Karina

It's been weeks since in-announce ni dad 'yung ridiculous plan niya and to be honest? Na-realize ko na super not prepared ako sa plano niya. I don't even know how to speak French that much! What else can I say to my client except "Bonjour madame mabuhay!"?

That means ilang araw ko na din binubulabog si Yeji to help me learn how to speak french- Halos magkabuhol-buhol na mga dila namin just to pronounce the words properly. There's even a time when she went to a sleepover with me to spend my remaining days in the Philippines together and syempre kasama na doon 'yung pag help saakin to learn French- She just woke up when she accidentally said "Oui?" while answering a phone call from her boss! 

OMG buti nalang talaga hindi masiyado narinig noong boss at nailusot niyang nag choppy siya and nasa line ng boss niya 'yung problem. Ikr best in gaslighting award goes to my bff. 

Trained ko 'yan. eme.

Anyways I learned a couple of necessary words naman and the phrase that I proudly mastered. "Tu viens souvent ici?" 

Oh see?? Super kabog ng do you come here often ko! After nights of crying- including 'yung session ko kagabi, I think it's also the time for me to open myself up to someone.

ONLY IF may darating na matino. My main priority right now is to finish this deal as fast as possible. I don't want to stay there for the whole year no? If I can finish it quickly then my revised plan in my list is uuwi na ako agad, claim my position, and get my life back on the list once again.

This challenge thingy na pinapagawa ni dad is taking too much of the timeline in my life. Imagine what I could've done for the company for that whole year na wala ako.

Anyways, what was Dad's deal in order to secure for us to secure the next in-line CEO position? I'll walk you guys through the deal.

RULES AND CONDITIONS:

1. We will both have different clients to pursue (Different brands, Different Countries)

2. The goal is NOT ONLY to sign our clients up: It's just an additional point.

3. The one who will serve a marketing service with the most impact wins the higher points.

4. Everything will still be down to evaluation after both of us finishes the contract.

You know anong kinakatakutan ko sa dulo ng deal, mission or whatever this is? It's the fact that there's still evaluation after and the decision is down to Dad's hands. 

The fact that he never expressed that he's proud of me stings me through my bones. More than being scared that my best won't be good enough for him, there's this longing for validation from him.

Na para bang kahit anong best na gawin ko, kulang pa din. It's always kulang so I always have to work double and triple way harder just to bring out spectacular results.

Anyways back to the rules, we were given two different countries and two different brands- so that means walang clash na magaganap and the results will only be down to our hands alone.

The only advantage that my sister has is sa korea siya naka destino and she might not be a master in Hangul but at least she's familiar with the language already. 

While there's me right here, namomoblema kung saang baul ako maghahagilap ng french if ever na maubusan ako ng stock or kung may kumausap saakin bigla sa daan and magtanong kung saan ang tindahan ng french na aling bebang.

I wiped the sweat that was about to fall from my forehead as I plopped down sa floor to sit down while I fix the luggage na dadalhin ko with me papuntang Paris. I honestly don't know anong dapat ko bang dalhin papunta doon- It's my first time to experience na titira sa isang lugar alone for almost a whole year and frankly? I don't even know if I will survive for a week without bawling my eyes out just because na-hohome sick ako.

"Final na ba decision mo? You're really going na?" I heard Yej ask as she sat down sa dulo ng bed while looking at me.

I nodded while I continue to busy my attention on the clothes that I am currently folding- maybe I should bring more underwear nalang then I'll go shopping for my clothes doon?

"I don't even have any choice, to begin with yej." I chuckled before stopping for a bit then teasingly looks at her. "Don't worry! If ever na makakita akong magandang pogi na type mo, I will definitely ask them to hit you up on instagram." 

I automatically tried to avoid the towel na g na g niyang binato saakin while tumatawa. Ate girl ingat naman sa face ko!

"You're getting dangerous rina! Alam na alam mo na type ko but yes please do tell them to pick up their loml here in Philippines. Pagod na ako magpaka strong independent woman gosh!" I kiddingly rolled my eyes at her bago ko sinimulang isalansan nang maayos 'yung mga clothes ko sa loob ng luggage.

"I told you stress lang ang relationships. Take it from me duh?" This time, it was her turn to roll her eyes at me. The nerve! I'm just telling the truth kaya.

"That's on you dating a man and a jerk combined together! Just wait till matamaan ka ng maganda and pogi combined in one" 

"Excuse me? Never! I am straight, itaga mo sa bato ni darna!" 

"Ah really Rina huh??" 

"REALLY!"

Me? Falling in love with a girl? Not even in my wildest dreams!

I placed down the fresh bouquet of flowers against the cold stone in front of me- the name etched here was my everything. She raised me up to be someone who will surely aim the brightest star out there. Noong nawala si mama there's a big part of me na nawala saakin- so big na 'yung tanging paraan ko nalang para punan 'yung vast space is fulfill all the plans that we made together.

I just want to keep on making her proud of me even though she's not physically with me anymore. Without her- I think 'di ako lalaking may tiwala sa sarili ko but the thing is sobrang inidolize ko si mama na pati type sa lalaki, namana ko rin. Jerks.

I softly laughed as I gently touched her name that was debossed in the stone. I promised myself na for the last time na pupunta ako dito bago ako lumipad sa Paris, I won't cry.

I'll show her how strong her baby is na and that kakayanin ko 'yung hamong binigay saakin ni Dad. I don't want my mom to worry about me.

"Hi Mommy, I still miss you... What am I supposed to do?" 

"Mommy, is it okay if I won't be able to visit you for awhile?" I let out a short sigh while I fixate my gaze on her picture.

How can someone look so beautiful and calming at the same time? She's the image that I have in my mind whenever I think of the word "Serene". 

Oh to grow up exactly like how she was...

"Dad will send me to Paris. He wants me to prove myself again that I can handle your company properly... but mommy you believe that I can naman diba?"

"Don't worry Mommy, I'll make sure that we will fulfill our plans together- and I will do my best to protect your company."

I clenched my hands at the thought of someone else having the company- All my mom's hard work will be gon