III

Kyungsoo has one older brother, Seungsoo. They were very close. Seungsoo would even take him to play with his friends. He used to want Kyungsoo to be good at sports like him.  However, Sports and Kyungsoo was not a good match, his hand and body coordination was unimpressive and he would just wimp out and be clumsy. The team where he’s picked almost always looses that he was soon being picked last. Kyungsoo didn’t say it, but he would always see the tinge of disappointment in Seungsoo for him. Kyungsoo was not lazy, he tried practicing and researching on tips to improve his performance, but nothing was helping him with sports. Seungsoo was also an overachiever which just pressures Kyungsoo because he also wanted him to be good at school. Unlike Seungsoo, Kyungsoo does not like studying but he did not want to disappoint his older brother even more.

So he studied.

He did get good grades, not as good as Seungsoo but still good enough to be top one.  Seungsoo would praise him. Kyungsoo would get happy at that but only momentarily. Kyungsoo would always get insecurities get the best of him. He still does not fit the mould of Seungsoo’s standard.

 Kyungsoo used to like it whenever Seungsoo would baby him when they were younger, but later on, whenever his brother would treat him like that. Kyungsoo feels like he was not seen as an equal, like he will forever remain as a kid in his eyes. It was an irrational thought and Kyungsoo knows that. There was little basis to his fears, but it was already what is ingrained on his thought. He knows Seungsoo love him, so he feels guilty that he would always doubt it.

Big Brothers are scary.

But well, Kyungsoo thinks that Jongin is not all that scary if he was his brother.

“My brother wants to meet you.” They were on a crowded hallway when Sohyun said those words. Kyungsoo placed his books on his locker and nodded to her girlfriend.

“Why would Jongin want to meet me though?”  Kyungsoo almost chuckled at the thought of Jongin wanting to meet him. Jongin had texted him several times already  about his text the day before and Kyungsoo had so much fun teasing the elder with his non-response. Maybe he was being too mean, but he did not regret calling him a liar or an idiot.  

Sohyun smiled thinly. Kyungsoo could feel her nervousness.

“No, not Jongin. Jinwoo” She corrected.

Kyungsoo did not know what to feel with that. He had never met Jinwoo. He only knew that he’s the overprotective brother. 

“When would I meet him?” Kyungsoo asked.

“If possible after school?” Sohyun was fidgeting. She was clearly nervous.

Kyungsoo smiled and patted her head to calm her down. It seemed to have done the trick as Sohyun then smiled at him. “I’m sure he is gonna like you.”

Kyungsoo does not know what to think with that. He was scheduled for the library later, but it’s nothing that a food bribe for Minseok can’t solve.

He’s really not sure if Jinwoo would like him. Who even told him anyway that Sohyun has a boyfriend? He was sure it’s not his girlfriend. It has to be that idiot Jongin again.

+++

Jongin did not expect this when he arrived home late. He had come from  Yixing’s house to play some videogames.  He arrived home at the sight of Jinwoo laughing with Kyungsoo on the sofa. They were talking about something and god knows what topic Jinwoo would be interested in.

When Jinwoo had discovered that Sohyun has a boyfriend, he had a very long sermon to Sohyun about how she’s too young or how she’s too careless. Nothing Jongin hadn’t already told her. Jongin felt like a jerk for enjoying it since he was sure that Kyungsoo would get it worse from Jinwoo. Their relationship would be cut so short.   It’s not like Sohyun hadn’t cried for a boy already. She would get over it after several days with another crush. Jongin supposed that he would buy Sohyun’s favourite ice cream flavour to make him get through it better. Jongin did not stay to listen at what Sohyun and Jinwoo talked about, so he did not expect Kyungsoo to be there in house when he got back.

Jinwoo rarely laughs. He also never socializes. Their older brother was a workaholic, and most of the time a nagger when he’s at house. He’s the only adult one there responsible for them since their father works abroad and their mother died when Jongin was seven. The three of them was a family.

Jongin tried to tiptoe to the kitchen because maybe Sohyun was there so he could ask what the heck is happening, but his brother saw him.

“Jongin, Come here and meet Kyungsoo. I’m sure you’re gonna like him.”  There was still a hint of laughter on Jinwoo’s voice. Jongin plastered a fake smile on his face.

Of course he’s gonna like Kyungsoo, he likes him already!

But he does not know that and he’s supposed to be angry at Kyungsoo because he called him a liar and an idiot and was not replying to his texts, but he could not hate him. Not even if he tried.

Kyungsoo blinked, looking up at him from the sofa. Oh, so this is gonna be it. He will be acting like he does not know him.

“I know him already, hyung.” Jongin said still with his fake smile.

“Oh, you do?” Jinwoo was surprised. He then patted Kyungsoo’s leg affectionately. It has no meaning but Jongin saw it. How dare his hyung touch Kyungsoo there? “Kyungsoo’s a very good kid and a nice talker.”

Kyungsoo’s a nice talker?

He only replies with one word back in the library! One word!

Jongin was still bitter with that.

Kyungsoo smiled at him, heart shape on display.

Jongin rolled his eyes.

He thought Jinwoo would be more overprotective. Why must he be all chummy with Kyungsoo now? There was now nothing he can do, Sohyun and Kyungsoo would continue, and Jinwoo wouldn’t be of any help.

“I don’t think I would like him.” Jongin said coldly. He then left. It’s better this way. He needed to get over Kyungsoo before he falls even deeper, and him smiling at him as if he had not been ignoring his texts had him feeling confused. Kyungsoo already does not think he likes him anyways. It’s not like Kyungsoo would care what he feels for him.

Kyungsoo doesn’t really care. Fine, he does. He was glad that Jongin was finally honest with his feelings for him so that he won’t be stuck guessing on what the elder thinks of him. He also felt a slight sting he tries to ignore. You wouldn’t be too happy if you know someone who doesn’t like you. Then again, he expected this already so it did not affect him that much.

Jinwoo released a heavy sigh when a door from the second floor slammed heavy. Jongin is very dramatic, Kyungsoo thought.

“I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. I don’t know what’s with Jongin today. He’s usually good at meeting people.”

“It’s fine, hyung.” Kyungsoo smiled.

Jinwoo liked him, and to think that Sohyun had said that he’s the ‘overprotective one’, so at least that’s one hyung that favours him.  When he arrived there, Jinwoo given him a once over and had interrogated him. Kyungsoo is rarely afraid of people, but he did feel intimidated. He just talked and smiled his way to him, and in no time, they were talking normally. It was then that he discovered they both have the same favourite author and they got into discussion about his works and time passed and it got late. It was already dark outside.

“No, it’s not okay. He was being rude.” Jinwoo said. He then stood up. Kyungsoo got anxious. Jinwoo then pulled him. “Let’s have a talk with him.”

“Uhhh... I think it’s okay hyung.” Kyungsoo did not want a confrontation with Jongin. It’s okay if he does not like him.

Jinwoo clearly had other ideas. Kyungsoo knew that he would have no say in what he wanted. With that, they walked up towards Jongin’s room. Kyungsoo could see some photos hanging on frames. Sohyun was very cute as a child. Jinwoo was handsome too. Kyungsoo also saw a picture of their parents. Jongin looked like their father, just an older one but with a forlorn look which contrasted Jongin’s boyish charms. Their mother’s smile was bright. She looked like Sohyun, and she could pass as their sister now at the time when the picture was taken. She has a youthful aura to her. Jinwoo is a mix of the two. He has their father’s height and facial structure, and their mother’s complexion and eyes. Kyungsoo saw a picture of Jongin and he had to fight himself from not laughing. He had long hair as a child and he was styled weirdly. He was so serious and stiff in front of the camera. Then there was this other picture where he smiled awkwardly, clearly instructed to smile but failing to make it look naturally.

Kyungsoo laughed, he could not contain it. His eyes crinkled into crescents.

Jinwoo looked back at him and smiled seeing why he laughed.

“Jongin had taken his pictures down one time, but Sohyun and I won’t let him.” He said. Kyungsoo had his hand on his stomach. He could feel his cheek going red from laughter. Jinwoo was still looking at him.

“Hyung, can I take pictures? Can I?” Kyungsoo asked, taking out his phone. He could use these pictures as blackmail for the elder, that would be fun.

Jinwoo chuckled and patted his head the same way how Seungsoo would do it.

---

Jongin hated it.

Why was he so overdramatic walking out on Kyungsoo and saying he does not like him. Yeah, he was bitter and he was also a little angry with him. But he also felt guilty. Kyungsoo might seem that he doesn’t care, but he is human too and he’s still a freshman. He should be the mature one between them. Why must Sohyun have him as her boyfriend and why must Jinwoo not hate him? The world is unfair. Now he would look like the evil one of them three Kim siblings in Kyungsoo’s eyes.  Kyungsoo would hate him if he hadn’t already and that’s understandable.

Jongin groaned, burying his head on his pillow. He thrashed on his bed due to frustration. Kyungsoo hates him!

There was a knock on his door. Jongin grumbled, he does not want anyone to bother with him. He had to collect his mind.

“It’s open!” Jongin shouted from his bed, finding no choice.

The door opened. Jinwoo was there not looking impressed.

“Where’s Kyungsoo? “ He pouted. “Could you please tell him I did not mean what I said?”

“Kyungsoo is both mature and cute, isn’t he?” Jinwoo started.

What now, does Jinwoo also like Kyungsoo? The world is really unfair. Why must people like Kyungsoo? It should only be him allowed to do that.

“I think you like him, Jongin.” Jinwoo said.

Jongin throat went dry. He sat straight from his bed, and looked at his brother. How did Jinwoo know? Jinwoo’s face was unreadable.

“No, I don’t” He lied. He’s panicking inside but he can’t let it show.  “Yeah sure, he’s cute and all. But he’s a meannie. How could I like him?  He and Sohyun suit each other better. Why would you even suggest I like him?”

Jongin laughed awkwardly. Yeah, he’s doomed.

Jinwoo blinked, eyeing him. Jongin had to look away from his brother. He’s afraid he could read him.

“I did not mean that in a romantic way.” He said flatly.

“Oh.”

Jinwoo kept eyeing him, and Jongin could feel the pressure in his gaze.

“Kyungsoo was supposed to go here with me, but he got distracted with your photos.” Jongin was thankful that Jinwoo changed the topic. If he knows or not, Jongin would rather not know. Wait, Kyungsoo saw his photos?

Jongin’s eyes shot straight to Jinwoo.

“I gave him our photo album when we were still children. He’s taking pictures of it as we speak.”

Jongin panicked again. If Kyungsoo had seen those then the chance of him attracting Kyungsoo is out of the window. Kyungsoo would think that he’s a dork which he likes to believe he’s not.

Jongin got up and rushed to go to Kyungsoo. He run and went pass his older brother who rolled his eyes. Jongin doesn’t care if Jinwoo knows or if he was being too obvious. He can’t have Kyungsoo see more of those. When Jongin remembered he has some baby photos there that his brother had insisted not to remove, his speed increased.

When Jongin got down, Kyungsoo was there in the sofa taking pictures of the album. Kyungsoo was smiling and Jongin could not get enough of that. Especially now, he was the reason he is smiling. Jongin stopped and got his phone out. He took a picture of Kyungsoo. If he’s taking pictures of him, then he’s allowed to take pictures of him too. After he slid his phone back to his pocket, he looked at Kyungsoo for a few more moments. He decided against approaching him. He sighed and turned to go back up.

Jinwoo was still on his room.

“It’s late. I asked Kyungsoo to sleep here. He’s okay with it. Is it okay with you if he sleeps here or would you want him to sleep on my room?” Jinwoo stared at him. “Sohyun is out of the question, I grounded her in her room. Even though I’m okay with Kyungsoo, it was still Sohyun who wrote those love letters and confessed to him even though I specifically said she’s not yet allowed to date.”

Jongin sighed. He does not want Kyungsoo to sleep on Jinwoo’s room, but his feelings for Kyungsoo was getting out of control and he knows he still has a line he must not cross. Kyungsoo sleeping on his bed won’t remedy that. He‘s getting hopeless. But he could fix their relationship if they have at least a time alone together. Jongin does not know if he’s just thinking of an excuse to have Kyungsoo sleeping there on his room.

“I guess he could sleep here if he wants to?" He returned the decision back to Kyungsoo.