Happy Birthday Himchan
All Lies
It wasn't hate. It was never that. He didn't mean to be so annoyed at everything she did. He didn't want to feel so distant from her, but the more she pursued for his affection, the more he hated himself.
Himchan loved her. Of course he did. If he didn't, then why would he even say yes in the beginning. Jieun was his very first and official. Not to mention she was the first girl ever to come up to him and confess. Before, it had always been him asking girls out, but of course it only ended up as one night stands.
At first he didn't know why, but soon after that he knew that she had a deep, unknown connection with him. Himchan always treated her well and showed alot of affection for her, even swearing to god that he'd protect her with his life. But now, he would wonder what went wrong. Why did he end up doing this to her? Why couldn't he show his love for her anymore? Why? Because he was afraid. He was afraid that he'll end up treating her like all the other girls he had met. He was afraid to lose her because she is too precious to him. He sometimes even wonders if he's good enough for her? Why would she love someone like him anyway?
He spent his nights at the club just to get rid of his guilt. Trying to forget her for a moment would make him feel better, but that would only last for a split second because everytime he started playing with other girls, Jieun would always be on her mind. He regretted ignoring her phone calls, but that was just because he was being a coward, not wanting to admit to his own feelings.
It hurt him even more, when he found Jieun sleeping in Zelo's arms that night. He wondered why it wasn't him in Zelo's place instead. Of course that night he was angry, not at Zelo but at himself. Somehow it sounded funny to himself getting jealous at a 17 year old boy. And then the very same night when she hugged him from behind, his heart nearly stopped. He had shouted at her and got mad over a petty reason, but she still showed how much she loved him in every single way. Why would she do that? He couldn't even turn around to face her and hug her back because it was just too hard for him to show his emotions and he blamed this solely on his ego.
Himchan sighed in his mind. Yongguk had obviously misunderstood him but he had to admit that what Yongguk had said to him yesterday in his office was all true. All this time, he had been the bad guy. He was the one who wasn't being like a real man. He was the coward. How will he even be able to fix something that was already so messed up?
"Himchan?"
He turned his head to her direction and watched her approach him ever so slowly. It could be because he always had a bad mood in the morning and she didn't want to make it worse. It was true, he did always have bad moods in the morning, but he never meant to bark at her because of it.
"Here, I brought you a towel so you can get ready" she said and without a word recieved it from her. "oh, I changed the shampoo. It's not Lavender anymore" she genuinely smiled at him.
It wasn't surprising to him that she actually did what he told her to do. She always did things for him just to make him happy but was never once thankful to her.
"Jieun" he looked down at her. She tilted her head up to meet his eyes and when they did, something must of caught his tongue because it felt like he couldn't speak anymore. It was difficult for him to say a simple 'thank you'.
He forgot completely what he was about to say, so he just walked his way to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, leaving Jieun a ittle bit confused.
When he finished his shower, he saw Jieun waiting for him on the bed. She stood up when she saw him, and blushed when he was only wearing a towel around his waist.
"Why aren't you making breakfast?" he sternly asked her.
"It's all ready downstairs. I'm just waiting for you now" she answered. Himchan nodded and proceeded to dry his hair. At the corner of his eye, he watched her walk to the cupboard and bring out his suit and held it up for him.
She helped him button up his shirt and wore his tie for him. Himchan watched her and his eyes softened. He didn't deserve this treatment from her. Doesn't she get tired of him anymore? Always doing the same old thing every single day to a jerk who never paid attention to her.
When she helped him with his blazer, he caught a wiff of the air and it was coming from his clothes. He sniffed at them and arched an eyebrow at Jieun.
"I changed the detergent too." she smiled up at him and flattened out the creases of his clothes. "citrus" she told him without even looking up at him. Unconciously, his hand caught hold of her arm making her stop whatever she was doing.
"Jieun, I..." again, he choked on his words. His ego was playing with him and it was hurting the both of them.
"Come on Himchan, I need to show you something downstairs" she said and pulled him out of the room and lead him downstairs.
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There was a sudden loud pop, two actually, and confetti flew everywhere. When it finally settled down, Himchan could see Yongguk and Zelo in his decorated kitchen. Ribbons, balloons and a banner that said 'Happy Birthday Himchan'. Himchan looked down at Jieun when she started singing him the Birthday song followed by Yongguk and Zelo.
"Were you surprised hyung" Zelo asked when they finished singing.
"I didn't expect you to do it so early in the morning" Himchan answered, a little flustered by the surprise party.
"Jieun wanted to do it early in the morning since you always working late" Yongguk stressed the words at the end of the sentence and Himchan knew it was Yongguk's way you to make him feel guilty. Himchan brushed it off though, because he knew that Yongguk was challenging him and there was no way Himchan would back down from a fight.
All of them sat down at the table to have breakfast and Himchan had some Seaweed soup that Jieun had made for him. Yongguk just stared down at him, but Himchan pretended that he didn't notice.
"It's my birthday, but no presents?" he joked.
"aish, hyung! You're so impatient!" Zelo said but still got up from the chair to get the present box behind him and handed it to Himchan over the table. "It's a present from Yongguk and me, well, Yongguk mostly" the boy grinned so widely at the elder beside him.
Himchan eyed Yongguk who was sitting in front of him and gave him a playful smirk, then returned his attention to the present in his hands. He ripped open the rapper and opened the lid of the box, when he did, he eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open. He pulled out the sneakers from the box and stared at it, not believing his eyes. It was the shoes that he had always wanted. The last time he tried to get them, they were out of stock.
"It was hard work trying to get those for you" Yongguk finally spoke up.
"So is this why you do part-time work at the club?" he asked caressing his new shoes.
"Not entirely. I don't do everything for you, you know" Youngguk retorted.
"Touche" Himchan smiled widely at him. "Thanks anyway, you too Zelo". Zelo nodded, happy that his hyung was happy.
"Himchan.."
He heard a soft voice beside him call his name. He turned his head to face a box which was being held by Jieun. "Happy Birthday Himchan" she said as she smiled at him and he took the box from her. Carefully untying the ribbon, he opened the lid of the box to reveal cupckaes with happy faces on them.
"I made them and Zelo helped too" she explained and smiled at Zelo who was now standing beside her.
Yongguk wasn't looking, pretending like he didn't care, but Himchan knew that Yongguk was playing close attention to how he was going to react to this. Unknowingly, to his dismay, his ego acted up again, only because he didn't want to lose the challenge to Yongguk.
Himchan picked up a cupcake that had a goofy grin, and took a bite out of it.
"H-how is it?" she stuttered, it was just a cupcake, but the judgement made her nervous.
She watched him scrunch up his face and place the rest of the uneaten cupcake back into the box. He shook his head, and it was clearly because of dissaproval.
"It's too sweet. You know that I don't like sweet things Jieun" he said without hesitation.
She blinked too many times to not realise that she was stunned. Her plan failed? It failed? She didn't dare to look at Yongguk because all sort of thoughts came running through her mind at that moment. On the other hand, Yongguk was glaring at Himchan for being so selfish and heartless. Jieun had just given something to him that she had made solely with her heart in it, but he didn't appreciate it. He never did.
"Y-you hate it?" she asked him when she finally could speak again. Zelo held onto her hand and squeezed it to comfort her. He felt guilty when he said that Himchan would definitely love her gift. Like he didn't hear anything, Himchan got up from his seat and straightened out his suit.
"Come on Yongguk. We're late" he said and walked out the kitchen.
"Himchan!" Yongguk yelled and chased after him, leaving Zelo to comfort the frozen Jieun.
Himchan was about to get into his car when Yongguk pulled him back to face him.
"What was that Himchan?" he shouted at him. Himchan liften an eyebrow, curious to why his friend was being angry.
"What?"
"You just dissed her. She tried so hard for you, but you didn't even say thank you" he poked at his chest.
"We're running late Yongguk. We don't have time for this. So if you want to come along with me, just get in the car" Himchan offered calmly but he was boiling inside. He didn't like it that Yongguk was teeling him what to do.
"Himchan!" Yongguk said out loud. He couldn't believe his friend was so heartless like this.
"Fine. You get there by yourself" Himchan finally said and got into his car. He started the engine and drove off, leaving Yongguk flabbergasted.
Back at the kitchen, Jieun stared at the box of cupcakes that she made especially for him. She felt Zelo squeeze her hand again before getting her attention.
"nuna" he loooked at her with worried eyes. "are you ok?" He realised that it was the stupidest question ever when he knew she obviously wasn't.
"I-I'm ok" she nodded and realised that she just lied to herself.
"nuna!" he called out again when he caught her staring at the cupcakes again. This wasn't easy for him either. Jieun took the box and handed it to Zelo.
Confused, Zelo blinked down at her. He noticed her eyes were already glassy and her lips were quivering.
"Himchan doesn't want these, so you can share them with Yongguk" she offered them to Zelo. She didn't know why, but it felt like she wanted to get rid of those cupcakes for good. Looking at them weakened her because it clearly showed it was a sign of her weakness. She couldn't satisfy Himchan even with her honest heart.
Zelo looked down at the box then back at her. He was so sorry for Jieun that he didn't know what more to say. He knew Himchan was hardheaded and he could be a jerk sometimes, but he never knew that he would be this mean to Jieun.
"I don't want them nuna.." he started but stopped when a tear fell from her cheek. He heard her sigh and wiped the tear off her cheek.
"of course you don't want them. Silly me. Even Himchan hated them." she said as she pulled it back closer to her chest.
"nuna. Don't cry please.." he tried comforting her and held onto her, but she pulled away.
"I'm fine Zelo. I won't cry anymore. Besides, I'll just have these for myself" she backed away and ran upstairs.
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I changed the point of view, because the way I wrote it in the previous chapters were confusing enough for me.
I think the story is becoming more and more complicated lolol to the point where I don't even know what I'm writing anymore. LOL
If you realised while reading it, this is just a part of his past memories with Jieun, so he'll be back in the present soon. I'm kind of getting impatient too
*slaps self* get a hold of yourself!
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