Chapter 50

My family was never settled in one city. We were so used to moving around places — I mean not outside of the country but, in different cities.  

As a child, I was fine with it, it was for my Father's job anyway.  In fact, I was always thankful whenever we would move because all the schools that I've been at, I was always bullied plus I didn't make any friends.

When we moved to Seoul, I was 12 and  things had changed a little bit. Usually, our family would stay in a city for at least 4 months but unexpectedly my parents informed me that we will stay.

 I was quite aggravated.

Everyone in South Korea knew well that life in Seoul is different. It's more advanced, there's more people, and there's more aggression — that means that I have to deal with bullying all over again but a hundred times more brutal.

On my first day of school, my Father drove me, as usual, like it was a protocol between the two of us. My father could tell right away that I was  becoming anxious.

Though he always lets out this soft reassuring laughter everytime — it annoys me.  As soon as we arrived at my new school, we settled inside the car for a bit. It was his queue to impart his so-called "words of wisdom"

"____, don't be too scared — I mean I always say this but,  keep in mind that not every  person in the school would want to bully you. Just have the confidence to speak your mind, okay? I know,  It may be a difficult response for you because you're a little shy" He patted my head "However, I can assure you that,  it will be different here"

He always says that.

 The homeroom teacher held me by my shoulders and lead me to go infront of the class. I hated being in front of the class, "Okay everyone! This is _____ , our new addition in the class. Please say hi, everyone"

Everyone greeted "Hello ______!" in sync.  I stood still, studying each faces.

Fake.

"You should say hi back, ____" the teacher asked kindly. Giving out acknowledgement  was just hard to do. It was so difficult to trust these people. I hated seeing those group of eyes filled with mockery and those lips that are forced with a friendly smile.  I knew I was going to be bullied again, I could feel the uncivil atmosphere inside the classroom. 

"Oh well. I guess Miss ____ here is still shy" she smiled "It's all right. You will have a blast" she made certain.

I tried to avoid people as much as I could, even though some girls approached

me. I certainly refused to talk to them. I was in doubt. I was shot to pieces. Regardless of my exertion into avoiding these people,  I was still approached by them; I never knew avoiding people was this stressful. 

Hana and Ji Eun, probably one of the loudest people I've ever encountered. Superficially, I thought they were the type people that I definitely must avoid. Remarkably, their constant annoyance became company.

Though, I was different from these people, Somehow, they were the people who understood me the most. I don't exactly remember how our friendship flourished, I just that our relationship had cultivated so naturally. It seems like  they were the people that I was destined to be friends with (as cliche as it sounds)

Everything changed.

Including me.

Hana and Ji Eun.

They're one of the main reasons why I don't want to leave.

I'm terrified of starting over again.

I don't want to make any more friends.

I don't want to like anyone else.

On a bracing night, I had called Ji Eun and Hana over. We were settled in our porch, sitting side by side on a swinging couch. "Hana.. Ji Eun"

They both looked up at the same time.

"I'm moving" I said like a bolt from the blue. The two girls didn't seem to be surprise in fact, they wore no expression or at least it was difficult to determine what they felt.

"Ah... you always move around. But don't change schools okay?!" Hana said promptly.

"The thing is, I have no choice but to change schools"

Ji Eun hopped off the couch and faced me with a threatening expression "What?"

"Yah. Stop joking around. I actually thought you were serious for a moment" Hana said.

"I am!" I exclaimed then sighed "I'm moving to Thailand". The two were render speechless splitingly. They weren't mad, but they were rather confused.  "Oh... When?" Ji Eun relaxed and decided to sit next to you again.

"Next month" I exhaled. ".. It's so stupid. Why does it have to happen now. Things are now going well with me. I really don't want to leave, I'm perfectly content living here, just being with you guys. Do I not deserve to be happy?"

Hana, at once, pulled me into a hug. She was tearing up but she did not say anything. Ji Eun eventually joined in making the embrace even tighter. Surprisingly enough, it was comforting, no matter how difficult it was to breathe.

"does Lu Han know at least?" Ji Eun mumbled.

"..No"

"You... must tell him soon"

"I know"

       I had became a little bit distant from my parents for the past few days. I felt bad but at the same time, I would also feel upset if I ever talk to them. I stopped eating with them for dinner. Often I try to leave early to go to school before they're up to go to work. And as soon as I get home from school, I would head straight to my room.

I know I was acting extremely brutish towards the most important people in my life, but I still couldn't bring myself to talk to them.

On a sunday morning, I got up to prepare for my 'date' with Lu Han . It was actually a relief that I chose my outfit the night before because since my hair was getting longer, It's starting to become difficult to manage.

After combing my hair 45 times and tying it in an almost neat pony tail, I had sucessfully defeated the stubborness of my own hair. But it took me 20 freaking minutes.

As I just finished changing into my pink polka dot sweater and matte black jeans, my mother suddenly came in my room without warning.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

I slowly shifted my gaze at her then back to the mirror to look at myself. "I'm going somewhere wit---"

"Okay, Just confront me. What did I. No" My father popped in the room " What did we do wrong"

I gathered all of my stuff scattered all over my bed and shoved it in to my bag "Nothing, Umma. Look I really need to go, Lu Han's going to get mad at me"

My mother went silent.

"I'll see you later" I said softly. It was actually the first time ever that I have felt the scene froze. No one was moving. No one was talking. It was just dead silent.  They didn't even make eye contact when I said goodbye.

So, I just left the house.

Of course, I was ashamed of what I just did. I never did that to my parents. I was aware that it wasn't their fault. But I'm so upset about this matter that I convert my anger towards my own parents.

Narrator's POV

The atmosphere was quiet while you and Lu Han were walking down the streets. Lu Han made himself attendant even though a conversation has not been initiated. Before, he did not comprehend your reticent attitude.

At first, he was quite bothered by the fact that you were so quiet around him. And he simply couldn't forget about those moments when you would avoid him. He actually thought that you despised him or maybe he had done something wrong.

But now, he understood clearly. You were very timid. You were scared of messing up. Yet, you were the type of person who would speak your mind if you wanted to. Although he sensed that there was something wrong, he just couldn't bring himself to ask.

On the other hand, you were a little bit diffident to initiate a conversation. You felt like you have to. But you seriously had no idea on what to talk about or ask him about as much as you wanted to talk.  But at the same time, all you could think about were your parents and how you could possibly tell him about you moving to Thailand without surprising him.

You and Lu Han ended up at a bus stop. He pulled out his wallet and digged in for some change. He told you to put out hand as he counted coins.

"Oppa. Where we going?" you suddenly asked.

However, busy Lu Han just beamed a smile and continued to count coins.

The two of you were probably the youngest people inside the bus. The bus driver also seemed shocked by the fact that you and Lu Han even got on the bus. As you were finally settled in your seats, Lu Han  pointed out that it will be a long drive. At least an hour or so. You were fine with it, just as long as you were with him, it will be perfect.

You took out your back pack and one by one, you pulled out all of the snacks and drinks that you brought. Lu Han was quite impressed by how prepared you were as if you read his mind.  "Wow, you knew we were going for a long drive today huh? " He chuckled.

"No. no. Last night, I just had this idea that I should bring some snacks. Just in case. I guess that my innermost thought figured out that we were going out... somewhere"

"I didn't know that you were a psychic?"

You laughed "I didn't know that I was either"

As the bus ride had taken longer in time, it was no doubt that the vehicle had brought you two farther away from familiar places. It was nice. It helped you to not think about your problems. For a moment you felt like you were independent; an adult. Just this simple bus ride was already like an adventure.

Slowly, your eyelids became heavier as seconds passed. Your head was swaying  but you tried your best to stay awake. However, the battle against your drowsiness had lead you to give up eventually.

Lu Han had been so amused just watching you fight your sleep.  He was laughing rather loudly even though you haven't noticed.

Suddenly your head fell forward. In an instant, Lu Han caught your head before it can hit something. Gently, he place your head back against the head rest. But your head had easily fell to the side, landing on his shoulder.

Lu Han did not dare to move it, he liked the small contact that you had unintentionally initiated. He just noticed how neat your hair was, very slick; not a single strand stood out on your face. 

The boy had taken this chance to admire your face. Your skin was more golden compared to his. Your eyebrows were as dark as your hair and as well as your eyelashes.

Your lips were very round as if you had no cupid's bow. And your face shape was quite round and small, almost like an apple.

He knew very well that it wasn't perfectly structured nor did your skin looked flawless.But, it was certainly human-like. He had somehow found it breathtaking.

Lu Han had unconciously planted a kiss on your cheek. You have not reacted, which made him relieved.

Moments later, your eyes had fluttered open as Lu Han's hand had lightly shook your shoulder.

"Hey, we're here. Get up"

You stood up right away, rubbing your eyes.  As you two got off the bus, you had found yourself infront of the well known university in South Korea "Yonsae University"

You had wondered why he would bring you in a place that so... big. Lu Han had gently held your hand. The two of you roamed around different campuses.

Although, it wasn't as fun as you thought it would be. It wasn't because you were tired. It just annoyed you that even though Lu Han had made it obvious that he is dating you, Lu Han still earned adoration from other women.

Sometimes, you would hear others asking each other whether you two were actually a couple and some came up to Lu Han to surely express their interest towards him.

The response that you constantly recieved from girls from your school.  Though Lu Han had been straight forward as ever. He replied to each girl, and made it clear that he was with you. And Yes. you were his girlfriend.

The thought of it just made cheery. It was still difficult to believe that you have earned that title.

    Eventually, the two of you had ended up at a rooftop where it gave a view of the whole school. You two were finally alone and being there had given you the chance to talk one on one after those exhausting encounters with college girls. 

"Sorry I couldn't bring you somewhere.. more romantic?"

You shrugged "It's quite romantic" you admitted. Without warning, Lu Han caught your hand and he held it so tightly.

"This is the only thing that I can do for now since I don't really have the money"

"It's fine"

For a moment, it went silent. The two of you took a moment to scan through the view. The sun was finally setting and it had became warmer in temperature, the snow was melting into water ponds. It wasn't awkward, it was rather calming. Lu Han's breathing resonated  against your ear. Your pulse was speeding again. 

"____"

You slowly shifted your gaze at him. "yeah?"

Lu Han's gaze was so different from the usual. It was so.. gentle. Slowly he had leaned in towards you.

He had planted a warm kiss. As he slowly pulled himself away, you could still feel the texture of his lips, it was quite chapped but it was so soft.

Instantly, you shifted your gaze somewhere else, you really didn't expect that to happen. It was quiet again. Lu Han noticed how you were avoiding his gaze, he suddenly felt bad about what just happened.

"Did I  do it right?" He asked.

"I don't know... Is there some kind of way to kiss someone properly"

"... That's why I'm asking you"

"I don't know. That was my first time"

"Oh. Me too"

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Sorry for the sloppiness, I'll post part two later. My internet isn't working properly, and I'm using my phone to update OTL