Bam Bam: Hey! Ren! I saw you on the track today again. You’re killing it like always. I wonder how you can outrun the whole track and field boys’ team.

Getting himself comfortable with your best friend. As he plops himself beside her on the cafeteria bench. But she pays no mind of entertaining the guy beside her. As you sit across them looking at the situation. Yup, your crush is hitting on your best friend. What’s new. You know you’re bound get this crush over, because it will not lead you anywhere. Just like those girls drooling over him. It’s hard, even though you know, and they know he only has eyes for one girl. Your best friend, Ren. You’re can’t blame him. Just like how Bam Bam is one of the popular guys on campus. Your best friend is one of the popular girls on campus. Even thought, she pays no minds to any guy that approach her. She is definitely an ice queen. But who wouldn’t fall for her? Her long silky hair, big doe eyes, small face, sharp nose and face structure. Not only that she’s tall, her beautiful slim legs and her fashion sense. Plus, her whole vibe of hard to get, draws guys in even more. Unlike you, short, stubby, not good at any sports and the only place you’re most familiar with is the campus library and your dorm. You know there is nothing wrong with that, but you can’t help but be conscious about it.

 

Bam Bam: Can’t believe you beat your own record again. Especially while those legs of yours.

Ren: Bam. If you open your mouth again. I would deck you and stab your eyeball with my freaking eye liner.

Bam Bam: Feisty. I like!

Ren: That’s it. Y/N, let’s get out of here.

 

Getting up, your best friend pulls you up as well. Dragging you out of the cafeteria with her. Down the halls to both of your shared dorm. As the door closes and she flops down her bed. She screams in agony.

 

Ren: Why do you even have a crush on that guys. Why does any girl have a crush on him? Argh you know. Soojin tried out again for the track and field team.

Y/N: It’s her last year here no?

Ren: Yup, guess this girl doesn’t know when to give up. Just like a certain someone here.

Y/N: Hey! I feel attacked

 

Getting up from your spot on your bed, with your pillow. You jump on to her’s and attack her with the pillow. But as usual you’re too slow. Only a few hits in, your pillow was gone from your hand. Pouting at your best friend. You plop down on top of her. Cuddling on her form. While she puts her arms around you bringing you closer to her.

 

Ren: There’s literally so many guys on campus. Why him?

Y/N: Hmm… the heart wants what it wants.

Ren: Hmm.. I wish you could love yourself more. That way you wouldn’t put yourself down and fall for ty guys like him.

Y/N: It’s not that serious anyway. It’s just a crush.

Ren: Good. Wouldn’t want you crying over him. Silly girl!

Y/N: Not that serious. I’ll get over it when a better guy come by. And even if I’m a silly girl. I’m your silly girl, right?!

Ren: Hmm.. You do know you have a bed right. It’s just a few steps over there.

Y/N: Hmm.. But yours is comfier. And there’s you. My human body pillow.

 

Giving up on trying to convince you. Not like he was trying anyway, he much rather you sleep here that on your own bed. Because you’re warm. Yes, that’s what he tells himself. And not because he likes the way you curl up to his form and how much his heart is beating, when you’re close to him. He wonders how long he can keep his secret before you found out. As your breath becomes stable. He wonders out loud.

 

Ren: How about me?

 

-

 

Bam Bam: Hey! You’re Y/N right?

Y/N: Ehmm.. ya…

Bam Bam: Do you want to grab a coffee?

 

Staring at the guy infront of you as if he has grown two head. Did your crush just ask you out? Just what is going on. Are you going to go with him? Well, your lessons for the day has ended. You’re just about to head to the library to get some essay done. It’s not like you’re in need to rush these essays. You still have time to complete it. You still have a week till submission date. It’s not too late even if you start later at night. What the heck. You’re just going to take your chances. Just when you’re about to answer him, you phone vibrates in your pocket. Taking it out to see who it was from.

 

Y/N: Give me a moment.

‘ From Ren: HEY!! WHERE ARE YOU? You’re not at the library or at the dorm. It’s been 15 minutes since your lesson ended. Are you kidnapped? Send 1 if you are. Drop your location. I’m going to send a squad to bust you out!

To Ren: Stop overacting. I’m fine. I’m actually going to grab a coffee with Bam Bam. I’m dropping my location, so you know where I am.’

 

Putting your phone in to your back pocket after you drop your live location. You look up at the guy infornt of you. Giving him a small smile.

 

Y/N: Coffee?

 

-

 

*Ren’s POV*

 

Did I just see that correctly? She going to grab coffee with Bam Bam. What? Is she out of her mind? Why would she? What does that dude want with her?! Forget it, I’m going there now. But what am I supposed to do? They will catch on to me quickly. . I can’t believe I’m doing this.

 

-

 

You knew it wasn’t that simple. Huh. You try not to zone out as the guy infront of you goes on and on about your best friend. What were you expecting? A sudden love confession. Girl you dumb. But surprising, you feel nothing. Maybe even expecting something like this would happen. Huh. Maybe finally taking Ren’s advice on loving yourself more works. Cause you finally see what kind of guy the person was infront of you. You could finally see why Ren would go on and on about how can guys like this get girls. Frankly speaking, you’re just thinking of how to get out of here.

As you’re trying to seem interested with the conversation the guy infront of you is talking about. Little did you know that your best friend has already entered the café a few minutes ago. Just sitting a few tables down. But without his makeup, wig, fake s. Dressed in a tank top and jeans pair with a bucket hat to hide his face. Face seemly angry as he hears the one-sided conversation both of you are having. Mentally scolding how stupid you are. Because you’re sitting through a one-sided conversation with you crush going on and on about another girl. Which is technically him. Why would you degrade yourself like this? What is wrong with you. Don’t you see you deserve so much better than the guy infront of you. Someone who doesn’t see you like you’re their whole world, don’t deserve to have your time like this. Why are you even giving him the time of the day? He had it. He had enough of this. He is not going to let you sit there and humiliate yourself.

 

Bam Bam: So, as I was saying. Do you know what kind of guy Ren likes?

 

Stomping up to the table both of you are. He grabs your hand pulling you up from your seat. As he puts a hand on your waist. Looking at him, you gasp. Mind wrecking on about what was going on. Questioning if that is your best friend infront of you. Similar look plaster on the guy that was across from you.

 

Bam Bam: Ren?

Ren: I’m not Ren! I’m MinKi. I’m Ren’s twin brother.

Bam Bam: that makes sense. Sorry dude. It’s just you look so much like her.

Ren: That’s how twin works, !

Bam Bam: You even curse like her.

Ren: Whatever, I’m borrowing her for a while.

 

Not even seeking any respond first. He drags you out of the café. Face full of anger.

 

Ren: What are you doing? Why are you putting yourself in that position? Is it worth it? He doesn’t even hold a proper conversation. And all he talks about is me and what I like. And how much he likes me. What are you doing? Why are you putting up with that? Why don’t you love yourself?

                                                    Y/N: You’re really Ren huh.                                                   

Ren: What..? I mean-

Y/N: It makes so much more sense you know. Always showering alone, refusing me to budge in on you. Sometimes even resort in take shower in the middle of the night when I’m asleep. Waking up at least an hour before classes.

Ren: Y/N… I can explain…

Y/N: Please do. Because I want to know why my best friend has hide her identity for so long. Or should I refer you as he now. Clearly, you’re a guy.

Ren: I was a mistake. A simple now. My documents got key in wrongly and I didn’t even check it properly. The next thing I know, I was move into a girl’s dorm. Not my fault, who even checks the gender part on the documents when handling in. I thought to myself, since it has happened, I shall just deal with it. Girls are cleaner anyway. No way am I living with a bunch of guys with a wrecked dorm. It’s not like when we graduated our certificate would have put our gender. So, I told myself what the heck. And went with it. But this isn’t important right now miss. What’s more important is you. Silly girl! What the hell are you doing.

Y/N: I made a dumb decision of agreeing to get coffee with him. Now I’m suffering the consequences.

Ren: I’m going to end this now. You can’t just keep crushing on someone that doesn’t see how beautiful you are inside and out. Wait here! I’ll be back.

And with that, your best friend stomps in the café again leaving you outside. As he stomps up to the table where you crush was. Looking very intimidating while speaking to him. Only after about 5 minutes in, he walks out.

 

Ren: Go to him. I know you’ll hate me for this. But I can’t just let you put yourself out for a guy that doesn’t appreciate you. You can shout at me or hit me even hate me. But for now, go to him. It’s for your own good.

 

Looking at your best friend you frown, not knowing what he was doing. But none the less you complied and step into the café again. As you settle yourself infornt of the guy you came with.

 

Bam Bam: Y/N.. I’m so sorry. I should have known. If I have known you like me. I wouldn’t have asked you out to ask about Ren.

Y/N: Huh… That’s was what he means by hating him…

Bam Bam: Y/N…. I’m really sorry. If I have known I wouldn’t take your feeling for granted. I wouldn’t have done this. I’m not that cruel you know. I really like Ren. You should know. I..

Y/N: Huh… It didn’t hurt at all…

Bam Bam: Y/N…. Are you okay??

Y/N: I’m fine… I think. I’m not sad surprisingly. And don’t worry about it. I’ve liked you for over a year. I know your anything but cruel. It’s not your fault you have no idea about my feelings. Maybe I’m just so good at hiding it. I’m taking it as a compliment. I feel dejected not going to lie. But I really think I’ll be okay.

Bam Bam: You’re a nice girl you know. And I’m sorry I didn’t see that in you. I just only have my eyes on Ren you know. It’s not like you’re not a great girl or anything.

Y/N: It’s fine. I can’t blame you. It’s hard not to fall for Ren huh.

Bam Bam: Clearly… But even thought I might not see how great you are. I feel like there’s someone that dose.

Y/N: What do you mean?

Bam Bam: Min Ki. He looks like he cares about you a lot.

Y/N: Well he does he is sort of my friend anyway.

Bam Bam: I didn’t mean it as a friend. I really think Min Ki like you. As in he like like you. You know. Not many guys would come up to their friend’s crush and tell them to reject their friend lightly.

Y/N: He’s just being a protective friend. He just doesn’t want to see me get hurt.

Bam Bam: Y/N… You don’t understand. If they are twins, Ren and Min Ki. They are more likely alike. Ren rejects guys on the spot, hard and direct. Because she doesn’t want any guy to have any lingering feelings or even a tiny hope of being able to get with her. If they are twins, they are more likely alike. Think about it. Would Ren put it down lightly to a guy because she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings? It’s the same. She wouldn’t, because to her it’s much better to hurt the person than give them any wrong sign or misjudgement of being able to get with her. Min Ki, he stomps in here all angry only to tell me you have or had feelings for me. And ask me to give it to you lightly if I don’t feel anything for you. It means that he doesn’t want to see you hurt, like alot. Because he cares about you a lot. He cares so much that he practically broke his own morals. Because it means nothing to him, as long as you’ll be hurting less. Because he will be hurt too if you’re hurting.  

Y/N: I…

Bam Bam: I’m not saying I’m right 100% but I’m a guy too. If this was Ren here, I would do the same thing as what Min Ki did. Because nothing hurts more than to see someone you like being hurt by another guy. He might be the one for you. Just saying you know.

 

With that, you thought of the chances that Ren, your best friend being in love with you. Is it even possible? Like really? It’s not something you can actually concluded; you just find out mere minutes ago your best friend is actually a guy. Did Ren actually like you as a girl. Someone he would consider to be with. It’s not something you could find out now. But you’re just glad that you have a friend that cares about you so much. Deep into your own thoughts. You didn’t know that you’re that touched by the action of your best friend. Till he stomps back in again. Grabbing the guy across from you up with his fist bunch into his collar.

 

Ren: I TOLD YOU TO DO IT LIGHTLY!!

Bam Bam: Dude I did!!

Ren: THAN WHY IS HER EYES FILLED WITH TEARS?!

Bam Bam: Dude! I don’t know man! I’m getting out of here!

 

Huh, you’re crying? No. you’re definitely tearing not because you’re sad. Touched? Yes. But you’re not actually that sad till you would cry. But your best friend across from you, is kneeling down infront of you. Worried spread across his face. As he wipes the tears that has fallen on your face.

Ren: Hey.. It’s okay… You can cry… You can cry now. I’ll buy you your favourite ice cream and we can binge watch the Netflix series you have been talking about. And we can stay up all night and talk about everything and anything. I wouldn’t even complain if you choose to sleep on my bed again. Hell, I would not even complain on anything you want to do. I’ll just complied with anything. Just… Please… don’t cry so much over someone that is not even worth your attention. Okay? You deserve so much more than him.

Y/N: Anything??

Ren: What?

Y/N: You would go with whatever that I want to do. If it makes me feel better.

Ren: Yes! Anything, I would do anything to make you feel better. So silly girl stop with the tears alright.

Y/N: Okay.

Ren: Wait.. what really? Okay?

Y/N: Okay. I want chinses takeout, pizza and a tub of mint ice cream.

Ren: Okay! Let’s go get it right now.

Y/N: I’m not finish.

Ren: Okay..

Y/N: And I want to talk to my best friend. I want to get to know HIM as who he is.

Ren: Silly girl. I’m still me. With or without my makeup and fake hair and s. I’m still me. I’m the same.

Y/N: Okay. I want to talk with my best friend then. Without all the makeup and fake hair and s. Because I want my best friend to be comfortable with me, just like how I am with him.

Ren: God! I thought you would never ask. The wigs and s are so uncomfortable. I don’t even know how you girls can stand it for your whole life. No offenses. I just have a newfound respect to all the girls out there. Let’s go get all the stuff to make you feel better okay.

 

As the light seeps through the window, indicating another new day. Your eyes flutter open, just like any other day. You know your best friend is pretty, it’s nothing new to you. But as you’re met with his face this morning, while knowing he was actually a guy this whole time, less than 24 hours ago. You can’t help but notice if his eye lash was always this long. If his nose was always like this perfectly sculpted. If his lips were always this pinkish and soft looking. His feature is still delicate. But something about it today, his face seems less feminine than usual. Especially without his long silk hair. Did he always look like this? He was no doubt beautiful as a girl. But you didn’t know he was this devastatingly delicately handsome as a guy. You can’t help but lift your hands up, tracing the slope of his nose with the back of you index finger. As your finger is tracing, his hand wrap itself on your wrist. Stopping your motion. As he places a kiss on the inner palm of your wrist, eyes still shut. While intertwining both of your fingers together placing it just next to his head. Something about this action makes your heart skip a beat while a slow rise of heat makes it’s way to your cheeks. You know it’s nothing new to both of you, but now you’re questioning if he was always this affectionate towards you. And you can’t help but let Bam Bam words repeat itself in the back of your mind.

 

-

 

As the weeks pass by, you know you’re in deep. Because you’re slowly noticing every little thing your best friend does. Like how he would pout cutely when he ate something not to his taste. How your face would heat up when he was done with his shower. While coming out with his shirt and pants like usual. But you just can’t help to notice the lack of hair length and the lack of voluminous s. As you notice his tone chest instead and abs which you accidentally caught a glimpse of. When he was drying his hair one day, while his shirt riles up exposing the tone abs of his. Was he always this tone? Not only that, his gesture and affectionate nature didn’t help at all. Which only adds up to your quicken heartbeat and red cheeks. His habit of place kisses on your head. His habit of tighten his arm around your waist every morning while hiding his head in the crooks of your neck in protesting of waking up early. His habit of always giving you his chicken drumstick from his bowl because he knows how much you love it. And how he always finishes up your vegetables for you because he knows how much you hate it. Or his habit of warming your hands up with his, pulling your scarf higher up to your nose because he is scared that you might fall sick.

All these gestures, you know he is just a very nice and caring person as a friend. But sometimes you can’t help but wonder if it was anything more than that. Was there anything more than that between the both of you. It a fine line of being affectionately caring and love. And you had no mind of crossing it. 

 

-

 

You have never once thought you would be in this situation. Trap against your dorm door by your lovely roommate. His hand on both side of you, preventing you from escaping. His eyes stared straight at your, you’re sure if gaze could kill, you would have already been dead by now. His disapproving look he gives you, shows how much he had enough of the stun you had pulled for weeks. Coming back later than usual, most of the time in the middle of the night, when he was already asleep. And you would be gone by dawn before he wakes up. You avoid going to the library even, because you know he would find you there. Switching to doing all your assignments in a lecture hall that you know it’s hardly used. His texts and calls will go unanswered. He doesn’t understand, you just need time to get over newfound crush on him. And it is not helping at all when your trap by him against the dorm door now. Your heart pounding in your chest, makes your mind clouded. Cursing yourself for being so careless. You should have never come back for your laptop. You were already out of the dorm before he wakes up. But you have to forget to take your laptop with you, when rushing out. Now when coming back for it, you roommate has you trap by the door, while you were rushing in to get what you need and go.

 

Y/N: I have a clas-

Ren: Do I look like I care?

Y/N: I just need my laptop, I really need to go.

Ren: Than talk.

Y/N: What?

Ren: You have a class to attend right? Then start talking. Why are you avoiding me?

Y/N: I don’t know what you’re talking about..

Ren: BULL!! You know you’re lying straight at me. What are you doing?! IF I have upset you in anyway, why you can’t just tell me?! Why do you have to pull this ?!

Y/N: I really don’t know what you’re…

Ren: You really want to do this? I have all the time of the day to play with you. We’re just going to be stuck here until you explain what the hell is wrong between us?! Just last week you were snatching my bed space, and the next day you just ghost me? What is going on?

Y/N: Ren… I..

Ren: No, don’t do this. You know are friends. There’s nothing you can’t tell me. Is.. it me?

Y/N: .. What?

Ren: Are you disgusted by me? Was it because you found out I was a guy. Are you uncomfortable with me now? …. I should have never..

Y/N: Is not that…Ren

Ren: Then tell me! Tell me why you are avoiding me?! Because right now my mind is blank. I don’t know what I did to you, to make you distant yourself away from me?! Was it what Bam Bam say the other day?

 

-

 

*1 Week Ago*

 

Bam Bam: Sup!

 

He appears out of nowhere, seated right to your best friend on the cafeteria table.

 

Ren: Nobody wants you here. Get lost.

Bam Bam: Aww.. sweetheart, I’m hurt. But I’m actually here to chat with Y/N.

Ren: Since when did you have anything to talk to her about?

Bam Bam: Hmm… So how’s you and minki?

Y/N: Huh..?

Bam Bam: You thought about what I said the other day?

Ren: What did you tell here?? What does Minki have anything to do with it?

Bam Bam: I was just telling her the other day about how your brother might be in love with her.

Ren: Wait.. what?

Bam Bam: You brother drop by the café the other day, when I’m with Y/N. Things happened and I told Y/N that he might be in love with her. Because of the way he acted.

 

It was torturing, you didn’t wanted Ren to find out about what Bam Bam had told you. You’re still figuring out your newfound crush on your best friend. And Bam Bam had to spilled this. What was more awkward is your best friend sitting there frozen on the spot. Which makes you confirm that what Bam Bam just said was not true. He looks shock, as if what he heard was outrageous. You didn’t mean for your heart to be broken so soon for your newfound crush. You need to stop this, before it went too deep.  

 

-

 

*Present*

Ren: It was wasn’t it….

Y/N: Ren…

Ren: Are you that put off by me? Are you disgusted by me?

Y/N: Ren? What are you talking about?!

Ren: Was the thought of me being in love with you put you off so much that you don’t even want to be my friend anymore.

 Y/N: Of course not?! Why would you say that?

Ren: Than why are you avoiding me? Because all I can reason in my head was because you’re disgusted by me. Disgusted that you found out that I’m in love with you. That’s why I never meant for you to find out. I never would have… I shouldn’t have let you find out…  .. I can’t do this..

Y/N: Wait… you’re in love with me..

Ren: Of course. Do you know how hard is it to see you pinning over the damn guy. When all I want to do and tell you is to look at me?! All I want was to choose me…

Y/N: … idiot.

Ren: … I know I’m an idiot. You don’t have to tell me twice.

Y/N: No.. NO.. you got it all wrong. … I meant we are both idiots. Dummy the only reason I avoided you was to get over my crush on you. I thought you find the thought of me being with you, disgusting. Because of how your reacted he way you did the other day at the cafeteria. You totally froze and look at Bam Bam as if he grown two heads. I thought… That’s why I avoided you…

Ren: We are idiots ain’t we….

Y/N: Ya….

 

Chuckle filled out the tense silence. As his head fall on to your shoulder. His shoulder that was once tense, now relaxed. He cleared he throat. One of his hand pull of the door frame. Sliding down your arm to your hand, intertwine both of yours. He gives it a tight squeeze. As his shoulder rise and fall from his breathing. As you feel it tense again. A comfortable silence filled the air for a moment before he speaks again.

Ren: But at least with have each other, now right?

Y/N: Hmm..

Ren: If it’s not too late…. Would you give me a chance to be the better guy that come by to sweep you off your feet?

Y/N: I would love that..

 

A smile creeps to yours face. Hand squeezing both of you intertwine ones. His shoulder now full relaxed. He traces your collar bone with his lips. Something about it is very endearing to you. You have known him for so long, you have never seen this side of him before. Especially not this shy. But it’s okay, because you know you’re going to be learning a lot of this new side of him from now on. You could feel a smile creep on to his lips as he places a kiss just below your  collar bone. Pulling you to him, as your back lift from the door to his chest. Caging you close to him.