BREATHE IN...
 

“Do you need anything?”
 

I can’t breathe. He stood up and walked across to where I am. The time stopped or my perception was just relatively slow that I never realized how close he was now. He stood in front. I blinked and looked away. And it's a bad idea. He held my chin and looked straight in my eyes. 
 

“Eh… I need a shirt. Can I borrow one?” Stupidly I look up, what am I doing?
 

He caressed my hair from top to its end tenderly. I frozed.
 

“Let me see…”
 

He grabbed my hand again, but this time gently. He opened the opposite door. I gasped as I see what’s inside it. He rested his hand on my shoulder and led me inside.
 

“Whoa!”
 

“I never reveal this to anyone” he said.
 

THIS MUST BE THE HUGHEST CLOSET I’VE EVER SEEN! It’s bigger than my own room or probably our whole apartment. I look at him and he smiled encouraging me to look around. I look like a kid in wonderland, touching every precious clothes that I see. He seems amused in return.

“Do you find it weird?
 

“I love it. I love it here. We share the same sense of style. I just can’t buy this one or this one.” I point on random stuff “It’s too expensive for me” I laughed.
 

“I can let you have this if you like” He offered, I shook my head. He chuckled.
 

I wandered more, “You have a couch here too?”
 

“Yeh” He grinned
 

I sat acting as calm as possible. He followed too beside me.
 

“When it’s hard to pick something, I just sit like this. Just like now.” He looked at me. He chuckled then looked away. He is somewhat thoughtful at the moment. I wonder what he is thinking.

 

“I guess it’s hard to pick clothes when you have tons of it, right?” I replied.
 

He shook his head. Is it not the clothes? I guess not.
 

He stood up abruptly, “Just get whatever you want”
 

“Thank you” I said.
 

Then he left. He does that all the time, the one I call sweet-turning-cold syndrome. Now I can already deal with it normally with no hard feelings. I accepted his disease.
 

Everything is just so fancy that I settled with a plain white shirt just like what he is wearing now. I was surprised that he doesn’t have any sweatpants, at all! Or maybe its hidden somewhere just along with these huge pile of clothes.
 

I went back to the bathroom and gather the most acceptable pair of undies. I wear everything in one go. Well, it looks acceptable. I wear a white shirt and slightly silky baby pink shorts. Even though this is not what I’m used to, this is the best possible I can do. I stared at my reflection for a moment trying to sink everything in. Breathe in, breathe out.
 

I find him in the couch with his laptop. I stand for a moment deciding what to do and how to approach. He glanced up as if sensing someone is here.
 

“Come sit”
 

My feet moved without my consent to where he is. I can’t control it. I managed to sit not too far from him avoiding any failure in my side. He is completely engrossed with what he is doing. I start watching the TV.
 

“Would you like some iced tea? This is good for you”
 

He poured a glass and gave it to me. Then gets back on what he is doing. I guess I need to be silent.
 

“Dara”
 

I slightly jumped as I hear my name, all of a sudden, why?
 

“Eh?” I looked at him and found him still busy with his laptop. 
 

Then again, all of a sudden, “I think I’m starting to like you” he said as he glanced up. I look down.
 

“Do you feel the same way Dara?”
 

He closed his laptop and put it away. He started moving closer.
 

“Sorry, for being so straightforward. Did I shock you? I guess you’re thinking I had something to do with this.” He scratched his head. “Seunghyun likes to trick me A LOT, and believe me he had done worse. But I swear I had nothing to do with this.”
 

I’m gripping my hands so hard. It felt like I’m about to break my bones. I closed my eyes and think of my apartment. Yes, I’m just sitting in my apartment just like any other day. But this is not like any other day; this is definitely not my couch on where I am sitting. This is definitely not a dream.
 

I felt him touch my hand. Shocked, I pull my hands away.
 

“I guess not, sorry. This is weird. You probably want to go home now and…”
 

“I like you too” Abruptly my stupid mouth interrupted him answering without my consent too.
 

As the words came out my mouth, it seemed like I mean it. It’s not that I deny it or anything, but it seemed like the words are true. It didn't sound that I said it just not to hurt his feelings. It doesn’t need any proof that I like him. It wouldn’t need any convincing that I like him and that’s the truth. But like is not the proper word. I love him, without any doubt.
 

In a swift moment I felt his arms encircled me. He hugged me tightly.
 

“That’s good to hear” he said closed to my ear and never felt happier than this moment.

Half an hour later, I find myself sitting on his bed. I told him that I don't like to sleep yet but instead, he carried me like a kid to his room and dumped me to his bed. He is now fixing something on the wall. Then he knelt in front of me.
 

“You sleep here, I'll sleep outside"
 

"NO, this is your room. You should sleep here."
 

"NO" He laughed. "Don't worry, I sometimes sleep in the couch. This bed is too big for me. I feel like I'm drowning on it sometimes"
 

“That’s why… It’s big… We can share it, just put pillows between us” I felt my face turning red and I am starting to sound desperate. I was trying to compose myself when he touched my nose. 
 

“NO, you should sleep alone. I might do something if I sleep here”
 

Electric shock ran through my veins again. Someone, please kill me now!
 

“Goodnight” He kissed my forehead. And he left.
 

BREATHE OUT, finally!