First of all, I'm truly sorry for not updating in such a long time. I've been busy with my master's thesis and personal stuff. So I couldn't focus on writing. This chapter is a transition point between what happened in last chapter and the next chapter. I hope that it's ok and it isn't disappointing, though I would understand if it is. I hope everyone is doing well and thank you for anyone that has kept up with this story. 

Nayeon returned home quite frustrated. The frown on her face was uninviting enough for Sana and Momo to let her relax for some time before they inevitably tried to ask about the day. They had their suspicions as to why Nayeon was in such a sour mood. Especially Sana, when she remembered what had occured the previous day. And the worst anticipation was that she met Haru and they fought. Sana didn't want to overthink it too much though. It wasn't healthy. Therefore, she busied herself with some work and her phone until Momo decided that it was a good moment to talk to Nayeon who was in the bedroom. They approached the door carefully, they weren't closed so seeing Nayeon on the bed, her earphones on, her eyes shut, wasn't difficult. They walked in and sat on the side of the bed gently and the movement made Nayeon open her eyes. She reached out to turn off the music quickly, then took out the earphones. Before anyone spoke up, she took a deep breath. 

"I might've yelled at Mina. In my defense, she is acting like a coward. Super annoying." Nayeon explained.

"What do you mean?" Sana jumped in immediately to gain more information. Nayeon seemed to have considered her options for a short while before speaking again.

"Well, she's decided to stay with Haru permanently." The silence that fell on them was deafening. And Sana's mind couldn't comprehend the information. 

"Why would she do that?" Momo broke the silence as she could see that Sana was absolutely frozen and Nayeon still hesitant. 

"For Chaeyoung's sake. It's all about her. Couldn't convince her to change her mind. Maybe she'll come around, but who knows with her." Nayeon said with annoyance. "I'm sorry, Sana." Sana couldn't say anything back. She didn't want to become that emotional about that. She knew that her relationship with Mina was just starting, but she had the feeling that they were on the right path to being more than just friends. After hearing the news, that bubble of hope burst violently. And Sana wasn't even sure how to react. She just sat there, unresponsive as the turmoil was happening in her mind. 

And so the conversation didn't last much longer. Neither one of them was sure what to say or do about the situation. Sana knew though, that she wanted to find out what Mina truly wanted to do. As she still could hardly believe that Mina would give up so easily. And therefore, she wanted to try talking it out with Mina herself. They had a connection, so Sana should be able to get something. To receive an explanation. Maybe, just like before, she would be able to convince Mina to make the right decision. 

And the plan was simple, flawless. In Sana's mind. When she got to work though, she remembered how Mina avoided meeting her the previous day. And if that was gonna happen again, Sana might have not had another chance. She decided to go to Mina before the lunch break, to make sure that they can talk. Without Mina escaping. So she came to the office right after arriving at work. She decided not to ambush Mina at home, as she didn't want to risk seeing Haru and starting another fight. 

She needed to know the truth. She wanted to help as much as she could. On her way there, she rehearsed what she would say, how she would say it. Just to make sure that Mina is comfortable and would accept help. Of course, she had to keep calm, or calm-ish. She had to speak with confidence and warmth. It was what Mina needed. 

And she approached, with her head high, a faint smile on her face. Ms. Kim noticed her and acknowledged her only with a simple nod. Which meant that Mina was inside. And Sana had her chance. She opened the door swiftly and entered, her eyes landed on Mina's figure immediately. And the whole atmosphere of the room was off. Sana's presence went unnoticed. She closed the door and walked closer to the desk. 

"Good morning." She said, reluctantly, and it seemed like Mina didn't hear her. "Mina?" Sana tried again, when she stopped next to the desk. And Mina glanced at her, with a blink, as if she woke up from some sort of trance. 

"Sana, what brings you here at this time?" Mina's greeting was dull, almost emotionless. Which was expected. Sana still felt a jab in her heart. 

"We didn't get to meet yesterday." Sana started carefully.

"Ah, yes, there was an emergency meeting regarding the event. I had to attend." Mina cleared it up quickly and looked back to the monitor. As if she tried to tell Sana to leave, without actually saying it.

"Yeah, Ms. Kim said so yesterday. But that's not really a problem." Sana replied and paused for a moment. She couldn't decide if she should bring it up without any build up. If it would have a good outcome. "Nayeon came back yesterday quite distressed." Mina didn't say a word. She stared at the monitor with an unfocused expression. Sana let her be silent, think about what she should say.

"We had a disagreement. I'm sure that we'll be fine soon." It seemed that Mina might've hoped that Nayeon didn't mention any specifics. But Sana wasn't going to surrender. 

"She told us what happened. Mina, are you sure that you're making the right decision?" Sana asked, sounding less confident with each word. And Mina's first response was a heavy sigh. She looked away from the monitor, finally not escaping the interaction. 

"If you want to tell me how stupid I am for doing this, you don't have to, I have heard it enough times." 

"I would never call you stupid. I am just trying to understand why you would agree to what he said." Sana wanted to walk around the desk and take Mina's hands in her own. But the anxiety brewing inside her wouldn't let her do that.

"It's the best thing for Chaeyoung. Her happiness is all that counts." Sana felt like she couldn't argue with that. Even if she wanted to. She probably didn't have the right.

"I understand that. She will be happy now, but will she be later?" She tried to be mindful, but her heart was still bearing like crazy.

"She…" Mina seemed quite stunned by that question. "I don't know. But I don't want to make it worse for her." Sana understood what Mina was trying to say. And it was a great sign that she wasn't trying to kick Sana out of the office yet. 

"I just, I think that settling for a reality where everyone is unhappy, isn't going to be good in the long run." Sana tried to catch Mina's eyes, but she couldn't. It was the first time when Mina wasn't focusing solely on the woman in front of her. 

"I don't know. I only know what Chaeyoung needs now. And I will provide it." Sana didn't know what else she could say. Mina seemed quite adamant. She seemed…distant. Sana had a hard time accepting it. She had difficulty accepting the reality Mina is trying to put into action.

"So there's nothing any of us can say to convince you to think about it more?" At that point, Sana didn't sound collected at all. Which meant that it wouldn't be good to continue talking. Especially, when there were many things she wanted to say, selfishly.

"I can't make that decision now. I can't risk losing my daughter." Mina's voice was urgent, filled with fear. Sana wasn't sure what was the meaning behind these words. Chaeyoung seemed to love her mom a lot. So it made little sense.

"Why would you lose her?" Sana asked quietly. Mina inhaled, but no sound left her lips. She looked down, guilty. Not at all eager to explain her words. "Did Haru say something to you?" Mina swallowed the gull in and took a few deep breaths.

"Chaeyoung doesn't want her parents to separate. She wants to have a normal family. And I am willing to provide that." 

"But you can't provide a normal family. You were forced into this. It's unfair." Sana pretty much let go of all the breaks. She wanted Mina to understand, to agree.

"Chaeyoung seems happy when we're together. I have managed through six years and I am sure that I will be able to do so for the next six years." Mina, on the contrary, kept her voice mellow, she didn't let any emotion show. But Sana doubted that she wasn't feeling anything. 

"You managed to stand up to your parents, why can't you do the same with Haru?" Sana may have been pushing it. But she needed to get a truthful answer from Mina. And Mina turned her eyes back to Sana at last. But nothing could be read off of the stoic expression. 

"It's not about him. Chaeyoung said that she hates us being apart. So I am making sure that we stay together." Something told Sana that Mina was not saying the whole story to her. 

"So you won't let yourself experience life? You'll just stay in this unhappy reality?" For a split second, Sana thought that Mina's expression changed. 

"Sana, I have had this conversation too many times, I don't need to hear it again."

"So you want us to agree with you?" Sana challenged Mina, her eyes trying to keep Mina's gaze.

"No, I just want you to respect my decision." Sana was respectful. She respected people's decisions. She accepted a lot. But somehow, she had a hard time doing that with Mina. Because she couldn't accept it with a good conscience. She couldn't let Mina waste her life. 

"We respect it by not agreeing. This isn't going to end well." Mina sighed heavily and didn't say a word. At all, as they stayed like that for minutes maybe. "Mina,"

"Just give me time. That's what family and friends should do." Sana finally realized that there was no use. No matter what, Mina was going to dismiss her. It was hopeless. Sana was ready to let go. Her eyes started watering in a few seconds. And she just wanted to escape the office. 

"Fine. If that's what you want." Sana couldn't see Mina well anymore through the blurry vision. But she thought that she saw Mina jump up from her chair, as if worried. But she didn't move closer. And so, Sana turned around, and left. Without another word. She most likely wouldn't be able to utter a sound. She had to cry her heart out before she could have another conversation with anyone. And that was exactly what happened. She hid away somewhere where she knew not many people passed by. She didn’t need everyone knowing that she was crying like a child. There was also a part of her that wasn’t crying just because Mina and Nayeon had a fall out again, or about the whole family predicament. That part was crying over her broken dream, the anticipation of having a good relationship with Mina, and finally becoming more than friends. She knew that it was incredibly selfish of her. That was why she decided to try and conceal it from others. Though at that point, they might’ve had the idea. That didn’t mean she couldn’t pretend and not add more worries to the weight on Nayeon’s shoulders. 

She managed to look presentable during the working hours. Though she was sure that everyone working with her saw the change in mood and behavior. She was no longer jumping around the place, pointing to places and giving detailed feedback. It was too difficult when her mind was that clouded. The people working with her kept their distance as well, because Sana most likely looked like she was going to lose it with one small poke. She appreciated that, as she was in no mood for dealing with the workers doing something the wrong way. Though as soon as she returned to the apartment, she changed into her onesie and lied down on the couch, her pillow between her arms and legs. And then, she didn’t do anything. Just stayed still, staring at the ceiling, trying not to lose it again as she tried to rationalize the situation. Because Mina said that she needed time, so she might’ve come around at some point. Sana just had to wait… No, it wasn’t about her. It was about Nayeon, Mina’s happiness and Chaeyoung too. Of course, about getting rid of Haru as well. She had to focus on that. 

“The fact that you’re in this position, dressed in your onesie tells us that you didn’t have a good experience talking to Mina.” Momo scared Sana with the sudden entrance. She didn’t even realize that it was that hour already. 

“What did she tell you?” Nayeon inquired after sitting next to Sana’s legs on the couch. Sana didn’t say anything though. She didn’t want to cry again. It was pretty pathetic in her opinion. 

“Probably what she told you. Not surprising.” Momo said with shrug. Of course, she wasn’t wrong about that.

“So now we’ll have to deal with a depressed Sana…” Nayeon whispered, barely hearable, and Sana again, knew that it was true.

“I am not depressed. Mina has the right to make decisions for herself. And we can respect that.”

“Aha, you’re not cool with that at all.” Momo countered and Sana huffed angrily. She wanted them to pretend that she wasn’t going through it at the moment.

“It doesn’t matter. We should focus on the fact that Mina is actively ruining her life.” Sana said forcefully.

“It’s ok to be angry, Sana. You like her after all.” Nayeon’s voice was soft and the pressure on Sana’s leg from her hand was gentle.

“But this isn’t about my feelings. Your sister is committing to an awful person, we should focus on this instead.” Nayeon and Momo didn’t reply immediately. She hoped that it meant that they would leave it be. 

"Ok, that's fair. But you can be disappointed and sad about this." Nayeon pointed out to her and caressed Sana's legs. 

"What are you planning to do?" Sana remained stable, probably because she had cried so much before. 

"I guess we'll leave her be for some time and then try to convince her again." That seemed reasonable enough. Something that they had to do if they didn't want to lose Mina altogether. 

"Maybe if you ghost her a little, it'll push her a bit." Momo suggested. Nayeon immediately sent her a questioning look, with a hint of disapproval. Sana, on the other hand, was in such a state, that she was ready to avoid Mina. Only for a while.

"Maybe I'll do that." Sana said, a bit reluctant. Nayeon shook her head but didn't protest.

"Do whatever you must. I don't want to lose my sister again so I'll continue to pester her." 

"That's fair, just remember to control your disappointment" Momo received a nod from Nayeon as an answer. 

"Do you want to watch something?" Nayeon mostly directed this question to Sana. And the reply didn't come after a long break.

"I'm not in the mood for that." Nayeon and Momo shared a look before agreeing to leave Sana be.

"All right. We'll eat something and go to bed." Sana nodded and walked her two friends to the kitchen. Then she returned to her previous condition. Just thinking and trying not to lose her sense of common sense. 

She managed to keep it. On most days. As she worked her days away. And that time was one big blur. Everything was the same, boring and difficult. Sana thought that maybe with the passage of time, it'll become easier for her to digest. But a month had flown by her, as if it was just a snap of fingers. And in that time, she made it her mission to avoid any sight of Mina, or even someone mentioning her. Nayeon and Momo sensed that she didn't want to talk about it. Hence they didn't bring her up. Even when Nayeon went to meet with Mina. Though Sana unconsciously listened to the conversations her two friends had about it. She found out that Mina didn't seem better, nor willing to change her mind. She was still closed off and more absent. Nayeon couldn't speak to Chaeyoung, because Haru didn't really allow them to talk properly. Sana found out that Tzuyu started staying over at Dahyun's place more often because of the situation they were in. But Jihyo and Jeongyeon were coming over to be around Mina and Chaeyoung every day. 

And Sana knew that Mina tried to reach out to her. Thanks to the coworkers telling her so. Even Ms. Kim caught her in a hallway once and asked when Sana would join Mina for lunch. Because her boss had been doing poorly recently. But Sana felt so…upset with Mina, she couldn't go and face her yet. As she didn't want to be selfish and cause another scene. Sana was also sure that Mina asked Nayeon about her. No doubt, Nayeon was honest. 

Sana couldn't help but feel like she was trying to make herself the main victim. She wasn't anything more than a friend to Mina. So she didn't have the right to act and feel like that. She had to get a grip and just…forget it. She couldn't halt her life because of the way Mina was acting. It was all that Sana was thinking. But her actions were a different thing. Her actual feelings were different. She just wanted to be a support factor. So that Mina could be brave enough to do the things she wanted to do. She just thought that she shouldn't be the one doing so. When all of Mina's close friends and her sisters were right there. So maybe it wasn't so bad to stay away. And perhaps it hurt less because she didn't have to act normal around Mina. 

And then the next month passed. The weather was much colder, matching the way Sana had been feeling. And…not much has changed. Inside of her. She still felt longing and hurt. She still wanted to have Mina's affection. To have Chaeyoung's affection. She wanted to spend time with them and learn about their days. But she still kept herself away. And from what she learned, Mina decided to give her space as well. No more trying to catch her for a talk. Which was another stab to Sana's heart, but it was understated. Though Nayeon told Sana that Mina still asked about her. And it was the only source of hope in her current life. 

But she knew that Mina still stood with her decision, albeit she had a harder time pretending that she was all right with it. But Haru was still in sight. Though, apparently, Jihyo said that Mina started to talk back to him when things got really ugly. That was undoubtedly a good thing. 

Sana started to talk to Nayeon and Momo more often. As she knew that she couldn't remain in that indifference. And it clearly made her friends feel relieved. They let her be though, waiting for her to take small steps. That was also the time when she realized that perhaps she wasn't a great friend, the way she thought she was. She dwelled on her sadness while Nayeon had to deal with that situation, not showing much hurt. So as not to make everything worse. That was when Sana knew that she had to step up. No matter how she felt. Just had to be there for Nayeon. And so she suggested we go out, or watch a movie together. She tried to laugh the way she did before. She wanted to return to normal. She wanted to be a good friend. 

It wasn't an easy road, but she thought that she was doing fine. She even started acting open again with her coworkers. So perhaps, she could achieve progress and get her old self back. And get over her feelings for Mina…maybe. As she truly didn't want to give up on them, on Mina. But it might've been the solution she was afraid of. The one that would work the best. 

She didn't get that much time to consider it though. One day, she came back home close to the time Mina did. And they almost interacted beyond sharing a desperate look. Except, Chaeyoung was there and she looked…angry. At Sana specifically. Which was confusing and worrying. Sana didn't recall any action that she might've done to upset the little girl. And nothing came to her mind as Chaeyoung dragged Mina away before one of them would have uttered a word. But as Mina and Chaeyoung disappeared in the elevator, and Sana walked up the stairs, into the apartment, then sat down, some things cleared out in her mind. As she recalled the day Sana spent time with Mina and Chaeyoung, and Haru was there, to attack her. In front of the child. It could've been one thing. Betrayed by the spiteful expression and haste to leave Sana alone. And Sana understood then, why Mina was acting this way. That it wasn't just something Haru said, that it wasn't just Chaeyoung saying that she wanted a full family. That Sana was the main problem in that situation. That she might've just been the solution as well. Perhaps, she had to stop avoiding Mina. She had to enact her change and she had to discuss it with Nayeon and Momo. Because she couldn't do it alone