I got woken up by screams, but I wasn't the one screaming this time. I didn't even remember having nightmares at night.

I looked around confused. "Kyungsoo?" I called to check what was happening with my roomamte. I did my best to remember last day, but my thoughts were limited, because I had just woken up. 

I saw Kyungsoo looking in the mirror with horrified look. "What the  happened to me!!!" he shauted again. "Look at me Baek! I am a nightmare!" 

I got out of my bed and stepped closer to see what was the problem. When I saw him, I remembered what had happened last night. We had been at the party and I had put Kyungsoo in his bed with his make-up on. I had carried him back here, because he had gotten drunk. 

The make-up was now all over his face. He actually looked like someone had punched him and then mopped the ground with his face. His eyes were a bit red and tired and he was obviously effected by all the alcohol from before. 

"Damn," I said and narrowed my eyes. "You don't really look that bad-" I made a fake smile on my face to make him feel better, but it didn't help.

"Seriously, you were able to clean yourself, but couldn't help me?" He said with envy.

It was true. I had taken time for a shower, after I had gotten rid of him. It had been very late, but I really hadn't wanted to go in bed dirty and smell like alcohol and all sweaty people, who had been around me at the party. 

"I don't care how you go to sleep," I told him. "It's your fault, that you got so drunk. I just carried you back, that's enough! And I don't think make-up is the only problem on your face... You would look just as awful without it..."

"I hate you! I look horrible, I smell and my head hurts like hell!" 

"You are absolutely right," I said. "I don't know how was I able to sleep here with you. I can smell you to here! By the way, none of these is my fault.... That is what too much alcohol does!" 

"Do you think I don't know?" Kyungsoo widely opened his red, tired eyes and looked at me angry. 

"It is Sunday.... You will be okay until tomorrow..." I laughed and walked away. Kyungsoo tried to get the make up off his face, but soon gave up. I just ignored him and went to get my phone. It was early on the morning and as soon as I came back, I saw him lying in his bed completely motionless. 

"Will you wake up and join me at breakfast or just lay here like a dead bug?" 

"I can't go to the breakfast looking like that," He was talking in his pillow. "I will just pretend, that I am dead..." 

"That won't be hard, you already look like a bus drove over you yesterday... You just starve here, I don't care! Soon enough you will be thankful, that I got you from the party and brought you here alive!" 

When I joined others at breakfast, everyone was talking about the party and things, that had happened, after I had left with Kyungsoo. I kept myself quiet most of the time, because I didn't really know, what had been happening when I hadn't been around and I also didn't have anything interesting to tell. When I returned to my room, Kyungsoo was snoring loudly, so I decided not to wake him up. 

I sat on my bed and waited on him to wake up. I looked at the time. We didn't have any schedule, but I was pretty sure Kyungsoo wouldn't just go through one day, without hanging out with his other friends. I was also sure that he wouldn't ignore everyone after a party like that, just because he looks a bit bad. Everyone looked a bit exhausted that day actually, which wasn't odd at all.

Kyungsoo woke up only an hour before lunch time. I helped him to clean himself up, so he looked a bit better than before. Well, If I was honest, he looked better than most boys who had also gotten drunk the day before.

"My head still hurts!" Kyungsoo groaned right after he took a seat next to me.

"Not my fault..." I said uninterested.

"You actually had just okay night. Why do I get all the bad?!" he whined.

"Look, next time don't expect too much fun on a party like that. You should know this will happen and after all I warned you about drinking, but you decided to not listen and made yourself stupid!" I replied a bit annoyed, because of Kyungsoo and his absurdity.

"Ahhh I hate you! Where is something useful from you?!" he didn't stop complaining. "You literally did nothing for me!"

"Wow, that one is rough Minion!" Jongin came, holding his plate with lunch in his hands. He was wearing casual clothes, which were showing his nice body propotions. He cought Kyungsoo's last words and didn't look pleased about it. "Ahhhh... Of course you guys are always like that. I'm not shocked," said Jongin after taking a seat next to me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. 

"Don't worry, Baekhyun. You are more than useful. Don't listen to him, he is obviously one of the Minions like Taemin," Jongin said.

I tried to speak up, but got interputed by Kyungsoo. "The what? Minions?! You called me that way?!"

"Yes... Minions... Minho squad," said Jongin with a bit disgusted.

"Minho squad? I have no ideas what you mean, but I think you got wrong information about me," he said feriously. A few seconds ago his eyes were shining on sight of Jongin, but now his look darkened and got confused.

"Ohhhh, I saw it with my own eyes! There is no way you aren't his Minion. However I don't really care on whose side you are. You aren't even in my unit and obviously Baekhyun is friend with you."

"Yeah, Baekhyun is my best friend!" Kyungsoo said.

"Is that true?" Jongin looked at me.

"Well yeah it is," It had been a while, since I had someone as my best friend. I lost most...well all of my friends after the third year of high school and I hadn't really gotten any chance to get new friends until now. Kyungsoo really was my best friend, because I could talk with him almost about everything that was bothering me and we spend most of our time together. 

"You should find better friends," Jongin told me and drank a bit of his drink completely unbothered.

I saw the angry look Kyungsoo gave Jongin as he said that and I knew this wasn't going to end well. "How dare you say something like that about me!" he protested. "You don't even know me!"

"True," Jongin looked at him and made a fake smile. "I won't tell Baekhyun to completely ignore you, since I believe you aren't that bad and I don't want to harm my unit's members, especially not the ones who are on my side! You aren't even in my unit so I don't really know why am I spending my time arguing with you." Jongin said and later paid more attention to his lunch.

I looked to my food, but didn't feel like eating. I thought about the things that could bother Jongin so much about Kyungsoo and finally remembered. "Kyungsoo," I said and he looked at me curiously.

"What will you unfriend me?" he asked.

I shook my head to deny this. "I think I know what Jongin meant before," I told him.

"Of course you know," Jongin involved himself again. "You were there. We all were there!"

Kyungsoo looked at me even more confused. 

"Soo... I think you are missing something..." I slowly began. "I think Jongin is talking about the last night... You don't remembar a thing?" I wasn't sure if it would be good to tell him what had happened, but this was the best way to explain him why was Jongin acting that way.

"What the heck are you talking about?!" Kyungsoo became impatient and bit his lower lip.

"Kyungsoo... You probably accidentaly made out with Minho a little... Well actually a lot... And some more stuff..." I said quietly just for him to hear. Kyungsoo stared at me numb and shocked. 

"B-But... I-I wouldn't.... ever.... How-" were the only words Kyungsoo let out. His breathing got faster and he got white as a wall. "I was drunk! I would never go with him, or make out with him," he breathed out and glared at Jongin, who wasn't paying any attention to him and his excuses. He just shook his head in disagreement.

When Kyungsoo saw Jongin's reaction, his eyes teared. He stood up and rushed out of the place. In a matter of seconds there was only his plate left and an awkward atmosphere. 

"What's up with him? Is he like that all the time?" Jongin asked after Kyungsoo's action.

"You wouldn't even dream about it, if I told you..." I replied, making Jongin confused, but not worried about it.

"Maybe he hit his head a bit too much after I had shot him on the match," he said.

I looked at him and nodded. "Yeah..." I agreed. "He doesn't act like that most of the time,"

Jongin didn't reply. Probably because he was busy eating, or he just didn't know what to say. I would've probably also stayed quiet, if I had been on Jongins place. I knew that his competition with Minho was quite serious and it just couldn't come to the end. I had had some hopes that it would've been over after one got that captain position, but it didn't. 

"You know, I will go," I said after some time.

"What you won't eat anything?" Jongoin's look widened. "You wanna get even more skinny?"

"No, I'll just check on Kyungsoo..." I stood up. "I am the last one you should be worried about!"

"Oka~ See you later then," replied Jongin and I hurried to find my roommate.

Luckily Kyungsoo didn't lock the door of the room. I left my keys inside and I wasn't really sure if he would open the door for me in that moment. I found Kyungsoo lying on his bed, with his face in the pillow, while gasping into it.

"I'm a ing idiot! I screwed everything!" he cried into his pillow.

"You really did," I told him the truth and my friend looked at me angry, because of that reply.

"You are not helping!" he shauted and pushed me a bit away from him.

"Kyungsoo..." I slowly and carefully said, to get his attention, but he kept his face in the pillow. "You were drunk anyway... Jongin will get that soon and it will be like it never happened." I tried again.

"Ohhh, like Jongin cares! I kissed the wrong person! He hates me now!" he cried and showed his face. It didn't really look like he was crying, but he was seriously hurt and broken.

"Do you like him that much?!" I asked and Kyungsoo slowly nodded and I noticed that tears slid down his cheeks afterall. I didn't expect to see him cry, since he was much more tough than I was.

"You know, Minho isn't that bad," I said.

"He is not Jongin," he told me. "This is like you would say that you are also single. I don't care I want Jongin! He is like an angel next to average humans on this campus!"

"You are weird," I said.

"That is what love does," he sobbed.

"Yeah, I am not sure about that. You are overreacting!"

He looked at me serious and I knew that I probably shouldn't have said that to him. "I AM NOT OVERREACTING!"

"Okay, you still can explain this all to him. You still have like four years on this university. I guess you will get your chance by then. Tell him you weren't at your mind at all. He should understand and I can help you with it. He trusts me!" 

"Did you even see how he looked at me?! He will never forget this. I ing kissed Minho! I don't have a chance to get him now!" he cried again and burried his face in the pillow again.

"Soo, you are wrong! You still have chances to get his heart and don't you dare say other way! Stop crying, be yourself and fix what you did!" I said with strict voice. I grabbed a packet of wipes and handed them to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo took them and sobbed once again. 

"Uhuh, you think this will help?" Kyungsoo asked weakly.

I rolled my eyes "Of course! I thought you will be smarter than that," 

"M-Maybe..."

I had a feeling like trainings were getting harder and harder every day. At first we were only doing exercises to get muscles and better condition. Now we were having differend kinds of battles and racings. I was trying to do the best as I could, but it was obvious that I was weaker than other students. 

When the training started on Monday, we all waited for major Park to come. Jongin was now standing in the front of our unit, because he was the captain. The one who had to stand and speak for us.

Major came exactly on time as always (almost always)... He was wearing black trousers and T-shirt. He actually didn't look so annoyed and bothered, like he usualy did, so I wished he wasn't planning on destroying my day like always.

"It seems like everyone stayed alive after Saturday night...." He spoke as he came to us. "That disappoints me a bit, but let's just start with our training! Captain Kim, is everyone present?!" 

"Yes, sir!" Jongin said seriously. 

"Good, I am not in mood for counting you all..." major said and turned around. "Follow me. We are going to our today's training field." 

We all moved and soon came to a place where we would have training. The place was full of different obstacles of all sizes. Ropes were hanging of them, pools with water and a few smaller trampolines were around, ready for us.

"OCR, obstacle course racing!" major spoke after some time. "I hope you all know what you will do here..."

I pressed my lips together and thought about the way over all of those obstacles. It would a big challenge to get over all, even for someone like Jongin... maybe even for major Park, but I wasn't really sure how good he actually was with everything. 

"Sir," I raised my voice before he could continue. "We have to go over these all, or just some after you show us how to do it?" 

Major Park smirked at me and then spoke. "Is there a problem, Byun?" he asked. "I told you about this two days ago and you didn't bother to do a research about it? Obstacle racing has always been used for military training, since it is one of the best ways to test endurance, strength, speed and dexterity! One single mistake and you will end up in a mud and in the best case with a broken leg. You for sure did this at school, but this one is much harder,"

"So the answer on my question is...?" I asked and looked down to the ground. 

"And I am sure you already know the answer on your question, Byun." he crossed his arms. "It is quite obvious what to do here and I won't show you how to climb, run, jump and carry something. I guess you all are enough capable of doing something like that!"

"Yes, sir," I said. 

"Baek, you probably should stay quiet from time to time..." Jongin whispered to me. 

"Yes, Byun! Listen to your captain if you can't listen to me!" major Park said and Jongin was obviously annoyed by the fact that he heard that. 

"I just asked a question," I complained. 

Major put finger on his lips to silence me. He slowly stepped closer and looked at me seriously. "Why don't you start, Byun!" he smirked. "Strange how I was planing to send you first anyway for no reason, but now I actually do have one... You will go first and everyone else will follow you later. You have very important position here, Byun!" 

I rolled with my eyes and stepped forward. 

"Oh, you will just give up?" he asked surprised. "Well I respect that, but it won't help you a lot..." I just wanted to get over that quickly. I just had to do my best and I could end this. Major lead me to the line and other students followed us to see better. "You probably know what to do with each obstacle. I give you three minutes to figure out everything now!" 

I looked at the way in front of me. I quickly analysed the obstacles and tried to find what would be the easiest way to get over all. Thinking about it wasn't hard, but I knew working on it would make me more problems. 

"Okay, Byun!" he suddenly said and my blood froze. "I will count your time with a stopwatch so do your best,"

I didn't even listen to him, but just tried to calm down. 

"Ready!" he called. 

"GO!"

This surprised me, because I expected 'set' to come before 'go'. 

I started to run as fast as I could. I came to the first obstacle and climbed over it. It wasn't that hard, since I was pretty good at climbing, so I got over it quickly. Next challenges were harder, but I didn't want to give up. I was running, climbing, swinging around, crawling, jumping and everything else my body could do. Major Park was right, when he had said it's much harder than the ones at school, but I still did everything without any bigger problems. I saw him walking behind me and watching every move I did. 

"Byun, it's called racing! You are slow for racing," I heard his strict voice. I was already feeling tired and my muscles ached, but I still speeded up a bit to make sure major wouldn't complain anymore. I knew he would use this against me if I wasn't enough fast.

I was just about to climb up a rope, which was hanging of a wooden wall, about 8 feet high. I took it in my hands, but right when I was about to pull myself up, my hands ached and I stayed on the ground. I strugled, but even after the 5th try I couldn't do it.

"Byun, what are you waiting for? I thought you are better than this!" major Park spoke once he noticed, that I couldn't do it.

I wanted to complain, but decided it's not the best thing to do. I let my arms rest for a bit and then tried again. I almost fell down again, but I didn't give up. I came to the top and from there saw that there were only 2 obstacles left.

I wanted to end this and take a rest, so I jumped off the obstace, but regreted it right after. Under the obstacle was a pool and I jumped directly into it. The water wasn't deep only about 3 inches, but when I opened my eyes I saw that this wasn't just water. It looked more like a blood. A pool filled with red and sticky blood.

I fell on my knees and it splashed over my body.

I got numb in horror. My hands, uniform, face and legs were now covered in blood. I closed my eyes and prayed that this wasn't real. When I opened them again, I found my hands still covered with red liquid. 

My dreams appeared in his mind. Flasbacks from my past. When I had the same bloody hands like now. Memories were swinging around me. I heard voices around me. I saw him. Woosuk. Screaming and telling me about all mistakes I had done.

I covered my ears and looked to the side, where I saw major Park laughing at me, enjoying the sight of me in his pool.

My mind started to spin around. My hands and then whole body started to shake. My breathing got heavier, but I had a feeling like there was no air in my lungs. I closed my eyes again, but I was still seeing all the scenes that horrifdied me and the voices just got louder.

I screamed, but couldn't stop the voices. My body was barely able to hold me up now and I clenched down, pushing my elbows in the blood. I screamed until a pair of hands was on my body, pulling me out of the pool. I got scared and kicked around to get rid of the hands on me. I opened eyes, but everything I saw was my past. I kept screaming and tried to shake everything away, but with no luck. 

"What's wrong with him?" asked major Park. His now serious voice sounded more like an echo in my head. I looked around and saw that everyone was standing around me, curious of what was happening.

Jongin was the one who had pulled me out of the pool, but he probably backed away, because I started to fight. I could feel when major Park approached me. "Byun, what the heck are you doing?" he asked, while I was still tembling.

I tried to speak up, but my hallucinations came back and I collapsed in screams again. My voice was getting sore, but I didn't stop. I would do anything to stop all the voices and memories sorounding me.

"Take him away now!" ordered major Park and two of the boys grabbed me tightly.

"Sir, where-?" It was Jongin.

"To the hospital wing, where else? Doctor Kim will probably know what to do," 

I was being carried away. My legs gave up and slid bahind me, as Jongin and Kibum carried me. Images of my past were still in my mind, but I abandoned fighting them. My head fell down from all the heavines. I was still covered in all the blood. It was cold and it made me even more upset as I looked at it.

"Baekhyun?" I heard Jongin's voice and his hand gently hiting my cheeks to wake me up.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. His hands were now also dirty because of me. More thoughts about the pain came to my mind, but I managed to blocked most of them. 

"Jong-" I tried to speak to him, but my voice cracked as I noticed a sudden change in light.

I weakly looked around and found myself on a white hallway, with white doors on each side. I immediately got a bad image of the palce. My strenght left me again and I got a flashback, not more than a second long, but it felt like years for me.

I was again carried through a white hallways, but that time by my parents. I was fighting, resisting and begging them, to let me go. They didn't listen, but just forced me into one of the rooms on the side. I cried with everything I had, screamed to leave.

In the room I got sorrounded by doctors in white uniforms. They were waiting for me. On my actions, 3 doctors held me still on a metal chair. I screamed and tried to escape. The 4th one injected something into my arm. All of my muscles got numb, my mind was being pushed into darkness and I got completely relaxed. I actually liked it. All I could do was breathe.

When I woke up the doctors were holding me to one of the beds in the room. They were talking and one of them was writing something on a bunch of papers. I could only watch from the bed. Listen to what they were saying about me. They were talking about the things I had done. The things that were making me dangerous, that were making me mad. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks and with my last bit of energy I begged them to stop.

Last thing my parents did was to sign the papers, which doctor handed them and then they left me there. They didn't say goodbye. They didn't even smile, as they looked at me, before leaving their son completely alone, surrounded by unknown people.

I was moved to another room. Small, white room and its walls were covered with cushions, there was a bed without a frame on the floor and doctors held me on it. On the top was a bright white light making me blind as I opened my eyes. I wasn't able to move and could just watch them work on me. 

After that they left and I heard how they locked the door of the room.

I screamed. Screamed for someone to come and get me out of there, to stop the nightmare I never wanted to live. I was screaming, begging and crying for anything, but nothing came. My voice got weaker and I gave up. I was fighting with the thick doors and walls like that was my only enemy, but I couldn't win.

I was fighting and screaming until I collapsed. I let out all of the air in my lungs and later I was in complete darkness once again.

When I woke up, I didn't fight anymore. I was only sitting on the bed and waiting. I didn't know for how long when I had come there and I didn't know what I was waiting for. After what felt like forever, I heard door being unlocked.

"P-Please! Get me out of here!" I spoke with weak voice. Luck wasn't on my side. When the door opened, one of the doctors took my hands, pushed them behind my back and made me lie on my stomach, pressed at the ground.

I tried to get out of the doctors hands. He was too strong. Another pair of hands joined him, working on my long sleeves. I was tied up as they were done. Was I criminal to deserve this? Yes, and I probably really was crazy.

"You will have to calm down," the doctors always told me. 

I couldn't do it, I wanted to, but the hallucinations, the voices and memories were making me mad. The pills I got there, were making me sick. The side effects were making me into seeing more things. Sometimes they made me completly numb or made my body act in its own way. I was shaking all the time. 

I was getting skinier and weaker all the time. Did I deserve this? Yes and no. I definetly didn't deserve that kind of a treatment, but I also wasn't in a good state to leave that place.

I panicked in the moment I realised, that I was being carried on the same kind of hallways. My strenght came back and I leaped of Jongin and Kibum's shoulders. My sudden moves made both of them confused, but in the moment I tried to escape they got me in the hands again. 

I moved away again. 

"NO! Please. Don't-" I begged.

"Baekhyun!" Jongin tried to calm me down, but it was already too late and I couldn't relax now. I pulled my hand away from Kibum and hit Jongin. He shauted and I saw the anger in his look as he looked at me. I felt terrible, but I still fought.

"WHY?!" he shauted.

I didn't answer. He grabbed my hands and pulled me. He was angry, but also confused and worried. 

I was resisting, pulling away, screaming. "Why are you so strong NOW?!" Jongin complained. He used more force on me and now it was too much for me. I saw how Kibum ran a few meters further and opened one of the doors on the hallway.

"Please don't" I said.

"Baekhyun, you have to calm down! You can trust me, remember?" he spoke with a bit calmer voice, but it was still strict.

I fell to the ground. I didn't want to move anymore. 

"Seriously?" Jongin didn't stop with complaining. "Come on Baek! What is happening?!"

I was freaking out. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to feel the pain I had felt long time ago. Someone suddenly came with Kibum and I completely froze for a moment. I got , my hart felt like someone had stabbed me. It was a doctor. He seemed to be about as tall as I was, he looked quite young, had black hair and dark eyes. His white uniform was making me scared. Scared more than almost anything else. He looked just the same, as the ones from my flashbacks. From the days of my life when I suffered the most. 

The doctor hurried to check me.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed and pushed his hand away.

"What happened?" he asked.

"He-" Jongin tried to explain.

"Shut up and get me away from here!" I screamed and saw that the doctor got scared, because of my behaviour. 

"Give me a second," he said and looked at Jongin. "Hold him, we will have to calm him down a bit..."

I looked behind the man in white as he ran back to the room. I looked at Jongin who was holding me tightly on the ground. "You will be okay," he whispered. 

Okay? I wasn't going to be okay! 

The doctor returned and he was holding something in his hand. Something small, but I recognised the injection as soon as I looked at it. I had seen them enough. I didn't want it again. "No-" I said. My voice was weak.

"You have to calm down," Jongin said and grabbed me even stronger as I tried to escape.

"NO!" I cried

"Don't worry," the doctor said. "It won't hurt, you will just fall asleep for some time. It will make you relaxed!"

That was what I didn't want, but I wasn't enough strong for three. Kibum was holding my hand. The doctor pulled my sleaves up to reveal skin. "What happened to your arm, boy? Are those-" he stopped before saying it to the end.

I was keeping my eyes shut. I was screaming and pulling. "Baekhyun, please," Jongin said. "You need help!"

I felt the needle. It didn't hurt, but I soon lost the control over my body. My head got heavy and I out.

I woke up with a strong head ache. I found myself in a room, like mine and Kyungsoo's, but with only one bed, table, wardrobe and a big window in the front. 

I was covered with white blanket and a soft pillow supported my heavy head. I was wearing black casual clothes and there wasn't a bit of blood on them anymore. Someone changed and washed me up.

Next to the table I found a man. He seemed to be familiar, but I couldn't recall everything that had happened. 

The guy noticed that I was awake.

My breathing got faster and the man backed away so his body was fixed on the wall next to the bed.

"W-What-" was the only word I could let out. I didn't know what to ask first and I still didn't have much power in my voice to speak.

"Do you want some water?" he asked and showed me a plastic bottle of water. "You sound a bit off, you really screamed well before..."

I looked at him confused. "Yeah I- I would like to drink something," I spoke.

He came closer to me and helped me to pull myself up. When he gave me the bottle I noticed that it was already opened and I just drank from it. "I'm Kim Jongdae," he said after I stopped drinking. "The doctor here."

"Doctor?" I asked.

"Yeah, I can be a doctor, even if I am not wearing my fancy white uniform," he smiled.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You friends brought you here and you just couldn't calm down. I had to put you to sleep and later decided you can take one of free rooms here.... Please don't worry, I'm here to help you," he said and slowly took a seat on a chair, next to the bed. "I saw you were really stressed out when they brought you, so I made my research..." 

"You did what, doctor?" I asked worried.

"Please, just call me Jongdae," he said. "I guess you have bad experiences with doctors, so we can keep this on more comfortable level, wouldn't that be good?"

It was a bit better, but I still felt uncomfortable next to him. "I guess it would help," I said and did my best to avoid eye contact with him.

"I did research about you, because I don't get a student who is literally going crazy to my office on a daily basis." he sat on the bed next to me and pulled one of my hands closer to himself. He pulled my sleave up. "I saw your hands," he said and pointed to them. "I see why you are afraid of injections," he pointed to the area on my hand where I usually got injected. There were small and almost invisible spots around. "Something like that usually happens to drug additcs. The ones who inject certain substance in their body, but I know you didn't do that on your own..."

My thoughts were empty and I didn't say anything. "I also noticed this," he pointed to the lower part of my hand. Small, long and thin marks were covering my skin. They used to be wounds after I had cut myself. It was almost invisible, but a doctor like Jongdae would notice it in a second. "Self harm? Depression?"

I didn't answer. I didn't want to think or speak about it.

"I found a few files about you," Jongdae continued and covered my hands back again.

"What files?" I got confused.

"It's like a diary about your health. You can see it yourself if you want..." he offered and already took his way back to the table.

"No, I-I don't want to," I interputed him and then looked away to the wall, to avoid more contact.

"As you wish," he said and sat back next to me. "Remember that I want all the best for you, but.... I was wondering how you even got to this university... A lot stuff happened to you..." I could hear the worry in his voice. I trusted him, but still didn't like that he knew that much. I didn't even know how much information he had gotten from that files. Definetly too much for me to handle.

"I wasn't accepted to most of the universities..." I slowly and quietly spoke.

"I don't want to push you or anything..." he said and looked at my eyes. "Would you want to talk about it?" 

"You will expel me, won't you?" 

Jongdae's face stayed serious. "Why would I?" 

"You know what I did..." I said. "You know where I was!" 

"But I don't know what happened. I only know what is written which isn't a lot and for sure not enough,"

"So you will just let me stay?" I asked.

Jongdae smiled. "You don't seem to be dangerous, I think you are just very unlucky. Anyways, I don't have the power to expel you. General Kim Junmyeon is doing that and he wouldn't throw somebody out like that."

"But you will tell him?"

"I have to tell him," he answered. "However, I will make sure you will be able to stay here. Non of this would have happened, if Chanyeol hadn't changed that pool with fake blood. I think he should be the one kicked out!" Jongdae replied.

"Major Park? He did this?" 

"Well.... Yes, but don't worry he will get what he deserves...." he said a bit insecure about it. I didn't say a word more and silence fell again. Major Park had done this on purpose, just to laugh at me and to have fun while training. It wasn't fair. I was angry at him and at myself.

Jongdae cleared his throat and continued. "You can stay here until you get better, if you want I can give you premission to skip your classes and trainings for some time?" 

I thought about if for a moment before I nodded "Yes, please-" I said.

After that Jongdae went to the table and wrote something on one of the papers and then he stopped for a moment. From the table he got a packet of white coloured pills and turned back to me.

"I prepared this and I think this might help-" he started, but then noticed horror in my eyes and changed his mind. "Sorry, I didn't mean to- You actually don't need any of this..." He threw the packed away, so it fell on the floor, behind his back. I still felt frightened of the pills, even thought I knew Jongdae wouldn't force me into eating them. I tensed a bit again and my body trembled on the sight of the pills.

Jongdae was trying his best to keep me calm, but it was obvious that he wasn't sure what to do.

"I will keep my eye on you this week, if you don't mind," he said. "To make sure you are okay,"

"I guess it is okay..." I said.

"Well... I know that I am not psychiatrist here to help you as an professional, but I can help you, because I have some knowledge and experience with that," he explained. "I would like to have time with you every week, as long as you will need me."

"What will we do?" I asked.

"Just talk," he answered. "About how are you feeling, what do you think and how you feel about things you've been through... Maybe we could also get Park Chanyeol to talk with us one day, it would be good to make things clear,"

"No major Park," I said.

"Okay..." Jongdae raised his hands. "I don't want to force you into anything. So are we deal?"

I slowly nodded. Jongdae moved back to the table and checked some papers before facing me again. "Is it okay if we take time at fridays after the lunch?"

"I have trainings at that time...." 

"I know that's why you got a note from me," Jongdae smiled and gave me a piece of paper on which Jongdae was writing not long ago. "You don't need to go to trainings this week and when you will be able to skip trainings and classes if you will be with me."

"T-Thank you," Baekhyun said weakly and Jongdae gave me an even bigger smile. 

"You are always welcome Baekhyun! You see not all doctors are bad!"

I laughed a little. "I know that..."

"Then don't hit people around you when you see one or when you are being taken to one, okay?" 

"I don't hit..."

"Oh, you do," he interrupted me. "That Kim Jongin... You hit him pretty well... The boy has pretty face, but you really messed it up for him. And I know it is not first time you hit someone that hard."

I looked away, because I knew he was talking about major Park.

"I should apologise to Jongin," I said and looked to the wall.

"It would be nice from you," he smiled. "However, I should get going. You can stay here, or maybe you should go eat something. It will be dinner time soon and probably your friends are worried about you. It depends on you," he said before taking his things from the table. He was just about to open the door, when I spoke again.

"Ummmm... Can I just ask you-" I started.

"Yes, ask,"

"Can you not talk about me to others? And whatever you found out in those files? Just keep it a secret," I said and gave Jongdae a pleasing look.

"Don't worry, your private informations are safe with me," he said. After that I gave him a weak smile and Jongdae left the room.