ch. 3 : U N A T T A I N A B L E

"Pull yourself together, you're definitely not falling for her," Chaeyoung says looking at the bathroom mirror. It's 6 AM in the morning and she splashed water on her face.

It's another day of Chaeyoung trying to deny the fact that she's "probably" in love with Myoui Mina. It's been days after their date, and she proceeded like nothing happened.

She went out to the kitchen and saw the source of her confusion, sipping coffee.

"Good morning Mina-unnie," Chaeyoung says.

Mina smiles with eyes still a bit sleepy, hair a bit disheveled-- Chaeyoung still finds her so cute.

"I mixed one for you too," Mina says pointing at the cup of coffee, and Chaeyoung nods murmuring a quiet thank you.

They followed their usual routine. Coffee in the morning, work and sleep at night, Together with all the other members. And nights of food binging and movie watching with the not-so-busy nights. But something changed with this routine today- when the other members are busy.

It's 8 PM now on a weekday, and Mina and Chaeyoung are the only ones around in the dorm.

Nayeon and Dahyun with shooting a certain variety show. Jihyo and Jeongyeon were asked by CEO Park Jinyoung to talk about new songs for their new album. Sana, Momo, and Tzuyu are out to watch movies on the cinema. The three invited Mina and Chaeyoung but Mina declined.

Today, Chaeyoung noticed that Mina is kind of down which is why she refused to go out. She stayed back so Mina wouldn't be alone (not that she told anyone about that). She lied telling them she wanted to rest and watch a new series on netflix.

Chaeyoung had asked Mina what's wrong or anything is upsetting but Mina just shook her head. She saw Mina locked herself in the room. After a few minutes, Chaeyoung knocked and gave her a cup of chocolate coffee.

Mina took it and smiled weakly as she locked herself again. Chaeyoung proceeded to stay in her own room and watch movies on her laptop. The hot chocolate helped Mina more than she realizes, the latter felt calmer now.

Chaeyoung always has her way to have this effect on Mina who had the tendency to shut herself out- she's always someone to pull her out again.

It's then Chaeyoung heard a knock.

.

Mina.

The woman didn't say anything and just stomped her way into Chaeyoung's bed. She laid there and covered herself with a blanket.

"ready to tell me what's wrong?" Chaeyoung asked and sat beside the older girl.

It was then Chaeyoung heard a sob coming from the woman that left both ache and panic on her heart. Mina wasn't used to being vulnerable but chaeyoung, she just makes it okay to be this open.

Chaeyoung rubbed the latter's head and laid beside her- and embraced her.

It's was only for minutes but it felt like hours as Chaeyoung held the woman close. She felt her heart skipping beats and her cheeks flaming up in red. Mina finally showed her face and turned to Chaeyoung facing her, "R-rei.."

"Rei?" chaeyoung asked. Trying to recall where she heard the name.

"yeah.. she's our family dog, who's been with us for almost 10 years," Mina says ,"a-and..my mom called me and told me that rei died this morning."

And that sad face mina had on her face melts chaeyoung. She pulled Mina into a hug , "It's okay.."

She allowed Mina to cry a bit more- and just being by her side makes Chaeyoung felt needed. Chaeyoung didn't leave and she appreciates it. It was so calming that Mina finally dozes off into a deep sleep.

After few minutes, Chaeyoung looked at Mina who had finally fallen asleep beside her. Looking peaceful.

Chaeyoung couldn't sleep. And wondering how-how did she just end up in this situation? Mina just cried because her dog died and if it's not one of the most adorable things about Mina and she didn't know what is. She stopped to stare at Mina's face. Her nose, her eyelids, and her lips. Mina is just someone so unpredictable, kind and smart, someone so perfect-someone so unattainable.

'I'm freaking in love with her,' Chaeyoung groans at the realization that she couldn't deny anymore.

Chaeyoung then remembers how she used to have massive crushes on women (Cara Delevigne and Kristen Stewart) but it always stayed with celebrities-and yeah, maybe a brief one on Sana during sixteen days.

But it always stayed just as a silly crush.

She tried dating guys before her debut, but it didn't last more than 2 months. And with girls well, she never had a chance to confirm it because suddenly she's 17 and Twice is debuting- and the company says 'NO DATING RULE'

And now, - it all clicked.

With her previous date with Mina, It made her realize how different it was from all the 'dates' she had been with guys before;

Because for one, Mina's a girl.

And with Mina, it felt comfortable. She had fun- like she didn't need to pretend or how there was no awkward silence or how she was able to freely express her mind.

With Mina-she felt this twist on her stomach, this overwhelming glow on her chest, and just this electrifying feeling she had never known before.

Mina with her warm hands, her gummy smile, her small laugh, her mischievousness-

Mina is different.

Even now, holding Mina close to her- hearing her breath, watching her sleep in a dream she couldn't enter. Falling for mina felt like it was the most natural thing in the world.

But being aware now-

Didn't make it any easier.

Then Chaeyoung remembers Mina had a boyfriend before. They were going out for 2 years- during pre-debut days to the Cheer-up era.

Mina might be single now, but she's not like her.

Never mind the fact that I'm in love with a girl.

Or how I'm in love with a co-member.

all these terrifying feelings prevented Chaeyoung from having any sleep that night.

I'm also in love with someone who might not return my feelings.

//

Chaeyoung could vividly remember the first time she laid her eyes on Mina's performance back in sixteen.

The woman performing drunk in love in front of everyone.

Maybe more than her first performance, this one took Chaeyoung's interest more. Her movements were y yet reserved and enticing.

Chaeyoung did not understand the feeling that swelled up in her chest that time or why that memory lives rent-free in her head but now she does.

She could only thank her lucky stars that Mina is dancing to it again right now in their training room again.

"Go Mina-chan~" Sana cheered clapping both of her hands.

It's been days after Mina's family dog died and JYP made them practice their new choreography. Amidst the practice, it just turned into a 'dance battle' for fun in the training room, cheering and having fun.

One of the things, they were able to handle so much pressure and stress.

Mina looked at her for a moment with her eyes while dancing, chaeyoung could've sworn she's being seduced. She gulped and looked down, not letting her emotions shown again, pretending to be clapping and cheering as if unaffected.

Mina finished up with Momo taking the dance floor with 'Call me maybe' and everyone hyped up. Mina walked beside her and put her head on chaeyoung's shoulder,

"I'm out of breath," Mina says chuckling at how tired she was dancing.

Chaeyoung looked down and patted Mina's head, acting unbothered when her heart was already beating loudly on her chest. She coughed and bit her lower lip, until she finally can't take it anymore and excused herself to go to the comfort room.

"Oh ," Chaeyoung whispers looking at the round bathroom mirror in JYP building's public restroom. There was no one around. She sighs deeply biting her lip.

'comfort rooms' strangely is now really giving her comfort when she felt like she's about to be exposing her feelings for Mina. That scene earlier- with Mina dancing enticingly in front of her, that was enough to push her on edge. She felt like it's wrong to harbour these kind of attraction to someone with the same gender.

She opened the faucet and poured water into her face.

'I am so screwed'

Chaeyoung returned to the training room and found all of twice sitting down. It's 11pm already and most likely, there are only a few people around. And you ask why they're still staying?

And it's definitely not because they're all hardworking.

"I've bought these~" Nayeon grind pulling out bottles of alcohol from her backpack and Momo just claps her hand nodding (she already knew)

"It's been a while," Jihyo says looking at the alcohol being put on the flooring.

"Nabong, you had this all planned out , right?" Jeongyeon laughs shaking her head, because for one, Nayeon had all the alcohol and snacks packed in her backpack.

"We shouldn't drink on training rooms," Tzuyu says.

"ahh jinja, unnie is stressed out, okay? We need this Tzuyu-ah," Nayeon says opening one bottle.

"and not like anyone will find out." Sana giggled.

Chaeyoung saw Tzuyu shook her head on their mischievous unnies. They went on eating and having drinks, chattering about their soon comeback 'I can't stop me'. After hours, they're all mostly likely a bit drunk now.

Momo is more hyper, Nayeon's voice is already louder, Jeongyeon's laughing too much and Sana's talking mixed in Korean and Japanese. Their drunken habits are showing.

"should we play truth or dare?" Sana says with eyes sparking mischievousness, "Come on, please!"

"Yes! Let's do it!" Nayeon nods eagerly.

"That's boring, everyone's gonna end up lying again." Jeongyeon says sighing, "remember last time? We asked Jihyo if she's dating someone and she told us no, then a few weeks later, Nayeon is driving her to Kang Daniel's house."

"Ya! It's true!! I wasn't dating him that time-yet," Jihyo says.

"Whatever guys no lying this time," Nayeon says, "and this time I think it's exciting if we don't get to choose? It's alternate truth, dare, truth dare as such."

"now, that's exciting," Momo says.

They spin the bottle.

The first one, Truth.

And it landed on Dahyun.

"Well," Nayeon says, "It's truth Dahyun. Guys, any questions?"

"I have one!" Momo says raising her hands, "Who's your favorite unnie here? Me or Sana?"

"only between you and sana?" Nayeon asked, "I think I'm dahyun's favorite."

Jeongyeon just groans loudly as she rolled her eyes at the older's statement.

Dahyun chuckled at the question, "I like you both equally,"

"Liar!!!" Jihyo says.

"Okay fine," Dahyun grins, "Maybe I like Sana-unnie more when she feeds me chocolates and I like you more when you're sweet and needy like this unnie,"

"so She likes me more now," Momo says grinning as she stuck her tongue out, teasing Sana.

Sana just giggles as she pulled Dahyun into a tight hug adoring her. It wasn't a secret, of course, both of them really likes this dongseng- maybe it's Dahyun's sense of humor, or sweet nature. They both just adore her.

"heol, Dahyun's a player," Jeongyeon laughs.

"Now, now let's spin it again," jihyo says.

Dare.

And to Chaeyoung's horror, it landed on her. The unnies are smirking and Chaeyoung could only shake her head.

"please don't make me do something idiotic unnies," Chaeyoung says.

"why?" Jihyo asked whining.

"because-I'm your maknae?" Chaeyoung grins showing her dimpled cheeks- this cuteness attack she does usually work but maybe not now.

"That won't work," Nayeon says laughing.

"okay, I've got one,"Momo says smirking, "Kiss the prettiest girl on the cheek,"

"She's going to kiss me," Nayeon says with a smug face.

"Dream on unnie" Tzuyu snorts.

"so chaeng?" Jihyo looks at the younger asking for confirmation.

Chaeyoung laughs as she sighs, "fine."

Of course, she didn't even have to think about it- the first person that came to her mind is Mina sitting in front of her beside Momo. Her hair tied into a messy bun with, wearing a white t-shirt. She's flawlessly casual yet still beautiful, But-she wouldn't point at her. She would faint if had to kiss that smooth cheeks of hers.

She looked around and scanned the member's faces, and her face landed on Sana. Sana is really pretty- big brown eyes, beautiful nose, small face. Chaeyoung had found her really pretty since their trainee days.

She smiles and kneeled down to kiss Sana on the cheeks.

"Aww, you're so sweet Chaeyoung-ah," Sana says grinning pulling her into a tight hug.

"That's enough unnie, stop touching now,"Tzuyu says, "You're gonna suffocate her."

Sana pouted for a bit and then continue smiling due to the fact their adorable maknae considers her the prettiest among Twice. Sana's smile was stopped when she felt a not-so-happy gaze focused on her. It was coming from Mina, she looks at her then suddenly, Mina turn to look in the other direction. Sana thought it might have been her imagination.

The game continued, this time it's truth and the bottle is pointing into Nayeon.

"Why are you still single now?" Jihyo asked curiously. She always wanted to ask that- because she knows how popular Nayeon is even on trainee days. Boys on popular groups and even actors had known to have a crush on her. Nayeon supports her friends' love life but when it comes to her, she never shares it with anyone.

"Because I'm too beautiful for anyone?" Nayeon said smiling.

"Tired of that excuse," Momo says rolling her eyes.

"okay fine,"Nayeon sighs, "Maybe because I've liked you all too much? I enjoy being with you all-- and I wouldn't be with guys who're not as fun as you all are."

"aww I'm touched, what's the real reason" Jihyo looked at her with eyes focus- still unconvinced even with Nayeon's touching message.

Nayeon could only laugh, "Why are you all bullying me!"

"This is called Truth or dare, not Lie or Dare," Jeongyeon says.

Nayeon sighs and bit her lip, "I'm telling the truth. I mean I wouldn't go out with a guy who can't cook carbonara or can't hang out with me to watch my favorite movie,"

It was then Jeongyeon stopped, and briefly smiled looking at Nayeon. Nayeon found herself smiling back with eyes soft and warm. Jeongyeon looked away with a blush on her cheeks. It was unexplained, but Jeongyeon gets it- It's their own little thing. In a way she doesn't know how to take. Platonically or romantically.

"I don't get it Nabong!!!" Jihyo groans.

"Just shut up Thomas and spin the bottle, we don't have all night," Jeongyeon says- biting the inside of her cheeks to stop the smile.

Dare again, and It landed on Tzuyu. The unnies decided to let her perform the 'sway with me' performance once again, and they all ended up dancing. It was fun. Truth came and the bottle landed on Momo and Jihyo asked if there's anyone she had interest before she dated Heechul. She shrugged and said no one. The next dare was for Jeongyeon and they forced her to finish a glass of beer straight- She's definitely drunk now.

The next one was truth and the bottle spinned, pointing to Mina. Mina sighs deeply.

"well, well Finally," Nayeon says. As if she's waiting for Mina to be cornered.

"ask away," Mina says.

"Is there anyone right now, you're secretly dating?" Jihyo asked- quickly. As if she's already waiting to ask it for ages.

Mina stopped.

Chaeyoung quietly watches. Her heart pounding with the question- of course, one answer could either make her hopes shoot up or shatter her heart right away. She looked around the members and saw them expecting.

"There isn't... but maybe consider dating someone," Mina smiles.

"omg!!! Who's the guy!!!" Jihyo squealed in excitement.

"Someone asked you out?!" Sana asked, "Minari!!! Tell us who!"

"okay- it's Bambam," Mina says, "He asked me out last week, and I'm thinking.. maybe I should try it."

"But.. aren't you two going out before?" Sana asked.

Sana knows they went out for almost 2 years but it ended for some reason the day Mina came home to their dorm crying.

"Yeah," Mina nods, "but we broke up because of some pretty reasons, and I guess now that the dating ban is lifted and I'm okay now, I mean my anxiety is healed, maybe we could give it a try again? I owe him at least the chance."

"He's a nice guy," Momo says.

"we'll be cheering for you!" Sana says cheerily.

Chaeyoung stayed silent. With roaring cheers coming from the members, she felt her heart shattered. She knows someday she had to let her go, but it didn't mean it would be this soon.

This is too soon, too soon because she's still so much in love. She looked at the glass of beer and drank it- trying to shove back the lump on . Trying to push down the tears that might come out.

Mina will date someone soon. And It's not her.

The mina whose smile is bright as the moon, who has a hobby of falling asleep on her bed, who likes sweet coffee, whose heart is deeper than anyone else-

Mina who's so perfect- but also so unattainable.

So unattainable that It hurts.

//

AN UPDATE AGAIN~