"Do you remember the first time you told me you love me?" Yongsun asked, finally breaking the silence that settled in the air between her and Moonbyul.

"What are you getting at, Yong?" Moonbyul sighed. She just wants her much-needed rest, but with Yongsun asking these kinds of questions, she might not get it soon enough.

"Do you?" Yongsun asked insistingly, ignoring the other girl's question. She wanted to talk about it now, otherwise, she might never have the chance to. "I do." she answered her own question; not sure if Moonbyul was willing to participate in the conversation so she continued. "I remember so clearly when you told me you love me." The thought of it brought a smile to her face instantly.

Oh, how she wishes she could turn back time just to replay that moment a hundred times.

Moonbyul’s grip on the car wheel tightened. She's not sure if it is a good idea to let the conversation flow in the direction that Yongsun wants to.

"Well, do you remember laughing it off? And saying that I don't really love you?" the silver-haired girl questioned, she herself was surprised at the bitterness that laced her voice. Her facial expression didn't give away anything of what was going through her mind. But anyone paying attention would notice the pain behind her words.

"Yes." Yongsun chuckled humorlessly. "I did." The other girl didn't know how much she regretted it now. "I also remember that you kissed me right after."

"I did kiss you." Moonbyul confirmed.

Yongsun nods.

Moonbyul kissed her then. She remembers how when the girl pulled away she was smiling. She remembers how Byul didn't mind when Yongsun couldn't say it back.

She remembers.

"You were so confident then." Yongsun said - not that she thinks Moonbyul isn't confident now.

But back then, the only thing that mattered to Moonbyul was for Yongsun to feel that she really loved her. It only mattered that Yongsun believed her.

She remembers. Everything. And it makes her heart race and ache at the same time.

She remembers, and how she wishes she could forget. Because maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe if she forgets, she wouldn't love Moonbyul this much. Maybe.

Because what hurts more than not knowing what could've been?

"I'm still that same person." Moonbyul stated, knowing the implications of what Yongsun just said. "But I can also clearly remember saying that I love you and kissing you, again and again. And I remember you rejecting the idea every single ing time." Moonbyul recounts as she stopped the engine, realizing that they were in front of the Thornhill gates. Yongsun’s residence.

And Yongsun remembers how every kiss felt. How it felt like there was a hurricane inside her stomach. She remembers how much of a mess she becomes after it.

"It's hard not to lose confidence in myself -in us - with the number of times that you rejected me." If it wasn't for the lack of tears, Yongsun would've thought that Moonbyul was crying. "Until I've accepted that you don't see me that way." Moonbyul continued.

Yongsun huffs in the air, indicating to Byul that Yongsun is irritated and frustrated at the same time.

“Everytime we’re drunk. Everytime you’re drunk.” Yongsun adds, as if that information is something vital to those moments.

“I needed courage, Yong.” Byul reasons, her voice slightly rising because she is becoming frustrated herself. “You might think it was easy for me but it wasn’t.”

Moonbyul’s confused as to why Yongsun looks angry, why she’s acting as if Byul’s the one at fault that they’re in this position right now.

“I was only waiting for you to tell it to me when you’re sober.” Yongsun sighed, frustration stayed hidden by how calmly she said it. “But you never did.”

Yong sounded like she was crying, which made Byul look directly at Yongsun for the first time that night, but there were no tears. “You should’ve said something.” Her tone was softer than before. “Instead of making me think like you don’t feel the same.”

“Do you think it was easy for me to accept that you only love me when you’re drunk?” Yongsun chuckled humorlessly.

“That’s not true at all.” Moonbyul argued. “Why would you even think that?”

“We were both sober when I told you I love you.” Yongsun stated, as if that proved her point. “But you didn’t say it back.”

“That’s different.” Moonbyul said, looking away again.

“How is that different? Is it because of Wheein?” Yongsun sighed as she questioned the other girl. “You didn’t have a problem saying it to her.” She stated. She didn’t really mean it. She knows it wasn’t really about Wheein. She knew it was somehow her fault too, but it was easier to blame it all on Wheein.

"You kissed me too many times to even count, always in the dark, never in public. But with her, it seemed too easy for you." Yongsun didn't bother hiding her jealousy. She is jealous. She envies Wheein for having it easier.

The silver-haired girl’s mouth was agape, not knowing what to say next.

“Are you even sure?” Moonbyul asked.

“Am I even sure…?” Yongsun repeated, not sure what Byul meant.

“That you love me that way.” Moonbyul supplemented to clarify. It was easy for them to think that they were meant for each other because it’s always been just the two of them. But what if they just manipulated themselves into loving each other? It’s possible. They’re both manipulative people after all.

Yongsun’s first instinct is to be mad, but she decides against it, knowing that that would only make things worse.

Will she ever be sure? Because she wasn’t even sure what love looked like. She’s never felt it from her family who's too busy growing their generational wealth. And with Yonghee it's different because she is her sister.

But other than that, Yongsun doesn’t know much about love.

“I’m sure that if I don’t love you, then I don’t love anything in this world.” Yongsun answers; it’s the only answer she can offer. It’s the answer that made sense to her. “I know that if I had the chance to feel this way towards another, I’d still choose you.” Yongsun confesses. It hurts her ego to be this vulnerable to someone who might not feel the same as her, but it's Moonbyul. So she lets it happen.

She knows that she’s a little too late to say it back. Maybe she just never thought someone could come between them. It's always been just her and Moonbyul. She thought she had all the time in the world to think things through, but maybe that’s where she went wrong.

Moonbyul didn’t expect her best friend’s answer. She wanted to say something, but she was not sure how to respond.

She always knew that Yongsun loved her...but not to this extent.

She didn’t think that Yongsun loved her this way, she wasn’t sure if Yongsun knew how.

But Yongsun’s right in front of her at this moment, admitting that she’s not sure how to love but somehow she did. She did