Jennie has been crushing on Hanbin for a long time. She has read stories after stories about what it feels like to crush on someone, to obsess over them and even to love them. She has read about the butterflies in their stomach, the sweet pink blush that spreads across your cheeks and your heart as it beats a mile per minute.

However, Jennie never felt any of these; when she first saw Hanbin, sure she had felt a sense of nervousness but nothing more. She hadn’t been able to explain it so she had just brushed it off. It had only been when she was thirteen that she felt these strange feelings.

Jennie had been out of breath, resting her head weakly at the side of the staircase, struggling not to pass out, her mind on her parents and her eyes b with tears; Hanbin had shown up then. With a worried crease in his forehead, he had firmly grabbed Jennie’s hand and dragged her to the nurse’s office and made sure she was properly looked after before taking his leave. His action had left Jennie confused and restless. Why had this almost stranger shown more worry for her than the most important people in her life; who had failed to notice that there was something wrong with her?

The next day when she went back to school she found Hanbin searching for her before the bell rang, and when his eyes found hers, he had shot her a small tentative smile that still creased his eyes and lifted his mouth.

She was thirteen when there was something hot and warm pushing against her chest wanting to burst out. Jennie had run away, pushing past the students to find a place for herself as the world around her spun and his smiling face flashed across her closed eyelids. Jennie didn’t understand. What was this feeling and why was she feeling like this? That was when the research had started and by the next three weeks, Jennie could proudly say that she had nearly read half of the books found in the romance genre of her school’s library.

Soon, Jennie was running in the same circle of friends as him. They were a big group, comprising of around ten students from the same year as her with a few students in higher grades. Jennie had talked to or held a conversation with every member of the group besides Hanbin. She had even become close friends with Mino; a goofy guy who was a year older than her and always made sure to crack a corny joke to make her laugh. Jennie was also friendly with Jinwoo; Mino's friend and someone Jennie considered to be an older cousin of sorts. Jennie was closer to him than any other but their closeness stopped at the line of them being as close as cousins at the best. She was also well acquainted with the rest of the guys in Mino’s group who called themselves Winner and Hanbin’s group who called themselves Ikon.

Honestly, Jennie had found it very childish at first, not really understanding why their groups had to be named like that however when she had seen the pride in Habin’s eyes as he associated himself with ‘Ikon’ she had grown to find it ever so endearing. The group that consists only of Ikon and Winner members grew into a bigger group until Jennie was just floating around. She was still around Hanbin because she hung around a lot with Mino and Jinwoo and now Seungyoon, Seunghoon and Taehyun. They were nice boys to hang out with but Jennie still missed the company of girls;  although she had never encountered a problem, she had also never been good at being friends with girls.

Then, in the first week of the second term of year 7, she made friends with Kim Jisoo. Jisoo was a bright and vibrant girl that was so very different from Jennie. She was loud and funny, chatty and always seeking to be in the limelight. Jennie had been fascinated; how could such a bright and warm person exist? Jennie hadn’t known then that Jisoo was possibly the dullest and the coldest person she would encounter for a long time in her life. Jennie blossomed with Jisoo and grew so close that they started even proclaiming each other as sisters. Jisoo’s parents would shake their heads with a fond smile at them and Jennie’s parents would never be around for Jennie to show off her sister. A family comprised of those that Jennie had chosen and taken pride in calling her own.

Few days after meeting Jisoo, Jennie met Taeyong. Two days later she met Irene. Four months later, they were inseparable. Taeyong had become someone she protected at all times just as he looked out and protected her at all times. Along with Jisoo, she had started to imagine Irene as her sister and someone she knew she couldn’t part from. The short time they had spent together had worked wonder and she knew that their bond was extraordinary. She hadn’t thought it possible but Jisoo and especially Taeyong and Irene became the most important people in her life. Mino would glance at her small group that comprised of her most important people and give a soft smile and Jennie knew they were right to belong in her heart. 

Seventh grade passes in a blur, with Jennie maintaining perfect grades and admiring Hanbin from afar. The distance between them growing every day. Anyday, Jennie complains of this, Jisoo replies with a snarky comment that is immediately backed up by a “you can do better, Jennie” and so Jennie learns to keep it down and quite. If Jisoo her best friend can’t understand the way she felt, who would? This fear leads her to keep around Taeyong and Irene shut. She can’t face any judgment from them, she just can’t. She knows it would hurt her too much.

Little does Jennie know that she is a bit oblivious and doesn’t realise besides Hanbin and a few of his Ikon members, everyone from Winner, Irene and Taeyong already know of her crush on him. They never encourage her to confess to him but leave her to her own devices knowing that forcing her would get them nowhere. So, Jennie takes her time and tries her best to muster up her courage and spends a lot of her nights strategizing on how to approach Hanbin.

Jennie enters the eighth grade and thinks that she will manage it by the end of the first week. She has everything planned out and ready to go. She eas ready for everything; everything but..her. It is a Wednesday when Jennie is chatting quietly with Taeyong when she first sees Lalisa Manoban. Lalisa Manoban who had transferred to her school that very day and has Hanbin trailing after her with a dazed look in his eyes and a light blush across his face as he gazes at her equally shy face that’s looking up at him with big doe-like eyes.

It is also the same day Jung Jaehyun joins their school. He’s beautiful and smart, fawned over by the girls of the school.  He's even liked by the older girls and just like Lisa ,has been accepted into Jennie's group almost immediately. He's straight from America but Jennie doesn’t notice. She doesn't notice him but she can't help but notice the blush similar to Hanbin spread across his face when he talks to Lalisa. Now, she mainly sees  Hanbin and Lisa from the distance as she feels the colours draining from her world.