There's a pregnant silence in the room, its volume deafening to the red headed actress who bores holes within the form.  
 

 

Hesitant fingers reach into her pocket, pulling out her phone, her password, Jimin's birthday. Fingers shake as they swiped and tapped away to form a string of numbers, Jimin's.

 

It goes to voicemail before Minjeong sighs, punching the wall next to her before walking back out to the living room and plopping down onto the couch, gritting her teeth.

 

Where the are you!? 

Recall after recall, the older woman never picks up. The ache of her knuckles only causing the actress to become more irritable. Minjeong pulls up their chat log before holding down the voice message button.

 

"Yu Jimin. What's the meaning of this? Come home, we need to talk." The tick dissapears, seen by the older.

 

Another message.

 

"Don't you dare leave me on read." The words come out angry, leaving the auburn haired woman wondering why she was angry.

 

She was the one who brought them here. In the first place, there was no one but her to blame for the insecurity Jimin was feeling.

 

No one but her who pushed Jimin to even fill in this form infront of her, laid on the coffee table, tear drops staining the lines. 
 

Fingers hold down the blue button once more.

 

"Please...let's talk about this before we decide to do anything." Left on read yet again.

 

Once more. 
 

 

" Anything. Anything you want, I'll do it if it means you'll be able to believe me."

 

"I love you, so much so I- So much so I didn't realise." The tick dissapears, button switches to blue, listened to.

 

" I don't know when I've loved you since, how could I? You were a constant in my life."

 

"Always my best friend, always my hangout buddy, always my shopping friend, my music friend, my reading friend."

 

" Always. It was always you.

 

"Every birthday of mine ever since we met  has been spent with you, every sad day made a little better with your presence, every happy moment, thanks to you."

 

" I didn't realise you'd crossed the boundary of friendship."

 

"That you grew to be more to me."

 

"That you grew to love me."

 

"That I grew to love you." 
 

"And foolishly, I grew afraid of what we'd be." 
 

" I thought I was afraid of losing my career, that that's why I had rejected you. But it wasn't, I was afraid of you losing yours."

 

"This was your dream Yu Jimin, I didn't want to take that away from you." The button is released, turning blue the next second.

 

Fingers raise to the keyboard, a message written and sent, simple, with the younger girls heart behind them.

 

" I love you." The blue tick returns, left on read once again. 
 

Minjeong can only hope her emotions go through. Fearing the words might have become overused by now. 
 

Silently praying, the red headed actress peeked out one eye, to watch for a reply.

 

None.

 

Silence.

 

The button pressed once more.

 

"Jimin... Please, please just believe me."

 

" I know it's foolish of me to ask for your trust over and over when I've only ever broken my promises, contradicted my words, caused you not to."

 

" This is the first time I've fallen in love with someone."

 

" I'm sorry I'm so bad at it, I don't deserve you, I never did." 
 

The button turns blue, a breath escapes the young actress, dropping her head back into the couch, not expecting a reply, giving up on one.

 

Stuck within her own thoughts, Minjeong flinches, surprised when the door beeps open, Jimin walking in and taking off her shoes in exchange for slippers.

 

"Min...why are you still here?" A glance at the clock, their anniversary was over and the younger girl had spent two hours within her thoughts.

 

Obsidian eyes glance over to the counter, an uncomfortable gulp at the sight of flowers.

 

"Oh...it's been a month, right." The actress sits frozen, unsure what to think of Jimin's actions. 
 

Why was she pretending Minjeong hadn't just poured her heart out over text?

 

That they were perfectly normal? No.

 

Not normal.

 

Because to them, normal meant sweet greetings, playful welcome homes, annoying each other.

 

Not this...careful, considerate, toned down Jimin she was seeing.

 

This wasn't normal.

 

Fingers pinch her own thigh, waking herself from the trance like state.

 

" Did you... listen to my messages?" The way Jimin's face winced doesn't slip by, the way her her hands pause taking her coat off for a moment neither.

 

"Go home, we'll talk about this in the morning." Jimin's voice is cold, unfeeling.

 

As if they were back to being friends.

 

No, not like they were back to being friends, because friends meant playful flirting, meant physical nonchalance, meant knowing each other well enough to move without words to the same beat.

 

Not cold, unfeeling, unbothered. This wasn't back to being friends.

 

This was being pushed away.

 

" I want to solve this now." And Minjeong wouldn't allow that.

 

"I'm tired, I had a drink with Ning." No matter how much Jimin would try.

 

" You seem sober enough to me." No matter how much hurt she'd have to cause both of them.

 

" Are you just looking for someone to fight with?" No matter how argumentative, no matter how much they'd have to fight.

 

Because even if it's negative, it meant they were still together.
 

"Jimin, you don't want to remove the flowers...do you?" The older woman's eyes shut, a breath taken as the younger's brows scrunch deeper, worry festering in her heart.

 

Obsidian eyes open, moisture gathering along its creases. 
 

 

"I- I don't know." Jimin's eyes are averted to the ground next to the couch, anything not to see the hurt she knew she was inflicting on the actress.

 

" I don't know what I feel." Fists clenched, nails digging into her palms.

 

"I don't know what you feel." A glance.

 

"I told you, I lo-" Standing up off the couch, Minjeong took a step forward, closing the gap between the two women.

 

" But at the end of the day what does that mean for us?" Eyes look away yet again, not wanting to lose the courage within her to speak her mind. 

 

"What do you.." Not wanting to lose the courage to kill her own heart.

 

" I know it's childish of me, that it's stupid, and that I'm over reacting. I know why you told her nothing was between us, but it doesn't stop this thing from hurting." A finger pokes her left chest, right above the heart.

 

" It doesn't stop this from thinking that you lied, from thinking that you said a white lie, that you just wanted me to live. It doesn't stop me from thinking about how you wouldn't have to be scared, stressed, how you wouldn't have to panic about being seen with me in public, if we weren't together." A harsher, rougher, touch.

 

" I know you just want to keep us a secret for the sake of our careers, I know." A tear tears its way down the cheeks of the older woman.

 

"But this doesn't compute to this." A finger on her temple, a finger on her heart.

 

" It's heart over mind, mind over logic, logic over self." Courage.

" It doesn't matter what my mind knows if my heart doesn't believe it. It doesn't matter what logic tells me if my mind convinces me to think something else. It doesn't matter what I want if my logic tells me it would be better another way." Courage to fight against her own heart.

 

" And right now, it's that our relationship has been hurting you." A courage Jimin could only wish she had.

 

 

"... Unnie."

 

"Jimin unnie."

 

" Rina..."

 

"Don't do it..."

 

The calls for the older woman to ju