It was raining that day.

Hoya stood under the rain, letting the rain wash away all his sorrows, his pain, and his memories, but much to his disappointment, all his feelings remained when he was pulled out from the rain. Sungjong pushed him into the bathroom and begged Hoya to please take a warm shower before he caught a cold.

So Hoya got under the hot water, hoping maybe this time, the water will wash away and erase all his emotions. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander to her, his first and only love, Jiyoung. They met in seventh grade, confessed their feelings for each other in eighth grade, and had been dating ever since. Well, that was until she left him.

---//---

“Hyung? Are you still showering?” Sungjong called out from outside the bathroom door, sneaking a glance at his watch. Sungjong had heard the water running for almost an hour, and he was worried about his friend (and the water bill).

Hoya’s eyes shot open when he heard the younger male’s voice. He had not even realized he had been in the water so long, but once he felt his fingers and toes all pruney, he knew it was time to get out. “Yeah. Sorry.”

He turned the water off and reached for his towel. He quickly dried himself, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped the towel around his waist. The mirror had steamed over, so he used a hand to clean a portion of the mirror, just enough so he could see his face. He saw not the Hoya he once was. His eyes were red and swollen from all the crying, and his cheekbones were becoming more prominent as he continued to skip his meals. No wonder Sungjong was so worried about him.

When he opened the door, he could see Sungjong sitting on the couch and shaking his leg almost violently, and Hoya knew Sungjong was really worried now. As soon as Sungjong saw Hoya, he stood up.

“Do you want something to eat, hyung? Or something to drink? You want me to go buy something?”

Hoya walked over and ruffled his hair, which surprised Sungjong. Hoya hadn’t ruffled his hair in a really long time, not since Hoya’s “break-up” at least. Sungjong couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Don’t worry about me. Are you hungry? I can go get something.”

“Let’s just go together!”

Hoya wanted Sungjong, who was like a precious younger brother to him, to just stop wasting so much time worrying about him now. He would have to make an effort to at least hide some of his pain, but Hoya was willing to do it for Sungjong.

---//---

“Do you want Korean, Chinese, Japanese, or American food?” Hoya asked as they walked down to a street full of small, family-owned restaurants.

Sungjong hummed a tune. “What about you?”

“I don’t care.”

“Let’s just eat Korean food today.”

“Sounds good.” They walked into the nearest restaurant they could find and took a seat near the window.

Hoya realized how much he missed this. He missed hanging out with Sungjong and listening to his crazy stories, and he missed leaving his room, breathing “fresh” air (Korea’s cities had a terrible problem with pollution). He liked laughing out loud, and he liked seeing Sungjong enjoy himself, although Hoya could see Sungjong’s eyes fill with worry and concern every briefly throughout the meal.

“I’m so full, Sungjong. Aren’t you done yet?” Hoya placed his spoon on the table and leaned back in his chair. Sungjong, on the other hand, was reaching across the table with his spoon to eat the food Hoya couldn’t finish.

“I’m a growing boy! I need to eat a lot.”

Hoya had forgotten that Sungjong refused to eat if Hoya wouldn’t eat. Hoya crossed his arms and let out a content sigh. He decided to move on with his life. Let things go. Give more attention to the people who were still with him, like Sungjong.

Well, that was until he saw Jiyoung walking by.

---//---

“Hyung! Where are you going?” Sungjong took a hold of Hoya, who had suddenly gotten up from his seat and started for the door.

“Uh… I forgot I had an appointment. I’ll meet you back home. Can you pay for the meal? Sorry.” Hoya pulled away for Sungjong and was out of the restaurant before Sungjong could respond.

He didn’t know why he did it, running out like that. Hadn’t he just told himself he would move on? Didn’t he spend enough days and nights crying over her? She was the one who left so suddenly with no explanation. So why was he running after her?

Hoya was out of breath by the time he caught up to Jiyoung, and he grabbed her arm and spun her around to make her face him. She struggled to get her arm free from his grasp, but he held tightly enough to keep her from doing so.

Despite her pleas, Hoya dragged her to a less populated area.

“Will you let go? My arm really hurts,” she said. “I won’t run away, Howon.” She was the only one who ever called Hoya by his real name.

He had his back facing her. He couldn’t get himself to look at her, and he didn’t know what to say anyways. When Jiyoung asked him what it was he wanted to say, he didn’t know how to respond.

“I… I don’t know, Jiyoung,” he confessed honestly. “Why’d you leave me?”

“It wasn’t working between us. You know that better than I do.”

“Well, that’s what I thought too. I thought we would be better off without each other, but honestly, my life’s been hell without you.”

“It hasn’t been easy for me either, but isn’t it better than fighting over everything and nothing and getting mad at each other all the time?”

“Can we start over?” He slowly turned around. He was afraid and dreaded what she would say next.

“Howon, I love you. You know that, right?” She took one of his hands and intertwined her fingers with his. “And I will probably love you for days to come, but I don’t think it’ll work.”

---//---

He wasn’t really sure what happened after that, only that he walked her home and that they agreed on a time and location for a date the next day. It made him nervous, the prospect of going on a date with Jiyoung again, but Sungjong was very against it.

“I don’t think you should go, hyung.”

“Why not?”

“It just… It doesn’t make sense. She’s not here.”

“Yeah, I know she wasn’t here by my side for awhile, but she’s willing to start over with me. And I’m not going to complain.”

“No, hyung. I don’t think you understand. She’s not here.”

“What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense. Well, I have to sleep now and get up early tomorrow. Goodnight, Sungjong.”

---//---

As Hoya waited for Jiyoung at the café, he realized just how tired he was. He didn’t feel it when he rolled out of bed that morning, but while sitting there idly, he felt a wave of sleepiness engulf him into its embrace.

He decided to close his eyes for a few minutes, only until Jiyoung got there. When he opened his eyes, he was disappointed to find that he was still alone. He looked at his watch and realized that he had been asleep for almost half an hour, which also meant Jiyoung was almost half an hour late.

The waitress was refilling his cup with some more coffee when Jiyoung walked in. “Sorry I’m late! I didn’t keep you waiting too late did I?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve only been here a bit.” He smiled reassuringly at Jiyoung and thanked the waitress quietly.

He didn’t notice the weird look he got from the waitress.

---//---

“So where do you want to go?” he asked. Just sitting there with her made him so happy.

“How about…I don’t know. What did you have in mind?” She took a sip from Hoya’s coffee.

“Well, if you haven’t had lunch yet, we can go eat.”

They walked out of the café, hand-in-hand. Hoya couldn’t believe it, really. Just the night before, he was telling Sungjong how he would forget her and move on with his life, but there he was, going on a date with Jiyoung. Hoya inwardly flinched when he imagined what Sungjong would say to him.

“You okay? You don’t look too good.”

“I’m fine.” He gave her his brightest smile as if to prove that he really was doing fine. “I was just thinking about how long it’s been since we’ve been out together like this. It’s been awhile, huh.”

“Yeah. Too long, I guess. Hey, we don’t have to do anything special. I’m happy with just walking around.”

“That works for me too.”

---//---

They decided to go to their middle school, the location of the beginning of their relationship. It brought back so many memories that they sat in the playground talking for hours about their past. It really was such a beautiful time for them, and both of them were very disappointed when the sun started setting.

“I guess it’s time to go home.” Hoya tried to not sound so sad. “Oh, Sungjong said he was cooking dinner tonight. That boy always makes me cook, but he stepped up and said he would do it tonight. And he always makes too much. Want to come over for dinner?”

“If that’s okay with him, I’d love to!”

So they were on their way to Hoya’s and Sungjong’s house, walking towards that beautiful sunset.

---//---

Hoya opened the door to his apartment and called out to Sungjong. “I’m home!”

“Hyung!” Sungjong came to the door to greet him, almost like a pet.

“Jiyoung came home with me. That’s okay right?” He led Jiyoung inside, guiding her to the living room.

Sungjong stared at his precious friend. “Hyung…”

“What?” Hoya looked up at Sungjong, wondering why Sungjong looked at him with such pitiful, sympathetic eyes.

“Oh, hyung!” Sungjong brought Hoya into a big hug, crying into the older man’s shoulder. “I told you, Jiyoung nuna’s not here anymore! She’s dead, hyung. She’s been dead,” he managed to say, between sobs.

Hoya couldn’t believe his ears. He quickly glanced at the couch where Jiyoung was just sitting and saw that Jiyoung was no longer there. He pushed Sungjong away, shock written all over his face.

“Jiyoung’s…dead? But I’ve been with her all day!” Hoya shook his head. He couldn’t believe it. He refused to believe it.

“She didn’t want me to tell you. She said…you didn’t deserve to be hurt like that.”

“No. No. No! This can’t be happening.” Hoya held his head with both hands as if he were trying to keep all the memories of him and Jiyoung from escaping. He didn’t even realize he was trembling and sobbing.

Sungjong wrapped his arms around Hoya, whispering meaningless words in an attempt to soothe Hoya’s pain.

It was raining that night too.

---//---

얼마나 더 울어야 우리 추억이 빗물에 번지나요? / How much more do I have to cry for our memories to be spread apart in the rain?

-------------------//---------------------

I didn't think it'd be this long... But yeah... Crying is actually one of my absolute favorite Infinite songs, so this story was fun to write. I had a really bad writer's block while writing it, but I finished it eventually! :D Comments really do make my day. And thank you to each and every one of my readers!! Thank you for encouraging and supporting my (somewhat mediocre) writing!! <3 <3