THE BLAME

II. Nothing Lasts Forever

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

He drove her home that night, in silence. With tears keep silently flowing from her eyes, she asked him, “Are you okay?”

His lungs screams, ‘it’s not okay!! Can’t you see that I’m in pain?’ but GD nodded, “Are you okay?” he asked back.

“I hope I’ll be okay soon.”

They smiled as he reach her house, the place he knew like his own house.

“Promise me not to avoiding each other tomorrow, or YG will scold us.” He said.

“Oh, about that… maybe we shouldn’t tell him just yet.”

“I understand, with all the comeback and your international debut, that’ll be hard for him if we told him.”

CL smiled. However ten years is not a short time, they do have connection in their mind, just not anymore in their heart.

+

GD woke up and peeking at her wall clock, 2.35 am, he was only asleep of half an hour. He sat up and drown his face between his palm.

‘it’s so hard to sleep…’ he thought, ‘and even harder to awake when all I can think is her saying goodbye.’

He grabbed a bottle of mineral water on his nightstand and saw picture of him and CL there. A picture of them on stage, hand in hand among all their fans.

That picture was take during the YG family power tour concert, several months after being caught by the paparazzi, they were finally together on stage for the first time and all their friends keep teasing them and suddenly the crowd wants them to show some skinship, first they were yelling ‘kiss her, kiss her.’ But then his fellow Big Bang, Taeyang, said,

-flashback-

“Heyy… there’s some of you that is still underage, we can’t show kissing scene here… what about the two of them showing some skinship?” he said and the crowd went crazy.

GD had been on stage since he was 8 years old and that was the first time he feels nervous again on stage.

CL trying to say no to Taeyang but all her 2ne1 members pushed her towards GD, he knew he gotta be the man so he took her hand and clasped it with his.

“Please support us.” He managed to say that while looking at the girl beside him, her face is blushing but she’s smiling widely with a hint of tear in the corner of her eyes.

And that was five years a go.

-end of fb-

“!” he grunts.

GD took the picture and slammed it inside the drawer.

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know
 

CL didn’t even sleep a wink last night, and this morning she went out her house very early in the morning. She took her car which left at the company last night when GD insisted her to come with him.

She sighed.

CL decided to drive around without any particular destination. She gets into the highway, rolled down the window and feel the morning breeze in her face, but then a paper flew to her and she catched it.

A polaroid picture of their anniversary, probably their sixth or seventh anniversary, she lost count. In that picture CL was laughing while pointing at the cake while GD doesn’t looking at the camera.

She remembers this year they didn’t celebrate it right on the date of their anniversary, simply because of schedule and also because GD forget about it, CL sent him text saying ‘happy anniversary’ but GD replied 14 hours later when the anniversary day is already passed, and it was because at that time CL was in LA and GD in Seoul.

He felt bad but even though she was disappointed, CL said “its’ okay, you have much more thing to remember, just make sure you’ll never forget my birthday.”

GD gave her hug, “I’d never forget that one.”

On her birthday earlier this year, he’d probably forget about it if its not because of the fans, they were all over GD’s social media commenting how weird he is because he’s not posting anything during his girlfriend’s birthday. He ran to any cake shop nearby and speed up to CL’s house. She knew he wasn’t prepare anything because the cake was small and chocolate, GD knew CL never liked choclate cake, she only eats strawberry cakes.

-flashback-

“Is this the best you can get?”

“No, Chae, I prepared it before.” He grinned.

“You forgot my birthday?”

“Hey, hey, we’ve been celebrating it every year and I got slip off just once, please don’t be mad.”

“What’s your excuse this time?”

“I was at the studio all day, I wasn’t pay attention to my phone all day.”

She looked at the clock, its 10.23 pm, “my members and friends came this morning and bring me many things, fans made me a huge cake with my face in it, while you, you came when my birthday’s almost over.”

“Oh come on, I said sorry.”

“You said sorry? When?”

“I haven’t?” he asked back and Chaerin closed the door in front of his face.

She stopped talking to him until he apologized with around three different luxurious birthday gifts for her.

-end of fb-

She forced a smiled but then reach her chest.

She knew there’s a permanent scars in her heart now.

How many times he stood up on her, and how many time she tried to tell him but he seems to be in his own world.

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
But misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

She’s always been so quiet about the relationship, she never really confront him, she keep her thought for her alone. Lately. Only lately.

GD remembers she used to be someone who could say anything to him, but lately she became the person who prefer to stay silent. He knew she was upset on somethings and he w