Unrequited Love
Missing YouThe bar was loud and Minseok could only numb himself here, along with liquors as he drank all his sorrows away. His eye caught a glimpse of his friend who was in fact always on the bar (though he doesn't know why) and drinking every night, he must have been trying to have kidney failure.
Minseok looked at Kim Jongdae from his seat, who approached him with a warm gaze.
"What are you doing here, Dae?" he asked, eyes leaving him as he drank another heartful of liquor on his stomach.
His eyes were distant and cold, not like the one that everyone used to see. The Minseok that everyone knew was warm and kind but only Jongdae had seen what type of guy he really was. He was watching him of course, he was a bundle of energy that attracts everyone with his gummy smiles.
"Still not giving up?" Jongdae asked as he took a seat next to him, taking the glass off of Minseok's hands causing the man's cat-like eyes to throw sharp daggers at him.
"Stop glaring, answer the damn question, punk." He scoffed as he sipped the drink in one go. Jongdae’s eyes are so expressive as if he was trying to read Minseok’s soul as he looked at him full of worry.
Minseok sighed to himself; he knew that he wasn't supposed to feel this way. He shouldn’t feel so hopeful about something that could only happen only in his dreams. He was living the nightmare and that nightmare was his reality. Oh how he wishes that it could end a little bit sooner, he hates to burden other people of his feelings.
"What can I do? He doesn’t like me,” he just replied and snatched back his glass on Jongdae’’s hand.
Jongdae nodded in understanding,silently listening to him. Minseok slouched at the bar’s couch, head on his hands. His soft yet broken voice full of sadness made Jongdae close his eyes.
"When he came back pregnant, I was heartbroken. Like that little bump on his tummy became the ending point of my dreams. I was mad at Sehun. He promised me that he would take care of Lulu, but he never did. I took my chances. I took care of Lulu and Shaoting, hoping that I could replace Sehun. But I never really stood a chance. I’m just…I’m just nothing to them,” he spoke out; his hands were open as if he was holding a book and reading his rejections.
Jongdae nodded and felt Minseok’s pain radiating to his own heart. Minseok's voice was trembling with a frustration that hardened his heart with bitterness.
"I thought I stood a chance. I love Shaoting like my own. He loves me back but when Sehun returned, I felt like I was standing in someone else’s place. It wasn’t my right to be there. It never was. I was just hallucinating,” he laughed bitterly and met Jongdae’s eyes.
“Lulu still loves him…after all these years. I can never be that guy. I can never be Sehun. I’m just Minseok, that’s all I’ll ever be.”
Jongdae moved closer and wrapped his arms around him. Hearing the little sobs of the man who was drunk with liquor and drunk with an unrequited love. All he could ever do is offer him the warmth of his arms that made Minseok cry a little harder.
"I-I know that he will never pick me, nor love me," he cried and a hiccup escaped from his mouth. His body racked with uncontrollable sobs.
He was living in a home that was never his. It was like playing house with someone he truly loved before the real one gets home.
Minseok’s eyes were closed and full of tears. Jongdae felt his heart break at his sentence. He sat with him for the longest time, constantly drying his tears and caressing his back until he was tired. Once he stopped talking, he immediately carried him in his arms, ignoring the stares of the people that were boring holes on his back. He carried him to his car and put him in the passenger seat.
Jongdae slid off his jacket before covering Minseok’s upper body. Looking at him with tender eyes, he smiled sadly at Minseok’s face and ran his hand through his hair before blinking some tears that moistened his eyes a little bit.
Minseok wasn’t the only one who lived in an unrequited love. He wasn’t the only one who had to live watching the person he loved being happy with someone else.
"Why don’t you choose me instead?" he whispered.
Minseok didn’t know that he held someone’s heart while he chased another and Jongdae had to wince every time Minseok would drop his heart.
Jongdae leaned his head against the steering wheel and felt a single tear escape his eyes.
“Because I’m…really dying here for your love that I will never have.”
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