12th Sep, 1974

Kyungsoo’s parents brought a coloured television, to replace the black and white ones. They watched 60 minutes. They did interviews on the progress and breakthroughs on medications and treatments for different types of mental illness, ie, anxiety, depression, etc. It was a quiet dinner, as if all the amusements they found at work has evaporated and condensed on the screen. Kyungsoo is fascinated by the colours, soft and warm, which reminds him of the cozy fireplace at winter. It mentions the debate in the society, whether the government should fund mental institutions. To Kyungsoo, in plain words, translate to, madman, who can do no good in the society, is not worthy of hard money earned by tax-payers. Some argued the funding would be crucial for health care, education, even cemetery renovation. During the advertisement section, there is a new drama coming up. About a schizophrenic patient escaping the hospital and goes on slaughtering people. His eyes wide with insanity and a tilted smirk, blood scattered on his clothes but his skin is unsoiled, a scream that rang in the air after they promoted baby’s napkins. They just kept eating, careful not to drop their forks. Kyungsoo has no idea what the evil therapist instructed them to react, so he chews on vegetables, holds his cup without shaking and drinks from it, keeping his manner tidy and clean. The next interview is about the scandal in hospitals, discriminations against poor people, talked to the head manager and visited the patients. 

‘So, have you refused emergency patients because they could not pay their bills,’

‘No, it is not true.’

‘But your nurses tell me the doctors have openly refused further treatments because the procedures are too expensive, and they could not pay it.’

‘I respect and believe in the professional decisions made by the doctors.’

‘In the last two months, your hospital has sent 10 chronically ill patients back home or transfer to other hospitals.’

‘Doctors will transfer patients to abler hospitals, if the patients’ situations are beyond doctor’s ability.’

‘However, if your doctors have followed the case for a long time, why would you send them away even when they are stable?’

‘I do not participate in decision-making, so I have no ways to,’

‘But do you agree with these actions?’

‘I respect decisions made by professionals.’

‘So you think they are right.’

‘Absolutely.’

On the table, dad snickers, ‘Absolutely bastard.’

Mom has her eyes on dad and Kyungsoo has his eyes on mom. No one is speaking, and the staring toned down to occasional sidelong glances. 

‘This is the policy, what can you do?’

‘This is the policy, that is the law, we can do nothing about it, blah, blah, blah, heard it for all my life.’

‘So what your genius mind suggest? Huh? Change the system?’

‘No one asked you to change it! You are always swinging to the extreme of things!’

‘Then, what should i do?’

‘Do a damn thing! Suggest your doctors to cure them quicker, or get them a job as soon as they can take care of themselves. You are always slowing things down so you can make more money!’

‘Oh la la. The blame is on me!’

‘Of course it is on you. You who breed a freak!’ 

‘Calm down, stop, calm down.’

‘Don’t you tell me what to do.’

‘I said calm down, just don’t fight,’ Kyungsoo whispered in defeat as his voice drowned out by screeches, ‘Don’t break the plate!’ 

‘Then what have you done? Stuck your in the laboratory, asking me for money, and eats all my salary. Hell, you did not even wash the dishes, let along the daily chores. And now, you are one buck away from fired! You are the true retard of this house!’

‘I am working on miracles, long-dista