It was the month of October when a small, white, neatly-sealed envelope found its way on Baekhyun’s doorstep. It was an invitation from a friend throwing a welcome party for himself. One of his friends since college days, Kim Junmyeon, had just got back from the states and ever since he kept on bugging all of them to meet up, claiming he had missed his babies, that it has been ages since they all met up together, how he didn’t wanted their friendships to be over just like that, amongst other varied excuses.

 

Junmyeon might have been overreacting and exaggerating things, but it was true that it had been years since they all got together and Baekhyun would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss bonding with his old gang. After graduating from university, they all went separate ways to chase their own dreams and as much as they try to catch up with each other from time to time, they have their own lives now and they knew that. Baekhyun knew that.

 

It’s been two years since he started living in his own condo half an hour away from their family’s hospital where he works as head doctor of his department. It’s been almost three years since he saw him. Baekhyun subconsciously tilted his head to the side as he stared at the night sky, mind pulling him back in the past again. Would have things been different if he had just tried more? If he would have―

 

“Baekhyun!”

 

Said man was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his name being called. He turned around to see a man enthusiastically waving at him, lips curled into that very familiar, cat-like smile he always saw back when they were struggling college students.

 

“Jongdae, is that you―oof!” Baekhyun was suddenly engulfed in a bear hug. He let out a soft chuckle as he tried to hug his friend with one arm and balance his glass of red wine with the other. "It is you," Baekhyun said when they pulled away, a smile gracing his lips as a somewhat foreign but familiar feeling starts to settle in his chest.

 

“Why are you hiding in this corner, huh? When did you arrive? You should’ve greeted us first!” Jongdae rambled in just one breath. Yeah. This was definitely the Jongdae he remembered.

 

All Baekhyun could do was to let out a chuckle as he let his friend finish talking, but before he could open his mouth to answer even one of Jongdae’s questions and complaints, he found himself in a headlock. The person assaulting him also had the audacity to rub the top of his head mockingly, effectively ruining his perfectly styled hair.

 

“Byun Baek! I missed you, kid!” His assailant exclaimed, still not letting him go.

 

“What―Who―Yah! Le’ me go―ugh!” Baekhyun huffed, struggling to get away without spilling his drink on himself but it proved to be a difficult task, especially when he had been forced to double over under the other’s weight.

 

His attacker, who turned out to be Luhan, finally loosened his hold around Baekhyun’s neck and adjusted so that his hand hung loosely around his shoulder so that the smaller could stand up straight again. “Hey, kiddo~” Luhan greeted properly now―well, in his textbook it was proper already―before grabbing the glass in Baekhyun’s hand, gulping down the remaining contents in one go before placing it down on a nearby table.

 

“Hyung what―ugh. Still such a kid!” Baekhyun huffed while trying to smooth his ruffled hair back into place, only to give up after a few moments to tackle his older friend in a bear hug. “But I missed you so much, Lu-ge!” He faked sobbed as he tightened his hug around him.

 

Luhan let out a soft chuckle as he hugged back his dongsaeng gently, “How have you been, Baek? God! It’s been so long you little rascal!”

 

“Yah! What about me, huh?” Jongdae intervening between the two. “You never replied to any of my e-mails and messages! What kind of friend are you?”

 

Baekhyun turned to the whining man, smiling at him apologetically while giving him the innocent puppy eyes. “Dae~” He whined, pouting cutely.

 

“No, Byun Baekhyun. That ain’t working on me anymore― ugh,” Jongdae’s eyes twitched involuntarily which was a clear sign to anyone who knew him that he was about to give in to Baekhyun’s infamous, puppy eyes. “Urgh fine―! , you’re forgiven. I hate you.” His shoulders slumped as he rubbed a hand down his face in both frustration and affection towards his friend.

 

Baekhyun and the others let out hearty laughters at Jongdae’s misery that had been going on since Byun Baekhyun happened in his life.

 

“I’ll make it up to you, Dae. I promise.” Baekhyun managed to say after his giggling fit. Oh, how much he missed this―the lightness and happiness only his friends could bring him.

 

“Are you guys poking fun of Jongdae again?”

 

The brunet let out a small gasped before making a soft squeak of happiness seeing the oldest member in their circle of friends. “Hyung! Looking good as ever~” he teased, wiggling his brows towards the older only to be engulfed with a tight hug. For a moment there, he wondered why everyone was suddenly being mushy towards him―not like he doesn’t like it because he does but it was just uncommon. But perhaps, the time they spent away from each other was the reason. Nevertheless, he wholeheartedly welcomed it, besides it had been a while since he felt like he truly belonged.

 

After a few moments of bickering, the host of the party had finally approached them. “Having fun, guys?”

 

Series of nods and ‘welcome back’s erupted from the group. Jongdae whining while Luhan started his teasings towards Junmyeon.

 

“I know you guys missed me―”

 

“We missed your black credit card, not you!”

 

“Shut up, Jongdae,” Joonmyeon quickly dismissed the man before smiling wistfully towards the doctor of the group. “But I’m not the only who’s back.”

 

Before anyone could question him further, he stepped back and let someone else step in.

 

 

 

“Hey.”

 

Baekhyun’s breath hitches the moment he heard those deep voice and suddenly, everything around him seem to blur and slow down. All of a sudden he couldn’t take off his sight on the man he never thought he could see again.

 

Chanyeol looked so different from the last time he saw him. He had ditched the long blond hairstyle as he was now sporting a black short one with a few curls here and there that made him look mature but still baby-faced at the same time. His lanky, thin body had grown a lot. It was obvious the man had been spending time in the gym for him to buff up like that. Then his voice.. was it even possible for it to get deeper than he last remembered?

 

Then he smiled. Chanyeol smiled the kind that makes the blond doctor weak on his knees.

 

Why..

 

Why does he still make him feel certain ways he thought he had already buried deep.. With just his mere voice, everything Baekhyun had worked so hard to forget and set aside were suddenly resurfacing. It's too much. Too overwhelming. He needs to breath. Breath..

 

"Baek?"

 

Baekhyun was abruptly pulled out of his own reveree when his name was called, only managing a soft and breathy "Yes?" as an immediate answer back.

 

"Are you okay?" Luhan asked, who was the one beside and closest to him.

 

He didn't wanted to look but as if his body has its own mind, he glanced back towards him as he felt his eyes watering but before anyone could say or do anything, he immediately looked away and excused himself. "Uhm. Yeah," he gave Luhan a small reassuring smile–hopefully, it was before continuing. "Just– excuse me for a sec. I need to go to the restroom."

 

Without waiting for anyone to answer, he immediately his heels and walked away from the group, missing a pair of brown eyes looking at his form walking away while the others stood there, confused at what just happened.

 

Smiling in a comforting and understanding way, Junmyeon put a hand on Chanyeol's shoulder, squeezing it in a reassuring way. No words were needed to say as the latter returned the smile albeit forced and seemed a little sad.

 

 

 

Not wanting to spoil the party and dampen the atmosphere more, Junmyeon proceeded to start his questioning with each one of them like the mother-figure he had always been to them. The interaction between the two temporarily forgotten as they try to catch up with each other.

 

 

 

 

 

◆◇◆◇

 

 

 

 

 

The scenery outside were starting to change as a new season comes and go. The leaves of the trees were starting to turn in a mixed color of brown and orange as they slowly fall to the ground with a gentle grace by the cold breeze. Baekhyun smiled as he absently watched the seemingly peaceful scene outside as he waited for the class to start.

 

Despite the weather turning to cold from warm, the smaller did not mind it at all. Besides, he had always preferred the cold over the warm weather of the summer season. Autumn means he could wear his favorite hoodies and sweaters without feeling like he'll suffocate from the heat.

 

Too preoccupied with his thoughts and from gazing out the open window, Baekhyun did not notice the creaking of a chair being pulled back and someone sitting beside him.

 

After a few moments, he felt something on his hair. Blinking, he instinctively tried to feel what it was and to his suprise it was a hand. A warm one.

 

"What the–" he turned around, his round eyes met an equally surprised and more rounded eyes.

 

"A-Ah," his seatmate coughed after stuttering. "Uhm, sorry. I just wanted to take the leaf that got stuck on your hair," he mumbled in a sheepish way, pointing at his hand still in mid-air and being held by Baekhyun's hand.

 

Baekhyun's eyes fell on their hands and there, he saw a small orange-ish leaf between those apparently bigger fingers than his.

 

"Oh." Was the only thing he could utter before letting go of the other's hand.

 

"Sorry about that. I didn't mean to scare you or anything like that." He heard him say as he side eyed him, half-heartedly watching the guy now fiddle with the withered leaf. He oddly finds it cute.

 

"It's alright. I was spacing out anyway," he gave him a reassuring smile but found himself suddenly smiling wide seeing the other's face light up at that.

 

"I also hope you don't mind me sitting beside you," his voice were light but hopeful.

 

Baekhyun observed him for a few seconds before making a show of hesitating as he looked around the room. There were still other vacant seats and he briefly wondered why this guy would suddenly want to sit with him.

 

When he reverted his gaze back towards him, he didn't expected to see a look of a kicked puppy.

 

"I can change seats if you don't want..." he trailed off, sounding so disappointed.

 

It was odd and peculiar when all of a sudden he decided that he didn't wanted that look on him out of the blue seatmate. "No, it's alright. It's okay."

 

"Really?" He perked up and Baekhyun thought that he could see his imaginary puppy ears perking upwards also.

 

He let out a small chuckle as he nodded, "Yes, it's alright. You can seat anywhere you want."

 

Seatmate guy smiled so wide that he could see all of his white teeth. He suddenly held out a hand. "I'm Park Chanyeol, by the way. Your new seatmate."

 

"Byun Baekhyun," he took his hand and they made a small shake, inwardly laughing at how formal their introduction was. "Nice to meet you, my new seatmate."

 

 

 

 

 

"That was the lamest move I've ever seen."

 

"Give the kid a break. At least he tried. Pfft–"

 

"It was so awkward to watch though."

 

"Pfffft– Oh my–"

 

Chanyeol really tried to ignore the snickering and snorts of his friends but it proved to be a hard challenge. Once the smaller male turned to the front of the classroom–because class was starting already, Chanyeol snapped his head towards the group of taunting males before mouthing the words 'shut the up.'

 

And that does it for Jongin and Sehun to burst out laughing. The tan male was even smacking his palm down on the table resulting for their professor to call them out.

 

But that didn't seem to faze the two as they only apologized half-heartedly before stiffling their laughters as they watch their tall friend's ears turn bright red from embarrassment.

 

From secondhand embarrassment or not, they didn't care at the moment as they try to continue teasing the giant while the smaller male beside him looks back and forth from them in obvious confusion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The second time they met and had another conversation was when Chanyeol tried to secretly take a picture of Baekhyun's side profile when he coincidentally saw him at the park sitting on a bench under the largest tree with a book on his lap. But to his stupidity, he forgot that he had his flash on, resulting for the smaller to look up at the direction of the light.

 

Chanyeol laughed awkwardly while scratching his head, "Uhm, oops?" He internally groan as he starts to panic.  he'll never talk to me again he'll think I'm a creep who stalks him around but I swear it was just–

 

His rambling to himself got cut off when Baekhyun softly asked, "Chanyeol? You're Park Chanyeol, right? The new seatmate?"

 

Oh . Say my name again please oh oh I'm gonna have a heart attack oh man– "Yeah," he coughed a little when that came out croaky. Baekhyun shouldn't know he was already panicking inside. Is his face showing it?  Oh god, my ears must be so red right now it’s so embarrassi–

 

But Baekhyun only smiled up at him sweetly before gesturing for the taller to sit beside him.

 

"Is it okay?" Chanyeol was hesitant, as he always seem to be around the smaller.

 

"Of course." Baekhyun only assured him, smiling in an amused way. When the taller had finally took his offer to sit beside him, though there was still some distance, Baekhyun tried to lighten the mood. "Were you taking a picture of the view?"

 

"Huh?"

 

Baekhyun nodded towards the smart phone he was still holding.

 

"Oh. Ah, yes," he smiled a little too bright hoping it was convincing enough for the smaller. "I just wanted to capture the scenery, you know, ehe."

 

Thankfully, it seemed that Baekhyun did not notice or maybe he decided not to say anything about it but he was internally thankful for that. Baekhyun only smiled brighter, "It's pretty, right?" He glanced back at the front to watch the view and from there they could perfect see the sun setting through the horizon.

 

"Yeah, it's beautiful," Chanyeol whispered as he silently and discreetly watched Baekhyun.

 

 

 

 

 

Ever since that day, they kept seeing each other there. Same place, same time. Their conversations slowly growing as they found out they have a lot of similarities in humor and other aspects in life. Their meet ups weren't planned but they both just see to it that they'll  at least see each other even for a little while.

 

In biology class — the only class they have together, they could already joke around each other comfortably as if they knew each other for a long time already.  There are times that they'll get scolded because of how talkative they became in class.

 

Sometimes, Baekhyun would help Chanyeol with their homeworks because it turned out that the taller was not good with anything science related.

 

And just like that, friendship bloomed between them.

 

 

 

 

And it was only the start of their relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

◆◇◆◇

 

 

 

 

 

Mad? Excited? Surprised? Enraged? Relieved? He doesn't know. All Baekhyun knows at the moment was that his heart had been thumping so loud since he hid himself inside the rest room and spent almost half an hour inside trying to calm it. He feels like he's gonna go crazy at how confused he's feeling right now.

 

He puffed out a huge breath before splashing his face some cold water from the faucet, still trying to cool himself down. The moment he lifted his eyes to gaze at his reflection on the mirror, all he saw were slightly red eyes b with tears and he looked pathetic. He feltpathetic.

 

Why was he back? After all those years of broken promises and of nothing, Chanyeol suddenly decided it was okay to come barging back in like that? Like nothing happened? Like he didn't left him hanging in the air as he slowly fall apart on his own?

 

He was done waiting. Baekhyun had moved on and left everything behind years ago. His feelings, the memories and hope..

 

Or so he thought.

 

 

 

 

"Ah, this," he grumbled under his breath before closing his eyes and taking in a huge slow breath then breathing it out slowly to try to calm himself for a last attempt.

 

Gathering himself up and making sure he doesn't look like , he left the rest room and made a beeline towards the mini bar at the far left of the venue. He ordered a glass of smirnoff strawberry vodka and quietly sat on a stool, trying his very best to blend in the crowd and not wanting to draw any attention to himself. But really, he was just trying his best to stay at least a little bit more at the party and at the same time trying to avoid any of his friends, most specially him.

 

Don't get him wrong, he really intend on enjoying himself as he greatly missed his friends but he knew there had been a possibility of this to happen, though he thought was very low.

 

He had downed half of his drink already when he spotted Jongdae and Minseok interacting lively to a group of men and women that he didn't knew. Ever since then everyone knew how friendly and approachable Jongdae was and still is, thus he really suited his choice of career to be a businessman. Meanwhile, his now husband and lover since college and possibly high school sweetheart, Minseok, was almost the opposite of the mischievous man but they clearly compliment each other. Minseok was a quiet guy and always level headed. He had always been the one to remind Jongdae his limitations and the lines he shouldn't step on.

 

Those two were Baekhyun's childhood friends, best friends and the brothers he had always needed but as much as he hates changes, he was the one who shut himself off from everyone else when he was going through the darkest of times in his life. When he disappeared.

 

He heaved out a small sigh, diverting his gaze somewhere else but somehow he only sees his other friends and the guilt of purposely pushing them away starts to crawl up.

 

And this reminded him of why he had been so hesitant in the first place to come to this party.

 

Baekhyun internally groaned as he downed another drink. One glass became two and then three until he couldn't keep count anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

◆◇◆◇

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun dislikes a lot of things in his life and waking up with a massive hang over with his head feeling like it could break in two was definitely one of them.

 

After five minutes of being awake but still lying on his bed, he opened his eyes slowly as he squinted through the bright light coming from the window he probably forgot to close in his drunken state last night. After adjusting his sight from the light, he lazily grabbed his phone on the night stand to check the time and if he had any notifications.

 

10:53 AM. Great. He was already late for work so might as well just call in sick for the day. He wouldn't be able to work for the rest of the day anyway because of his hungover.

 

He rolled over, back on the mattress as he faced the ceiling. He stayed like that for a while, letting his mind relax but the ache was too much so he decided to get out of bed already and grab some pills to help.

 

He took a little while before finding where he stocked his medicines but once he did he quickly grabbed a glass of water after taking the medicine before his mind reeled back to what happened last night.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey, don't you think that's enough?"

 

Baekhyun, already drunk in his wits but it's not like he'll admit it, glared up at the person preventing him from drinking another glass of alcohol. "Let go," he hissed, trying to pull his hand away but the grip around his wrist only tighten, the touch seemingly burning for him and he doesn't like it.

 

"Baekhyun, please. You already had enough–"

 

"I said let go! What right do you have to touch me?" Baekhyun burst out, forcefully pulling his hand away this time from Chanyeol's grip. Gritting his teeth, Baekhyun hissed out a curse as a sudden rage and courage from the alcohol intake was surging through his nerves. All his pent up emotions pouring out without his control over himself. "What right do you have to come back in my life just like that?" His voice was rising as he jabbed a finger on Chanyeol's chest. "After disappearing on me without a word, you'll just come strutting in like 'Hey! Surprise surprise! I'm back!' and then what? You'll just pretend like–"

 

"Baekhyun, no, that's not–" Chanyeol tried to say but Baekhyun was having none of it as he shouted, "Shut up I'm not done talking!"

 

"Baekhyun, please, calm down. People are already watching," Minseok butted in already, gently but firmly holding the doctor by his shoulders.

 

Baekhyun glanced around and true enough, other guests were already forming a circle around them, watching, judging, and whispering amongst themselves. Frustrated and not wanting to be the center of attention any further, he shrugged off Minseok a bit harshly before storming away from there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shaking the memory away, Baekhyun grumpily gulped down the water before rummaging through his fridge. Once he found his sweet treaty delight called cookies and cream ice cream, he trudged to his living room and plopped himself on the sofa before turning on his television to watch some random shows.

 

His mind was elsewhere as he blankly stares on the screen, hands gripping the spoon tightly as he repeatedly dug it in the sweet treat. He kept on indulging himself with comfort food as his mind dangerously trudges on a path he initially wanted not to take.

 

Of all the things Baekhyun expected to feel once he saw Chanyeol again after all those years were not the ones that washes over him last night.

 

Baekhyun expected himself to be calm– no, he told himself, tried to convince himself even, that he won't feel hurt anymore because he thought he had already moved on. But it was like a slap on the face when emotions he tried to burry suddenly resurfaces again without his permission.

 

Baekhyun always felt like that with him. He always felt helpless.. Helplessly in love. And he hated that the most about himself because he never gets the chance to choose where and when his heart would fall. And it seemed that it will always fall for that stupid giant.

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun was cooped up in his own thoughts that he didn't even noticed someone had welcomed themselves inside his condo when he failed to answer.

 

"God, I knew you'd be miserable but I at least thought you'd be past the phase of binge eating sweets," Sehun complained once he entered the living room where the small doctor was, huddled on the couch with his comfort food on his lap and television obviously long forgotten. He grimaces at the sight that greeted him once he sat on the sofa for one person adjacent to the one Baekhyun was sitting on.

 

"What are you even doing here?" Baekhyun glared towards the younger, also his co-worker and doctor. "I called in sick for a reason, you know." He knows why Sehun was there uninvited but he wanted to be alone and the company wasn't really needed at the moment. He knew he was being an to someone who was only worrying for him right now but he just really wanted to be alone in the mean time and him lashing out to anyone near him was to be expected. It's the reason why he chooses to be alone.

 

Sehun, used to the smaller's attitude, wasn't even bothered the slightest. "Look, I know what happened last ni–"

 

"How would you know, you weren't even there last night."

 

Sehun took in a deep breath before hissing a reply, "I'm on time enough to witness the scene you made."

 

"I did not do such a thing," he blantantly lied as he digged in to his ice cream with a stubborn pout.

 

Sehun could only let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, hyung. I know what Chanyeol hyung did but if you really wanted to move on, don't you think the closure you've always wanted is here now?"

 

Baekhyun's movements were slowing down but he kept his eyes downwards, staring and almost glaring down on the tub of melting ice cream on his lap.

 

"I mean, isn't that the only thing you've been looking for? To know his reasons why?"

 

He tried to act nonchalant but he was listening and Sehun had a point. But really.. What's the use?

 

"He got tired of me. Of us. That's the only reason why he would just drop me like that," he croaked out, stuffing his mouth but it only made his breathing more hard as he sobbed while trying to swallow.

 

"Baekhyun hyung..."

 

Baekhyun's lips tremble but he only continues to mindlessly ramble on. Sehun hated seeing him like that so he stood up and sat beside him instead, gently prying away the food before pulling his hyung in a comforting hug, patiently waiting for his cries to die down.

 

"How are you feeling?" He asked once Baekhyun had calmed down.

 

"Like ," the smaller grumbled, still softly sniffling but at least the tears had stopped now. He heard the younger letting out a small laugh and this only made Baekhyun cling onto him more.

 

"But hyung, I'm serious. At least think about it," he softly said as if hesitant at first but the seriousness in his voice was evident. "Maybe this talk with him will finally give you a piece of mind."

 

After a few moments between them, all Baekhyun could manage was a small nod.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One week passes and the talk never happened.

 

Baekhyun came back to work the next day after his breakdown. He went back to work like nothing happened and it greatly pissed Sehun off the way he was acting.

 

The worst thing for him was he thought that after the incident at the party, he would never see Chanyeol again if he just locked himself up in the hospital and his condo but the taller was suddenly everywhere.

 

Chanyeol would dropped by to the hospital he works at and would wait till late at night for Baekhyun's shift to end but he made sure that every time he leaves to go home, the taller would have retired for the day already. That's when he would immediately go home to avoid bumping into him if ever Chanyeol decided to still linger around.

 

It had been obvious that Baekhyun was avoiding him at all cost but Chanyeol was persistent. He had always been ever since and that made Baekhyun smile in a bittersweet way.

 

Chanyeol's attempts were not truely fruitless because when Baekhyun still didn't showed up, Sehun somehow took pity on him after a few days of waiting at the lobby like a lost and kicked puppy.

 

At first, the young doctor seemed to be unwelcoming of his presence and he understood why. He didn't blamed it on him because it wasn't only Baekhyun who lost him but his friends also. And he all owe them an explanation.

 

Eventually though, Sehun warmed up to him again and gave him another chance. Chanyeol felt light that at least one of them gave him another chance to redeem himself but to the person he truely wanted back seemed to still be far from his reach.

 

 

 

Two weeks and Baekhyun still continues this hide and seek game. Chanyeol slowly feels his time is running out.

 

But at some point, Baekhyun wavers when he saw Sehun and Chanyeol having what it seem like a nice chat of old friends catching up with each other in the cafeteria on the third floor of the hospital building.

 

They seem... happy and it stirs something in Baekhyun's gut akin to jealousy and envy but he wouldn't admit it as he always chose to look away, convincing himself that it shouldn't be his business.

 

But one day, Sehun decided to barge in uninvited inside his office, suddenly demanding him to just at least spare Chanyeol some of his time but Baekhyun was still having none of it.

 

Sehun let out a frustrated sigh with a shake of his head. "When will you stop being stubborn, hyung?"

 

Baekhyun remained silent as he tried to concentrate on the paper works he needed to finish.

 

"Hyung, please. I really think this is too childish already. The guy is practically always here, waiting for you," the younger tried again.

 

"Yeah. Does he not have anything else to do? Like I don't know. Work, maybe?" Baekhyun sassed but the bitterness in his voice was evident. He doesn't understand why everyone was suddenly adamant on him giving Chanyeol even a little bit of his time now when back then that he was willing to give his all, Chanyeol just seemed to put it aside. Put him aside. Didn't he waited for Chanyeol to come back all those time? He waited and waited but he was bound to get tired.

 

It hadn't been an easy thing to do but one day, he decided to stop. He was done waiting for someone he thought would never come back again. So was it really unfair of him to make Chanyeol feel and go through the things he once did?

 

"Baekhyun hyung, I know you're still hurt–"

 

"I'm not–"

 

"No, I know you still are," Sehun didn't let him continue as he stared down at him, eyes firm but somehow.. understanding. "Don't even lie to me because I saw how you try so hard to hide and avoid everything. Hyung, you cannot hide forever. You cannot just leave things be as it is. Chanyeol is here already, isn't he?"

 

"Sehun, it's not that easy." The smaller gave up on doing his work as he slouched on his table, face hidden behind his palms.

 

"I know," Sehun whispered and he gave him a small smile when his hyung finally looked up at him. "I'm not saying you should forgive him or anything. All I'm saying is you should stop hiding and face him already. It's been years, hyung and it's kinda obvious that he still affects you greatly. So, don't you think that maybe, what you really needed is this? And whatever happens after, at least you'll know his reasons now."

 

Sehun had a point. No matter what, he knew he needed to know what happened and where everything went wrong for them but he's not sure if he should really open old wounds again. "I don't know, Sehun," he whispered as he gazed out the window blankly but his mind was a mess of jumbled, incomprehensible thoughts.

 

There was a moment of silence that passed before Sehun hummed in understanding. He too now was facing by the window. Both of them preoccupied with their own thoughts before the younger doctor decided to break the silence with a soft, "You know it's been nice and really pleasant to talk to Chanyeol hyung again."

 

Sehun quietly side-eyed the other before continuing, "I really think you deserve to know. So, just hear him out."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three days passed with Baekhyun thinking but it had been mostly him gathering up and preparing himself mentally and emotionally. Because as much as he knows he needed this, he's still partially scared of the things he'll hear and mostly scared of how he'll be able to take it all in.

 

So, one day, he just said ' it' and get it over with but days passed, and Chanyeol did not show up at the hospital again.

 

The past days, he knew Chanyeol wasn't as consistent as the first time but Baekhyun knows he still came by to ask for him. So, he waited but he didn't came anymore.

 

There wasn't any tall guy with the DSLR camera hanging around his neck waiting for him anymore. But something did came to him a few days later.

 

It was a box filled with pictures of his past, of their past.

 

But on top of it was a scrapbook filled with their most special memories perfectly captured in photographs.

 

The first ones were somehow fading already but the images seemed to only stand out.

 

There were short phrases each photo written in a somewhat messy handwritting. The first one saying:

 

The prettiest scenery.

The image was of the sun set by the park they first ever bonded but it wasn't the sun setting that had been the focus. It was focused on Baekhyun's side profile with the setting sun and the trees being the background.

 

The second was him reading a book in the library entitled Peaceful Afternoon.

 

It went on like that. Sometimes, it will be a polaroid selca of them both. Some where the things they shared. Some of it he remembered the one taking it but most of them were candid pictures of him in his everyday life.

 

As Baekhyun neared the end, the pictures slowly changed. He wasn't the main point of each photo anymore but just random things that was dedicated for him. Each photo were beautifully captured and one could see how the photographer's skill significantly improved a whole lot and anyone could also tell the theme of the photos started from bright pictures to somber, gloomy looking ones.

 

But what caught Baekhyun the most was the last photo. It was him again but the background wasn't blurred and the photo was in black and white. He was in the middle with his friends surrounding him as they all have bright smiles painting their faces. It was taken from the party and underneath it were the words I'm sorry. I love you.

 

On impulse, he flipped the photo and there it revealed a letter.

 

Baekhyunnie,

 

If you're reading this, it means I lost all chances to tell you all this personally. Could be because I don't have a chance anymore but I still want to say this.. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and this is not enough I know but I truly am sorry for everything. I left to chase my own dreams and promised myself that I'll come back when I became the person you can be proud of and the person your family will approved of.

 

I became too occupied with chasing my dreams that I unintentionally neglected the people who are important to me and then before I knew it, problems after problems just continued to pile up non stop. It may sound like I'm making excuses but at the moment all I thought was that I ruined all relationships I had with anyone, with friends and specially you. I wanted to reach out again but I was too coward to do so. Everything I did was all for nothing. I felt like I failed you.

 

But I wanted to try again that's why I came back. Because no matter what I tell myself, I need you. I want you in my life, Baek.

 

I know I've lost all my chances now. If you ignoring me isn't a blatant answer already.. But I just wanted you to know that our failed relationship isn't your fault. I'm sorry for putting you all through this.

 

Goodbye, Baekhyun. I'll miss you.

 

 

 

"What.." Baekhyun was sobbing and he didn't knew when he started crying. All he knew at the moment was he felt like Chanyeol was leaving him all over again, and this time, everything might be too late. If only he stopped being stubborn, if he just listened to Sehun, if he just gave him another chance like what his heart really wanted, if only he–

 

Baekhyun's phone went off and he grabbed to check who it was without much thought. It was Sehun.

 

From: Hunnie

Chanyeol is at the airport already. His flight is in an hour. He didn't wanted me to tell you this but I thought you would want to know.

 

 

 

 

 

Without another thought, Baekhyun grabbed his coat and car keys before bolting out of the door. With mixed emotions of fear, dread, and anger, he drove without stopping to the airport.

 

No no no no you're not leaving me behind again..

 

Baekhyun frantically pushed passed people as he looked everywhere at the airport for a tall man with distinctive ears that he adored so much. Looking for the person he couldn't live without no matter how hard he tries.

 

Please please please where are you, damnit!

 

Tears of frustration with a little desperation started to pour out of his eyes. Despite his blurry sight and the stares he was already getting, Baekhyun didn't stop looking. He shouldn't be late already.. He wasn't..

 

Was he?

 

"Chanyeol... I'm sorry," he sobbed as he continued to look left and right, everywhere. "I'm sorry.. Oh god, please, don't leave me again. Damnit!" He cursed out as he stopped on his tracks, panting from running around and from crying too much. "Damnit! Damnit! Damn–"

 

"Baekhyun?"

 

Said man let out a surprised gasp at the voice calling his name.

 

He's...

 

Baekhyun did not waste another moment as he swiftly turned around to face the man who always manages to wreak havoc inside him.

 

"Baekhyun, what are you–"

 

Chanyeol wasn't able to finish his question when a hard punch landed on his face that made him stagger back a little. Damn, that hurt.

 

Baekhyun did not give him another second to recover when he got attacked again. But this time it wasn't the smaller's hand meeting his jaw for the second time. Before he could even move a muscle, Baekhyun was already pulling him close as their lips met. Soft lips molding with his own and after recovering from all the initial shock, Chanyeol began to kiss back, arms instinctively wrapping around the smaller's waist as if it always belonged there.

 

Chanyeol was confused and he's not sure if this was just a dream and that he's already drooling his flight away but the warm lips eagerly and passionately moving with his own felt oh so real to be a dream.

 

"I ing hate it that I still love you," whispered Baekhyun once they pulled away but the distance between them were still merely hairs apart.

 

"What?" Chanyeol breathed out dumbfoundedly, mind still foggy from the kiss they just shared.

 

Feeling a little annoyed with that kind of response, Baekhyun pushed him just enough to put a little distance between them. "I said that you ing deserve that punch," he huffed out, tears building up again. "You freaking deserve it for wanting to leave me behind again!" He finally burst out, tears running down his face again. "Is that it? You're going to just give up like that? Huh?! If that's you're all going to do then you shouldn't have came back in the first place when you're just going to leave me again! I'm so ing tired of this game.."

 

Baekhyun cried as he hanged his head low, shoulders trembling as sobs racked through his body. "All this chasing is so t-tiring.."

 

"Baekhyun, hey," Chanyeol carefully stepped closer to the smaller as he gently lifted up his face. A small smile found its way on his lips seeing the messy look of the brunet. His nose red and eyes all puffy with some snot threatening to slide down but Chanyeol still thinks he's the most adorable person he'll ever met.

 

"Listen to me, okay?" Chanyeol continued as he continuesly wipe off the tears flowing out of Baekhyun's tired eyes with his thumbs. "I'm sorry for not telling you this earlier but I thought that you didn't wanted to do anything with me anymore. I thought I already lost my chance after you said all those things."

 

Baekhyun frowned and decided to bury his face on the taller chest. "You're stupid. An idiot.. but I'm sorry too," he whispered the last part but Chanyeol still heard it.

 

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" Chanyeol asked a little hopefully though he knows very well that it will take more than that to be fully forgiven.

 

Baekhyun shook his head before looking up at the taller again. "Stay. And maybe, I'll think about it."

 

Chanyeol let out a small soft chuckle as he gently cupped Baekhyun's face. "I can't. I need to go," he said while wiping the smaller's tear stained face. "But it doesn't mean I'm leaving you behind again," he added quickly when Baekhyun's forehead wrinkled in confusion.

 

"I know this sounds so jerk of me to ask you but can you wait for me?" Chanyeol carefully asked as he look Baekhyun in the eyes. "For just a little while I need to go and I know there's a lot for me to do but I'm serious when I said I'll do everything to win you back again. I promise I'll come back and I won't leave you hanging this time. I swear I won't up my chance."

 

Baekhyun sighed but nodded eventually.

 

"Thank you," the taller whispered, leaving another kiss on his forehead. "Thank you so much for giving me another chance."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

◆◇◆◇

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol leaving again didn't went as easy as he thought. That fear of everything crumbling to pieces again had always been at the back of Baekhyun's mind and it doesn't really go away. He knew they had barely fixed whatever relationship they currently have but he was willing to try again.

 

This time he'll really try for the both of them to work. As long as Chanyeol was willing to fix them like he promised. Baekhyun would hold on to that.

 

 

 

 

And Chanyeol did.

 

Chanyeol would always send him photographs of places and events he was in, enthusiastically telling Baekhyun the stories behind it. Sometimes, it would just be random pictures of sceneries or flowers or things that would remind him of the smaller.

 

Though of course, there were still times that Chanyeol would be too busy to even reply or send him a simple message of how his day went. But Baekhyun didn't hold it against him anymore. They both have their own lives and he could already see how hard Chanyeol was trying.

 

He couldn't wait to see him again. In person. In flesh.

 

It'll take time, but this time he knows waiting wouldn't be fruitless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's that time of the year again where the streets are full of leaves raining down from the trees. The breeze was cold to the skin as autumn was coming to an end and wearing thick, warm clothes were a thing again.

 

Baekhyun remembered the times they spent together on the bench under the large old tree by the park when he still lived with his parents back when they were still in college. The memory made him smile.

 

But his smile widdened when the person in the memory he was reminiscing was now standing just a few feet away from him, wearing the red scarf Baekhyun personally made for him on his birthday years back.

 

"I'm back," Chanyeol whispered with a bright smile.

 

"Welcome back, Yeol."

 

---

Soooooo, idk, tell me what you think? :3