A/N: don't forget, black lives matter! go to blacklivesmatter.carrd.co for more information and things you can do to contribute to the movement. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As a 'on the verge between tipsy and drunk' Mark sat in the back of the lyft, he wondered if maybe it was a bad idea for the boys to go to another rave. 

That evening they'd all met up at Jaemin's house, raided his parents' untouched liquor cabinet and got pretty wasted. Now they were all crammed in one lyft, on their way to the DNA lounge armed with tickets they'd all bought on a drunken whim earlier that night. 

"Chenle, you better let me sleep over!" Renjun yelled to the back where he and Jisung were laughing their asses off. 

"Duh!" Chenle screamed back, the lyft driver grimacing to himself as the seven boys made a drunken ruckus in the car. 

"Thank god we're not taking my ing car," Jeno drawled. "We can have fun." 

"No worries babe," Jaemin responded, kissing up on Jeno's neck, only stopping when both the driver and Renjun shot him a glare. 

Finally they arrived, and he let them out. They responded with loud "thank yous!" before heading inside, the line short since the rave had already begun. 

Mark remembered everything like the first rave had happened yesterday. The flashing lights, the throbbing bass, the youthful bodies crammed into the tiny dark space, the scent of liquor and body odor and teenage rebellion in its least refined form. 

But last time Mark had been way more sober. Now, everything seeped into him in a different way; he felt like he was a part of the walls and the floors and the people around him, the pulsating music ringing in his ears, everything just slightly blurry but his adrenaline on high. 

"Woo!" He cried, and everyone laughed but he couldn't care less, god damn he'd never felt more alive. 

Chenle and Jisung cheered, grabbing onto each other's hands to not get separated and running up to the second floor. The others watched them go with a giggle, the bottoms of their asses hanging out of the tiny booty shorts they'd borrowed from Jaemin for the occasion. 

They were all lucky they'd been at Jaemin's when they decided to go, because his closet was absolutely loaded with rave clothes (he swore by dollskill and bought one item from them every month). Jaemin chose the more wild approach, glitter and neon and bare legs and tight clothes. Jeno, too, was half , although it was more to keep other guys away from Jaemin rather than impress people himself. Donghyuck smelled like middle school girls but he was the picture of masculinity, the leather jacket of his layered over another see through top (where Mark could make out a faint tattoo on his chest). While Renjun and Mark were more tame, they weren't dressed like edgy youth pastors like last time; opting for more trendy work pants and revealing tops. 

"I'm gonna go find the kids," Renjun yelled over the music. "Make sure they don't do anything stupid." 

"You're too late!" Jeno yelled back. 

"Good luck finding them too," Jaemin added. Renjun sighed and bounded up the stairs after them, the white of his t-shirt glowing under the blacklights. 

The four boys leftover began to dance, no inhibitions when the alcohol and the bass flowed through Mark's veins.

Mark wasn't nervous about anything at all for once in his goddamn life so he leaned in closer to Donghyuck, Donghyuck catching him by wrapping an arm around his waist. 

"Is that another tattoo on your chest?" He asked, blatantly staring through Donghyuck's see through shirt. 

Donghyuck grinned. "Yup. Another stick and poke; one of Jisung's masterpieces." 

Mark bit his lip and in his head, said ' it.' "Show me it sometime," he responded with a giggle, pulling away and right out laughing. Donghyuck gave him a surprised look and a smirky grin; and Mark knew Donghyuck would take him up on that offer. 

"Tease," Jaemin mouthed to Donghyuck, gesturing to Mark. 

"," Donghyuck mouthed back, with feeling, but Mark didn't notice, ruffling his hair and following the music. 

Dancing with his friends was fun and friendly until Jaemin and Jeno dancing on each other became Jaemin and Jeno grinding on each other. And when Jaemin and Jeno grinding on each other turned into Jaemin and Jeno making out with each other, in the middle of the dance floor no less, bumping into everyone around them, Mark and Donghyuck figured it was time to leave them be. 

The two of them pushed their way from the middle of the dance floor to right in front of the stage, gripping each other's hands so they wouldn't lose each other in the massive crowd. If Mark was sober he would've been nervous and shy and thrilled by this simple touch but he was just ing drunk and it felt natural, it felt right. 

Mark and Donghyuck looked at each other and giggled softly with joy, a tension there that had never existed before that Mark couldn't place. He tried to laugh it away before dancing closer and closer, and without question Donghyuck came in too. 

The smile came off Mark's face but it wasn't because he was unhappy. No, now he was too enthralled with Donghyuck; everything else faded away except the music and Donghyuck looking at him. His heart began to pump in his chest; he could feel it, and his breathing was fast. Butterflies terrorized his stomach but he wasn't nervous, just excited, something sober Mark would never have the liberty of. 

Donghyuck stared back at him, the look in his eyes combining lust and affection to make pure passion, and Mark swore his heart had never beat harder. Their eyes were on each other; nothing and nobody could have broken their contact at that moment. Donghyuck's eyes flickered once, twice down to Mark's lips, and finally Mark realized this was really going to happen. 

Even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Mark had spent his entire friendship convincing himself that Donghyuck could never like him, that Donghyuck was way too cool for him, that Donghyuck could never be attracted to him either physically or romantically. But here he was, Donghyuck's eyes on his lips, dancing closer until their chests pressed together. Mark could feel Donghyuck's breaths fan across his face and he briefly thought about how it had been literally years since he'd kissed anyone, oh god he was out of practice, and what if this was just physical? What if Donghyuck only wanted him for this? 

Mark didn't care all that much, his brain couldn't process really anything at that moment and he was just grateful Donghyuck wanted him in any way at all. Donghyuck wrapped his arms around Mark's waist, as if a cue that yes, he could do it, and Mark started to shut his eyes when--

"Mark!" Renjun yelled, suddenly shaking his shoulder. His voice was panicked but Donghyuck and Mark just turned to him with extreme disappointment. 

"Renjun! Dude!" Donghyuck yelled with genuine anger. Renjun grimaced and realized he'd interrupted an important moment. 

"Sorry," he responded genuinely. "But it's serious." He turned to Mark. "Chenle drank too much; he's puking in the bathroom." 

"," Mark groaned, and the three of them raced to the bathroom, sobering up surprisingly quickly. 

Mark squinted at the bright lights of the bathroom, glitter mixed with water drenching the sink. Jisung was inside too, standing in front of one of the stalls with a worried expression. 

"I'll go get Jeno and Jaemin," Donghyuck said, rushing out. Mark nodded at him and knocked on the small stall by Jisung. 

"Can I come in?" He asked softly. Chenle released a tiny, pathetic noise, and Mark pushed his way inside. 

Chenle was crouched over the toilet bowl, leaning his head on one side of it. The longer parts of his dyed green hair had begun to fall into the toilet water, so Mark combed his fingers through them and held them back. 

"I'm sorry," Chenle croaked out after a few minutes. 

"No, it's alright," Mark answered. And he was telling the truth; even though he wished he'd been able to kiss Donghyuck, knowing his best friend was safe was so, so much more important. 

"I bet you were having fun," Chenle drawled sadly. 

"It's totally fine, Chenle. I just wanna be here with you." Mark grimaced as he suddenly heard the noises of Chenle throwing up into the toilet bowl, immediately feeling bad for Jeno and Donghyuck that time he threw up in Jeno's sink. It really was just as gross as teen movies made it out to be. 

Chenle started to wipe his mouth on his sleeve and Mark passed him a piece of toilet paper. 

"Thanks," Chenle said quietly. It was odd being in this tiny, crammed stall with Chenle; he'd never heard him be so quiet before. It was so damn hot that Mark had worked up a massive sweat just by standing in there, claustrophobia pushing at him but he couldn't care less. Luckily he still had alcohol in him or he would've been in an absolute panic over Chenle's health. 

He tried to think of what could help Chenle out. Probably getting him home would be their best bet, and getting some water. 

"Renjun?" Mark called. 

"Yeah?"

"Could you get me a bottle of water?" 

"Yeah," he responded, opening the door. Jeno and Jaemin peered in from the outside, wearing a worried expression before it softened. They shared a look and nodded as Renjun grabbed some cash from Jeno to get the water bottle. 

He returned a few moments later, passing it to Mark who immediately insisted Chenle drink some. 

"Don't worry," Renjun whispered. "Jeno and Jaemin say he'll be fine. Not even close to alcohol poisoning." 

"Are you sure?" Mark whispered back, still holding Chenle's hair as he puked up another round. 

Renjun nodded and Jaemin stepped beside him. "I'm sure. He just had too much cheap spiced rum; that always does you in. We should get him home though." 

Mark nodded and looked down at Chenle, who pouted at him from the corner of his eye. 

"Could you shut the door? I'm embarrassed," Chenle asked, and Mark immediately obliged. 

"Are you doing better?" Mark asked. 

"A little," Chenle responded quietly. 

"Can you sit up or stand?" Chenle sat up for a few moments but leaned back down to throw up again. 

"I'm sorry," Chenle mumbled, reaching to wipe his mouth on his sleeve again before Mark passed another tissue to him. 

"It's okay, Lele," Mark responded affectionately, braiding the little hairs he held back. "It happens to all of us." 

"It's the first time for me." 

Mark sighed, remembering Chenle was a year younger than him, how this all might be just a bit scarier. He rubbed his shoulder as Chenle made another attempt to sit up. This time it worked, even though his eyes looked like his head was spinning. 

"I'm sorry," he repeated. 

"You don't have to keep saying it," Mark responded gently. 

"You...you're such a good friend to me. Even though I'm stupid." 

"You're not stupid!" Mark cried. 

"I wish I was smart like you. I admire you so much, Mark. Maybe you're a little boring but....you know everything." 

"I don't know everything, Lele. I can promise you that. I don't know very much, actually. , I don't even know how to get the guy that legit likes me to be my boyfriend." 

"Me either," Chenle responded with a soft sigh. Mark's curiosity was immediately peaked, but he didn't press. "I'm sorry," he added after the silence. 

"You don't have to say that anymore," Mark responded. "I just wanna know you're alright. Are you feeling better?"

Chenle nodded and looked up at Mark, immediately groaning and clutching his head. 

"Thank you...." 

"It's nothing, I swear. Any good friend would do the same." 

"No Mark. Thank you...for being my friend." 

Mark was suddenly overwhelmed with love for one of his best friends, the silly happy goofy joyous junior he sometimes forgot had feelings too. Mark rubbed his shoulder and gave him a smile. 

"It's an honor," he responded. "Can you stand up? I really wanna get you home." 

Chenle nodded and stood up, almost falling and catching himself on Mark's shoulder. Mark wrapped another arm around his shoulder, and the pair pushed their way out of the bathroom. 

When the others saw the two they immediately cheered, Jisung throwing Chenle a smile. 

"Alright, I'll order you guys a lyft," Donghyuck said, pulling out his phone. 

"Chenle, can Renjun and Mark sleep over?" Jaemin asked

Chenle nodded, and Jaemin turned to Mark and Renjun while Jisung helped hold Chenle up. "I want you guys to watch out for him. Make sure he takes an advil, drinks plenty of water, and sleeps on his side, alright?" Mark and Renjun nodded in understanding, and Jeno patted Chenle on the back. 

"I'm sorry your raves keep getting ruined," he said. 

"It was fun while it lasted," Mark responded with a genuine smile. 

Chenle groaned loudly. "I'm never drinking again."