Chapter XVIII: Need let you go, but I can’t…

Jang Woo Hyuk Ft. Jo Hyun Ah - Shouting Out To Memory

“I’m sorry…But I…Can’t stay with you…” he mumbles.

That night, Young Mi sits by the living room with her sister, she is in her in seventh month.
“About two months and our sweet Yong-Sun-ah will come into this world,” Mi Sun rubs over her belly, “Nae, he is luckily,” Young Mi smiles.
“OMO!” Seo Chan runs into living room, “Look what I found!” she swings with a letter.
“What is it?” asks Young Mi.
“Uhm…It’s for you, it has only written your name,” says Seo Chan.
“I will read it in my room,” Young Mi takes the letter and goes upstairs.
Mi Sun looks worriedly, “I hope she is going be fine soon.”
Seo Chan nods, “Nado…”

Young Mi looks at the note, same writing style as L.Joe.
She opens the letter; it was small letter…she sees.

Dear Young Mi,

I’m sorry to say it like this.
I can’t be with you, it not you, but I.
Sorry, but it’s better that we separate from each other.
Next week is the divorce paper coming to you.
I think I need to think more about it…It’s better that we go on our own ways.
Sorry.
Nevertheless, thank you for the amazing memories that you gave me.

Love Byunghun

Young Mi drops the letter, why is he unsure about himself?
When she tries to call him after weeks, he didn’t pick up his phone.
She sighs, I want a good reason, she thinks.
And tears are rolling down…

It’s night, L.Joe goes up on his bed.
Ruffles through his hair, he stands up.
He looks at his phone, missed calls and texts of Young Mi.
He didn’t look at it, why should he…
Then he decided to looks through the missed texts…

What do you mean?
Did I do something wrong?
What is the reason?
I can’t let you go…

L.Joe turns his phone; he lies on his blanket…
He sighs; I should sleep…he thinks.

I reach my hand out, seeing Young Mi walking away with a child.
The child’s smile was just like mine, but she walks away with her.
Yes, it was a girl…
I just stand there, watching her walking away.
Nevertheless, I just reach my hand out, when I want to say something…
No sounds come out my voice.
When I want to move, I couldn’t like I was paralyzed.
Seeing her fading away with the girl in the sunlight, why and who is she…
However, I feel tears are rolling down…
Then the girl turns around, she smiles and waves at me…
She looks like Young Mi and me…
Nevertheless, her face turn from bright to teary…Tears were rolling down over her cheeks.
Why is she crying?

L.Joe’s eyes jump open, he even comes over, and he shakes his head.
Who is that little girl? It was just a dream, but why is she is crying?
Then his door open, someone steps in.
He looks up, it was a maid.
Why am I look to the door, were I hoping that Young Mi came in?
He stands up, “I’m taking a shower, clean this mess there,” he tells the maid.
She nods.

Young Mi throws up by the toilet and she stands up.
She changes her clothes and fresh her up.
She decided to come to L.Joe, she wants a reason from him.

When she comes in the Lee mansion, she looks around, she asks to one of the maid, if he went away.
She said from no, he was in the garden.

She sees L.Joe sitting by the poolside.
With silence pace, she walks to him, when she touches his shoulder.
L.Joe looks up; it has been couple of weeks, which they meet only like this.
“What was the meaning of that letter,” she says with her soft voice.

-L.Joe’s P.O.V-

I keep silence, “Answer me,” I see her desperate eyes.
Nevertheless, I keep silence, how should I answer this…
There was I sitting by the poolside, with the girl I love…
Wanting the answer of me, how can I answer it, it was already difficult to write I wanted a divorce with her.
Even I still love her.
I see she still waits my answers, the wind blows through her.
“Answer this then…” I look at her, tears are rolling over her pink cheeks, “Do you still love me…”
I bite my lip, but I couldn’t answer it…
She sniffs, “Yes, I still do…” I answer with clear voice, she looks at me, “Then…Why…”
Before she could finish her sentence, “I don’t know, I need time to think, many things goes through my mind right now…”
She nods, “I just want to hear one answer…Did you kissed Seul Hee…Last week…”
I couldn’t answer that, yes, Seul Hee kissed me, but I have no feelings for her and how does she know about this…
“If you keep silence, then it mean it’s true…So it’s true…” her voice sounds so broken, that hurts my ears.
I never wanted her seeing like this state.
She sighs deeply, “I know enough…If you want a divorce, I understand it…”
When she turns her back to me, I reach my hand out, but she already walk away.
The same way in the dream of mine, she goes further of me, why…
I don’t want this…
I stand up, but when I want to shout her name, I couldn’t shout, it likes my voice is gone for a moment and my body don’t listen what I wanted to do.

She turns around, seeing my face.
She doubts, but she turns back and walks further…

I feel hurt and pain in my chest, what have done?
Better to say, who is that little girl in my dream…Will this come true?

date added: 18 April 2012

Comment corner:

Weird14kimchi: haha, -cough- please don't spill the blood when you kill her, if you really plan to do it.
VampireKnightFan4Eva: Yeah, I never thought about it, beside she isn't a best friend, she is just childhood friend with feelings for L.Joe, sorry.
MayMadiha: Yeah, the only problem, I do't live in Malaysia, I live in the freaking Nethterlands...So -sigh- I wished Kpop was here more popular...T-T