The clock ticks to 10:46 when Sehun wakes up to no Minseok beside him. The other days, he would just cuddle up to Junmyeon asking for his five minutes of extra sleep. But today, neither is he here to spoil him nor wake him up. Sehun's mood turns bitter.

When he goes downstairs, Jongin lookes at him in concern. Sehun promptly ignores and proceeds to get his sandwich from the table. From the corner of his eyes, he searches for that one person but only gets more disturbed when he can't find him.

"Junmyeon is in the music studio, if you're looking for him." Minseok whispers, only for him.

"I wasn't looking for him." He lies. But Minseok knows him more than Sehun knows his bubble tea.

Minseok smiles and ruffles his hair. "He asked you to come."

"I ain't going."

Minseok says nothing. If there's something that Sehun would always do no matter sick or tired it's run his way to Junmyeon. Mad or sad, Sehun never denies him and both of them reveled in that almost unnoticed truth. Sehun shurgs. He puts on his overcoat and mask, and goes out. Minseok just smiles. Of course.

Sehun reaches before time and there he is, the man of his worries, Kim Junmyeon. He is singing a few notes carelessly, but they still sound beautiful coming from him. Sehun watches in awe and unadulterated love towards the other person singing without a care in the world. He wonders how the fans could direct their hate on him. Junmyeon has nothing that could be hated. Starting from his eyes, his nose, his plump cheeks, his lips, his smile which lights up his whole world, his almost perfect psyche, from the tip of his fingertips to the palm of his toes, Sehun is so in love with all of him.

If only they could see what he sees. But then again, Sehun hopes they never do, because the Kim Junmyeon he knows is only true to him. Sehun never wants them to see this version of his hyung who is only and only exclusively reserved for him and he won't have it any other way.

Sehun's footsteps make the older turn towards him and smile awkwardly. Well, awkward it is, obviously. God knows why Junmyeon even bothers to teach him when just last night they talked about switching rooms. Sehun never understands him which only adds more to his frustration.

"Did you sleep well?" Junmyeon's voice is hoarse, but Sehun can't say that his won't be the same. But to think that Junmyeon asked about how he slept after what happened last night, is he that cruel? Sehun bites his lips. He can't cry again, not like this. Not in front of him anymore.

Junmyeon is struggling himself to get the words out. "Hope you were good to Minseok. Don't cause him any trouble, okay?" He smiles but Sehun knows better than his half-hearted smiles hiding his deepest sorrows. Sehun knows his eyes. Because Junmyeon's heart is a coward, and so is his brain. But his eyes? They never lie.

"Yeah." Sehun doesn't know which one he's referring to actually—he slept well or he didn't cause any trouble. Trouble, huh? So that's what Junmyeon thought his countless demands to be, just troubles. Troubles that he doesn't need in his busy schedule anymore.

"I...." Junmyeon starts. "I was thinking of fixing your pronunciation of hangeul."

"Okay." Sehun doesn't trust him enough to get out whole sentences. Who knows, he might just blabber out unnecessary details messing with his head and then it would just be a trouble. Sehun doesn't want to be a trouble anymore.

A few tries of him following the older's lead and he's still hooked up on the fifth word. But Junmyeon is as patient as ever, rectifying each time he falters.

"Read my lips." Junmyeon suggests after a good succession of failed attempts. "Look at how they move and copy. Don't edit or whatever."

Sehun nods. Then he's suggesting his own thoughts. "Am I allowed to touch? I would learn better."

Junmyeon thinks for a second before agreeing with a slight tilt of his head.

They start again. Sehun following him. Junmyeon guiding him. Sehun lifts his palm and traces Junmyeon's lips with the trembling tip of his fingers. Maybe this is a bad idea but since when does Sehun backs off from his ideas just because they're bad? Yeah, never. His fingers moved with the elder's lips, tracing every syllable, drinking in every word thrown at him.

Sehun has always been careless with his thoughts straying at every place at the same time and his actions even more so. Junmyeon is singing, goddamn it and Sehun isn't supposed to lean in because they're practicing on his vocal skills for 's sake. But stopping now, seems far too obscene to be true. He does not.

He is closing in to the shorter figure, and by the time Junmyeon notices, Sehun is not more than a couple millimetres apart. Junmyeon's head blanks and for the first second, he thinks of nothing. Just him and Sehun, in the studio and they could be anyone, do anything. But in the next second, it comes flooding in—their careers, Sehun's career, the other members, the fans, the media. The third second, Sehun is pushed off, tumbling alone on the floor. Junmyeon's breath is now falling in irregular intervals, still processing what happened.

"Cool your head." Junmyeon mutters, voice throaty.

"Stop it." Sehun grits. He's the one struggling and it's him alone. Sehun couldn't help but let the thoughts clatter all over his mind. They are supposed to go through anything, everything together but in the end, it's just him alone. Junmyeon's on the other pole with his struggles.

"I didn't do anything, Sehun." Junmyeon states, trying to clear his voice. "Please stop before it's too late. I don't want you to get hurt."

Sehun laughs. Junmyeon watches in mixed confusion and hurt as Sehun laughs like a fool, eyes closing as an effect. "Hurt? Me? Please, hyung. Do you think I'm capable of such feelings?"

"What're you instigating Sehun? It's not funny if you—"

"It was never funny. Please just ing shut up." Sehun's firm now, his laugh left with no traces and it's terrifying. "How could you even say that you don't want me to get hurt when you've been doing the same for god knows how many days? I was so hurt. It hurt when you wouldn't look at me. It hurt that whatever I felt, you would never acknowlede them. It hurt when you asked me to switch rooms." Sehun cries out, voice breaking. "It hurts to know you're ashamed of me, hyung."

"Hunnie, I—" Junmyeon comes closer.

"I'm hurting hyung. It hurts so much." Sehun looks, down and let his tears fall free, finding their way to the floor.

"Stop this. Don't ask me to be here when all you want is to be away from me." Sehun blinks several times to stop his tears, but only if they listened. Sehun turns away, his way towards the door.

One step away and he's being forcibly pulled back by a pair of arms. Junmyeon pulled the younger closer, chest to back, and his hands enclosing his chest. Sehun says nothing, but he could feel the back of his shirt getting soaked. Junmyeon's silent tears burnt his back. He's hurting. And it maybe all because he lashed at him. Junmyeon's hurting because of him.

"I don't want you to go." Junmyeon breathed. "I wanted you to stay. I wanted you to turn back, just for once and come back to me. I wanted you to be with me, but you'll only get hurt more. I don't want to let yo—"

Junmyeon halts. Sehun is no longer looking away. Sehun is facing him, the salty tears drying on his cheeks, but vision still blurred. Sehun is cupping his cheeks now. Junmyeon is overwhelmed from the emotions—Sehun's touch tells him things he could never say out loud. Junmyeon couldn't stop his tears but then there's Sehun who's kissing them away oh so lovingly and he couldn't resist. Maybe in the process, Sehun kissed away his fears too.

"Then why hyung? Why do you continue to push me away everytime I come close to you?" Sehun kisses the corner of his eyes.

Junmyeon's lips quivers, his hands tugs the fabric of Sehun's shirt puller him closer than before. "I don't want your dreams to be destroyed. And whatever we have,” Junmyeon looks into his eyes, “this will only hurt you."

Sehun smiles. "I don't mind getting hurt.” He says. “If it means I get to love you, let me get hurt. Because my dreams, hyung, they start where you stand."