We made love the whole night. I drifted off to sleep only to dream about the other night. The drinking, abduction, Tyler and everyone here. I looked at the bedside table and it was already 6 am. Krystal wasnt an early riser from what I can remember. She just changed when Dani came. I shook my head remembering those sleepless nights we spent taking turns in putting her back to sleep. That little monster is really something. A stubborn princess just like her mom. I watched Krystal sleep and feel a little creepy about myself. I cant believe everything that has happened even the thing with her last night. 

 

My heart ached when I remembered about her engagement with Jong in. It might just be a spur of the moment for Krystal being emotional and also had alcohol in her system. I got up and decided to make breakfast for her. 

 

Her fridge looks awfully usual for single people. Kimchi, different kind of alcohol, water, bacon and eggs. I thought it would be nice to make some fried rice for her. 

 

"smell delish." she said wrapping her arms around my waist. 

 

"coffee?" she shook her head and after I was done cooking I transferred the fried rice to a plate and put some sunny side up on top. 

 

"kimchi bokkeumbap?" she asked and I nodded. 

 

"that's all I can make with all the ingredients inside your fridge. Not my fault." I said and poured myself a cup of coffee.

 

"Amber the thing last night. I-"

 

"It's okay Krys. I understand that you have Jong in. We were both drunk and emotional."

 

"No it's not what I meant. I-I dont regret what happened. I wanted it. Sober or not." She said looking at me straight in the eyes.

 

"But you have him. I cant Krys. He is my friend."

 

"Our friend. Someone who stood by me when everything is falling apart. When you left me. When you disappeared and came back being successful."

 

"Dont you love him?"

 

"It is more that I am grateful of him. If not for him I wont be here eating with you." she chuckled. I wanted to ask why but she beat me up to it.

 

"I was depressed when we broke up. I always thought I will end up with you. I know we started wrongly having one night stand both being drunk. As I got to know you more, the more I realize everything happens for a reason. Maybe that one night stand happened because we were destined together. That's why when you left me I didnt know what to do. I tried ending everything."

 

"Krys-"

 

"It's ages ago. Dont worry. I know we were both young and ambitious. I know you dreamed of being a successful physicist. I'm glad that you somehow achieved it. While me, I'm doing my best to be on top. A person of the arts showing the beauty of it by filming." she smiled easing the atmosphere. She put down her spoon and went to sit on my lap.

 

"How was our married life? I mean sure we are not married but I want to know what happened. Those things you were saying last night. I cant say that I believe it but you dont have the habit of lying."

 

"Perfect. The first few years were a bit of struggle. We were both trying to earn for our little family. We had Dani on our first year. She was our little joy." Krystal was listening attentively. Everytime I talk about Dani her eyes light up. 

 

"You wanna know more about Dani?" She nodded. I continued talking about our child. What she does and those things she likes the most.

 

"An artist in the making huh?"

 

"Yeah. She always says she want to be like Mommy." 

 

"Why didnt we undergo another IVF? You know give Dani a sister or brother?"

 

"Because Dani is enough and she already completed the family. It was more of my choice. I dont want to risk it. You are anemic and you almost killed me for the hours you were in labor with her." 

 

"So you were a thoughtful wife to me?"

 

"Not really. I rarely get home early tho we have the fridays together." Friday. Nirvana. The night of abduction.

 

 

"Do we always have ?" a playful smile appeared on her face obviously teasing me. 

 

"n-no!"

 

"no?"

 

"I mean we dont have often because Im too busy with my students papers and lecture. We rarely have intimate time together. Plus there's Dani." she nodded and I looked at her. She looked so attentive. Believing everything I said without a doubt.

 

"I need to go back home."

 

"Why?"

 

"I need to see the papers I've been working on these past few years. I might see the answers there." She got up. 

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"take a shower. Want to come?" she offered and I quickly rejected the offer. Sounds tempting but no.

 

There was a knock at the door and I was surprised when the man entered without being invited. He pushed me hard and pointed a gun at me.

 

"Who are you?" I asked. The guy is wearing a leather jacket. He doesnt look familiar.

 

"Look this isnt my home. I dont have anything to give you." I said honestly but instead of robbing the house he grabbed by my collar. 

 

"You are coming with me." It was like a perfect timing. Krystal coming out of the bedroom already dressed. Eyes went big when she saw the stranger holding me by my collar with a gun pointed at me. She took a step towards us but before she comes near. The man shoot her in the head without hesitation.

 

"No!" I said but it was too late. She was dead. Puddle of her blood staining her clothes. 

 

"Who the are you?! Why did you kill her!!!" I said fighting with all the strength I had. I- my Krystal I lost her. She's gone. I was too emotional wrecked to process everything. He pats a piece of duct tape on my mouth and tied me my hands behind me. 

 

The man's phone rang and he answered the phone. "yeah baby. Job's here almost done. How about we grab some breakfast at your favorite restaurant and go out on a date. Yeah...yeah sure. Bye. Love you." I was left screaming in agony. Not because of physical pain but losing someone I love. I know she isnt my Krystal but still...my heart broke when I saw her got shot, bathing in her own blood. 

 

---

They were out to have some fun. They used to this all the time when Dani was still a little girl. It was a nice morning few days before Christmas when they decided to go in a outdoor skating rink. It was Amber's idea. She thought Dani wont warm up to the idea but she was wrong. Dani was very delighted being the sporty kid she is. They’re all happy, a trio of near-perfect contentment, drinking some hot cocoa, watching their kid have fun, skating. 

 

Soon Amber joined the fun skating after her daughter. Krystal was left watching. She watched them lovingly while taking a sip in her cup of cocoa. It occured to her that the feel of this day was somehow different. Unsure if it’s Dani or Amber or her. Amber is in the moment, not checking her phone every five seconds. And Amber looks as happy as she’s seen her in years. Weightless is the word that comes to mind. Her smile seems wider, brighter, more freely given. 

 

And she can’t keep her hands off her.

 

 Then again, maybe the difference is her.

 

Maybe it's the holiday but nonetheless she let herself enjoy the family day which was the first in ages.

 

--------

Dani got other plans after the family day. They dropped her off to her friend's house a couple of blocks away from Maxwell College.

 

They went home to change clothes, and then head out into the evening, just the two of them—downtown-bound, no itinerary, no specific destination. 

 

A Saturday-night ramble. 

 

“I think I know what I want to do first.” Thirty minutes later, they’re in a gondola car on a Ferris wheel strung with lights.

 

Hundred and fifty feet above the ground. Enjoying the city lights. You can definitely feel Christmas is coming. It was a bit chilly but Amber was there to hold her tight. 

 

"Beautiful." Krystal turned as she heard Amber said. A smile was given to her in return of the confusion she had written all over her face. Amber touched her chin and close the gap they have. A soft kiss which made her smile. 

 

"Thank you." Amber's voice is filled with sincerity

 

"For what?"

 

" For being the way you are."

 

"Stupid." 

 

Even up here, the night air is sweetened with the scent of funnel cakes and cotton candy. 

 

The laughter of children riding on the carousel. A woman screaming with joy at a hole-in-one on the miniature golf course far below.

 

Then came another kiss but this time it was different. Amber's intensity shreds through all of it. When he kisses her, she can feel her heart through her windbreaker, jackhammering in her chest.

 

----

They have dinner in the city at a nicer restaurant than they can afford and spend the entire time talking like they haven’t talked in years. Not about people or remember-whens, but ideas. 

 

They kill a bottle of Tempranillo. 

 

Order another

 

Thinking maybe they’ll spend the night in the city. It’s been a long time since Krystal has seen her wife this passionate, this sure of herself. She's a woman on fire, in love with her life again. 

 

 

Halfway through their second bottle of wine, she catches her looking out the window, asks, “What are you thinking about?”

 

“That’s a dangerous question.” 

 

“I’m aware.” 

 

“I’m thinking about you.” 

 

“What about me?” 

 

“It feels like you’re trying to sleep with me.” She laughs. “What I mean is, it feels like you’re trying when you don’t have to be trying. We’re an old married couple, and I feel like you’re, um…” 

 

“Romancing you?” 

 

“Exactly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. At all. It’s amazing. I guess I just don’t see where it’s all coming from. Are you okay? Is something wrong, and you’re not telling me?” 

 

“I’m fine.” 

 

“So this is all because you almost got hit by a car?” 

 

 “I don’t know if it was my life flashing before my eyes or what, but when I came home, everything felt different. More real. You especially. Even right now, it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time, and I have this nervous ache in my stomach. I think about you every second. I think about all the choices we’ve made that created this moment. Us sitting here together at this beautiful table. Then I think of all the possible events that could have stopped this moment from ever happening, and it all feels, I dont know."

 

“What?” 

 

“So fragile.” Now she becomes thoughtful for a moment. She says finally, “It’s terrifying when you consider that every thought we have, every choice we could possibly make, branches into a new world. We went to the skating rink then here dining. But that’s only one version of what happened. For instance, we could have gone to disneyland instead of the skating rink. In another, we could have stayed at home watching some movies or lame drama."

 

“But those other realities don’t really exist.”

 

 “Actually, they’re just as real as the one you and I are experiencing at this moment.” 

 

“How is that possible?” 

 

“It’s a mystery. But there are clues. Most astrophysicists believe that the force holding stars and galaxies together—the thing that makes our whole universe work—comes from a theoretical substance we can’t measure or observe directly. Something they call dark matter. And this dark matter makes up most of the known universe.”

 

 “But what is it exactly?” 

 

“No one’s really sure. Physicists have been trying to construct new theories to explain its origin and what it is. We know it has gravity, like ordinary matter, but it must be made of something completely new.” 

 

“A new form of matter.” 

 

“Exactly. Some string theorists think it might be a clue to the existence of the multiverse.” She looks thoughtful for a moment, then asks, “So all these other realities…where are they?”

 

"Here, imagine you are inside a box. Everything you need is in that box that you dont need to go out. You cant even imagine the world outside simply because you have what you need. You can move anywhere inside the box but could never go out. But outside the box, there is someone observing you. Though you dont know they are there because for you the whole universe is that box. Imagine them getting you out of that box and seeing other boxes around you. There are also a sky above you. A sun shining from above. You realize you’re a part of a much larger and more mysterious reality than you had ever dreamed of.” Krystal leaned back in her chair and takes a sip of wine.

 

 “So all these other thousands of boxes are all around us, right at this moment—but we just can’t see them?” 

 

“Exactly"

 

Amber used to talk like this all the time. Would keep her up late into the night positing wild theories, sometimes trying things out, most of the time just trying to impress her. 

 

It worked then. It’s working now.

 

She says, “In one of those boxes out there, do you think there’s another version of you that stuck with the research? Who made good on all the plans you had in your twenties, before life got in the way?”

 

 She smiled. “It’s crossed my mind.”

 

 “And there’s maybe a version of me that’s a famous director? That traded all this for that?”

 

Amber pushed the plates aside to hold her hand.

 

“If there are a million boxes out there, with versions of you and me living similar and different lives, there’s none better than right here, right now. I’m more sure of that than anything in the world. I dont want anything else aside from this."