Chapter 5 

Brothers (Part 2)

Sungyeol is standing under the sun. Tint of sunshine dust sparkling on soft layers of auburn hair, brown eyes twinkling, nose crinkling playfully and small lips curving into a wide gummy smile. The whole riverbank is lit up by the magic of his smile. Even the blazing sun of an August morning turns pale in the presence of Sungyeol. Nothing ever shines more brightly than Myungsoo’s childhood friend. And when that bright smile turns into a laugh, the sound of it sends the shorter boy straight into daze. Everything is muted and blurred out. Myungsoo’s senses are only capable of admiring Sungyeol’s glistening eyes, Sungyeol’s childlike gummy smile, Sungyeol’s carefree screams and laughters, Sungyeol himself and all of him.

And then Myungsoo wakes up. Hands on the edge of shredding the nearest thing to him, head on the edge of bursting, tears on the edge of falling and heart already hurting. Is his hyung home? He must be and maybe he just got into a fight with Jiyoon again. A pretty serious one at that. Because Myungsoo can hear this sorrowful, almost mourning, music blasting out everywhere. That’s what his brother plays with max volume whenever he takes a sadness nap in order to distract himself from the effects of a momentary breakup. Yea, that must be it.

But when Myungsoo opens the door of his brother’s room, he sees no one and suddenly, hears nothing any more. He doesn’t know why he starts to panic but in his frenzy state, he struggles through mountains of dirty laundry and unused stuff to the desk where his brother’s speakers are. They aren’t even plugged in.

Suddenly, there’s no strength left in his knees and Myungsoo flops down on the ground. The dream he had just now plays in his mind again, slowly and clearly. That quaint mellow music fades in like a soundtrack.

And that is when Myungsoo remembers. Sungyeol was his world, his whole world.

-----

- That’s why I said he himself crashed his whole world down.

Sunggyu finished his sentence with a sip of cold bitter coffee. He’s been spending the whole morning trying to stuff some breakfast into his stomach and bits about Myungsoo’s friendship with Sungyeol into Sungjong’s mind. The pretty thing is his younger brother’s only friend at school now. He deserves to know parts of the story. Sunggyu decided with a shrug earlier that morning.

- Wait, you mean your brother… loves Sungyeol hyung?

Sungjong asks. Narrowing eyes, skeptical tone and everything.

- Duh, yes.

Sunggyu answers. Nonchalant shrug, certain tone and everything.

- So he’s gay?

- Who?

- Your brother!

This time Sungjong can only roll his eyes at the elderly in front of him. Gosh, he almost forgot that older people had harder time to follow a conversation.

- Haven’t really given that any thought…

Sunggyu mumbles after a considerable amount of time and some pretentious sips of coffee.

- Ehh, hyung, your brother is a guy. Sungyeol hyung, despite having quite a feminine face, is a guy too. A giant one at that. How come it’s never crossed your mind that Myungsoo has to be gay to be in love with Sungyeol?

Sungjong leans in closer to make the older look at him to make sure that his words actually get into that scattered brain. Sunggyu has never really look focused but right now, it’s actually worse than that. The perplexed brother has this stunned and stupefied look in his eyes that makes Sungjong wonders if he’s thinking too hard or has already out mentally.

- But you know…

Sunggyu starts to speak. His voice dry, eyes dazed with innocent confusion.

- I’ve never really thought to label my brother or his feelings.

- What do you mean by that?

Sungjong tilts his head a little and questions the older carefully. His voice sinks into a whisper.

- I mean.. does it really matter? Whether he’s gay or not? He loves Sungyeol romantically or not?

Sunggyu asks, voice filled with honest concerns. He’s so used to the thought of Myungsoo being in love with his best friend that he has never expected that it would come as a surprise and lead to other questions to other people. So now that Sungjong, the only new, or in other words, post-Sungyeol addition to his brother’s life, has phrased out other concerns about these feelings that Myungsoo has towards his childhood friend, there’s this sudden anxiety clouding over his mind as he watches Sungjong freeze a little with a frown slowly forming on the smooth skin of his forehead.

- No… I guess.. no.. not really..

After what seems like an eternity and a bit more to the self-conscious brother, Sungjong, as if exhausted by his own thoughts, flops back onto his seat, chooses to look down at the ground for a while as he mutters out his jumbled thoughts.

- Hey..

Sunggyu suddenly raises his body up a little off the chair, one arm stretching far enough to let the tip of his rough hand brush over neatly combed brown hair. Sungjong, obviously taken aback by the sudden but gentle action, looks up and his eyes meet with Sunggyu’s ones at once. All he can see is dark brown orbs glistening with determination, the sort that would make any younger brothers feel warm and encouraged.

- I don’t know if my brother’s gay or straight or whatever. Actually, I don’t give a .

And that makes Sungjong smile. Not just a little bit but a wide bright smile.

- All I care is for my younger brother to be happy... Damn, I sound like such a sap.

The older almost slams his face against the table as the feeling of embarrass and self-consciousness rapidly rises up within him.

- Not the first time today, hyung.

Sungjong quickly turns back into his diva mode. Arms folding, lips pouting and tone laced with thinly veiled mockery.

- Yeah yeah..

Sunggyu smiles in defeat and stands up completely, hands in pocket, heading towards the counter. The pretty boy follows him closely, trying hard not to do a skip as he suddenly feels overwhelmed with strange happiness. He tries to keep his eyes on the back of Sunggyu. The older doesn’t really have broad shoulders or the sort of rough looking and muscular back that qualifies his behind appearance as an example of the strong and extremely manly category (which is Sungjong’s personal favourite by the way). But all of a sudden, as his stare fixate on the older’s back, Sungjong’s overwhelmed with a strong sense of security, the feeling of looking at something so great, so safe that he only wishes to be in its presence forever. The feeling that he always had when he was little and held in his dad’s bony but strong arms.

That is until Sunggyu abruptly stops and turns around to throw at Sungjong a nonchalant look.

- Hey kiddo, I left my wallet at home. Pay the bill for me.

_______________________

Dongwoo quietly sits down on a chair far in the corner of the coffee shop. He has just seen Sunggyu walking out with the sharp-mouthed diva he once met at the Kims’ house. Good thing that Sungyeol’s shift hasn’t started yet. He bets those two don’t even know his little brother works here and it’s still too soon for the younger to see anyone that can remind him of his long-term heartbreaker now. Dongwoo thinks with a heavy sigh and turns to wave at a waiter to get his order.

- What can I get for you, sir?

A handsome and unfamiliar face with smile so bright that one can’t expect anything else but brilliant service from its owner appears in front of Dongwoo. This boy must be new because he doesn’t remember seeing him working here as he frequents the shop at least twice a day either to check on his little brother or to get himself some food and drinks before going to his dance academy right across the street.

- Just get him a tiramisu and a cappuccino!

An enthusiastic voice chimes in.

- Howon, you know your hyung well.

Dongwoo laughs and attempts to give his fellow classmate at the dance academy, Lee Howon, who also happens to be the son of this coffee shop’s owner, an approving pat on the before getting smacked rather painfully.

- Hyung!

Howon half-hearted whines with a fake grimace on his face. He’s about to latch his whole upper body onto Dongwoo to provoke him into one of their daily childish wrestle when a hesitant cough interrupts the both of them.

- Uhmm… sooo.. a tiramisu and a cappuccino?

The new guy asks, eyes still glimmering with amusement at the scene in front of him. He hasn’t been here long enough to see his boss’ son letting loose like this. The guy almost scared the out of him this morning when he yelled at him for 3 minutes straight after he got two orders mixed up.

- Yeah.. ah, no, let me get that for him. You’re looking for a place to stay, right, new guy?

Howon turns his attention back to his employee (he likes to call them that even though just like Howon, they’re all his dad’s employee to be exact) and asks with a friendly pat on his shoulder. The boy jerks his body up a bit in surprise before composing himself again to speak.

- It’s Woohyun and yes, how do you know?

- I overheard you talking to Soojung just now.

Howon states matter-of-factly, which earns a raise of eyebrows from Woohyun.

- Anyway, Dongwoo here is looking for another roommate too. The rent is cheap and I’ve seen his apartment. It’s not bad really. So maybe you two can, you know, tal-

- REALLY? You have a vacant room in your apartment?

Woohyun almost shouts at Dongwoo in exaltation. Man, it’s been hard looking for a place to stay with a reasonable price around here.

- Yea… but actually, I have.. a brother staying with me so we need to talk to him too…

Dongwoo replies slowly with cautious eyes and two arms holding tightly onto his body to shield himself from Woohyun’s excitement as Howon shakes his head while retreating into the kitchen.

- When can we meet this brother of yours then?

Woohyun immediately asks, the beam on his face replaced with a leading look. Dongwoo can almost see his invisible tail wiggling behind.

- Well actually he works he--

- Hyung! You’re here again?

There he is. His little brother and his loud mouth.

- Sungyeol, come here for a second.

Dongwoo stands up and calls his brother from his table, making Woohyun turn around to acknowledge the presence of their interrupter.

- Make it quick hyung. I’m swamped over here. Soojung already left me with all of her orders!

Woohyun observes the lanky guy putting on his waiter vest while walking briskly to where he and Dongwoo is. He’s got quite a pretty face, Woohyun must say.

- What is it now hyung?

Scratch that, he’s got a really pretty face. Really really pretty face.

- And who is he?

No, he’s beautiful.

And beautiful creatures have just the magic to activate Woohyun’s hunter instinct (as he so greasily likes to put it).

- Hello, I’m Woohyun, Nam Woohyun. Has anyone told you that you’re beautiful?

__________________

Sunggyu enters his room with an unexplainable uneasiness in his mind. The house is too quiet. But it’s not like it’s not always like this. Their parents aren’t home today and his little brother is the type who enjoys serenity and boredom so this silence, it shouldn’t freak him out like this. But it does anyway. And Sunggyu almost urges himself to just turn around, get out of the house again until he hears the rough sound of papers rustling in his room.

As he opens his door, Sunggyu finds his brother lying completely still on the ground, amidst scattered music sheet and broken CDs.

- Myungsoo… what happened?

The older watches the scene before his eyes, his feet freezing, hands struggling to reach out. He wants nothing else than to rush to his younger brother’s side, to shakes him out of whatever nightmare he’s having in the middle of this summer day. But he can’t. Sunggyu can’t move even just a muscle.

- Tell me.. Myungsoo… TELL ME!

Demented and defeated by Myungsoo’s complete lack of response, Sunggyu starts to yell at the lying boy.

- Say something! Godammit, say something, Myungsoo!

And he keeps yelling until his throat hurt and his eyes blur. Until his younger brother weakly turn his head to his direction. Confusion, frustration and tears mark visible on his face.

- Please, Myungsoo, please…

Sunggyu finally manages to step closer into the room, slowly and wobbly.

- Tell hyung… tell hyung, okay? Just tell hyung..

And he keeps saying that over and over again until Myungsoo head is on his lap and hands are tightly held in his.

- Hyung, what’s wrong with me? What is he doing to me?

Myungsoo suddenly speaks, voice dry and emotionless. It takes Sunggyu merely three seconds to register the question but a long pause to think of an answer. Because Sungjong’s question is echoing loud and clear in his head.

“Is Myungsoo gay?”

Maybe, just maybe, Sungjong isn’t the only one who’s bothered with this question that Sunggyu has deemed unnecessary.

- Hyung?

Myungsoo shifts his head to look at his older brother directly. His eyes are wide and expecting. But more than anything, Sunggyu can only see the hint of fear in those dark orbs.

- No, Myungsoo, there’s nothing wrong with you.

He speaks with the most convincing confidence that he can manage and a tight squeeze on Myungsoo’s bony hands.

- There’s nothing wrong with you and everything will be alright.

A small and tired smile appears on Myungsoo’s face. Sunggyu can see every facial muscle of his brother struggling to relax into the bliss of flimsy relief and it almost makes him cry. If only there’s a record he knows of that can do a better job at cheering up his brother than his ineffectual and facile words. A song that can really make the both of them feel alright again.

###

Author’s note

Yea, I know that this update is later than what I promised by one week. I’ve been struggling to keep my ideas in place. I have too many ideas for this and I feel like I’m draggin things a lil bit. Am I? Well the female character was supposed to be introduced in this chapter but the conversation between Sunggyu and Sungjong didn’t really turn out as planned so yea, she’s gotta wait a bit more. I feel like even I have no idea where I’m going every time I write this. It sorta gives me some thrills tho lol

Anw, I’m having a mild fever so I’m gonna go lie down a bit now. That’s why I can’t really do the comments reply section today. I’m very sorry but you guys understand, right? You gotta know that I’m thankful as always *bows*

P/S: Guys, you've all listened to Only tears, right? Ugh, that song is beautiful. If you think the Myungsoo's parts in this chapter are a bit overly dramatic then blame that song. I was listening to it as I wrote all the bits about Myungsoo so yea...