Distance at Hand

Chapter 8 - Revealed

All of them gathered in Kyuhyun's room and the four boys blankly stared at each other while Kyuhyun tried to calm himself down.

“Didn't your parents ever teach you that staring is rude?” Kyuhyun said, leaning back into his bed, “oh wait, we don't have any. Well... 'cept for Ryewook.”

Yesung slapped Kyuhyun on the shoulder, “guess that means you're cool now, right? Gosh, you had me all worried!”

Heechul was still angry at Kyuhyun for scolding him so he kept quiet and refused to speak to him. Eunhyuk just didn't know what to say, and he didn't know if he should ask.

“There was never a problem,” Kyuhyun replied, “shouldn't have worried in the first place.”

“Well, aside from the fact that you looked as if you were gonna either kill or my little brother, I guess there really wasn't anything to worry about,” Yesung said sarcastically, spreading himself across the other bed.

“He wouldn't have complained,” Kyuhyun joked, he felt like kicking himself for losing his temper like that in front of everyone, it was a weak side he didn't want to reveal, not to anyone else.

Kyuhyun's eyes locked with Ryeowook's. Ryeowook looked uncomfortable, but their eyes refused to separate. As always, his eyes were empty; his expression was a little odd, like a fuming child. Kyuhyun kept staring into his eyes, Ryeowook could feel himself blushing, an urge rushing within him.

“Is there something you want to ask me, hyung?” Kyuhyun said. Ryeowook almost parted his lips to reply when Kyuhyun turned to Eunhyuk.

“Sungmin-sshi...” Eunhyuk hesitated before continuing, “are you two close?”

“We are.”

“Friendly close?” Eunhyuk tried again.

“We were.”

“Family close?” He continued.

“At one point.”

“...were you-” Eunhyuk wanted to ask, but was interrupted by Yesung.

“They weren't lovers,” Yesung replied, he knew if the entire question was stated, Kyuhyun might burn with anger again.

Ryeowook didn't know how he should feel about this. He felt somewhat relieved, but he also felt a bit more worried than before. What were they then?

“I'm not saying that being gay is bad,” Eunhyuk tried to explain, “I'm not against it at all.”

Heechul laughed at Eunhyuk's innocence, “Kyuhyun wouldn't care even if you did, he wouldn't care if anyone was against it. He wasn't afraid at all in the past, he didn't let anything get in his way.”

“You can say that again,” Yesung added, he prevented himself from saying anything more in order not to say anything unnecessary, anything too revealing.

“I liked him,” Kyuhyun answered bluntly, “no, I loved him.”

Kyuhyun looked straight into Ryeowook's eyes, those questioning, insecure, black eyes. Eunhyuk couldn't look Kyuhyun straight in the face anymore.

Yesung and Heechul watched as Kyuhyun lost himself in Ryeowook's eyes, they knew things had changed.

“You'd probably never expect this from me, but I've loved and I've hated,” Kyuhyun stated, still staring, “oh, but don't get me wrong, I've never hated Sungmin, not for a moment in my life.”

Eunhyuk knew it was pointless to keep his questions to himself now, “then why did you just...”

“Anger, hyung,” Kyuhyun answered, turning to Eunhyuk, “just anger, anger that has been accumulating for the past seven years.”

“Are you going to tell them?” Heechul finally asked after a long, awkward silence, speaking to Kyuhyun.

“Kyuhyun, I think you should tell Eunhyuk,” Yesung said turning to Ryeowook, “...and Ryeowook. It's about time.”

Sungmin now stood outside the room, he never wanted to hurt Kyuhyun, never planned on leaving such a scar behind on his loved ones. He wanted to listen, he wanted to know what happened during the years he had been gone, he wanted to know what's changed, because he never did.

Kyuhyun remained silent, he was too tired to say anything more. He shut his eyes and leaned back against the wall. As if reading his mind, Yesung spoke for him.

“We work for the black market,” Yesung started to explain, “all of us.”

“By all of us, there are hundreds, hundreds of us grew up together,” Heechul added.

“Kyuhyun was brought in so young, his naive life was cut off so quickly. We all have different jobs, the jobs may sound like any other job you might see out there; marketer, sales representative, public relations, CEO, managers, data collector, debaters, and many more but it's not that simple,” Yesung continued.

“Hundreds of people die everyday because of what we do; we steal, take, force, push, pressure, we do everything we can to get what we want,” Heechul stated.

Yesung nodded in agreement, “we might even kill, and yet, we don't feel sorry, not the least bit.”

Kyuhyun was watching them as they spoke, their faces straight, they posture and actions didn't hint at any lying or uncomfortable feelings at all, he was the same.

“We grew up this way, we watched Kyuhyun grow up this way,” Yesung explained calmly, “we never gave him warmth or care, we didn't know how to.”

“And I didn't want to, not if I wanted him to survive,” Heechul said.

“Which, I doubt mattered much to you anyways,” Kyuhyun joked. Heechul threw a pillow at him, but he caught it.

“Then... Sungmin-sshi...” Ryeowook suddenly asked.

“He ran away,” Kyuhyun answered, once again searching for Ryeowook's eyes.

Sungmin's heart suddenly thumped with excruciating pain, his eyes filled with tears.

“I knew he was going to, I even helped him,” Kyuhyun added to his statement, “I wanted him to escape. He was too good for our home, our hell.”

“That boy didn't say a single word to me, even though I'm his very own one and only blood-brother,” Yesung sighed.

Kyuhyun ignored Yesung's complaint, “he was just too good, too pure, too beautiful to stay there.”

“The answer you were seeking...” Ryeowook prompted.

Yesung and Heechul didn't want to answer for Kyuhyun. It was something Kyuhyun had to face sooner or later.

Sungmin wanted to walk away from the room, he wished he could turn his back on this reality. His tears were unstoppable now, he was striving hard not to cry out, he took large breaths in order to prevent himself from suffocating.

Kyuhyun stayed silent for a while, staring into Ryeowook's raven black eyes. Finally, it was no longer empty. Something was surfacing and Kyuhyun wished he could ravage Ryeowook until he could grab onto it.

“It's something between me and Sungmin,” Kyuhyun finally answered. If Ryeowook truly wanted to know, then he'd have to ask him privately. It wasn't something Kyuhyun wanted to share with everyone, not when Ryeowook was close enough to reach.

All questions were answered. All mysteries were solved. Some worries disappeared and other worries surfaced. But in time, as these men got to know each other better, they found something within themselves that they questioned more than anything in any other person but as of now, all they wanted to was live, love, and laugh.