WARNING: Some scenes on this chapter might be uncomfortable for other people.

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Three years ago.

Eunbi just received the news of their group’s disbandment. It took a toll on her and she sulked in one corner of her room. “Why are you so useless? And there goes your chance of being an idol,” Eunbi told herself as she repeatedly hit her head. She is mad at herself and her tears won’t stop falling. Eunbi lifted up her head, walked towards her bedside table and opened its drawer; there, she took a bottle of sleeping pills. Her head is filled with the voices that have been haunting her. She has never felt so dark and down. Her eyes travelled from the bottle of sleeping pills to the framed picture on top of the table; and she fell on her knees. It was a picture of her and her family; everyone was smiling brightly, especially Eunbi. Her grip on the bottle tightened as she stared at their frozen smiles, “I’m sorry for being a disappointment,” Eunbi muttered. She just sat there for moments, the sleeping pills still in her hands, “I miss you, mom, dad,” her sobbing became louder, tears kept coming out uncontrollably, “I’ve had enough of feeling alone. I am about to join you now,” Eunbi cleared , making up her mind. She opened the bottle only to find out that it’s empty. “Damn,” Eunbi cursed as she stood up. She aggressively threw the bottle to the floor and sat on her bead. 

She really is a failure. Her one attempt on ending her life also failed. What would a Kwon Eunbi, the epitome of failure, do in this world then? Be someone who would lift other people up because she is more worthless than them? Eunbi could not control her thoughts anymore. She composed herself to stop crying and when she did, she went out to go to a drugstore.

As she entered, the smell of medicine welcomed her; if only they could cure her, she would have went here before. It is not medicine that she is looking for since medicine is just a temporary cure. Eunbi went closer to the counter, “Yes?” the pharmacist asked her, “Can I have some sleeping pills? My insomnia kicked in again,” Eunbi said, rubbing her temple with her right hand, hoping to convince the person in front of her. “We don’t sell sleeping pills unless your doctor allowed you to. May I see your prescription?” the woman reached out her hand, “I left it,” Eunbi stuttered, “Then no pills for you. Sorry, miss,” the woman walked away to entertain other customers. Eunbi went out, her shoulders felt heavy but she just kept walking. She has no idea where she is going but she keeps walking.

Her mind is slowly floating; the thoughts, taking over. She does not have any energy left to fend them off so she just let those thoughts swallow her mind. Eunbi found life when she debuted; she had hope that dreams do come true if you work hard enough. Maybe the timing was not right or the idol life is not for her; but it is what Eunbi wants the most. If she could not get this, the what is the point of living? Before Eunbi’s parents left her, they encouraged her to become an idol since, as a child, Eunbi would keep singing and dancing. Not to mention, she grew up to be a gorgeous young lady; a perfect fit for an idol. Everything was set, Eunbi trained hard for her parents to witness her debuting but reality had to hit her so hard in the face. In a blink of an eye, they were gone. The last thing Eunbi could remember was her mother, reaching out to her seat to keep her in place, and her father, who nudged the steering wheel to spare their car from a hard collision. She lost her parents to an accident; and it was at that day that they were supposed to have a family trip before Eunbi debuts. When Eunbi is at her happiest, bad things always happen.

Reminiscing her memories with her beloved parents, Eunbi’s eyes became waterworks again, her head still facing down, her legs still walking to nowhere. She stopped when she suddenly bumped into someone, “Sorry,” she said, not bothering to bring her head up then she continued walking. She was forced to a halt when the person she bumped held her arm, “Are you okay, miss?” the person said, which was a little inaudible, Eunbi looked up to see that the person is eating oranges. “Do I look like I’m okay?” Eunbi snarled and the orange-eating girl just scoffed. She let go of Eunbi and said, “You try to become a good person, you meet mean ones. Way to go, Sian,” the girl turned around to continue walking, Eunbi did it too.

Eunbi continued to drown on her thoughts until she felt someone grab her arm again and made her face the other direction. Starting to get annoyed, Eunbi said, “What the hell do you want?” her brows are furrowed and tone is raised. The orange-eating girl flinched but she continued, “I’m sorry but my mom would always tell me to help people in anyway I can and I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight knowing that—” the girl did not finish her sentence when Eunbi shut her up, “Did your mom not teach you to not mind other people’s businesses?” Eunbi really did not want to snap in front of a stranger; it was not her personality but something about today made her lose herself. “I’d forget what you said. Say, want some orange?” the girl said as she offered an unpeeled orange to Eunbi, “I want you to leave me alone,” Eunbi said as she turned around and walked away. However, the orange girl was persistent; she followed Eunbi and walked quickly to catch up to the older girl and eventually block her way. Now, the girl has really gotten into Eunbi’s nerves. “What the hell do you want? Don’t you understand what being alone is?” that pulled Eunbi’s last string. What happened after made her more upset though. The younger girl was not fazed; instead, she was smiling. “As I’ve said, I only want to help,” Eunbi wanted to wipe that smile off the face of the person standing in front of her, “You want to help? Well the help I need is for you to shut up and leave me be,” Eunbi started walking again, making sure to bump orange girl on the shoulder; but, it was a wrong decision. As their shoulders touch, the younger girl held Eunbi’s arm and pulled her to a hug, “What the f—” Eunbi was not able to finish the sentence because the younger girl shushed her. Orange girl pulled away and faced Eunbi, “Not one person in the world needs no help. Remember that,” the younger girl said and Eunbi was astonished, “How about you give this stranger a chance to just accompany you to help you get through the day?” orange girl said and she waited for an answer. Eunbi was not up for this kind of nonsense. Sure, she needs help but today is the day that she would end everything. Her body worked against her, however, as she nodded her head yes. At that moment, Eunbi wanted to suddenly cross the street and be ran over by multiple cars—but she did not do it.

The younger girl was overjoyed upon Eunbi’s approval. She took her by the hand and dragged her to a café, “I didn’t bring enough money with me,” Eunbi said staring at the ground, “No worries, my treat,” the younger girl said as she bent her upper body to look at Eunbi in the face. The younger girl went to order their food and Eunbi was left on the table. Currently, she is thinking why she did not take back her answer and just let this stranger drag her; and, now, treat her. After a few minutes, the younger girl is back with two ice cream cakes and milkshakes. “Sweets help comforting a person. I think,” the younger girl said as she placed their orders on the table and sat down. “I’m Lee Sian, by the way. And you are?” Sian tilted her head as she waited for Eunbi’s answer, “Eunbi. Kwon Eunbi,” at that moment, Eunbi just kept her head down; her fingers gripping the spoon tightly, her left hand balled into fists. “Are you perhaps embarrassed because a stranger treated you?” Sian asked to which Eunbi nodded, “It’s fine. This is a dumb habit of mine,” Sian said while chuckling, Eunbi looked up, “You mean you’re this kind to strangers who you think need help?” Eunbi asked and Sian hummed yes. Slowly, Eunbi was feeling lighter. Despite the coldness of the ice cream cake and milkshake, she felt warm.
When they finished eating, they decided to walk around and get to know each other. “This might sound weird but you look familiar,” Sian said and Eunbi tilted her head, “I debuted before. We just disbanded recently,” sadness was evident in Eunbi’s tone. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—” Sian was about to apologize when Eunbi got ahead of her saying, “No, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault”.

When both of them got tired of walking, they sat down on a bench in a park. To break the silence, Eunbi started speaking, “Why were you so persistent in helping me? Why me?” Sian smiled at her question, “Because I see myself in you,” her answer left Eunbi confused which led her to explain it more, “I know how hard it is to keep chasing for uncertainty. I badly want to debut and become an idol but I don’t think I’m talented enough to make the cut,” she said and Eunbi started feeling bad. Before meeting Sian, Eunbi was ready to end her life just because she fell on the ground. In all honesty, Eunbi is more fortunate compared to Sian; the former has already experienced being one with the clouds while the latter has barely taken off. Eunbi placed her hand on Sian’s shoulder, “Don’t worry too much. Just think that it’s not yet your time,” she smiled, hoping to make the younger girl feel better about herself.

The two of them spent the rest of the day together and within that time period, they were able to know a lot about each other. When they got home, they started chatting and stayed up until around midnight. Both of them were enjoying each other’s company—like their friendship was meant to be.

The following days were the same: Eunbi and Sian meeting and hanging out in the day and in the night, they would call each other and stay on the phone for hours. Their relationship progressed quickly until they treated each other as best friends. They would be updated with each other’s agenda when they are not together; and when they are at the same place, they become inseparable. 

Months passed by and their friendship just became stronger than ever. Today marks their five-month old friendship and they decided to hang out in the café where everything started. To commemorate the event, they also bought the same things they ate before: ice cream cakes and milkshakes. “You should know by now that you have been the sweetest thing that gave me comfort,” Eunbi said while grinning widely, “Hey! Don’t smile too much! They might drag us out of here,” Sian said trying to contain her laughter, “Sian, I swear if you—” Eunbi did not finish as Sian spoke, “Your front teeth really look like a rabbit’s and they might mistake you for one,” Sian burst out laughing, the other customers in the café looked over their table, and Eunbi covered her face with one hand as she shook her head in disappointment—and embarrassment. “Between the two of us, you have the higher chance of getting us kicked out in this place; more so be banned,” Eunbi said as rebuttal. Sian was about to say something back but when she opened , Eunbi fed her with a spoonful of ice cream cake. She choked a little but managed to bring it down with a milkshake. Sian glared at Eunbi, “You did not tell me you had a plan to kill me,” Eunbi did not speak; instead, she prepared another spoonful of ice cream cake, ready to be forced into Sian’s mouth again. Sian’s eyes widened as she looked at the ominous spoon in Eunbi’s hand, “Seriously, Kwon Eunbi! You need a doctor,” Sian said and grabbed her spoon as defense. The two of them looked at each other, straight in the eyes, and, after a few moments, they burst into laughter. This time, the manager came up to them to ask if they could keep their voices down because other customers are already complaining. They said sorry and finished their food immediately; with laughs in between.

They got out of the café and walked hand in hand to the park where they opened up to each other. They sat down on the same bench, “We’ve been friends for so long, Sian. Thank you for not leaving me,” Eunbi said as she squeezed the younger girl’s hand, “Save your drama for tonight. Let’s just have fun while the sun is up,” Sian said showing Eunbi her bright smile, “Then what should we do before dark?” Eunbi asked, now intertwining their fingers. Sian put the fingers of her free hand under her chin to think. Eunbi stared at her and began taking in all of her features; her shining eyes, long eyelashes, perfect nose, and soft lips. Eunbi stared at Sian’s pouted lips and she felt her heart jump; this made her look elsewhere. “Ah! I know! Tell me something good and I’ll tell you something in return,” Sian said as she raised her index finger to exaggerate, “I thought you wanted to save the drama for later. How do we not get emotional if we give each other praises?” Eunbi asked and Sian flashed her goofy smile, “Hearing compliments make me happy. You’re the weird one,” Sian teased Eunbi as she showed her tongue. The older girl fought back by hitting Sian’s thigh with their intertwined hands, “You did not just use my own body part against me,” Sian narrowed her eyes, “Stop acting like a kid, dummy,” Eunbi said and she chuckled, “I am a kid. You are not,” Sian said and Eunbi hit her again, “You are only four, I REPEAT, FOUR, years younger than me. It isn’t much of a gap if you think about it,” Eunbi argued but Sian already had an answer to that, “If you think about it more, though, the moment I was brought to this world through my mom’s womb, you were already talking and running. I was only minutes old while you’re a full grown kid,” Eunbi’s ears rang. She really could not win one fight against Sian.

Eunbi smiled, “Fine, I give up,” and Sian smiled so wide, “I told you, I always win arguments,” Sian said as she crossed her arms