The clock ticked 1 am, Baekhyun's heart ticked broken.

He couldn't help but get overwhelmed by the raw emotions of rage, frustration, and guilt when he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His lip was busted and bruises were burning painfully on the surface of his skin. A scowl twisted his lips at the sight, how he hated his own reflection. It reminded him of how weak he turned out to be day after day although experiencing things that should've made him grow stronger. And yet, Baekhyun never saw any changes. Especially when he'd observe it after being beaten up for the hundredth time by the same s, it counted another hundredth time of failure to stand up for himself. His mother had shed tears when he had returned home that day, with red, swollen eyes and blue marks all over his body, worry pooling her glossy orbs. Not even she did know about how Baekhyun had let himself become the punch bag of some bored bullies.

It had only been a couple of days and Jongdae hadn't shown up at school ever since. Only a couple of days, but truly, they had felt like entire weeks, though, the fresh cuts on his pale skin would always be there to remind him. Normally, there could have been an excuse for Jongdae to skip classes, but this once, even if the male hadn't said so himself Baekhyun knew it was to avoid him. He knew he had to talk to him and clear things out, but he felt so weak, so broken, but most of all scared. Scared that whatever he had to say, Jongdae wouldn't want to hear it because he had lied and betrayed their friendship. The fact that he had gone as far as skipping school to not see him made Baekhyun feel so damn helpless and afraid.

Because of that, Baekhyun had stopped hanging with you. No matter how much he liked you, it just felt so wrong to take in your soft expressions while his heart was somewhere else, while Jongdae was mad at him. So he asked for space, and you had been so understanding that it had truly hurt to be so distant from you when all he wanted was to hear your voice and have you comfort him, it was inevitable for his heart to fall for you all over again. But he couldn't allow himself to think about these things, not now.

He found himself recalling the very moment after he had slammed his belongings onto the floor when consumed by anger like he never had been before. When you had seen him being beaten up, when you had seen him in his most vulnerable state. Baekhyun had been well aware of what you had meant when you had ever so gently put the glasses back on his face, when you had caressed his bruised cheek. That you accepted him for who he was. Though at that moment, he hadn't been able to take the gesture, the amount of hate within had been consuming him, his chest on fire of anger.

"I'm sorry-" he had breathed out. His eyes painfully closed and fingers twitching ever so slightly against your skin. "I need to be alone, for a while." A while meant longer than just a few hours, longer than a day or two, it meant until he made up with jongdae.

Another two days flew past him and it had felt as if he had been standing in the same spot without moving an inch, although he had taken care of a couple of important matters. The bruises on his face hadn't gone unnoticed by the whole school and it had been a matter of time before he and the bullies got involved with the principal himself.

This had been the first time that Baekhyun tasted the true bitter taste of hardship on his very tongue. He had never known that facing confrontation could've been so hard, so scary. For that matter, he had once again realized how much of a coward he truly was. It kept him up at night, the frustration and guilt would take any chance it had to haunt him until he wouldn't be able to feel anything at all. Until he was numb. Every fruitless day he'd tell himself that he was still gathering his courage. But really, he was lying to himself in a desperate attempt to justify his cowardice.

It felt hard, but truly, all he had to do was go to his house and do it. Just do it.

The clock ticked past 1 am, and it was then that the boy felt an intense urge to leave his house. Sleep had been chased long ago- days ago even. He had nothing to lose, nothing but a precious friendship. He figured out that the right moment he had been aimlessly waiting for, would've never come. It all depended on him. Throwing on a random hoodie over his pajama shirt, Baekhyun quietly sneaked out of the house, and in just a few minutes, he was standing in front of Jongdae's porch. He knew that he couldn't possibly knock in the door, so with clammy and shaky hands, he dialed Jongdae's number and called, pressing the electronic to his ear. A disbelieved chuckle almost left Baekhyun's lips at the way he found himself feeling. It was just Jongdae and yet his heart was trembling, threatening to jump out of his throat while his body turned as rigid as a rock.

Baekhyun began losing confidence and hope when the line hit the 9th ring, though, his tongue tied itself in his mouth when he heard the call getting answered, Jongdae's sleepy and extremely annoyed voice reached his ears.

"Who the calls at this hour?" Baekhyun knew that wasn't meant to be heard, but his friend was nothing less than what he used to be any day, any time if the day: loud.

"Hello?" The best friend hissed into the speaker and Baekhyun almost flinched, feeling a sudden urge to end the call and run back home. But he swallowed the dry lump down and stood his ground through the fear and nervousness.

"Jongdae-" He managed to croak breathlessly, "It's me, Baekhyun."

"Baekhyun?" A spark of hope surged in his chest at the suddenly woke tone in Jongdae's voice, mixed with a pleasant surprise that he hadn't been able to hide.

"Yeah. Can you come out for a second? I'm right outside." It was painstakingly obvious how hesitant Jongdae was being behind the wooden door that was by now extremely slowly opening before him. Jongdae's lips were pressed into a thin line when Baekhyun came into his view, being extremely cautious of letting any emotion take over his features. Jongdae's voice void of any emotions as he mumbled a quiet yet seemingly angry "What are you doing here?" that made Baekhyun want to cower away if it hadn't been for his friend's extremely loud eyes betraying the facade he was pulling. Baekhyun could tell the hint of curiosity and relief on Jongdae's face and that was enough to encourage him.

It took him a few nervous gulps to finally part his lips and speak the sentences that for days had been dancing in his mind as he tried to find a proper formulation.

"I am sorry, Jongdae, for lying to you and breaking your trust." At first, Baekhyun hadn't been able to speak any louder than a mere whisper, but his as his gaze settled on the male in front of him and unfocused, words started pouring from his tongue. As if in a dally, Baekhyun felt like he wasn't hearing everything he was saying- as if his heart was speaking.

"I know that you're upset with me, but I just wanted to tell you that I took care of things. I spoke with the principal and th-they got expelled from the school. No more of this madness. I'm sorry for not telling you about them." Baekhyun hoped that Jongdae wasn't upset enough to not spare him an ear for the things he was saying. To his relief, the best friend had indeed listened and had questions as well.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jongdae let go of his facade and let the mix of disbelief and sadness drip through his words, sending a desperate expression in Baekhyun's way. His fists clenched at the sound of his question. Jongdae had never been the problem, and Baekhyun hoped he knew that.

"I-" Teeth drilled into his lip, his thoughts jumbled into the most massive mess, what was he supposed to say? Baekhyun dreaded to pronounce the truth that made him hate himself even more. "I was being prideful. " Baekhyun finally revealed, voice breathy and anxious. "You've always protected me, Jongdae. And I am so thankful, but I couldn't stand hiding behind you anymore, you understand me, right? I wanted to be strong on my own, I wanted to solve this on my own." His head hung low as he shamefully looked down to his feet, his cold fingertips attacking each other in nervous fidgets.

"But I failed miserably."

"Baekhyun-" Before Jongdae could start telling him otherwise Baekhyun shook his head vigorously at him, "No, Jongdae." He said, pushing the round glasses up his nose and the gesture gave Jongdae a slight sensation of nostalgia although it had been only a couple of days. "This is the truth and I'm doing everything I can to accept it."

"I've realized it. That I can't do everything solely with my own strength, it won't ever work out, and that's just how I am. I am not endlessly strong. It to admit but it applies to everyone in the end. Not telling you was a mistake, not getting professional help take care of things was a mistake." A sigh tumbled down his lips as it felt like a huge weight had been finally been lifted from his chest. " It was wrong of me to prioritize not feeling humiliated over my well being."

All this while, Jongdae could do nothing but listen to his best friend pouring his heart to him with wide eyes, words that he had never expected to hear from Baekhyun himself, but that deep down made him feel extremely proud.

Baekhyun then surprised him once more with a sudden lighthearted chuckle, "Even when you're not here, you manage to lead me on the right path, it's crazy." He chimed, referring to Jongdae's absence by his side. "I hope you're still willing to do that?" Baekhyun questioned, intending to ask him to still be his friend, and he knew everything had turned out for the best when Jongdae broke into his usual goofy smile, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

"You might as well just say you're in love with me." He laughed hysterically as Baekhyun immediately pushed him away with a shocked, pouty frown on his face and scarlet red cheeks.

"What the , Jongdae? I'm trying to make up for my mistakes and this is what you do?" Baekhyun hissed and crossed his arms over his body as if Jongdae had just violated him. The latter rolled his eyes dramatically and threw an arm over his shoulder, waving his previous words away. "Naw, don't be like that Baek, it's not my fault you're such a girl." He sighed but soon enough, his lips were curling into a sincere smile, a happy glint appearing in his brown orbs. "But I forgive you."

"Speaking of girls, how's the progress with your love interest?" Jongdae asked cheesily, throwing him a sugary smirk that made Baekhyun want to throw up.

"My love life isn't a comic, Jongdae," Baekhyun grumbled, secretly saying that just so that he could buy time before disappointing his friend. Jongdae stiffened at the word comic and the memories it brought back to him. He mumbled something incomprehensible under his breath before clearing his throat weirdly. Though, Baekhyun knew better than to give his antics attention.

They took a seat by the porch and Baekhyun didn't know how to start telling Jongdae that he might've ruined his very few chances with you, scratching his black hair with an indecisive pout on his lips he hummed thoughtfully. "I actually...Well, I kissed her?" Baekhyun started, cringing at the massive gasp that Jongdae let out next to him, probably so that he could hold himself from hollering in the whole neighborhood. "But when you stopped coming to school, I told her I needed to distance myself until things were back into its place." He fi