Chapter 5

Brothers (Part I)

Dongwoo wakes up the next morning finding himself in a sea of blankets, half of his body already dangling off the bed, the other half intently focusing on keeping as close as possible to the sleeping figure next to him, that is his dearest brother. With one arm starting to feel numb under the weight of Sungyeol’s head, he sighs pondering how the hell he manged to sleep in this position when the only thing keeps him from falling off this small bed is a thin blanket stretching its limit to pull his leg, the one that’s not on Sungyeol’s but far off the edge of the bed now, into its secure wrap. But then again, looking at the heartbroken little boy beside him, Dongwoo supposes it must have been easier sleeping like that than to sleep with a ripped open chest and two eyes bursting with pains caused by their own incapacity to store all the stinging tears. Just because he’s so used to seeing his brother crying doesn’t mean it hurts him any less every time he sees the younger in this state. And judging from the bits of Myungsoo’s conversation that he accidentally heard earlier this morning, it seems like things are even more messed up this time.

“What the hell have you done this time, Myungsoo?”

Dongwoo shakes his head lightly (in fear of waking up his exhausted brother) wondering if it’s okay for him to put all the blames on Myungsoo this time. He only let him be with his brother for about two hours and he already managed to wreck Sungyeol this much. He doesn’t know if he wants to see the other kid anymore because if he does, he may as well just punch him hard in the face. Or he won’t. Because Sungyeol has been loving Myungsoo for so long and so much that his love has influenced Dongwoo’s attitude towards the younger Kim at some point. Frankly speaking, he never did spend that much time around that kid to figure him out. All he knows is that Myungsoo was his dear brother’s hero in kindergarten, best friend in elementary school and crush since middle school. Dongwoo listened when little Sungyeol bragging about his daring little friend climbing trees and pushing swings for him. He listened when grade schooler Sungyeol proudly acclaimed his friendship with the same little brat who had grown out of swing sets to lead his brother into exciting neighbourhood adventures. He listened when adolescent Sungyeol sobbing out his confusion about these newfound feelings that he suddenly had towards the best friend. And he listened when a tired but no longer confused Sungyeol quietly telling him “I love Myungsoo” while lying still on the floor of his yet to be furnished room in their new house. All these years and all he’s been doing is to listen. So it’s only natural that the firm affection Sungyeol has towards the other kid rubbed him off a little. A part of him has grown to be fond of Myungsoo, enough to keep him from yelling at the cruelly oblivious kid when he called his little brother after they moved away (he would have shouted out Sungyeol’s love confession for him but instead he only lied about his absence in the house to Myungsoo and then hung up as fast as possible to run into their share bedroom to hug his brother so tight that he’d feel to suffocated to remember crying). Enough to keep him from slamming Myungsoo’s door open last night to ask him what the hell he meant by “finding me a girlfriend” and what he would do about Sungyeol now. He wanted to sock the kid in his face but then he remembered how this hopelessly in love brother of his would always tell him “It’s not Myungsoo’s fault” and repeat it over and over again until Dongwoo could feel no more resentment towards the ignorant fool. And when that almost didn’t work, he reminded himself of the conversation he had earlier that night with Sunggyu when they were drinking the amount of booze that could intoxicate the whole neighbourhood, in which the older man managed to hiccup out some rather incoherent but sincere words that he could only fully string into a meaningful sentence afterwards. “My little brother, my poor, pathetic little brother, he died after that boy left but he has no idea, no ing idea. He’s dead and he doesn’t even know.” That was the thing that truly stopped him from harming Myungsoo then. Because he knew that he needed to come home to his brother and tell him that no matter what happened between the two of them last night, it didn’t speak any for the truth, the whole truth. And that Sunggyu may be inadequate but he’s not a ty brother and if he says that Myungsoo needs Sungyeol then they must believe it.

But Dongwoo couldn’t even speak a thing after he got home. Because there right in front of his eyes was his brother, completely broken. He was lying dreadfully still, eyes not blinking once as tears kept flowing out. It was almost like watching a horror movie where the victim was killed so brutally that blood was bursting out into a red stream pouring down from their eyes. Except Sungyeol’s blood wasn’t red but translucent. And its taste was a stinging salty flavour when Dongwoo pulled him into his arms and kissed his cheeks again and again in panic.

He couldn’t tell his brother anything, any from all the things he had in his head the whole time he was running back home from Sunggyu’s house. He could only keep mumbling gibberish hoping that it sounded close to a lullaby and patting the small of Sungyeol’s back. He wanted nothing more than to feel his brother’s fragile body relax into slumber in his arms. Dongwoo wanted him to sleep, so that he would be able to wake up from all this. So now, as the sun has risen up and intruding the small bedroom with its blaring lights, Dongwoo decides that today should be a new day for his brother. A total fresh start. Without Myungsoo.

Because no matter how sweet, and kind and heroic the boy is, he’s still not worth all these pains. No one’s worth that much.

And with a slight shift to get closer to the sleeping boy, Dongwoo kisses his forehead gentle and whispers almost inaudibly.

“I love you. And I won’t let you kill yourself any more than this.”

“Who the hell are you?”

Sunggyu rubs the side of his head, frustrated with the awful headache he should have expected when he decided that he would drink even more than usual last night. Wrinkling his forehead into one ugly frowns, the hangover boy squints his tiny eyes at the familiar face, which is still not familiar enough for him to think of a name by the way, of the early visitor standing in front of his door now.

“I’m Sungjong and this is the third time you’ve asked my name. Honestly, have you ever been sober enough to remember your brother’s only friend’s name?”

Pretty face. Sharp mouth. Oh, Sunggyu remembers now.

“Feisty one, you are.”

Sunggyu smiles amusedly (although in his miserable state, it looks more like he’s grimacing) before turns back into the house leaving the door open to let Sungjong follow suit.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, old man. Now I need to see your brother. Is he up yet?”

Sungjong immediately lands his skinny on the couch, sitting comfortably with one leg crossing the other. Sunggyu wonders if he’s a guest or the owner of this house.

“Kid’s upstairs. Not sure if he’s awake tho.”

The older scratches his head furiously even though he isn’t feeling that itchy. He’s just sort of anxious around strangers in the morning. It’s not really his ideal time to be social.

“Well, he didn’t sleep much last night so..”

Sungjong trailed off with a sympathetic shrug.

“How do you even know that?”

Sunggyu stops abusing his nape for a moment to turns around looking at Sungjong with a raised eye brow.

“Well cuz he phoned me at 1 in the morning?”

The little just gives another shrug. This is pissing Sunggyu off.

“Let’s go get breakfast.”

“Why???”

“Because I can’t talk properly without food in my stomach.”

“And how does that have anything to do with me?”

“Kid, shut that pretty mouth of yours up and only open it when I tell you to. Now go with me or I’ll kick your bony out of my house and never let you in again.”

Three seconds of dubious silence and finally a nod.

“Fine but I still don—“

“Shut up.”

###

Author's Note

So yea, that was part 1 of this chapter. I’m planning on finishing part 2 in four days and post it as soon as I get home from my family trip, which starts tomorrow btw. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to update all this time. Exams were horrible as expected so I sorta lost motivation to do anything after that. But I’ve gained back my inspiration now (thank all the Gods for good books and films and esp music like Submarine’s OST).

Anw, here comes the comments reply section! Srsly guys, your comments make me a very happy ty writer XD

uuleunhaecloudy: Yes, not so soon. This may be spoiler but honestly, I can’t bear breaking MyungYeol apart so there’ll be happy ending. We all just gotta be patient XD

midnightBee: I couldn’t stand seeing him cry either (why the hell I make him cry this much in my fic remains a mystery to even myself). Yeol’s just such a precious baby to me so don’t worry, I’ll make this a happy story for him in the end. Myungsoo may break his friend’s heart (and his own heart in the process) more in the future tho… Anw, thanks for the comment on my characterization :D

midnightBee: kid’s hard to figure, aint he? I like to surprise myself while writing so maybe it’ll turn out a bit too much for you guys. Like this time when I was writing chapter 5, I forgot to save the document and had to rewrite the bit abt Dongwoo and after rewriting it, the story has become totally different from the original draft lol I’m glad that my writing still hans’t let you down yet tho. And I know I promised more Sungjong but he wouldn’t appear much until the next part…

Thanks for everyone again. You’ve been giving me all the supports I need to keep writing XD