rise in her popularity? But something told him it wasn’t just that. She had always been confident in herself, even before more people began to realise how amazing she was both as an entertainer and a person. He recalled her appearance on a show the year before, talking about a crush she had on some unnamed idol. He felt his body tense as the memory of the secretive smile that had lit up her features as she described the mystery man. Single eyelids, witty, great dancer were the words she had used, in other words she hadn’t been talking about him. He sighed.

“You alright?” Donghae asked, a concerned look on his face.

“Fine,” he replied. “Just excited for our performance!”

He ignored the questioning look Donghae sent his way instead focusing his attention back on the performance. What could he say anyway?

'I’m thinking about Hyoyeon’s secret crush and how easy it would be to totally destroy his career with a single post on my twitter?' That was hardly appropriate pre-performance chit chat.

As the girls came off stage, he and the waiting members of Super Junior congratulated them on their performance. He caught her eye despite reminding himself not to. She smiled at him and raised her hand for a hi-5, his hand connected with hers and his fingers automatically intertwined with hers.  If she was surprised by the action, she didn’t show it. He held onto her hand for only a moment but the jolt of awareness as she squeezed his hand lightly made the moment feel like something of an eternity.

“Fighting!” she said with her trademark laugh.

***

Hyoyeon took a large sip of the orange flavoured vitamin water in her hand before setting the small bottle down on the table. Dressed in a white t-shirt with SMtown written on its front in bright yellow and a pair of jeans she was ready for the final group performance that would bring the concert to a close.

“Hyoyeon?” Sooyoung called to her from across the waiting room.

“Mhm?”

“Would you like some underground?” she asked holding a tube of eye liner.

Was she ever going to live down that faux pas? She wondered as everyone in the room chuckled at Sooyoung’s joke.

“Yah! Come up with a new gag!” she called back.

She took one last swig of the vitamin water before walking out of the waiting room that was getting steadily stuffier despite the steady stream of cool air the air conditioning unit pumped into the room. Put nine girls all wearing nine different kinds of perfume, hair spray, variously scented body lotions and other makeup products in one room after a heavy onstage performance and it was bound to get more than just a little stuffy. She wondered what some of their more hard core fans would think if they saw just how human they really were.

'Idols sweat too,' she thought with a smile.

She walked down the wide hallway towards the back of the stage, greeting a few juniors and seniors as she went, skirting past stagehands carrying extra mics and stylists and managers all running up and down trying to prepare their charges for the final performance.

The audience was going wild as one of the company’s veteran artists wound down the last individual performance of the concert. She absently watched the performance, instead her attention was focused on the flurry of activity around her. It was amazing how much went on behind the scenes. She thought they as the performers had a hard time but looking at everyone else working double time to pull together a concert with so many different artists all with their own distinctive style and theme, it was really…

“Amazing, isn’t it?” a familiar voice called, echoing her thoughts.

She looked up to see Siwon walking towards her dressed just as simply as she was in a t-shirt and jeans. He gestured to the staff moving up and down.

She nodded in agreement, “Totally amazing!”

“Your performance was great today,” he said, mimicking one of the moves she had done onstage.

She laughed, “Thank you. You guys did really well too!”

“Ah…what about my performance?” he asked.

“You did really well too…I guess.”

“You guess?”

She smiled, “The dancing queen was focused on the dancing king.”

Eunhyuk? Single eyelids, witty, great dancer. The words flashed to the front of his mind. No. It couldn’t be. But it fit. Eunhyuk and Hyoyeon were friends. Good friends. No, very good friends. It would make sense. He frowned and pushed the thoughts from his mind.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” his tone more serious than he had intended.

An unreadable expression crossed her features momentarily but was quickly replaced with a smile, “Are you coming to the after party?”

“I am but I don’t think I’ll stay too long.  I have a CF shoot starting at 7am so I need to get a few hours of sleep in at least,”

“Don’t push yourself too hard,”

“But I have to,” he replied, “So that you’ll look at me too.”

He regretted the words almost as soon as they left his mouth, if only because she didn’t respond immediately but only stared silently at him for a long awkward moment. Was she surprised? Upset? Speechless with joy?

As if in answer to his musing she burst out laughing. Well, he could rule out those three guesses.  She was only amused. He couldn’t decide if he was relieved or upset at her reaction to his embarrassing statement. He had meant those words.

 Her laughter seemed to draw the attention of the PD who was heading the shooting of the behind the scenes footage of the concert and as soon as he and the camera crew came up to them their conversation was cut short, the presence of cameras automatically triggering their transformation from Choi Siwon, to “Super Junior’s face and centre member Siwon” and from Kim Hyoyeon to “Girl’s Generation dancing queen Hyoyeon”.

How would you rate the concerts success? Were you happy with your performance? Please leave a message for your fans!

As Siwon expertly answered the (rather generic) questions he became aware of the fact that the PD seemed to have put the focus entirely on him, ignoring Hyoyeon.

“Hyoyeon’s performance today was exceptional, don’t you think?” he looked directly  into the camera. “To Hyoyeon’s fans, please anticipate an even cooler image from your number one dancing queen!”

The camera man immediately shifted down to Hyoyeon who after a brief pause bowed and replied, “Please look forward to it!”

***

“Ah…I can’t believe how cold it is,” Hyoyeon held her cupped palms close to and blew on them.

Siwon glanced down at her. She had clearly dressed for a morning of Chinese lessons inside their warm classroom but, soon after arriving, about half an hour earlier they’d been informed that their class had been cancelled. They were now stuck waiting in the reception hall until their manager came to pick them up and take them back to their house. It was an already chilly morning but the incredibly draughty reception hall with its large main doors flung wide open to let in a freezing morning breeze wasn't helping matters.

“Here,” he turned her towards him and took hold of her hands warming her hands with his, “Better?” he asked after a moment.

“Uh…yeah,” she gave a small cough, “I’m feeling much warmer now, thanks” she gently tugged her hands away from his.

“Hey,” he laughed taking hold of her hands again, “You’ll only get cold again if you let go,” he said, holding on firmly despite her efforts to pull away.

She looked up, her eyes focused on his, “It feels a little strange…you holding my hands,” she looked down at their hands, “Like this.”

He looked down as well, at her hands held his, her fingers laced through his, a little unsure of what she meant.

“Strange how?” he asked.

Hyoyeon opened to answer but then seemed to change her mind, “Never mind.”

He cocked his head to the side,“Now I’m really curious,”

Her already flushed face seemed to go a little redder and he smiled as understanding dawned on him, “You’re blushing” he said in accusingly, “What indecent thoughts are you thinking Kim Hyoyeon?”

“What?” with one quick movement she’d pulled her hands away again, “I’m not thinking anything,”

“You’re not thinking anything?” he smiled.

“Anything indecent,” she clarified.

He reached up and unwrapped the thick navy blue scarf around his neck, “Since warming your hands with mine feels strange,” he leaned close to wrap the scarf around her neck,“You can have this,”

“I can wrap it myself,” she hastily pushed his hands away, her tone determined and serious.

 “I’m sure you can,” he replied equally seriously all the while hiding the smile that threatened to break out over his features.

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The memory of that morning still made Siwon smile. He still wondered if it was strange that he found how awkward she was with skinship endearing. She had arrived the next day with a pair of thick gloves on not to mention avoided him like the plague over the following few days after that incident.

'Had she liked him at that moment? Or had her feelings grown over time?' He wondered.

He had never really thought of Hyoyeon as a girl before that morning but after that exchange... He shook his head. That was the wrong way to describe it. It was more like he had never considered what her being a girl really meant. But after feeling how small and femininely soft her hands were as he held them in his and seeing her blushing and flustered because of him he had become highly aware of her as more than just fellow-trainee-dance-wonder Kim Hyoyeon.

He supposed that was the moment when things had really started to change between them.

***

“Thanks for your time Hyo, those last few steps of the choreography were killer!”

“Anytime,” Hyoyeon replied, “And remember, it’s just 3 beats before you get into that popping move. Once you get that, that section gets much easier,”

“Got it! See you tomorrow!”

“Night!”

Hyoyeon walked to the cooler at the end of the practice room, poured out a cup of cold water and took a long swig. She looked at the clock. It was already 9pm and she’d stayed behind to help on her fellow trainees with some of the choreography. It hadn’t been long since she had moved into the dorms and although she missed home she was already seeing the benefit of not having to set a time limit on her practice sessions. She set the cup down and walked back to the centre of the room. She felt energized enough for another hour or so of practice, then she’d have some dinner, go to the dorm, call home and then go to bed.

She’d only been practising for a few minutes when the door to the practice room opened and a head peeked in. She only spared the guest a glance before turning her attention back on the dance counting off the beats under her breath. The choreography was fast and powerful with sections where the power melted away giving way to soft and graceful moves that contrasted but worked perfectly with the general style of the dance. As the music faded away she relaxed her body and took a deep breath, on the exhale a loud clap broke out behind her. The guest hadn’t left as she had assumed but was standing in the room. She turned around.

“That was amazing!” he exclaimed.

“Thanks…” she replied, a little hesitantly.

He made his way across the room to her, “Choi Siwon,” he introduced himself.

“I know who you are,” she said automatically, then quickly added, “I mean, I’ve seen you around…the building.”

He smiled, “I’ve seen you too. Hyoyeon, right?”

She nodded.

“I’d heard you were a dancing machine but I had no idea…The dance just now, wow! I wish I could dance like that…”

He has a really nice smile. The thought popped into her head so suddenly she didn’t even have time to register its significance.

 “I could show you some of the moves, if you want,” she offered.

“Right now?”

“If you’re busy…”

Why were her palms getting damp?

“I’m not busy,” Siwon shook his head, “But do you think we could practice after I get something to eat? I just got back from a schedule and I haven’t had anything to eat in hours!”

As if in answer her own stomach growled.

“I’m going to assume that’s you asking if you can come along?” he laughed.

“Uh…”

He grabbed her hand, “Lets go!”

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Hyoyeon turned over on her bed heaving a heavy sigh. Trust her to let some inconsequential hand holding at a concert dredge up old memories.

 How long ago had that been? She wondered. Eight years? Eight and a half? Somehow though the memory always made her smile. He probably didn’t remember it but that was the first time a boy had ever held her hand. It was a precious memory, one of the few that hadn’t been tainted by all the hurt that had come later.

***