Review!
The Friendship Plan
Title:The Friendship Plan
Author: aslovefades
Genie Reviewer: Pararae
Creativity/Originality: 3/5 This story is not really but could be original. (Does it make any sense?) Based on your main idea which is a person makes a friendship plan so that she could be closer to a popular boy and be more than just an acquaintance, is a total cliché. But I say it might be able to be original if you actually twist the plot a little bit here and there and use your own imagination to create a unique storyline. As I said, you still have a long way to go with this story. Creativity is the aspect I can see from your writing. The way you write her point of view and the way you make her sound so different in a way or so is really good. I really like how you did it, and I feel quite impress with it.
Spelling/Vocabulary/Grammar/Punctuations: 9/10 You don’t really have any problems with this and in fact, I barely notice any error except for a small one like conceited"Popular" boy misconception of him out of your head. You forgot to put a space between ‘conceited’ and ‘popular’, or did you do it on purpose? There are a few other small mistakes as well, but I wouldn’t take many points off because it is not that critical. After all, I understand that your story has been edited before, so it wouldn’t be much of a problem. Just be careful in typing out your sentences and try to revise it back so that you won’t do any careless mistakes in your story.
Flow: 10/10 Your flow is pretty good. I didn’t see any rushing in your chapters and it didn’t move too slow either. Your flow is great for now, so try to keep it in a constant pace alright. I know you haven’t written this part yet, but just a reminder, try to be careful on your flow when the friendship plan starts, because usually the flow would go off a little when the writer starts to write the third and fourth chapter.
Author: aslovefades
Genie Reviewer: Pararae
Story Title: 3/5 Your title somewhat and somehow fit the plot. I made this statement based on your first two chapters and your summary because you haven’t posted the rest of the story yet. But I think it’s interesting enough to make me feel curious on what the plan is anyway. But I didn’t give you full marks because I think I have come across these types of titles a few times and it’s getting very common.
Appearance: 7/10 Well, in my opinion the poster is ok. It fits the mood of the story well enough that it did not distract or bother me in any way. But I think it can be improved greatly.
Forewords/Introduction: 8/10 The foreword/description is quite good. At least I’m getting something from here, and your summary really gives the title a glow. I actually feel intrigue in reading your story after I read the foreword which is good. So, try to keep it up and maybe add a little teaser here a there so that it will be more interesting.
Plot: 17/20 Well, you just posted your first two chapters and it hasn’t revealed anything significant yet. Your story is still developing and hasn’t come to its main point. But, from the first two chapters that you have posted, I like the idea of it. I like how the story started with the main character’s point of view. It didn’t get me laughing, but it gets a good spot in me. Your chapters are so exciting that I wished you have written more. There’s not much I can say here, but keep it up and keep it going, okie! ^^
Characterization: 9/10 Since I have to review based on your first two chapters, I wouldn’t be too harsh on this aspect because I think the other characters are not yet to come. But, I could say that you have characterized the main character good enough. I could imagine how her attitude would be like, but I think you didn’t really explain much on her physical features. Maybe because you’re writing it in her point of view, but try to elaborate more on it. Also, I would like to know more about her friends. You have a long way to go on the characterization because the story is still developing but for now, I think you have done well. =)
Creativity/Originality: 3/5 This story is not really but could be original. (Does it make any sense?) Based on your main idea which is a person makes a friendship plan so that she could be closer to a popular boy and be more than just an acquaintance, is a total cliché. But I say it might be able to be original if you actually twist the plot a little bit here and there and use your own imagination to create a unique storyline. As I said, you still have a long way to go with this story. Creativity is the aspect I can see from your writing. The way you write her point of view and the way you make her sound so different in a way or so is really good. I really like how you did it, and I feel quite impress with it.
Spelling/Vocabulary/Grammar/Punctuations: 9/10 You don’t really have any problems with this and in fact, I barely notice any error except for a small one like conceited"Popular" boy misconception of him out of your head. You forgot to put a space between ‘conceited’ and ‘popular’, or did you do it on purpose? There are a few other small mistakes as well, but I wouldn’t take many points off because it is not that critical. After all, I understand that your story has been edited before, so it wouldn’t be much of a problem. Just be careful in typing out your sentences and try to revise it back so that you won’t do any careless mistakes in your story.
Flow: 10/10 Your flow is pretty good. I didn’t see any rushing in your chapters and it didn’t move too slow either. Your flow is great for now, so try to keep it in a constant pace alright. I know you haven’t written this part yet, but just a reminder, try to be careful on your flow when the friendship plan starts, because usually the flow would go off a little when the writer starts to write the third and fourth chapter.
Writing Style: 14/15 Your writing skill is neat and easy to understand. I don’t really have a problem with it, but I realize that a few paragraphs aren’t separated. They are also not exactly double-spaced which is fine. You don’t have to separate or double space your paragraphs. But, try to be careful with that because it makes it easier to read and also to understand which character is speaking. Also, I like how you bold or use quotation marks to stress on a few words, because it enhanced the understanding of the readers but did not really distract them or disturb the flow of the story.
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5 I enjoy your story and I wish you could have written more. I can see that this story is going somewhere and that you have planned it through because there is no jumping scene or floppy statement. Keep it up and give it your best shot!
Total: 84/100
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Wow! I was expecting this to be way worse. This review made my day. :DDD
LOL. Go request from tellmeyourwish today! gogogo! you know you want to!
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