"His name is Felix and he's from Australia." Chan introduces me to a kid with a bright smile. "Isn't that amazing?!"

 

I shook his hand and gave him my name before waving them goodblye. Last night, grandma asked me to sing grandpa's song to her. She has her eyes closed and her back turned to me the whole time but the tear didn't go unnoticed. I asked her for a dance and somehow that made me realize that I have no time left. I'm going to graduate in less than a month and I have no clear path ahead of me.

 

One last time.

 

This is the last time I'm going to ask this company to have me as their producer and if I receive the same answer, I'm leaving. For good.

 

Will Chan react the same way he did last time? Will we have another fight? I want to be with them. I want to be with this small group until the day they sing my songs.

 

But unlike before, I am running out of time.

 

Knocking on the familiar glass door twice, I take a deep breath to steady myself. I can do this. The flashdrive is safely tucked in my pocket along with three business cards.

 

"Excuse me. I am here to submit a new demo." I announce as soon as their faces filled my vision.

 

"What's your name again?"

 

"My na-"

 

Wait.

 

I scan the small room and true enough; it was JYP. What is he doing here? 

 

I give him my name as my heart beats louder against my chest. Why is he here? I never saw him until now. I even earned a reputation of being the only senior trainee that never met our producer face to face.

 

He stands up and beckons me to follow him.

 

"Is this your first time submitting your own work?" He asks, his hands in his pockets.

 

"No, sir."

 

He looks at me for a brief second before walking again. "Who do you give your songs then?"

 

"I usually give them to Mr. Jung. The one who scouts the district? He said that he'd give you my songs."

 

Sir Park just nods before opening the door of his studio. Okay, breathe in and breathe out. It's the first time that you've seen him and there's nothing to be nervous about. Chan said he's a cool guy so there nothing to worry about. I watch him with my hands folded in front of me as he opens up some of his equipment.

 

"Shall we listen to it?"

 

I slowly placed the flash drive in his palms and prayed to every god and deity to let me come out of this room alive. Please. Please. Please. I don’t need any more humiliation.

 

That’s what he did for the whole three minutes. He listened to it, eyes closed, hands intertwined in front of his lips. How did the senior trainees come out of here alive? Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tried calming myself down. 

 

It’s okay. It’s okay. 

 

Three companies are interested in me to be their trainee. I can go somewhere once he kicks me out of here.

 

“It’s good.” He declares as the song fades.

 

“Sir?”

 

“The song is good. Although there are certain problems that surround it.” He starts, leaning back on his chair. “The lyrics and the melody are good. The instrumentals are a bit weak since you’re only using a guitar. Because of that, I think you have a very big potential since your song highlights and follows your lyrics and your melody instead of the other way around. The overall feel of the song really doesn’t suit any groups in JYP or any idol group for that matter so this is a reject.”

 

It’s a reject. 

 

After all of what the CEO said, those three words are the only ones that caught my ears. It’s not good.

 

“You did tell me that this is not your first time to submit a song, right?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“I’ll make sure to listen to some of your songs. For now, I want you to submit another one next week, okay?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“You can also use the equipment on the sixth floor if you need to.”

 

He continues to give me points and advice before he lets me leave. What just happened? Does that mean that my songs were… okay?

 

My hand finds its way to my pocket and strangely enough, the flash drive wasn’t there. That means, all of that was real. All of that happened and our CEO told me himself that he’d want another song by next week. He wants another song by next week.

 

This is all just a dream isn’t it? 

 

Someone’s pranking me, right? 

 

“What are you doing there?” Somi’s voice invades my ears.

 

“Somi.” I tried calming myself down. “What are you doing here?”

 

“There was a meeting for IOI’s next schedule. It’s too hectic with all of these companies just wanting to be in charge. I’d rather listen to Nayoung eonnie than the managers.”

 

“You’re too loud. They’ll hear you.”

 

“So what? Let them hear it.” She said, rolling her eyes, laughing a second later. “I’m kidding. Are you going to the cafeteria? Let’s eat together.”

 

She jogs ahead with an extra jump in her step. “Somi. What does it feel to finally debut?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“For the longest time all we do is chase our dreams. We work our butts off to debut and now that you’ve finally done it, does it feel… you know… like everything we ever thought it was?”

 

Before she can give her answer, our feet land on the cafeteria. We take our orders before sitting at our usual seat. The three idiots are already there with the new kid.

 

“I don’t know how to answer the question.”

 

“What?”

 

“What does it feel to finally debut?” She recalls as she stabs her salad. “It’s amazing but you already know that. It feels like everything was worth it but you already know that. So yeah, I think it is what we always thought of.”

 

“So you’re saying that debuting is just meh?” Chan asks from across us. “Don’t scare me like that. I’ve been here the longest.”

 

“No. It’s not so-so. Of course it feels great. The people around you are singing and dancing with you. I’m already where I want to be. How is that not amazing? It’s just…”

 

“It’s not like IOI is there forever?” I finished.

 

“It’s not like it’s a permanent group. Either way, I’m happy to finally be on stage. I’m happy I can finally dance and sing without the fear of being tested. Besides, weren’t you the one who taught me to cross the bridge once I got there? I’ll enjoy this for now.” She concludes. “You all can call me Somi-sunbae from now on.”

 

We all groan at her statement before placing our attention in our food. 

 

“Oh, right!” Changbin beams. “Want to hear our next song?”

 

My head snaps towards their direction.

 

What?

 

I just listened to one yesterday. How are they ma-

 

You know what? It doesn’t matter. I don’t care anymore. Bring it.

 

“You guys make your own songs?” Felix slowly enters the conversation. “That’s amazing.”