Lost
Cry Out With My Heart and Soul
Special Yesung POV Version
Before Ryeowook dropped me off at my apartment, I gave him my number in hopes he would text or call or something. Maybe we could still hang out, you know? Despite how short of a time we got to know each other, it felt like this wasn't just something he could walk away from as easily as he did.
It had been four months since that day we said goodbye, and in that four months, I'd heard absolutely nothing from him. Of course, he might've forgotten, or he might not be a texter, or caller, or hanger-outer. Though he seemed like he would be…
I flipped my phone out again, a slight ray of hope that he had texted or called or…something. But my phone screen was the same as it was five minutes ago, with no new messages or voicemails or missed calls. I sighed and pushed myself off the bed, grabbing my jacket and leaving my apartment. I found it funny how ever since we parted ways, I had been heading out into Seoul more often, just to head out… Just to see if he was doing just what I was doing.
Every day was something different, now. My friends often complained, because I used to be so predictable. If I were going out, I would always go to the same coffee shop, and then proceed to the cake store, mostly just to look at the cakes. After that, I'd head to Central Seoul and people watch (which always meant something different with me than it did to my friends. They would pick out cute guys or girls when they people watched, but I tried reading people to see what was going through their heads.). Lunch was always skipped, but then I would go to a candy store and get some gummies to hold me over until dinner, which was almost always at one of my friends' houses.
But lately, I would go somewhere different every day to see if Ryeowook would be there and I went out nearly every day. Friday nights and all day Saturday, I worked at a restaurant a block from my apartment, and every Friday and Saturday, I hoped and prayed with all of my might that Wookie would walk in and sit down and I would be his waiter and he'd smile and laugh just like we did four months ago. But every Friday and Saturday, I left discouraged.
I was actually kind of amazed that finding Ryeowook again became my life goal.
Moving into the fifth month, I was out walking late at night when I saw someone standing at the bridge looking down into the water. I hung back and decided to watch him. Usually, this strip of sidewalk was busy, but tonight, it was just him and me standing here on the bridge. It was pretty cold, but he was wearing a tank top and jeans. He had to have been cold, standing there. I was, and I had on four layers.
In the darkness, I couldn't make out facial features, let alone his expression, but as he breathed heavily, his breath coming out in a cloud, I could sense sadness and determination. Just as I was going to approach him and ask if anything was wrong, he pushed himself onto the rail and jumped into the water below him. But as fast as he moved, I moved faster. I ran and grabbed his hand, hoping to pull him back onto the bridge, but it was too late.
We both fell off the edge.
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