I can’t believe I call these people my friend! Here I am, standing in front of Coffee Prince Café in my everyday clothing, a cap, sunglasses, and a surgical mask. That’s the best outfit you can wear to meet up with a girl. Right?

I walked into an empty café. EMPTY. Do you know how famous this café is!? It’s EMPTY! Alexander hyung has something to do with this! I know it.

“Hello, please come this way.” A waiter led the way to the back of the café.

I saw Eden there, dressed in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a plain black v-neck, and those same black converses she wore the other day. Yeah, I actually observe people.

“H-hi.” I stuttered. Oh my Buddha. I need to stop ruining my charismatic image.

“Hi!” She grinned at me. She isn’t shocked to see only me. I wonder what Alexander hyung did now.

I took my seat in front of her. She already ordered. I passed; I need to stop with the caffeine.

Awkward… REAL awkward. “So, how are you?” She asked me.

“I’m doing fine, how about you?” I replied to her in English. And that’s how our conversation started.

We talked about things like music, dance, clothing… we even talked about love. This is how our conversation ended:

“I’ll see tomorrow, Eli oppa.”

-

In a mere 2 hours we’ve gotten closer than ever. That was how our relationship started.

We would meet up whenever I had time. We would talk about the most random things. I would stutter and she would laugh at me. I’d go home wondering why I would make a fool out of myself. It went on like that for weeks.

But then one day, something life changing happened. She smiled at me, and I felt my cheeks burning. My heartbeat was quick and it was loud and clear in my ears. I went home asking Dong Ho what that meant. I know what you’re thinking: Why is he going to ask Dong Ho? Well I don’t know! Dong Ho just ignored me and focused on his evil little dog. So I went and asked Alexander hyung. He did his little hand waving thing again. He said I like her. As in I like her not as a friend, but something more.

He suggested that I ask her to be my girlfriend. I did. She grinned at me and said yes. Then she hugged me.

From that day on, March 10, 2009, we started dating. And from that day, Eden and I faced many obstacles. She was constantly bashed by netizens. Fans stalked her. I felt hopeless because I couldn’t do anything about it.  It was so bad that my CEO forbade me from seeing her. My heart was torn into pieces. I couldn’t stand a day without seeing her. I was helpless.

The members did all they could to cheer me up, but that was impossible. I refused to get up in the morning to continue my schedule. I refused to do anything. My CEO threatened to drop me from U-kiss and from the company. I agreed with him. I thought that if I was no longer a celebrity I could see Eden again, with no worries. My CEO did something unexpected. He didn’t drop me.

But he released many things to the press: he told them that because of fans and netizens bashing Eden that I refuse to do anything – eat, sleep, drink, or continue with my activities. He told them that he wished everyone would leave us alone, let us be.

My CEO let me see Eden again. She seemed so different when I saw her again. When was the last time I saw her? It had been months. I was so happy to see her again. She smiled like she did before. I was finally aloud to see the one. I didn’t say anything but I kissed her.

Eventually, netizens stopped bashing, fans stopped stalking her. Some fans actually posted on my blog that they were happy to see us together.

I was the happiness man ever alive. I thought that we were inseparable – nothing could tear us apart.

“Babe, I love you.” I was lost in her warm brown orbs. A smile always formed on my face whenever I was with her.

“I love you too, oppa.” She leaned in a kissed me gently. That is a memory I can never forget.

To this day, I don’t why I let her go. To this day, I regret what I did to her. To this day, I still love her.

Eden Pham, you’re still in my heart.

Without you, I really miss you. Without you, please forgive me. Without you, you’re the only one I love. Can’t live without you.