Chapter 5
Regrets and WishesRemember the Christmas we spent together on stage?
It was one of the happiest Christmases of my life. The stage seemed brighter with you there and so was I, something the members teased me about often afterwards. But I always denied it, choosing to remain foolishly blind to those feelings I was developing.
"I have to work hard. I have to be the best"
That's what I always told myself to get my mind off you, thinking I could stop myself from falling in deeper.
But I failed, Soojung. One of the only things I have ever failed at, in my whole life up till now.
I remember stealing glances at you as we walked the stage, smiling when you smiled about something. You didn't leave my mind for even a second during those two days.
(EXO f(x) Christmas Wonderland)
You turned around to smile at me softly, when it was my turn to sing during Magic Castle and my heart stopped for a second. I had reckoned for the first time then, that maybe I wasn't the only one feeling this way.
And I had left the stage, feeling a warmth that went far beyond just physical.
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