"You're zoning out a lot these days, Jongin. Get your head out of your behind or else I’ll do it!"

Hearing those words from our instructor, I felt like somebody had poured a bucket of cold water over me. This was the very first time that I ever got scolded by him, I was always the favorite and most hard-working in the team.

And that's when my Godforsaken mind decided to put the blame on something most precious to me: you. I needed to focus on my work, especially after the break I had taken, owing to my injury. You were becoming a distraction. I was always too excited to meet you after the practices and schedules, and I kept losing myself in your thoughts. That was entirely my fault but my mind chose to blame you.

I wish somebody had beaten some sense into me then!

And so I started doing what I deemed right: ignoring you. I didn't call you for days at a time, and only barely replied to the texts you sent. All the time I convinced myself that this was for the better, that I needed to concentrate on work more, I had already lagged behind a lot.

I was such a selfish jerk! How long could I expect you to keep waiting for me? I kept ignoring you but you still didn't give up.