♥Minho POV♥

I took off my coat and handed it to one of the guards standing by the door as Onew and I entered the office. The office smelt too new. Too strongly of bleach mixed with Vanilla. I hated the office. But at the same time it offered me a sanctuary, because most of the time, while I was here, my thoughts of her weren’t so strong.

“Welcome back boss, welcome back sir.”

Onew waved them away and jumped onto the sofa, his arms and legs sprawled out into whichever direction he fancied.

“Where’s Key and Taemin?” I asked one of the men who were just about to leave.

“They’re downstairs with a few of the dancers.” he answered, his head down and eyes looking straight at his feet.

“Can you call them up please?”

The guard nodded and left. I could see everything in his eyes. His loneliness, his sadness and his story. No one chooses to be what we are. We’re all pushed into it, one way or another. Like river water, we don’t choose which river we’re in or how we flow. Our path is already determined by the bends and turns of the banks, that had been carved out by the hand of God. We simply just follow. Like sheep in a herd, we follow the leader, only hoping that he makes the right judgement and take us to green pastures and safety.
Our leader too, has his own story.

“Minho ah, come sit down. You look like a tree standing so stiffly over there.”

I turned to see that Onew was now curled up into a ball, his back facing me and his head buried into a cushion. He looked like he was holding himself together. Onew may seem happy and carefree on the outside, but deep down inside, he was falling apart. Slowly…
How do I know this? Let’s just say, when you’re drunk, you tend to say a lot of things you never want anyone to know. Man hands on misery to man.

“Hyung, what do we do now?” I asked as I sat down on the white leather sofa opposite him.

“We can’t do anything. Once the money has entered the Imperial Dragon, it’s black money.” he answered, sitting up, smiling at me.

“Are you sure? It was almost two million dollars.”

“Minho ah… you really have to learn to let go… but then again, you can’t even let of a girl.”

I looked up from my hands, not pleased by her sudden involvement in our conversation. Like I said. You say a lot of things when you’re drunk. We all have secrets, luckily it was only Onew that knew. Every time I hear her name, it’s like it kills a part of me.

“What? There are plenty of girls trying to throw themselves at you, but you never even look twice. I mean, what’s up with that?”

I focused my gaze back down to my hands, I clenched my fists and watched the blood drain from them, turning them white.

“They’re not the same.”

“I wish you were more like Key, maybe then you’d learn to let go of the past.”

I thought about what Onew had said. It sounded like he was scolding me, but part of me told me he was scolding himself too. For the most part, Onew was doing a far better job than me at forgetting the past.

“But then I’d be a jerk.” I replied, knowing that I was dead meat if Key walked in.

Key was too extravagant in the way he changed his girlfriends. He lured them in, ate them up and then pushed… or rather threw them away. But of course, Key too had his own story to tell.
I was glad Taemin wasn’t following in Key’s footsteps, but the future looked dim if he was with Key all the time.

“But girls still throw themselves at him, that’s just the way women are. The more dangerous the relationship, the more they like to jump into it with two feet.”

If Onew’s words were true, I prayed silently to God, that she would never find me.

“Who’s talking about me now?”

I cleared my mind as Key’s confident tone filled the room. There was too many footsteps in the room and I looked up to see that Key had bought two of the dancers with him. I shot a look at Taemin, he gave me a shrug and lowered his head as he made his way over to sit near me.

“Ki Bum ah, you know the rules.” Onew said firmly, pointing a finger at the two girls.

“Ooohh, Ki Bum, what a cute name!” the two girls squealed.

Key glared at Onew and let the two girls find their own way out. Key hated people knowing his real name, and Onew knew that too well.

“Well, Jin Ki hyung, maybe I forgot.” Key said, emphasizing Onew’s real name.

“That could be true, but I won’t take your word for it.” Onew said with a laugh.

As Onew spoke, I let my eyes wander around the room, stopping at the window. It shed light not only into the room, but also into a part of me. Onew was right, but then again my heart said no. I didn’t deserve her anymore, maybe it was better if I did find someone else, someone who was part of my world, a world that was forever in darkness…

♥Mi-Young POV♥

“Headmaster, you wanted to see me?” I asked as I closed the door gently behind me.

“Ah yes, Mi-Young. Take a seat.”

The headmaster, like his small office was run-down, and rough around the edges. He smelt like wood and always looked like he could use some sleep. I guess being a headmaster wasn’t what everyone made it out to be.

“Now, Mi-Young ah, let’s talk comfortable. I’ve known you since you were tiny. The thing is… I know you want to continue teaching here, but the school is proving to be too much. We don’t get funding here, and I don’t want you to waste away like the rest of us. I think you’re better off moving to the big city. You’ll have a future.” his tone was almost gentle and soothing, that was until I understood what he was trying to say.

“So… I’m being fired?”

“No, no. Let go, would be a better way to look at it. Sorry Mi-Young ah.”

“I understand.”

He thanked me, shook my hand and led me out. My feet plastered themselves to the floor and it took a lot of strength to lift them up.
It wasn’t being “let go” that made me sad. But it was the memories. The only place that I felt happy and safe, now longer wanted me. I was being pushed away from everything that I had ever wanted.
As my heart sank lower and lower, the rain outside began pelting down harder and harder. There was a cardboard box on my desk, I began packing my belongings, at the same time gazing out the window.

The students were rushing home, some running for shelter while others shared umbrellas with those around them. I walked over to the window, watching the rain as it cascaded down the window outside. My hands felt the smooth, cool glass as memories gushed back into my mind.

♥FLASHBACK♥

“Mi-Young ah, you’re gonna get wet! Come home with me!” Yoona called out as I braced myself for the cold water to saturate me from head to toe.

“I need to head to library!” I called back.

There was a history test that I needed to pass tomorrow, and there was no way a bit of rain would stop me. I rushed down the muddy path, making my way to the town’s old library. I could hear footsteps mimicking mine, but it was probably just another student trying to get home. I took a quick glance at my watch, it was 4:45, which meant that I had 15 minutes to make it to the library. My feet quickened into a jog.

The rain and my sweat were immersed in each other and wiped them away with the back of my hand. As I jogged, I didn’t pay any attention to the muddy ground beneath my feet, I had other priorities on my mind. I should have known that the rocky grounds would be a hazard for someone as clumsy as me. A sharp pain shot through my ankle as I felt the wind push me to the ground. My hands stung, and so did my knees. It was then that I noticed the rain was no longer falling on me, it fell around me, like as if an invisible shield was protecting me. I looked up.

“If you get wet. You’ll get sick.”

He kneeled down in front of me and smiled. His hand brushed swiftly against my face as we became oblivious to anything around us. Immersed in each other.

“You should have waited for me.” he said firmly, clearly not impressed that I ran off.

“I need to get to the library.” I pouted.

Suddenly realising where I was, I shot up, forgetting about my pain. That was until I put pressure on it, I couldn’t take it and almost fell again. He grabbed me before I fell and he looked at me angrily.

“You can barely walk. I’ll take you home.” he said as he put my arm over his shoulder.

“I can’t. I need to get to the library.”

“Mi-Young ah, you can’t even walk properly.” his tone was soft, but firm.

He stared at me for a moment, knowing that my silence was my stubbornness in hiding. After a moment of thought he handed me the umbrella and turned his back to me. He bent slightly and turned his head.

“Hop on. I’ll take you there.”

I smiled at his gesture, but I looked down at myself. I was covered in dirt from my fall. He noticed my hesitation and turned around.

“Mi Young ah, are you okay?” he asked, putting the back of his hand against my forehead.

“I’m fine.” I lied.

“Then hop on.”

He was oblivious to the patches of dirt that had sprayed all over me. I watched as he turned back around and crouched slightly, waiting for me to climb aboard. At that moment I realised how much I loved him. He didn’t care about what I looked like, how I was, he just wanted to protect me. Keep me safe from any harm. A protector that would never let anything hurt me. My heart felt light and airy as I wrapped my arms around his neck and he helped me up. I held onto him with one arm, while my other hand held the umbrella above out heads. Shielding God’s tears from us. It was already 5, I was late. There was no getting out of going home now. I sighed heavily and laid my head against his shoulder.

“Mi-Young ah… do you want to know what I think is most beautiful about you?” he asked as he began walking.

“What is it?” I asked with a grin, curious as to why he would bring it up so suddenly.

“I’ll show you.”

Amidst my state of confusion, he suddenly began spinning. I screamed, afraid that at any moment gravity would pull us down again. Despite my pleas to stop, I felt myself being spun around endlessly. His laugh echoed around us, and soon, I too found the strength within in me to let go and laugh with him.
It was all that could be heard through the trees and winding paths that day. The sound of laughter, the sound of joy, and the feeling of love. It devoured us, filling us with ecstasy. If only time had stopped, letting us be in that moment of bliss forever…

♥END OF FLASHBACK♥

The happy memories were gone now, replaced by a vague and dark past that I no longer wanted to look at. Maybe I should move to the big city, try and forget about the memories that would always invade my mind. Because that’s what they were now, memories, not my future, but memories of a love that I used to have. I carried my cardboard box outside and looked up at the veil of darkness that blocked the sun, it felt like it was going to stay that way forever… I didn’t want that… I didn’t want to live forever in darkness…

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