When Jennie woke up she saw Jaehyun caressing her face. He was  crying as he slowly cradled her face ,his lips whispering ‘Lisa’ like a desperate prayer. His voice seemed raw and broken almost as though he had been awake the whole night, whispering over and over for a girl that could never ever be his. At least not in this wretched life. Jennie felt herself stiffen as she watched Jaehyun’s glassy eyes that suddenly pulled at her hair. It was the wrong colour. It wasn’t the beautiful shiny blonde that flew in the air as Lalisa moved about with a grace and charm no one else seemed to possess. Jennie knew he was upset and barely comprehending the moment. He was too lost in his memories, in his longing. Jennie wondered if it was perhaps due to the regret of sleeping with her the night before.

They had confessed to being each other’s first , both unwilling to lose themselves to anyone else but the blonde haired beauty and the seemingly cold guy respectively. However, that had all changed last night. Jennie and Jaehyun had given it up ; too mixed up on their own pain and grief , too caught up in their emotions to fully understand what was happening. Now as Jennie looks up at a crying Jaehyun she doesn’t know what to feel. Every time she had imagined herself being intimate with someone it had been Hanbin. The strong, stoic yet shy Hanbin who would hold her gently and kiss her with such sweetness that Jennie would be able to feel herself melting. Melting against him and his love that he held for her. She would be underneath him , in his arms, in his heart ; screaming his name like a desperate prayer and his lips would be uttering her name with similar heat. They would be entangled in fiery passion and burning heat. They would be connecting and twisting, pulling and pushing, melting and falling as they became one with each other.

Jennie feels tears at her eyes now. Unwillingly she utters the name that she has dedicated more than half her life to. Hanbin. Hanbin. Hanbin. Hanbin. Besides her Jaehyun stills. Jennie doesn’t look at him. He pulls his hands away and his breath hitches and Jennie thinks maybe he’s finally aware of what he is doing. She still can’t seem to face him though so she closes her eyes , when she feels him pull her closer. Awkwardly pressed together, Jennie and Jaehyun are hugging sideways with their legs in between each other’s and Jennie’s arms resting on his shoulders as he rests his chin on her head. To anyone else they would seem like a cute and cozy couple. However, the truth is very far from this. There’s a sudden silence in the room now and it feels odd. Jennie almost wants to hear Jaehyun beg for Lisa again , but she doesn’t say anything. Instead, she traces her finger over Jaehyun’s shoulders in a lazy manner. It’s random at first, just some shapes and doodles that Jennie isn’t aware she’s making. Jaehyun has relaxed at her touch yet the silence continues for a while before Jaehyun breaks it muttering Lisa again.

It takes Jennie a full hour before she realises he started after the random patterns turned into Hanbin‘s name against his shoulders.

After what seems like a long time when both Jennie and Jaehyun find the courage to walk out of the room, they see a disgruntled looking Irene nursing a cup of coffee. The smirk on her lips is unmistakable when she sees a partially Jaehyun and Jennie donning only a shirt that clearly belongs to the shirtless man.

Two days later the gang has gotten their together. Jaehyun isn’t leaving and Jennie feels a weird sort of relief at this. She isn’t sure if its because she considers him her friend or if it’s because she knows she has someone in the same boat as her ,suffering from the same thing as her , who she could possibly fall back on. So, Jennie is content, she really is.The bond between them had really grown in the past two days and although Jennie found herself staring at Irene’s lips a lot more and frequenting Jaehyun’s room almost every night ,she knew that nothing could have prepared her for this. She was still grateful though and she finally learnt what it meant by ‘you lose some you gain some’.

Three months had passed by and life was sailing smoothly. Jennie had gotten around to talking to Mino and the Winner gang again. She couldn’t exactly blame them for what had gone down. After all they hadn’t taken her to the reunion with the intention of exposing her to Hanbin and Lisa’s progressing relationship. Jennie was proud to say she had actually grown even more closer to them. She had matured. The Jennie from a few years ago would have been sullen and unwilling to talk to anyone, to caught up in her own selfish thoughts to notice others guilt. This new Jennie had changed a bit now. She had moved from being that typical angsts teen to moving forward. She had even picked up a job at the small cafe down the street and had settled permanently at Irene’s apartment, who seemed happy at the prospect of having people to come home to surprisingly enough. Jaehyun had also decided to stay and while he wouldn’t exactly say why, Jennie could guess the reason for herself. He was probably sick of running away as well. He had decided to go to a local college and pick up his business course that he had left back in America. Jennie didn’t think he was really into it but only doing it to pass time. He had also got a job as tennis teacher a few suburbs over  as well as at a small cafe similar to Jennie. He was making enough money to pay rent and buy himself food and daily necessities but Jennie wasn’t worried about him, not really. Quite similar to her , he would also get sent more than enough money to keep himself fed as well as buy few expensive Gucci products whenever he felt like it. Irene would always scoff at them calling them rich kids, but Jennie knew Irene didn’t really mean it especially when she was so vocal about appreciating all the alcohol provided by the ‘rich kids’.

They had even got a dog to add to the family. Jennie had named him Kuma after hearing the ridiculous names that Jaehyun and Irene had come up with and later giggled about together. Jennie had been quite bemused by their sudden uncharacteristic behaviour but deeply she was happy at how close they had gotten in such a short time.

Six months since moving in with Irene on a quiet Wednesday evening, Jennie was closing down the cafe early to go home. She had been starving and didn’t feel like making herself anything at the cafe rather opting to go home to Irene’s wonderful cooking. There was a light bounce to her steps and even a small smile on her face as she slowly walked home, watching the kids and elderly enjoying their time as she walked past the park. She felt herself feeling fond looking at the happy smiles pasted on people’s faces. It really was a happy day……..or rather it had been.

When Jennie reaches her apartment building she felt a sudden feeling wash upon her. She suddenly felt tense and aware, almost as though her body was warning her to be aware. It was a vague feeling and Jennie pushed it aside. It was a nice day and Jennie had no time to make herself sad and worried due to uncalled paranoia. She had even managed to convince herself  as she was knocking when Irene opened the door to the apartment looking rather uncertain and worried. Jennie felt the familiar fear bubble up inside her in a burst. Irene was biting her lips and looking worried about Jennie?as she ushered her in. The first thing Jennie noticed was the silence.

She wasn’t used to the apartment being this silent. Jaehyun would always have some sort of movie on or some loud annoying music playing as everybody got on with their own stuff. Irene was also the same, she had a habit of leaving the TV open at some random channel mostly as she binged watched kdramas. She was also notorious for being loud even when she walked from one room to another. Even their dog Kuma was silent which meant something really big had happened.

Was it Hanbin? Was he hurt ? Had he come to see her ? Had he said something about her ? Was Hanbin in trouble?

Questions after questions were running through her mind and yet nothing could have prepared her for what was truly inside. Sitting in the most uncomfortable armchair and avoiding the gaze of an angry Jaehyun was a tired and drained looking man. He was skinny; almost painfully so with dark hair and a pale complexion. He was sitting with his head bent downwards and his hands clasped together, as his feet slowly tapped against the ground. In that instance as Jennie’s breath caught painfully in she muttered just a single name; “Taeyong”.

The man moved his head towards Jennie’s direction before catching her eyes. Time stood still for a moment as the girl with the sharp ,cold features and the glossy eyes stared at the guy with broken eyes, and the pale innocent face. Before she knew what she was doing Jennie was suddenly rushing towards him, towards the man - the boy that had once been more important to her than anyone else. Her brother, her saviour and her constant rock that she had left behind. It was Lee Taeyong.

It was the boy that had held her hands at a young age and promised her the world. He was the boy that had earned a place in Jennie’s heart the same size as Hanbin. As she held him, silently shaking against him she truly felt regret. Regret at what she had left behind, who she had left behind. She felt guilt, she felt the familiar feeling of bile rising up and yet she also felt a painful crushing feeling of love. It was almost suffocating. It held her by the heart and threatened to crush, to break and  to tear as the sickening realisation of leaving Taeyong washed over her.

It wasn’t love like Hanbin. It wasn’t obsessive and dark , twisted and forced always unwilling and unresponsive. This love that she held for Taeyong and him for her was a pure love born from two young kids who had been all alone in this huge cruel world. No family to look after them, no friends to call their own and no one to turn to when the pain in their hearts grew to heavy and shown through their eyes too brightly. It was love that the two kids had cradled between their palms, nurturing it like they did their own hearts warming it with deep affection and loyalty. It was unwavering love that they had blew into each other’s mouth, encouraging each other to swallow, to embrace and to breathe into their body as they would breathe oxygen everyday.

Jennie and Taeyong’s love was different from everyone’s. It was undefinable. They held no romantic feelings for each other nor were they family by blood but they had both been willing to die for each other even in the early day; even when they were just seven and the weight of the world had only just started to press upon their backs. While Taeyong had come out with only a broken arm, he had also won her loyalty and love that she had to offer till the day they died. The love they had for each other was being able to reconnect instantly even after not seeing each other for years but it was also the guilt and the hatred they harboured within themselves; Jennie for leaving Taeyong and Taeyong for being unimportant enough to be left behind.

After a few emotional moments, both Jennie and Taeyong calmed down. They sat by each other, not once letting go of each other’s hands. When Jennie came to her senses and turned towards her audience, she noticed Jaehyun looked shocked. His eyes were wide and his eyebrows high in an unflattering arch. Jennie thought she could almost manage a giggle. Irene had turned away from them, obviously to give them privacy but her eyes held warmth for Taeyong the same way it held warmth for her. Jennie was grateful, she knew Irene loved him too. She had always been there with Jennie to help care for him and she knew Irene would do the same now, years after all three of them had been together.

The night passes in a hazy bliss. Jennie, Irene and Taeyong are truly very happy to be reunited again. Taeyong and Irene had both also taken a chance to talk and reconnect with each other, the smiles on their faces genuine and full of affection. Taeyong and Jaehyun introduction had been filled with slight tension , both boys wary and unsure of the other’s presence. Jennie had understood, both boys were similar and they didn’t understand how to react to the other. Jennie hadn’t thought it would be a problem. However, it had been uncomfortable and filled with tension for two months after Taeyong had come back into their life. Finally, a few days after Taeyong had officially moved in with them the boys attitude towards each other changed. Both refused to talk about it but something had changed between them, something had happened. With this change, the group dynamics also changed. A lot of things needed to be addressed and talked about, a lot of things needed to come to light. The group while open then ever before with everyone fully aware of Jennie and Jaehyun ing a lot, Jennie and Irene also spending nights together and Taeyong and Irene’s get together in the bedroom had also developed a lot of secrets.

Jennie it seemed for the first time had less secrets to worry about then the rest of the group. Irene had her secrets about her jobs, her friends outside the group and about the people that she was mixed with. Jaehyun mysterious as ever had secrets about almost everything related to him, from his hometown to his family. Finally, Taeyong had also acquired secrets over the years, few that Jaehyun had caught and few that he held close.

The group has turned dysfunctional, Jennie isn’t the least bit disillusioned about that. However, she doesn’t care, because these are her people and she know she will love them till the end. Jennie has left running away behind, she had left itin the past. She makes a promise while she laughs at Taeyong running away with a light blush on his face as Irene moves to capture Jennie’s lips.

A/N (is this how u do it lol ) So uh please comment cuz i would really appericiate knowing what u guys thought and originally i was gonna put in the story about jennie x taeyong and how he nearly died for her. But i think im just gonna let the story flow for now and maybeeee if u guys want post that bit as a bonus. Anyways, thanks for reading. 😊😊