Tiffany was on her way to the second floor before something within Taeyeon snapped. 

Taeyeon ran after the other woman, taking two steps at a time until she overtook her, blocking her path on the stairwell. They were a step apart, bodies almost touching. She was panting, out of breath but still suffocating in Tiffany's perfume, all the while being greeted by a look of confusion. 

"I don't want to sleep downstairs."

It was a stupid excuse she made up, but standing in silence in this proximity had been awkward. She didn't think it through before catching up with Tiffany; all she knew was that she didn't want her to walk away. 

"Choose another room. Whichever." Tiffany waved her finger in a circle, her voice unusually quiet. 

"Yours." 

"No."

"Why not?" 

They were borderline whispering as if their conversation were a secret to the world. 

"It's weird now."

"What's weird?"

Tiffany sighed, swallowing hard. 

Before Taeyeon could pry, Tiffany had both hands on her collar and pulled her downwards till their lips met. The force had caught her off-guard, but with quick reflexes, she instinctively grabbed Tiffany's waist with one hand and held on to the banister with the other to prevent them from toppling over. She maneuvered both their bodies so Tiffany was against the wall, the series of desperate movements providing enough adrenaline that was naturally directed towards the kiss. 

Tiffany was the first to push her away to gasp for air. 

Taeyeon's thoughts were racing so fast that she couldn't hold on to a single thread. All she could do was stare at Tiffany's lips. She placed her thumb on Tiffany's bottom lip to wipe away the smeared lipstick, not pulling away after the task but instead letting it trace her lips back and forth. She is convinced that she has lost her mind.

"I'm sorry," Tiffany's words snapped her out of her reverie.

She dropped her hand, though her rose-stained thumb held her attention. 

"Look at me, please?" Tiffany sounded worried. 

Their gazes met and she had to stop herself from leaning in because Tiffany has the most beautiful eyes. 

"You're a good kisser," Taeyeon tried breaking the tension, but her statement did little to ease the mood. 

"Thanks. You're not too bad yourself," Tiffany smiled. 

"Tiffany..."

"Yes?" 

Taeyeon wasn't sure how the ball ended up at her court, how she became the person who had to address what had just happened.  

"Can I stay in your room?" She opted to dance around the awkwardness. 

"Is this your attempt at getting me to sleep with you?" Tiffany laughed, bringing in the much-needed lightness.

"Do you want to?" Taeyeon second attempt at lifting the mood was more terrible than the first because it killed Tiffany's laughter. The proposition had not been her intention, but she was curious anyway. Her feelings had not caught up with her - it felt as if they were still in a tangled mess lost in transit from Seoul. 

"I don't think I can do that without feelings involved." She turned to take a seat on the steps, gesturing for Taeyeon to do the same. "I'm actually surprised you can." She added, inviting a conversation that Taeyeon wasn't ready for. 

"Why did you kiss me then?" Taeyeon asked, successfully directing the attention away from her unresolved emotions. 

"I apologised, didn't I? I don't think any version of that answer will give you peace. So don't ask!" She slapped Taeyeon's arm playfully as if that was all it took to close this confusing chapter.

"I'm almost tempted to let you get away with it," Taeyeon rolled her eyes, despite the sincerity of her words. She couldn't afford another knot to untie, and as long as Tiffany was not upset with her, life would be easier. 

But leaving Seoul gave her the courage to add more stupidity to her life. 

So she kisses Tiffany. 

This time, the kisses were much more aggressive, more desperate, and overflowing with want. She wanted to close the distance between them, a distance that had accumulated since Tiffany had left her in Seoul all those years ago. She wanted to blame Tiffany for all these years spent in misery, just like how she had blamed Jessica before that. Why did they both seem happier after leaving her? Everyone seemed to have moved on but not her, she was still on that same hamster wheel, running in circles untill the day she has no more songs left in her.

Her hands wandered unde