When school is over and Kyungsoo is at home, fiddling with the note his family left him. The ink is dried and greyish, not the fresh black, it was mostly written by his father, with his mom adding reminders somewhere along on the edges.

‘To Soo,

Today will be the first time visiting the therapist, so be a respectful boy you have always been. There might be quite a lot of madman loitering around, so be careful, do not have unnecessary eye contacts with strangers. Come back home right after the visit, do not stay. Remember to wear a hat, we do not want anyone label you as a ‘psycho’, mom is certain that the treatment will be over pretty soon. [I really do, my baby boy. It will be okay. We are with you]. Whatever the diagnosis is, the doctors [it is psychiatrist] will do their best to cure you, I believe there is a cure, yours is mild. [I have seen worse, thank heaven. They are help you and us.] Do not hide any informations from the psychiatrist, tell her what she wants to know. [We know you are a shy boy, especially in front of a female, but don’t be. She is a loving women, just like me.] Write us back a report  letter about what happened. Do not worry about follow-ups, she will inform us. Do not worry about the cost, it is affordable, all we want is you to get better.

     9/1974’

The confusion clouds Kyungsoo’s mind. Questions of why and when did he look psychotic never leaves his mind. He is just an ordinary boy, who has no intention of harming others, let along be in a wrong state of mind. Kyungsoo definitely sees no resemblance between him and the delirious madman who chases down innocent people with crimson dripping off his hand and black lingering in his mind. Kyungsoo changed into his casual clothing and walked towards the clinic. The black clouds Kyungsoo saw earlier on the day has broken up and drifted away, the sun is blinding and feathers of blue are right under the sun, sailing. Kyungsoo skips down the street. He is trying to cheer himself up by acting like a kid. It’s okay, he chants. He focuses on the shop, the displays, the designs, letting colours occupy his mind. Waiting for the motor cars to pass, he recognises the street but not the white building at the end of it. It still does not make sense. Somehow, the receptionist is yawning and mistaken him for visitor, when Kyungsoo asks for her name to properly address her, the receptionist gives him a dirty look and scolds him for keeping others waiting. All the staff are flocking up and down, one moment they are sweeping the floor and was called to get some syringes. Their cloths hang loosely, their eyeballs sunk into the sockets, heated arguments with patient flashes like sparks when metals grind against each other, but soon shushed away for triggering another episode. They are clutching on straws to make a living. When his name is called and he is moving down the corridor, he saw a blur of grey sweater, grey wheelchair and grey hair, half shielded by the door. When he turns back to look at the room, a staff was leaving and shutting the room. 

‘Hi, Kyungsoo!’ A women smiled warmingly. ‘Call me Ms Kim. Have a seat.’

‘Hi Ms Kim.’

‘So, your parents are curious about your condition. I have read the materials they sent me. And yes, there are mentions of hallucination, but no signs of drug abuse.’

‘Then, can I go?’

‘No, no. We are afraid that you may have schizophrenia.’

‘What is that?’

‘We will explain it to your family, now relax, don’t worry.’

‘I am very relaxed and I demand for an explanation.’

‘I am sorry, but we are afraid it may trigger another episode.’

‘You have to explain! You can’t just throw it into my face and expect me to accept that. You are accusing me of being mentally unstable. A madman’

‘Calm down. If you want an explanation, we will certainly give you. Schizophrenia is when people have false belief, hallucinations. In general, not being able to understand what’s real or what’s not.’

‘And?’

‘You mentioned in your diary about a man, no, I mean creature named Jongdae? Am I right?’

‘He is a product of my imaginations.’

‘And he is like a mermaid or some sort?’

In all honesty, Kyungsoo is not sure. He only know that Jongdae has scales when swimming in the ocean. But Kyungsoo wants to get out as soon as possible so he might just roll with it. 

‘Yes.’

‘Is he a lovely friend?’

‘I am not sure.’

‘From your description, he seems like a person everybody wants to befriend!’

‘As you say.’

‘Don’t be so discouraged. A lot of our patients send flower